Title: Absnc Mks <3 Grw Fndr
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: John/Sherlock
Notes:Written for
angela_weber for Five Acts, Round 3.
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Friday
Don’t bother rushing through security. Flight will be delayed at least twenty minutes.
-SH
Maybe if someone had let me get dressed when I wanted to, I wouldn’t be running late.
Next time you can leave clothes on. Exception: no jumpers in bed.
-SH
You prat! The board says the flight’s on time!
Wait for it.
-SH
If I miss this flight, I’m telling Harry it’s your fault.
Wait.
-SH
Okay. Fine. How did you know before the airline even posted it?
Watching weather radar. Also, two baggage handlers in terminal didn’t show up for work this morning. Consequences obvious.
-SH
Buy copy of Guardian before boarding. Send crossword clue sixteen across.
-SH
”Control the proceedings.” Boarding’s starting.
No good. Send sixteen down.
-SH
No need to actually turn off phone in flight. No meaningful contribution to safety.
-SH
A man’s life depends on this crossword clue.
-SH
The flight landed twenty minutes ago.
-SH
A taxi ride cannot possibly take an hour, even in that traffic.
-SH
Exchanging pleasantries with your sister not more important than this case.
-SH
You are being deliberately difficult.
-SH
”To annoy one’s friend while on holiday.”
That is not the clue, John.
-SH
”Measurement based on the length of the forearm.”
Remind me next week: write letter to Guardian addressing inconsistencies in crossword solutions.
-SH
This had better not be the reason you asked for those clues.
You do have an actual case on, don’t you?
Tell Harry comments on my website not appreciated.
-SH
Saturday
Clara and Harry taking me to the Marais. You need me to pick up anything?
One jade pin.
-SH
Is that a joke?
Will have Mycroft wire you nine million pounds.
-SH
Will not be wiring you nine million pounds.
-MH
Cavities put Mycroft in foul mood.
-SH
Harry wants me to buy new wallpaper for the flat.
Do not discuss interior decorating with your sister.
-SH
How about something in a beige?
Wallpaper does not need replacing.
-SH
Some of these boutiques have lovely wallpaper with tasteful patterns.
Why did you give your sister my number?
-SH
You put it on your website, Mr. Detective.
What, you send him a dozen texts an hour and can’t reply to one of mine?
Will be at the Yard for duration of afternoon. Prevent your sister from causing unnecessary distractions. Important case.
-SH
Definitely a beige.
Sunday
Wallpaper’s being shipped. Don’t destroy any packages that arrive.
How’s the case?
Anything I can do to help?
Are you working, or have you been kidnapped?
If I haven’t heard from you in thirty minutes, I’m calling Lestrade.
Am alive.
-SH
Do not worry me like that. This holiday is meant to be relaxing.
Problems with the case?
Sherlock.
For all I know, you have been kidnapped, and someone else sent that last text.
Harry made you buy wallpaper because she figured out you’re sleeping with me.
-SH
Fine. You’ve not been kidnapped. Forget the wallpaper. And she didn’t have to figure it out. I told her.
Do you mind that I told her?
Pick up the phone.
Or sulk.
What’s incubation period for Dengue fever?
-SH
3 to 14 days.
Tell me you’re not sick.
I am not sick. Tell Harry whatever you like.
-SH
Crossword clues turned out to be instrumental in solving case.
-SH
Is that a thank you?
That restaurant she took you to mislabels some wines. Tell Harry to order the ’86 instead.
-SH
She can’t tell the difference. It doesn’t matter.
You prefer oaky wines. You’ll enjoy the ’86 more.
-SH
Thanks.
Monday
*Ring. Ring. Ring.*
“Hello?”
“John.”
“Are you calling me? Is this an actual phone call?”
“Unless I’m mistaken, yes.”
“What’s happened?”
“Nothing. I solved the case at eight yesterday evening. Lestrade hasn’t brought me anything since.”
“Yes, well it’s only, what, ten in the morning? There’s time, still.”
“I need something to occupy me until your flight arrives.”
“You could start taking down the old wallpaper.”
“I said something to occupy me, not something to move me to violence, John.”
“Then I can’t help you. I’ll be home by two, if the flight’s not delayed.”
“No evidence it will be.”
“…Did you need something?”
“No.”
*Click*
--
You were right. Flight’s listed as on time. See you soon.
Good.
-SH
I missed you.
-SH
I know. I’ve got quite good at reading your texts.