Comments | brightedelweiss: fic; like sifting through sand

brightedelweiss

fic; like sifting through sand

Feb 04, 2010 10:57

Title Life Sifting Through Sand
Author brightedelweiss
Words 4088
Rating PG-13
Summary This is the life of Leland Ambrose and Jack Phillips, who've known been best friends since the age of five and just happen to have dreams of two people named Merlin and Arthur.

Notes I just need to thank burningqueen and latenightcuppa for beta-ing this and giving me encouragements and telling me what ( Read more... )

tv: merlin, fiction

Comments 37

otakuangel February 4 2010, 16:55:28 UTC

I liked this a lot. Very sweet. I think Jack giving Leland's name the same intonation as Arthuer gave Merlin's was a fantastic detail.

I really, really hope you choose to write more in this 'verse. Well done!

brightedelweiss February 4 2010, 20:46:38 UTC

Thank you! I couldn't help myself in that moment. It seemed to fit all too perfectly.

I'll have to think up of something else for it, because I absolutely adore Jack and Lee (and Merlin and Arthur).

burningqueen February 4 2010, 17:52:46 UTC

So I've read this like twenty times so I HAVE STUFF TO SAY ABOUT IT. LET ME TELL YOU ALL THE THINGS I ABSOLUTELY ADORE ABOUT THIS STORY. Because there are so many tiny details here that just bring it from a good fic to a wonderful fic.

The five year old versions of Lee and Jack are fantastic depictions of life as a child, the way everything seems to be so life or death and they swing from everything fabulous to everything horrible so quickly. And they are keysmash inducing adorable. And Arthur's mom censoring herself in front of Arthur! And this: “I’m Leland!” He says excitedly and turns his whole body around to look at the boy. ;dstj;igbiqugyeog3 TURNING HIS WHOLE BODY, it's so perfect ( ... )

brightedelweiss February 4 2010, 20:50:45 UTC

Ah Celeste I don't even know how to respond to this! There's just so much.

I'm glad I've gotten the children and the growing adults right. I think that a lot of the time people forget just how clever little kids are or what little things they pick up on that we miss, and the rapid changes in their attitudes towards anything, and how quickly they move. So I wanted tog et that.

POND HOCKEY. THE CRAZY THING IS that I've never actually played pond hockey *shifty eyes* but my dad talks about playing it when he was little and a bunch of people have started it back up again in our town...so it's been on the mind. BUT IT IS DEFINITELY something that's ingrained in New England...outdoor winter sports and all.

*snugs* ily, Celeste. Perhaps there will be more....there seems to be a request for it. WE WILL SEE.

burningqueen February 4 2010, 22:20:48 UTC

Okay first of all I just almost fell over backwards leaning back on this chair. IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.

And second of all, wow, I didn't get a notification email about this. HMMM.

I feel like I cannot possibly flail over this anymore but yes yes yes I SEE THE PEOPLE ASKING FOR MORE IN THIS VERSE. I'm not going to do that because I like where you've ended it and I know you have other ideas you're thinking about as well (coughcough LEGENDARY coughcough) but I would not be opposed to seeing more of Jack and Lee.

1bacchanalian February 4 2010, 18:11:57 UTC

This was gorgeous. ♥ I especially liked the introduction. You did a wonderful job setting the tone, and showing how Jack and Lee's innocent, simple friendship is interwoven with memories of something bigger than just them. ♥ ♥

brightedelweiss February 4 2010, 20:51:42 UTC

Thank you! I think a lot of people forget how simple friendship can be but also how complicated it can be as well. Add in reincarnation and memories and, well...

moonlitpines February 4 2010, 18:37:59 UTC

I really loved this and the idea that they're discussing whether or not this has bigger implications or if it's simply another part of who they are. Lee's insistence that Jack be just *Jack* was particularly well done. Thank you for sharing!

brightedelweiss February 4 2010, 20:54:47 UTC

I'm glad. I think the sense of not knowing exactly who they are, or why they have the memories is something really important, because by all measures they're not from particularly influential or affluential backgrounds. I wanted to make it so that they could be Lee and Jack but also Merlin and Arthur BUT ALSO so that making distinctions between both pairs is almost impossible.

etheriaelle February 4 2010, 18:56:28 UTC

Bravo! You captured the essence of Merlin and Arthur in a modern AU. Usually when I read present day stuff I get Merlin/Arthur confused with Colin/Bradley. True, the actors do seem very much like the characters they play but still I can never remember if I am reading AU or RPF without the names to guide me. This, though just felt like Merlin and Arthur even with the 'wrong' names so there was no confusion at all. Very well done.

brightedelweiss February 4 2010, 20:56:33 UTC

Thank you for posting this here (first off). And thank you so much for this. I didn't want to give them the same names, because, I suppose, if you look realistically a the possibility of reincarnation the chance that you would be reincarnated with the exact same name is pretty slim, to be reincarnated in the same circumstances would be even stranger. But I'm glad I got the essence, I think that's very important.