Right Through Me [onkey] [PG-13] [1/1]
Title: Right Through Me
Pairing: Onkey
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst, Fluff
Rating: PG-13 [Language]
Word Count: 4,558
Summary: Growing up isn't always the easiest thing to do.
A/N: For mcg_2nw , Merry Christmas, bb! Beta'd by eijifujiryoma , thanks as always, love!
“Who is that guy?”
Kibum plays nonchalant. He has no intention what-so-ever of allowing his gaggle of friends to know his true interest in their favorite cafe's counter boy. No, he merely wants to know who the baby faced employee is because he's dead bored. Not because the jerk totally ignored his flirtatious smile and wink.
Flipping a piece of perfect hair from her face, one of Kibum's closest friends, Nicole, smirks over at the boy talking easily to a customer. “You don't know who that is, Kibum?”
“Obviously not.”
She pulls the straw of her low-fat smoothie to her lips, eyes zeroing in on Kibum now. “He goes to school with us, he's a third year.”
Kibum's eyebrows shoot up. “A third year, really? I thought he was younger than us.” He catches himself sounding too interested, brushes down a loose strand of hair and shrugs. “How do you know him, Nicole?”
“He's, like, the sweetest guy in school,” cuts in Sulli.
“Yeah, and the president of every academic club,” Nicole adds, sending Sulli a disapproving look for interrupting. “Totally everyone's secret crush, they're all just too afraid to admit they like a nerd.” She giggles into her drink as Sulli's face turns bright red, the comment directed at her.
Kibum takes a sip of his latte, hums in thought. Without meaning to, he gets caught in a daze, staring at ... Wait. “What's his name?”
Nicole rolls her eyes. “Sulli, you must know.”
Ignoring the bitchy look and tone, Sulli smiles at Kibum. “His name is Jinki, but everyone calls him Onew.”
“Onew,” Kibum repeats, letting the word roll off his tongue like a drop of candy. Smooth.
He nods, that's the right name for someone like this Onew character. Hm. He'll have to look around school for him tomorrow, maybe bump into him …But then, Kibum's never been patient when it comes to getting what he wants.
“I'm going to get something to eat,” he announces, on his feet and strutting to the counter before the group can guilt him out of it.
“Oh, hello.” The words are curt, unfeeling, dull.
Kibum frowns. He just saw Onew talking so chipperly with the woman before him in line. “Hi, you're Onew right?”
Small almond eyes blink, caught off guard. “Yeah, I am. How'd you know?”
“Well, not because of your name tag.”
Onew jumps, looks down just as his hands fly to his chest. “Oh, no, I forgot it again.” He fumbles and feels around his pant's pockets before retrieving his name plaque. “I'm sorry, please don't report this. It was just a slip up - “
Daringly, Kibum reaches across the counter to place a finger lightly against Onew's delicious looking, feeling, lips. “I won't report you, I was only upset because I shouldn't have to ask around for a guy's name when he's as cute as you.”
“I - You - What?” Onew shakes his head, lightly pushes away Kibum's hand. “Did you want to order something?”
Kibum retracts his hand in astonishment. “You're joking?”
“Did you need a refill? Caramel latte, skim milk, right?”
“I - Nothing, no, never mind.”
In a huff, Kibum spins on his heels and stomps back to the table where his friends are seated. Nodding to the girls in departure, he picks up his brown leather satchel and makes to leave without a word.
“Wait, Kibum!” Nicole calls after him. “Where are you going?”
The door slams shut in reply, Kibum struts onto the street without a look back.. Nicole scoffs and turns to the other girls at the table with a look of utter disbelief.
“I can't believe he totally disregarded me!”
It's close to midnight and Kibum has been repeating the same phrase over and over again. His closest friend and secret keeper is sitting at the end of his enormous mattress, acoustic guitar propped up in his lap as he strums absently. It's a lucky thing for both of them that neither of their parents took the time to worry about their curfews, considering it was a school night.
“Jonghyun, are you listening?”
“I think I've got it,” the third year mutters, tongue poking out of his mouth as he takes the pencil from behind his ear and jots something down on a sheet of music.
Kibum flops dramatically across his bed. “I give up! I'm going to die old and lonely, and you don't even care! I hope your boyfriend enjoys that song, considering you're completely ignoring me for it.”
“What?”
Kibum glares at the back of the pretty brunette head. “You're not cute.”
Jonghyun stops writing, turns to him with a shit eating grin. “Minho thinks I am.”
“Well, good.” Kibum crosses his arms. “Just go to your gigantic boyfriend, leave me to wallow in my depression.”
Relenting, Jonghyun sets his guitar down gently before swiveling to face Kibum, sitting cross legged. “Look, Kibum, we've gone over this only about a million times tonight. So Jinki wasn't interested in you; that equals the end of the world?”
Arms flailing, Kibum's mouth opens and closes as he searches for a better way to word what Jonghyun has said, something that doesn't sound so vain. Damn him, always bringing Kibum crashing back to the reality when his head is up in the clouds.
“Okay, so maybe you're right.”
“Maybe?”
“But still!”
A warm hand smooths back his hair soothingly. “Just calm down. I'm sure he was just … in shock. Onew is kind of an awkward guy, he's not used to people like you.”
“People like me?” Kibum leans into the touch and takes a deep, settling breath.
“Well, you know, someone with a smoking hot bod and self confidence bursting through the roof.” Jonghyun laughs, prods Kibum in the side until he rolls onto his back. He absently starts working out the knots built up from an afternoon and evening of stressing. “How about this, I start laying some ground work for you? Onew's in a few of my classes.”
Kibum kicks his feet out in excitement. “Really?”
Jonghyun grins, flicks Kibum on the thigh before continuing the massage. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn't?”
“Well, you have been really busy with Minho lately … “
“Kibum,” Jonghyun warns.
Kibum lets his breath pass through pursed lips. “Right, right, best thing to ever happen to you. Sorry.”
Putting more force than necessary into rubbing Kibum's shoulders, Jonghyun jerks him around more than anything. “That's right, you'd better remember that. Besides, it's not like I've totally forgotten my needy best friend - I'm here now, aren't I?”
Despite all of his moaning and groaning, Kibum doesn't know where he'd be without Jonghyun. His laid back personality keeps him grounded amidst the sea all his other vain and self absorbed friends. Not that he doesn't enjoy that part of his social life, it gives him a thrill, but it doesn't beat just chilling and chatting with Jonghyun about anything and everything without the pressure and judging. He'd voice his thanks to Jonghyun but then their friendship isn't based on sappy feelings, so he keeps it to himself - he doesn't need to say it for Jonghyun to know it, anyway.
“So … Why are you even interested in Jinki?”
Kibum rests his chin on his arms, crossed over each other in front of him. “I don't know, honestly. There's just something about him.”
Jonghyun nods. “He's definitely not your type. Maybe you just want a taste of the nerdier side of life?”
“Maybe … “ Kibum stares hard at the wall, wishing he'd see answers instead of Jinki's chubby mug.
Two days. That's how long it takes for Jonghyun to get back to Kibum about Jinki. He's starting to feel antsy, like maybe he's better suited for the job and should just confront Jinki himself. Only a moment away from jumping up from his desk and tracking down the third year, Jonghyun struts into the room, uniform jacket slung over his shoulder. Kibum watches him, buzzing with expectancy.
“Well?” Kibum demands as soon as Jonghyun settles, sitting backwards on the chair in front of Kibum's desk.
Jonghyun scrubs a palm over his lower jaw, hums. “Have you ever heard of a first year named Taemin?”
“No … ?”
“I thought so.” Jonghyun diverts his eyes to the window. “I guess you tore into him pretty good at the beginning of the year when he accidentally spilled something on you at lunch?”
Kibum blinks, scrunches his nose. “Oh, I remember that kid. Ruined my pants!” He straightens his shirt. “But what does he have to with Jinki?”
“He's his friend.”
“Oh.” Shit.
Jonghyun stares him hard in the eyes. “Just give up on this guy.”
Kibum's lips move in awkward fish motions. “Why?” he finally settles on exclaiming.
“He's a loyal friend, okay?” Jonghyun shakes his head. “I've never seen him hold a grudge against anyone before … “
“Wait, no!” Kibum flounders and, god, he never flounders. “What can I do to make this better? Should I explain to Jinki that it was my favorite pair of slacks? I mean, I had them tailored to hug everything just right - “
With a snort, Jonghyun reaches forward to place a hand on Kibum's shoulder. “Making excuses won't work.”
“Then what can I do?” He's never felt this desperate before, all over this crazy crush.
Jonghyun sits back, crosses his arms. “Grovel for forgiveness from both Taemin and Jinki, pretty much make a complete idiot out of yourself.”
“What? No way!” Kibum protests vigorously, rising out of his chair. “I'll never!”
“Exactly. So forget about Jinki.”
Right, that's his only choice! Kibum sits back down, finality in his actions as he picks up his chop sticks to continue eating his lunch. Never will Kim Kibum lower himself to apologizing; all for something that was the kid's fault anyway! No, never in a million years. Besides, how could he live that down?
Jinki's lost his chance to be with the hottest guy in school, all for his stupid friendship.
Then why is he dragging Krystal to the cafe with him?
Maybe he just needs to make sure, hear the words directly from Jinki's mouth. Who knows, Jonghyun could have heard him wrong. Or maybe Kibum is just an infatuated teenager.
“Ugh,” he groans, stops just outside the door to the cafe. “I can't do this.”
Krystal raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow. “Do what?”
Kibum rubs his arm, peers in through the window inconspicuously. He's there, like always, serving a customer with well rehearsed finesse. He can't go in, but he can't not go in. What is with this Jinki guy?
“Never mind, come on.” Kibum grabs Krystal's arm and tugs her into the cafe without giving himself a chance to second guess his decision once again.
“Kibum, what - “
He doesn't hear his friend's complaints, dropping her at a table and promising to bring back her favorite drink. Kibum walks up to the counter with determined steps. He will not back down from .. from whatever magnetic force is attracting him to this total nerd. He'll convince Jinki to go on a date with him, to at least consider him, then get bored and throw him away - just like all the other guys. Perfect plan.
“Hello, Jinki.”
Jinki's smile dissipates. “Oh, hello. Back again? Would you like to try a new drink, or the same - “
“Are you interested in me?” Kibum curtly asks, cutting right to the point.
It takes a moment for the counter boy to recover from the bluntness of the statement. “I thought I already explained everything to Jonghyun,” he says meekly.
“So, what he said is true?” Kibum narrows his eyes. “You really aren't interested in me because of your friend?”
Jinki's face becomes set when Kibum brings up Taemin. Damn, he really is loyal. “Yes. Now, would you please order so I can attend to the rest of the customers?”
Looking over his shoulder, Kibum scowls at the line forming. “Fine. Two mocha lattes with skim milk - no cream.”
How dare he - Even to his face! Jinki prepares the order quickly and with expert grace. Kibum scoops them up, pays for them with his nose held high in the air. Fine, he doesn't need his approval anyway. He can live without Jinki.
Kibum sits in his room after school, stares at his ceiling without bothering to change out of his uniform. The crown molding is really gorgeous … He's studied every aspect of it for the past week. It only took three days for his phone to stop buzzing every five seconds, his friends getting the hint that he doesn't give a shit about whatever dirt they've unearthed. They're so immature, why did he even hang out with them in the first place?
A small sigh escapes his pink lips, chapped. He should probably get dinner. Or did he already have dinner? No, that dull ache in his stomach means he hasn't …
“Kibum!”
He doesn't blink, doesn't move at the familiar voice that calls down the hall in warning, just before the door is shoved open.
“There you are,” Jonghyun says, sounding like he's been running a marathon.
Kibum lazily directs his gaze towards his friend. “Yes, you've found me. What do you need?”
Pouncing onto the bed, Jonghyun straddles Kibum's waist. “I don't know what's gotten into you, but you're getting up. Now!”
Finding himself staring cross eyed at Jonghyun's finger, pointed directly at his forehead, Kibum frowns. “Why am I getting up?” he asks, voice dreary even to his own ears.
“You're getting out of this house.”
“For?”
“Are you really questioning me?”
Kibum rolls his eyes, won't argue because it takes too much energy. “Well, I can't very well get up if you're on me.”
Jonghyun looks down and his eyebrows raise ever so slightly with realization. He removes his legs from either side of Kibum until he settles down on the other side of Kibum's excessively large mattress. He motions with his brown, puppy eyes towards the closet. Kibum groans, lugs himself up with less than little enthusiasm.
“What should I wear?” he calls from the inside of the walk-in closet.
“Something ...not flashy.”
“Not flashy? So, boring?”
“Exactly.”
Kibum shrugs, pulls down a pair of tan slacks, a blue and white pin striped button down long sleeved shirt, and a navy blue sweater vest, red and white diamond patterns running down the front. Boring enough, but at the same time flattering. Brown loafers, and his attire is finished.
“Let's go,” he says, a sigh in his words.
Jonghyun grimaces. “Can you at least try and sound un-zombie-ish?”
Kibum stares at him, blinks.
“God, you're really lovesick, aren't you?” Jonghyun shakes his head in disbelief, slings an arm around Kibum's thin shoulders. “I have just the fix.”
“Jonghyun, you had better not - “
“Just follow my lead.”
A math competition. Jonghyun has brought him to math competition. Any other time, Kibum would be dashing out the door with his face hidden, not wanting to be caught dead at such a horrid event, but now all he can do is silently, resignedly, follow Jonghyun to the front of the school auditorium. They take seats beside some pretty auburn haired boy, but Kibum doesn't really linger long on that.
He feels completely unattached to the situation. Until he walks out on stage.
Kibum tries to shoot out of his seat the moment his eyes land on Jinki, but Jonghyun holds him down. “You bastard,” he growls, struggling against the stronger teenager.
“You aren't going anywhere,” Jonghyun states calmly, face serene. “You're going to face this. Look, Taemin's right next to you, why don't you apologize to him at the same time you cheer Jinki on?”
“Jonghyun,” Kibum says lowly, “I'm not making a fool out of myself.”
“What, because you aren't right now? Stop being a coward.”
The words sting. Kibum falls back into his seat just as the house lights dim, focus drawn on the stage. Jinki is sitting behind a long table with the rest of his math team, or whatever the hell, and there's a white board behind them. Across the stage are their opponents. None of them stand a chance, looks wise, to Jinki, that's painfully obvious.
Kibum watches Jinki, analyzes the way he moves and speaks assuredly after his critical gaze checks over his work. His team takes the lead quickly. But no matter what, Kibum can't bring himself to be interested in math.
“Taemin?” he whispers, leaning towards the pretty boy beside him.
Large brown eyes round on him and the boy almost instantly stiffens. “Oh. You.”
“Hey, I just wanted to say I'm really … I'm really … “ Kibum swallows, tries to will the word to just slip from his tongue, harmless.
Taemin's pouty lips form a thin line. “You're what? A complete asshole? Yeah, already got that.”
Kibum rubs his neck. “I'm .. sorry.”
“What?”
Shutting his eyes, forcing himself to breath deeply, Kibum repeats,” I'm sorry.”
“You're … really?” He barely knows this kid, but Taemin's expression tells Kibum all he needs to know about the image of himself - too proud to say 'sorry.'
Kibum's tongue darts out, moistens his dry lips. “Yeah, really, I am.”
Taemin sits back in his chair, eyes never leaving Kibum's face. “Huh.”
“Huh?”
“You must really have the hots for Jinki.”
“W-what?” Kibum splutters, a light blush ghosting over his milky white skin.
Taemin smirks, mischievous. “I know everything. Like how Jinki won't even talk to you because of what you did to me.”
What a bitch. Kibum can already sense a growing fondness for this kid. “So .. Do you forgive me?”
“Yeah, sure,” Taemin says with a shrug, “Won't change Jinki's opinion of you.”
Kibum feels like falling over. “Why?” he asks, exasperation evident.
“He doesn't like what you and your friends stand for. All of the judging and gossiping and destruction of other people's lives. Yeah, pretty much goes against every single one of his morals.”
He can feel his heart drop way into his stomach as he murmurs a barely audible “oh.” He should have seen this coming, should have known … But no, his head was too far up his ass. Kibum rises to his feet and slips past Jonghyun before he can be stopped. God, he's such a complete idiot.
He's outside in the biting chill of fall, auditorium left behind, before he feels the presence at his side.
“What?” he croaks, fighting back emotion.
Taemin looks up at him, gaze scrutinizing. “Are you really .. shocked, finding that out? You couldn't have thought people actually approved of what you do.”
“Don't you think I know that,” Kibum snaps, then shivers from the cold and wraps his arms around himself.
“Then why are you so upset?” Taemin continues to prod.
Kibum stares up at the night sky, overcast. Gorgeous. “I don't know, maybe because it's been at the back of my mind this whole week. That something, someone, I really want, I can't have because of everything I do for temporary thrills.” He can't believe he's actually talking to this first year about this. It's probably going to be spread around the school by the morning, that he's a sappy moron.
“But you can't really regret everything you've done?”
“No, I don't. But I want to, I want to feel the same way about it as … well, Jinki. It has to be right.”
“Why do you like Jinki so much?”
Kibum's lips quiver. He sounds crazy, insane. He doesn't even know Jinki, yet he's out here resolving to change for him. “Honestly, I have no idea. It's not love at first sight or some shit like that, I'm not reckless. There's just something about him that draws me in.”
“His sincerity?” Taemin's brow is quirked in question.
Looking down at him, Kibum considers his words. Sincerity, something his life lacked. Possibly, maybe …
“Kibum!”
Jonghyun runs up to the two, panting. Kibum takes him in with a bored expression, any traces of a deep conversation gone.
“It took you this long to find me?” he asks, amused.
“Hey, that was kind of interesting!” Jonghyun protests, “It took me a minute to realize you left.”
Brushing a piece of lint off his friend's shirt, Kibum snorts. “Right, you were so into the competition you didn't notice - or maybe the rack on the judge?”
“I - You - No!” Jonghyun stutters, waves his arms in the air frantically.
Taemin snickers. “Well, I better get back inside,” he says, waves, and Kibum finds himself compelled to wave back.
“You can't tell Minho - “
Kibum pats Jonghyun's head. “Yeah, yeah, c'mon, your secret will die with me.”
Time passes slowly when one isn't out to know every detail of every person's life in school. Kibum has time to do tasks once pushed aside - like homework. His parents are practically buzzing around him, all beaming smiles and kind words towards his new found dedication to school work. “Our studious son” they're now able to gush. Kibum can't say it's a bad feeling to know he's making his parents proud. Almost makes him warm and fuzzy inside.
But it's not enough.
Kibum tosses and turns at night, sleep evading him despite the amount of brain energy he's used. He even resorted to running on the treadmill, in hopes to tire himself out physically as well as mentally, but only find himself tired and sore in the morning.
The biggest adjustment he's had to make is going from the very tip-top of the school food chain, to nearly that of an average, no-name student. He doesn't sit alone at lunch, but he also doesn't have people begging to sit with him, to just be seen once by his side. Kibum finds himself yearning to be back with his old group - has Junhee officially announced her pregnancy yet? Everyone knows Junsu knocked her up - but he quickly snaps himself out of it and moves on to a different thought, a distraction.
That distraction normally consisting of a certain third year with a baby face and swoon-worthy smile.
“Jonghyun, I don't think I can handle this anymore,” Kibum relents while walking from school on a particularly slow, uneventful day.
“Is being normal that hard for you?”
“Yes! I have nothing to do!”
Jonghyun knocks his shoulder against his. “Don't worry, the play will be coming up soon and you'll get busy.”
“Ugh, I could care less about the play.” Why can't he just get it? “I've been so patient, waiting for these feelings to go away, but dammit, Jjong, I still like him.” What he doesn't add is just how much he's seen him, like he's everywhere, and how badly it burns inside every time he catches Jinki quickly looking anywhere other than in his direction.
Understanding washes over Jonghyun. “Oh, wow, you haven't talked about him .. I didn't know you still … “
“No, just go back to your songs and love story. I can deal with this myself. Just act like I never said anything.”
Jonghyun flinches at the bitter cold lilt to the words. “I'm sorry I didn't notice, Kibum, but you've just been so distant, how was I suppose to know?”
A sniff escapes, Kibum bites down on the inside of his cheek to keep himself in line. “Whatever,” he manages to get out, then picks up his pace. He's determined to reach his home in half the usual time, to escape this … awkward conversation? Since when have things ever been awkward with Jonghyun?
“Kibum.” The call is faint, worn out, and Kibum knows that Jonghyun is close to giving up on him.
Good. Jonghyun can just get out of his life, too. He doesn't need anyone, Kibum can make it in this world by himself. He throws open the gate to his house and listens to it clang shut without any resistance, no one follows him inside. Good.
Rejection is hard, but not this hard. There has to be something more to this. Kibum can't explain it yet, but he knows something else is raging inside of him.
It doesn't hit him until dinner one night. “Look at our son, growing up,” his mother had commented softly, affectionately.
His fork dropped to his plate with a clatter. Was that … ?
“Jjong?”
Sleepy brown eyes bleakly meet his and he thinks the teen will fall off his bed at the height he jumped. Kibum grins at the utter shock written across Jonghyun's features. It's not everyday your best friend resurfaces at your bedside after weeks of zero contact.
“Kibum!” Jonghyun doesn't hesitate to shoot out of bed, tackle Kibum into a hug that screams what they both feel, but are too proud to say - “I missed you.”
Kibum finds himself content with studying, focusing on good grades, and occasionally going out with classmates on weekends. The routine is dull, but then he has the school play to vent all of his creative frustrations. Glitters, golds, shining reds are all a part of the set, costumes, and make up - the flashier, the more likely Kibum would choose to use it.
The past is immature drama to him now.
He's sitting in the library, glasses perched on his nose as he reads through one of his assigned novels and takes notes off to the side. His Calculus homework is spread out on the wood table he's occupying, temporarily pushed to the side for his sanity's sake.
“Mind if I sit here?”
Kibum peers up, over the rim of his glasses. That smile. “Of course not.”
“I'm Lee Jinki.”
“Kim Kibum.”
“Nice to meet you.”
They both smile, although Kibum doesn't feel like his lips are doing anything compared to the beaming grin across from him. Jinki's feelings bared to the world and it causes Kibum's heart to melt.
He'll have to make room for evening dates and math competitions in his schedule now.
Pairing: Onkey
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst, Fluff
Rating: PG-13 [Language]
Word Count: 4,558
Summary: Growing up isn't always the easiest thing to do.
A/N: For mcg_2nw , Merry Christmas, bb! Beta'd by eijifujiryoma , thanks as always, love!
“Who is that guy?”
Kibum plays nonchalant. He has no intention what-so-ever of allowing his gaggle of friends to know his true interest in their favorite cafe's counter boy. No, he merely wants to know who the baby faced employee is because he's dead bored. Not because the jerk totally ignored his flirtatious smile and wink.
Flipping a piece of perfect hair from her face, one of Kibum's closest friends, Nicole, smirks over at the boy talking easily to a customer. “You don't know who that is, Kibum?”
“Obviously not.”
She pulls the straw of her low-fat smoothie to her lips, eyes zeroing in on Kibum now. “He goes to school with us, he's a third year.”
Kibum's eyebrows shoot up. “A third year, really? I thought he was younger than us.” He catches himself sounding too interested, brushes down a loose strand of hair and shrugs. “How do you know him, Nicole?”
“He's, like, the sweetest guy in school,” cuts in Sulli.
“Yeah, and the president of every academic club,” Nicole adds, sending Sulli a disapproving look for interrupting. “Totally everyone's secret crush, they're all just too afraid to admit they like a nerd.” She giggles into her drink as Sulli's face turns bright red, the comment directed at her.
Kibum takes a sip of his latte, hums in thought. Without meaning to, he gets caught in a daze, staring at ... Wait. “What's his name?”
Nicole rolls her eyes. “Sulli, you must know.”
Ignoring the bitchy look and tone, Sulli smiles at Kibum. “His name is Jinki, but everyone calls him Onew.”
“Onew,” Kibum repeats, letting the word roll off his tongue like a drop of candy. Smooth.
He nods, that's the right name for someone like this Onew character. Hm. He'll have to look around school for him tomorrow, maybe bump into him …But then, Kibum's never been patient when it comes to getting what he wants.
“I'm going to get something to eat,” he announces, on his feet and strutting to the counter before the group can guilt him out of it.
“Oh, hello.” The words are curt, unfeeling, dull.
Kibum frowns. He just saw Onew talking so chipperly with the woman before him in line. “Hi, you're Onew right?”
Small almond eyes blink, caught off guard. “Yeah, I am. How'd you know?”
“Well, not because of your name tag.”
Onew jumps, looks down just as his hands fly to his chest. “Oh, no, I forgot it again.” He fumbles and feels around his pant's pockets before retrieving his name plaque. “I'm sorry, please don't report this. It was just a slip up - “
Daringly, Kibum reaches across the counter to place a finger lightly against Onew's delicious looking, feeling, lips. “I won't report you, I was only upset because I shouldn't have to ask around for a guy's name when he's as cute as you.”
“I - You - What?” Onew shakes his head, lightly pushes away Kibum's hand. “Did you want to order something?”
Kibum retracts his hand in astonishment. “You're joking?”
“Did you need a refill? Caramel latte, skim milk, right?”
“I - Nothing, no, never mind.”
In a huff, Kibum spins on his heels and stomps back to the table where his friends are seated. Nodding to the girls in departure, he picks up his brown leather satchel and makes to leave without a word.
“Wait, Kibum!” Nicole calls after him. “Where are you going?”
The door slams shut in reply, Kibum struts onto the street without a look back.. Nicole scoffs and turns to the other girls at the table with a look of utter disbelief.
“I can't believe he totally disregarded me!”
It's close to midnight and Kibum has been repeating the same phrase over and over again. His closest friend and secret keeper is sitting at the end of his enormous mattress, acoustic guitar propped up in his lap as he strums absently. It's a lucky thing for both of them that neither of their parents took the time to worry about their curfews, considering it was a school night.
“Jonghyun, are you listening?”
“I think I've got it,” the third year mutters, tongue poking out of his mouth as he takes the pencil from behind his ear and jots something down on a sheet of music.
Kibum flops dramatically across his bed. “I give up! I'm going to die old and lonely, and you don't even care! I hope your boyfriend enjoys that song, considering you're completely ignoring me for it.”
“What?”
Kibum glares at the back of the pretty brunette head. “You're not cute.”
Jonghyun stops writing, turns to him with a shit eating grin. “Minho thinks I am.”
“Well, good.” Kibum crosses his arms. “Just go to your gigantic boyfriend, leave me to wallow in my depression.”
Relenting, Jonghyun sets his guitar down gently before swiveling to face Kibum, sitting cross legged. “Look, Kibum, we've gone over this only about a million times tonight. So Jinki wasn't interested in you; that equals the end of the world?”
Arms flailing, Kibum's mouth opens and closes as he searches for a better way to word what Jonghyun has said, something that doesn't sound so vain. Damn him, always bringing Kibum crashing back to the reality when his head is up in the clouds.
“Okay, so maybe you're right.”
“Maybe?”
“But still!”
A warm hand smooths back his hair soothingly. “Just calm down. I'm sure he was just … in shock. Onew is kind of an awkward guy, he's not used to people like you.”
“People like me?” Kibum leans into the touch and takes a deep, settling breath.
“Well, you know, someone with a smoking hot bod and self confidence bursting through the roof.” Jonghyun laughs, prods Kibum in the side until he rolls onto his back. He absently starts working out the knots built up from an afternoon and evening of stressing. “How about this, I start laying some ground work for you? Onew's in a few of my classes.”
Kibum kicks his feet out in excitement. “Really?”
Jonghyun grins, flicks Kibum on the thigh before continuing the massage. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn't?”
“Well, you have been really busy with Minho lately … “
“Kibum,” Jonghyun warns.
Kibum lets his breath pass through pursed lips. “Right, right, best thing to ever happen to you. Sorry.”
Putting more force than necessary into rubbing Kibum's shoulders, Jonghyun jerks him around more than anything. “That's right, you'd better remember that. Besides, it's not like I've totally forgotten my needy best friend - I'm here now, aren't I?”
Despite all of his moaning and groaning, Kibum doesn't know where he'd be without Jonghyun. His laid back personality keeps him grounded amidst the sea all his other vain and self absorbed friends. Not that he doesn't enjoy that part of his social life, it gives him a thrill, but it doesn't beat just chilling and chatting with Jonghyun about anything and everything without the pressure and judging. He'd voice his thanks to Jonghyun but then their friendship isn't based on sappy feelings, so he keeps it to himself - he doesn't need to say it for Jonghyun to know it, anyway.
“So … Why are you even interested in Jinki?”
Kibum rests his chin on his arms, crossed over each other in front of him. “I don't know, honestly. There's just something about him.”
Jonghyun nods. “He's definitely not your type. Maybe you just want a taste of the nerdier side of life?”
“Maybe … “ Kibum stares hard at the wall, wishing he'd see answers instead of Jinki's chubby mug.
Two days. That's how long it takes for Jonghyun to get back to Kibum about Jinki. He's starting to feel antsy, like maybe he's better suited for the job and should just confront Jinki himself. Only a moment away from jumping up from his desk and tracking down the third year, Jonghyun struts into the room, uniform jacket slung over his shoulder. Kibum watches him, buzzing with expectancy.
“Well?” Kibum demands as soon as Jonghyun settles, sitting backwards on the chair in front of Kibum's desk.
Jonghyun scrubs a palm over his lower jaw, hums. “Have you ever heard of a first year named Taemin?”
“No … ?”
“I thought so.” Jonghyun diverts his eyes to the window. “I guess you tore into him pretty good at the beginning of the year when he accidentally spilled something on you at lunch?”
Kibum blinks, scrunches his nose. “Oh, I remember that kid. Ruined my pants!” He straightens his shirt. “But what does he have to with Jinki?”
“He's his friend.”
“Oh.” Shit.
Jonghyun stares him hard in the eyes. “Just give up on this guy.”
Kibum's lips move in awkward fish motions. “Why?” he finally settles on exclaiming.
“He's a loyal friend, okay?” Jonghyun shakes his head. “I've never seen him hold a grudge against anyone before … “
“Wait, no!” Kibum flounders and, god, he never flounders. “What can I do to make this better? Should I explain to Jinki that it was my favorite pair of slacks? I mean, I had them tailored to hug everything just right - “
With a snort, Jonghyun reaches forward to place a hand on Kibum's shoulder. “Making excuses won't work.”
“Then what can I do?” He's never felt this desperate before, all over this crazy crush.
Jonghyun sits back, crosses his arms. “Grovel for forgiveness from both Taemin and Jinki, pretty much make a complete idiot out of yourself.”
“What? No way!” Kibum protests vigorously, rising out of his chair. “I'll never!”
“Exactly. So forget about Jinki.”
Right, that's his only choice! Kibum sits back down, finality in his actions as he picks up his chop sticks to continue eating his lunch. Never will Kim Kibum lower himself to apologizing; all for something that was the kid's fault anyway! No, never in a million years. Besides, how could he live that down?
Jinki's lost his chance to be with the hottest guy in school, all for his stupid friendship.
Then why is he dragging Krystal to the cafe with him?
Maybe he just needs to make sure, hear the words directly from Jinki's mouth. Who knows, Jonghyun could have heard him wrong. Or maybe Kibum is just an infatuated teenager.
“Ugh,” he groans, stops just outside the door to the cafe. “I can't do this.”
Krystal raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow. “Do what?”
Kibum rubs his arm, peers in through the window inconspicuously. He's there, like always, serving a customer with well rehearsed finesse. He can't go in, but he can't not go in. What is with this Jinki guy?
“Never mind, come on.” Kibum grabs Krystal's arm and tugs her into the cafe without giving himself a chance to second guess his decision once again.
“Kibum, what - “
He doesn't hear his friend's complaints, dropping her at a table and promising to bring back her favorite drink. Kibum walks up to the counter with determined steps. He will not back down from .. from whatever magnetic force is attracting him to this total nerd. He'll convince Jinki to go on a date with him, to at least consider him, then get bored and throw him away - just like all the other guys. Perfect plan.
“Hello, Jinki.”
Jinki's smile dissipates. “Oh, hello. Back again? Would you like to try a new drink, or the same - “
“Are you interested in me?” Kibum curtly asks, cutting right to the point.
It takes a moment for the counter boy to recover from the bluntness of the statement. “I thought I already explained everything to Jonghyun,” he says meekly.
“So, what he said is true?” Kibum narrows his eyes. “You really aren't interested in me because of your friend?”
Jinki's face becomes set when Kibum brings up Taemin. Damn, he really is loyal. “Yes. Now, would you please order so I can attend to the rest of the customers?”
Looking over his shoulder, Kibum scowls at the line forming. “Fine. Two mocha lattes with skim milk - no cream.”
How dare he - Even to his face! Jinki prepares the order quickly and with expert grace. Kibum scoops them up, pays for them with his nose held high in the air. Fine, he doesn't need his approval anyway. He can live without Jinki.
Kibum sits in his room after school, stares at his ceiling without bothering to change out of his uniform. The crown molding is really gorgeous … He's studied every aspect of it for the past week. It only took three days for his phone to stop buzzing every five seconds, his friends getting the hint that he doesn't give a shit about whatever dirt they've unearthed. They're so immature, why did he even hang out with them in the first place?
A small sigh escapes his pink lips, chapped. He should probably get dinner. Or did he already have dinner? No, that dull ache in his stomach means he hasn't …
“Kibum!”
He doesn't blink, doesn't move at the familiar voice that calls down the hall in warning, just before the door is shoved open.
“There you are,” Jonghyun says, sounding like he's been running a marathon.
Kibum lazily directs his gaze towards his friend. “Yes, you've found me. What do you need?”
Pouncing onto the bed, Jonghyun straddles Kibum's waist. “I don't know what's gotten into you, but you're getting up. Now!”
Finding himself staring cross eyed at Jonghyun's finger, pointed directly at his forehead, Kibum frowns. “Why am I getting up?” he asks, voice dreary even to his own ears.
“You're getting out of this house.”
“For?”
“Are you really questioning me?”
Kibum rolls his eyes, won't argue because it takes too much energy. “Well, I can't very well get up if you're on me.”
Jonghyun looks down and his eyebrows raise ever so slightly with realization. He removes his legs from either side of Kibum until he settles down on the other side of Kibum's excessively large mattress. He motions with his brown, puppy eyes towards the closet. Kibum groans, lugs himself up with less than little enthusiasm.
“What should I wear?” he calls from the inside of the walk-in closet.
“Something ...not flashy.”
“Not flashy? So, boring?”
“Exactly.”
Kibum shrugs, pulls down a pair of tan slacks, a blue and white pin striped button down long sleeved shirt, and a navy blue sweater vest, red and white diamond patterns running down the front. Boring enough, but at the same time flattering. Brown loafers, and his attire is finished.
“Let's go,” he says, a sigh in his words.
Jonghyun grimaces. “Can you at least try and sound un-zombie-ish?”
Kibum stares at him, blinks.
“God, you're really lovesick, aren't you?” Jonghyun shakes his head in disbelief, slings an arm around Kibum's thin shoulders. “I have just the fix.”
“Jonghyun, you had better not - “
“Just follow my lead.”
A math competition. Jonghyun has brought him to math competition. Any other time, Kibum would be dashing out the door with his face hidden, not wanting to be caught dead at such a horrid event, but now all he can do is silently, resignedly, follow Jonghyun to the front of the school auditorium. They take seats beside some pretty auburn haired boy, but Kibum doesn't really linger long on that.
He feels completely unattached to the situation. Until he walks out on stage.
Kibum tries to shoot out of his seat the moment his eyes land on Jinki, but Jonghyun holds him down. “You bastard,” he growls, struggling against the stronger teenager.
“You aren't going anywhere,” Jonghyun states calmly, face serene. “You're going to face this. Look, Taemin's right next to you, why don't you apologize to him at the same time you cheer Jinki on?”
“Jonghyun,” Kibum says lowly, “I'm not making a fool out of myself.”
“What, because you aren't right now? Stop being a coward.”
The words sting. Kibum falls back into his seat just as the house lights dim, focus drawn on the stage. Jinki is sitting behind a long table with the rest of his math team, or whatever the hell, and there's a white board behind them. Across the stage are their opponents. None of them stand a chance, looks wise, to Jinki, that's painfully obvious.
Kibum watches Jinki, analyzes the way he moves and speaks assuredly after his critical gaze checks over his work. His team takes the lead quickly. But no matter what, Kibum can't bring himself to be interested in math.
“Taemin?” he whispers, leaning towards the pretty boy beside him.
Large brown eyes round on him and the boy almost instantly stiffens. “Oh. You.”
“Hey, I just wanted to say I'm really … I'm really … “ Kibum swallows, tries to will the word to just slip from his tongue, harmless.
Taemin's pouty lips form a thin line. “You're what? A complete asshole? Yeah, already got that.”
Kibum rubs his neck. “I'm .. sorry.”
“What?”
Shutting his eyes, forcing himself to breath deeply, Kibum repeats,” I'm sorry.”
“You're … really?” He barely knows this kid, but Taemin's expression tells Kibum all he needs to know about the image of himself - too proud to say 'sorry.'
Kibum's tongue darts out, moistens his dry lips. “Yeah, really, I am.”
Taemin sits back in his chair, eyes never leaving Kibum's face. “Huh.”
“Huh?”
“You must really have the hots for Jinki.”
“W-what?” Kibum splutters, a light blush ghosting over his milky white skin.
Taemin smirks, mischievous. “I know everything. Like how Jinki won't even talk to you because of what you did to me.”
What a bitch. Kibum can already sense a growing fondness for this kid. “So .. Do you forgive me?”
“Yeah, sure,” Taemin says with a shrug, “Won't change Jinki's opinion of you.”
Kibum feels like falling over. “Why?” he asks, exasperation evident.
“He doesn't like what you and your friends stand for. All of the judging and gossiping and destruction of other people's lives. Yeah, pretty much goes against every single one of his morals.”
He can feel his heart drop way into his stomach as he murmurs a barely audible “oh.” He should have seen this coming, should have known … But no, his head was too far up his ass. Kibum rises to his feet and slips past Jonghyun before he can be stopped. God, he's such a complete idiot.
He's outside in the biting chill of fall, auditorium left behind, before he feels the presence at his side.
“What?” he croaks, fighting back emotion.
Taemin looks up at him, gaze scrutinizing. “Are you really .. shocked, finding that out? You couldn't have thought people actually approved of what you do.”
“Don't you think I know that,” Kibum snaps, then shivers from the cold and wraps his arms around himself.
“Then why are you so upset?” Taemin continues to prod.
Kibum stares up at the night sky, overcast. Gorgeous. “I don't know, maybe because it's been at the back of my mind this whole week. That something, someone, I really want, I can't have because of everything I do for temporary thrills.” He can't believe he's actually talking to this first year about this. It's probably going to be spread around the school by the morning, that he's a sappy moron.
“But you can't really regret everything you've done?”
“No, I don't. But I want to, I want to feel the same way about it as … well, Jinki. It has to be right.”
“Why do you like Jinki so much?”
Kibum's lips quiver. He sounds crazy, insane. He doesn't even know Jinki, yet he's out here resolving to change for him. “Honestly, I have no idea. It's not love at first sight or some shit like that, I'm not reckless. There's just something about him that draws me in.”
“His sincerity?” Taemin's brow is quirked in question.
Looking down at him, Kibum considers his words. Sincerity, something his life lacked. Possibly, maybe …
“Kibum!”
Jonghyun runs up to the two, panting. Kibum takes him in with a bored expression, any traces of a deep conversation gone.
“It took you this long to find me?” he asks, amused.
“Hey, that was kind of interesting!” Jonghyun protests, “It took me a minute to realize you left.”
Brushing a piece of lint off his friend's shirt, Kibum snorts. “Right, you were so into the competition you didn't notice - or maybe the rack on the judge?”
“I - You - No!” Jonghyun stutters, waves his arms in the air frantically.
Taemin snickers. “Well, I better get back inside,” he says, waves, and Kibum finds himself compelled to wave back.
“You can't tell Minho - “
Kibum pats Jonghyun's head. “Yeah, yeah, c'mon, your secret will die with me.”
Time passes slowly when one isn't out to know every detail of every person's life in school. Kibum has time to do tasks once pushed aside - like homework. His parents are practically buzzing around him, all beaming smiles and kind words towards his new found dedication to school work. “Our studious son” they're now able to gush. Kibum can't say it's a bad feeling to know he's making his parents proud. Almost makes him warm and fuzzy inside.
But it's not enough.
Kibum tosses and turns at night, sleep evading him despite the amount of brain energy he's used. He even resorted to running on the treadmill, in hopes to tire himself out physically as well as mentally, but only find himself tired and sore in the morning.
The biggest adjustment he's had to make is going from the very tip-top of the school food chain, to nearly that of an average, no-name student. He doesn't sit alone at lunch, but he also doesn't have people begging to sit with him, to just be seen once by his side. Kibum finds himself yearning to be back with his old group - has Junhee officially announced her pregnancy yet? Everyone knows Junsu knocked her up - but he quickly snaps himself out of it and moves on to a different thought, a distraction.
That distraction normally consisting of a certain third year with a baby face and swoon-worthy smile.
“Jonghyun, I don't think I can handle this anymore,” Kibum relents while walking from school on a particularly slow, uneventful day.
“Is being normal that hard for you?”
“Yes! I have nothing to do!”
Jonghyun knocks his shoulder against his. “Don't worry, the play will be coming up soon and you'll get busy.”
“Ugh, I could care less about the play.” Why can't he just get it? “I've been so patient, waiting for these feelings to go away, but dammit, Jjong, I still like him.” What he doesn't add is just how much he's seen him, like he's everywhere, and how badly it burns inside every time he catches Jinki quickly looking anywhere other than in his direction.
Understanding washes over Jonghyun. “Oh, wow, you haven't talked about him .. I didn't know you still … “
“No, just go back to your songs and love story. I can deal with this myself. Just act like I never said anything.”
Jonghyun flinches at the bitter cold lilt to the words. “I'm sorry I didn't notice, Kibum, but you've just been so distant, how was I suppose to know?”
A sniff escapes, Kibum bites down on the inside of his cheek to keep himself in line. “Whatever,” he manages to get out, then picks up his pace. He's determined to reach his home in half the usual time, to escape this … awkward conversation? Since when have things ever been awkward with Jonghyun?
“Kibum.” The call is faint, worn out, and Kibum knows that Jonghyun is close to giving up on him.
Good. Jonghyun can just get out of his life, too. He doesn't need anyone, Kibum can make it in this world by himself. He throws open the gate to his house and listens to it clang shut without any resistance, no one follows him inside. Good.
Rejection is hard, but not this hard. There has to be something more to this. Kibum can't explain it yet, but he knows something else is raging inside of him.
It doesn't hit him until dinner one night. “Look at our son, growing up,” his mother had commented softly, affectionately.
His fork dropped to his plate with a clatter. Was that … ?
“Jjong?”
Sleepy brown eyes bleakly meet his and he thinks the teen will fall off his bed at the height he jumped. Kibum grins at the utter shock written across Jonghyun's features. It's not everyday your best friend resurfaces at your bedside after weeks of zero contact.
“Kibum!” Jonghyun doesn't hesitate to shoot out of bed, tackle Kibum into a hug that screams what they both feel, but are too proud to say - “I missed you.”
Kibum finds himself content with studying, focusing on good grades, and occasionally going out with classmates on weekends. The routine is dull, but then he has the school play to vent all of his creative frustrations. Glitters, golds, shining reds are all a part of the set, costumes, and make up - the flashier, the more likely Kibum would choose to use it.
The past is immature drama to him now.
He's sitting in the library, glasses perched on his nose as he reads through one of his assigned novels and takes notes off to the side. His Calculus homework is spread out on the wood table he's occupying, temporarily pushed to the side for his sanity's sake.
“Mind if I sit here?”
Kibum peers up, over the rim of his glasses. That smile. “Of course not.”
“I'm Lee Jinki.”
“Kim Kibum.”
“Nice to meet you.”
They both smile, although Kibum doesn't feel like his lips are doing anything compared to the beaming grin across from him. Jinki's feelings bared to the world and it causes Kibum's heart to melt.
He'll have to make room for evening dates and math competitions in his schedule now.