Wow, that's pretty incredible. I like the dream interpretations that make you explore yourself, instead of the "chocolate chip cookie = sex" interpretations. This dream and it's interpretations certainly got you to explore
( ... )
Not at all =) It's very true that W is being a lot more understanding about his father cheating on his mother. He's a lot more understanding to the fact that his father was a highschool dropout and never had a real job, so "he doesn't get it that you're such an achiever". But I just see red.
Wow, it sounds like you're having a rough time. *hugs* I'm not going to offer advice because I can't even imagine what your situation must be like to live. All I can do is hope that something happens and that something makes it better.
I don't know much about dreams, I've never had any success at interpreting mine- even in hindsight. However, I do find that nightmares give a safe context to explore unsatisfactory aspects of our lives. I hope you do get some resolution. I wish I could be more help- but in my experience, one usually already knows what they need to do. I hope you are just having a bad couple of nights, in contrast to an otherwise glorious life.
*hugs* I know... and I feel bad unloading on my friends. PJ asked me why I didn't just post Friends Only, and I said that it wouldn't be fair that my friends get burdened with all the negativity that they really can't help me with.
I admire how you are in tune and tackle analyzing your dreams -- I used to be so confused/traumatized by mine that I just took them literally -- knowing that how I felt was entirely different.
I'm also comfortable in my isolated state. I am safe, comfortable and provided for, both my physical and emotional needs, here in the prison of my own existence. I want to get out, but that would mean giving up whatever "luxuries" or positive aspects were associated with it. Oh how I hear you here ... an isolated state is such a cocoon. Although a safe place, it can also limit emotional growth because everything remains status quo. It's a frightening place to be, wanting to change but fearful of what that may bring. In the long term, I don't see it as a matter of giving up luxuries but a compromise: having the best of both worlds. The luxuries of knowing and experiencing what that isolation of one's own existence, the independence can be like (a lot of people in this world just can't
( ... )
The luxuries of knowing and experiencing what that isolation of one's own existence, the independence can be like (a lot of people in this world just can't manage when they are left alone).
Independent, self-sufficient and strong... strong enough to be ignored.
That's why I want to get back into volunteering... to meet new people, learn/do new things and keep my mind off being emotionally homeless. =}
whew that was quite the entry. I'm sorry you are feeling down. It is frustrating when one can't choose family the way one chooses friends.
Your second to last paragraph really struck a chord in me. No where to feel at home. I was in a very bad roommate situation once where I felt like that. I didn't feel comfortable in my own room, studied elsewhere, and even slept elsewhere if I could help it. I had expressed my frustration to my roommate, but not nearly enough, cause she kept doing all the things that made me uncomfortable.
True, that situation is much simpler than yours. I had the luxury of being able to move out after awhile and washing my hands of her rather easily.
Would more communication on the subject help, all the same?
Would more communication on the subject help, all the same?
See, this is what I'm not sure of either... does talking about it help? or does it just make me remember everything in such vivid detail that I end up dwelling on it?
does talking about it help? or does it just make me remember everything in such vivid detail that I end up dwelling on it?
well.... have you expressed all aspects of your frustration, and why you feel this way to your husband? If you've already told him what you've just told us, then perhaps he needs to hear it in a different way?
As for dwelling on a tender subject, it would seem to me that one dwells on bad things because they are unresolved in some manner... in which case I suppose you're bound to dwell on the subject for now, whether you talk to him about it or not. And you're more likely to resolve the issue if you talk about it with him, right?
Oh, I thought you meant "communication" as in, with others (ie. a counsellor/therapist or someone).
Yes, he and I have been talking. It's been 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. So, in general, we're moving forward. It's just that the 2 steps back can really hurt, that's all.
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Not at all =) It's very true that W is being a lot more understanding about his father cheating on his mother. He's a lot more understanding to the fact that his father was a highschool dropout and never had a real job, so "he doesn't get it that you're such an achiever". But I just see red.
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I don't know much about dreams, I've never had any success at interpreting mine- even in hindsight. However, I do find that nightmares give a safe context to explore unsatisfactory aspects of our lives. I hope you do get some resolution. I wish I could be more help- but in my experience, one usually already knows what they need to do. I hope you are just having a bad couple of nights, in contrast to an otherwise glorious life.
Please keep me informed, I do care.
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I admire how you are in tune and tackle analyzing your dreams -- I used to be so confused/traumatized by mine that I just took them literally -- knowing that how I felt was entirely different.
I'm also comfortable in my isolated state. I am safe, comfortable and provided for, both my physical and emotional needs, here in the prison of my own existence. I want to get out, but that would mean giving up whatever "luxuries" or positive aspects were associated with it. Oh how I hear you here ... an isolated state is such a cocoon. Although a safe place, it can also limit emotional growth because everything remains status quo. It's a frightening place to be, wanting to change but fearful of what that may bring. In the long term, I don't see it as a matter of giving up luxuries but a compromise: having the best of both worlds. The luxuries of knowing and experiencing what that isolation of one's own existence, the independence can be like (a lot of people in this world just can't ( ... )
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The luxuries of knowing and experiencing what that isolation of one's own existence, the independence can be like (a lot of people in this world just can't manage when they are left alone).
Independent, self-sufficient and strong... strong enough to be ignored.
That's why I want to get back into volunteering... to meet new people, learn/do new things and keep my mind off being emotionally homeless. =}
Reply
Your second to last paragraph really struck a chord in me. No where to feel at home. I was in a very bad roommate situation once where I felt like that. I didn't feel comfortable in my own room, studied elsewhere, and even slept elsewhere if I could help it. I had expressed my frustration to my roommate, but not nearly enough, cause she kept doing all the things that made me uncomfortable.
True, that situation is much simpler than yours. I had the luxury of being able to move out after awhile and washing my hands of her rather easily.
Would more communication on the subject help, all the same?
Reply
Would more communication on the subject help, all the same?
See, this is what I'm not sure of either... does talking about it help? or does it just make me remember everything in such vivid detail that I end up dwelling on it?
Reply
well.... have you expressed all aspects of your frustration, and why you feel this way to your husband? If you've already told him what you've just told us, then perhaps he needs to hear it in a different way?
As for dwelling on a tender subject, it would seem to me that one dwells on bad things because they are unresolved in some manner... in which case I suppose you're bound to dwell on the subject for now, whether you talk to him about it or not. And you're more likely to resolve the issue if you talk about it with him, right?
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Yes, he and I have been talking. It's been 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. So, in general, we're moving forward. It's just that the 2 steps back can really hurt, that's all.
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