Oy Vey! It's been such a long time, things have been so farkatke! I've been getting all verklempt. I mean, I don't want to sound like such a kvetsh, but boy do I have a megile to tell you! First, I found out that I'm a mamzer and a shikse, but then someone else told me that I was a shkotz. If you ask me, that's mishigas. I was invited to a party,
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