(no subject)
Title: I'll Still Come to You with Coffee
Author: cecism
Fandom: Private Practice
Characters: Cooper/Violet
Prompt: #3 - This cancels out the hurt @ un_love_you
Word Count: 1,393
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.
Author’s Notes: I’ve always adored Cooper, but lately he’s been a bit of a dick towards Violet. I hate that, so I guess this is trying to rectify his character slightly? (Post-2x02.)
"Thanks for coming in, I’ll see you next week." Violet smiled as she shook her departing patient’s hand, leaning slightly against her office doorway as she watched him walk towards the elevator.
From nowhere, Cooper appeared in front of her holding a frappuccino. Without waiting for her to invite him in (he wasn’t expecting that to happen, in all honesty) he pushed his way past her into her office.
Violet’s face instantly furrowed as she saw she had little choice but to follow him inside, shutting the door behind her.
"I made sure they sprinkled the cinnamon on top," he said helpfully, gesturing towards the plastic cup. It was a sign that he was making an extra effort to call it truce, but she wasn’t as appreciative as she normally would have been. There was a small pang that he knew exactly how she liked her order, but she ignored it.
Violet retreated behind her desk, sitting down. "I can see that." She waited, not touching the drink.
She was going to be difficult, he realised. "I’ve barely seen you in three days," he remarked. It had felt unbalanced, because even when she was mad at him she’d yell. Or complain, or argue. She never outright ignored him.
She shrugged impassively. "I’ve been busy."
"Right. The extra patients." He awkwardly sat down in the chair opposite; it felt foreign. He’d never sat in it. All the other times he’d sunk into her comfortable psychiatrist’s couch, and more often than not, she’d join him.
"So I was thinking," he began, "when I told you the other day about... well, you know, Charlotte - you didn’t act surprised."
"Were you waiting for some big reaction from me?" she asked flatly.
He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "No. Well, kind of... no. But I expected something."
"I’m sorry to disappoint you."
"That’s not why I’m here. Why weren’t you surprised?" he questioned.
For the first time, Violet looked restless, not wanting to deal with this right now. "Because I’d already figured it out."
"You did?" He pursed his lips uncertainly as though he’d just swallowed something sour. "How?"
"I added two and two and got four, Cooper."
"Oh." He cast his mind backwards to earlier that day: the demanding of the truth, the expectant glare over Sam’s shoulder, the not-so-subtle hints of not lying to people you care for. She’d known all along, and not called him up on it.
He continued: "I know it’s not going to make an ounce of difference, but I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I wanted to - well, no," he corrected himself, "I didn’t want to. Which is why I’m apologising. For not telling you like I should have."
"No, you’re right," she replied without a flicker of emotion crossing her face, which in itself was highly unusual. "We’re not joined at the hip. We’re not twelve. You don’t have to tell me everything."
"But that’s what we do," he said emphatically. "And I didn’t, and I’m sorry." She didn’t say anything, so he felt he should continue. He wasn’t done quite yet. "So what do you think?"
"Of Charlotte King?" she asked rhetorically. "I don’t think. You can see whoever you want to."
"That’s not what I’m asking."
Violet looked down at her hands folded on top of her desk. "I don’t think she’s any better than any of the other girls you’ve hooked up with in the last year."
Well, at least she was being honest, he thought.
"Cooper, why are you here?"
He gave her an earnest look. "I’m sick of Naomi and Addison not talking. I’m sick of Naomi and Sam not talking, either. And I’m sick of not being able to talk to you."
"Funny, that," she said, her tone edgy with sarcasm.
He shook his head. "I couldn’t tell you, Violet! She wouldn’t let me." Even as he said it, he realised how weak the excuse sounded. Why did it appear to be such an ultimatum when in the same room as Charlotte, and yet seem as thin as tissue paper when spoken to Violet?
"You’ve never listened to Charlotte King in the past," she pointed out.
"I know. But I couldn’t bear to make her mad - really mad," he replied. So he made his best friend mad instead. What kind of person did that? He pushed that thought aside. "And she’s mad at me now for telling you."
Violet’s face remained unreadable, and he hated that, although he could hardly expect her to be instantly forgiving with the knowledge that Charlotte was now also pissed off.
"I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not going to do that to you again," he added.
It was Violet’s turn to shake her head. "I don’t need to hear that from you. Because if this has taught me something, it’s that I’m too dependant on others to be there for me."
"I am -"
She held a hand up to silence his protest. "I’m learning to make my own way now. So I think I need to keep on learning that."
"Okay." Cooper nodded resignedly. "But there’s going to be a time when I need someone there, too. It’s not going to be Charlotte. I don’t want to be maybe-in love with her because I know it’s not right by anyone. I know," he repeated for emphasis, and his face showed irritation at himself. "But it’s just one of those things; I can’t help it."
She heaved a sigh. "What do you want from me, Coop?"
"I know you’re mad. You can be mad, I get that. But I need you to stop being mad at some point. A day, a week, whatever." Cooper looked at her from across the desk. "I can’t stand the thought of it being permanent."
"Cooper..." she trailed off, looking tired, the fight draining out of her. "I’m not mad. I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed because you looked me in the eye and lied to me, and I’ve never, ever done that to you."
"I know." He toyed with his words; an apology wasn’t going to suffice right now. "But I don’t want this to mean I can’t talk to you anymore. You and Charlotte aren’t mutually exclusive. I’m not just going to shut you out because of her."
A part of her softened at his words, but she reminded herself that this was her time to find her way without having run to Cooper first. She needed to look after herself. Cooper would just have to cope with that as a consequence.
Yet the psychiatrist side of her could see where he was stuck, even if she didn’t agree with it. Of course she didn’t agree with it, an subjective view or not. She’d given him opportunities to tell her. He’d ignored them. But she couldn’t be mad at him for it because this was Cooper, and he was always going to make bad judgements and regret them later. She knew that, because she knew him.
"And I’m sorry," he added belatedly, but she knew it wasn’t because it was offhanded, but rather that it had seemed feeble to say it before.
"I know you are."
They were on even ground. He knew he still needed her; she knew it too. But he had to cope without her for a while, and she didn’t feel particularly bad about that. They were growing. Maybe they both needed that more than each other right now.
She looked back at him, not particularly wanting to say anything more. He took the hint and stood up.
"So we’re good?"
For the very first time, Violet didn’t given the affirmative reassurance as was tradition.
"No, Cooper," she said with another shake of her head, "we’re not. But I think we’re getting there."
The corners of his mouth twitched; it wasn’t a smile, but it was a glimmer of something. That seemed to be enough for him, and so he turned around and left her office.
She stretched her arm out and reached over for the frappuccino. It wasn’t good for her, she knew, and the cream and cinnamon had mostly disintegrated into the liquid leaving her with a drink that didn’t look as appetising as it once did. But some things you just couldn’t help but turn to anyway, no matter how imperfect they were.
Author: cecism
Fandom: Private Practice
Characters: Cooper/Violet
Prompt: #3 - This cancels out the hurt @ un_love_you
Word Count: 1,393
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.
Author’s Notes: I’ve always adored Cooper, but lately he’s been a bit of a dick towards Violet. I hate that, so I guess this is trying to rectify his character slightly? (Post-2x02.)
"Thanks for coming in, I’ll see you next week." Violet smiled as she shook her departing patient’s hand, leaning slightly against her office doorway as she watched him walk towards the elevator.
From nowhere, Cooper appeared in front of her holding a frappuccino. Without waiting for her to invite him in (he wasn’t expecting that to happen, in all honesty) he pushed his way past her into her office.
Violet’s face instantly furrowed as she saw she had little choice but to follow him inside, shutting the door behind her.
"I made sure they sprinkled the cinnamon on top," he said helpfully, gesturing towards the plastic cup. It was a sign that he was making an extra effort to call it truce, but she wasn’t as appreciative as she normally would have been. There was a small pang that he knew exactly how she liked her order, but she ignored it.
Violet retreated behind her desk, sitting down. "I can see that." She waited, not touching the drink.
She was going to be difficult, he realised. "I’ve barely seen you in three days," he remarked. It had felt unbalanced, because even when she was mad at him she’d yell. Or complain, or argue. She never outright ignored him.
She shrugged impassively. "I’ve been busy."
"Right. The extra patients." He awkwardly sat down in the chair opposite; it felt foreign. He’d never sat in it. All the other times he’d sunk into her comfortable psychiatrist’s couch, and more often than not, she’d join him.
"So I was thinking," he began, "when I told you the other day about... well, you know, Charlotte - you didn’t act surprised."
"Were you waiting for some big reaction from me?" she asked flatly.
He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "No. Well, kind of... no. But I expected something."
"I’m sorry to disappoint you."
"That’s not why I’m here. Why weren’t you surprised?" he questioned.
For the first time, Violet looked restless, not wanting to deal with this right now. "Because I’d already figured it out."
"You did?" He pursed his lips uncertainly as though he’d just swallowed something sour. "How?"
"I added two and two and got four, Cooper."
"Oh." He cast his mind backwards to earlier that day: the demanding of the truth, the expectant glare over Sam’s shoulder, the not-so-subtle hints of not lying to people you care for. She’d known all along, and not called him up on it.
He continued: "I know it’s not going to make an ounce of difference, but I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I wanted to - well, no," he corrected himself, "I didn’t want to. Which is why I’m apologising. For not telling you like I should have."
"No, you’re right," she replied without a flicker of emotion crossing her face, which in itself was highly unusual. "We’re not joined at the hip. We’re not twelve. You don’t have to tell me everything."
"But that’s what we do," he said emphatically. "And I didn’t, and I’m sorry." She didn’t say anything, so he felt he should continue. He wasn’t done quite yet. "So what do you think?"
"Of Charlotte King?" she asked rhetorically. "I don’t think. You can see whoever you want to."
"That’s not what I’m asking."
Violet looked down at her hands folded on top of her desk. "I don’t think she’s any better than any of the other girls you’ve hooked up with in the last year."
Well, at least she was being honest, he thought.
"Cooper, why are you here?"
He gave her an earnest look. "I’m sick of Naomi and Addison not talking. I’m sick of Naomi and Sam not talking, either. And I’m sick of not being able to talk to you."
"Funny, that," she said, her tone edgy with sarcasm.
He shook his head. "I couldn’t tell you, Violet! She wouldn’t let me." Even as he said it, he realised how weak the excuse sounded. Why did it appear to be such an ultimatum when in the same room as Charlotte, and yet seem as thin as tissue paper when spoken to Violet?
"You’ve never listened to Charlotte King in the past," she pointed out.
"I know. But I couldn’t bear to make her mad - really mad," he replied. So he made his best friend mad instead. What kind of person did that? He pushed that thought aside. "And she’s mad at me now for telling you."
Violet’s face remained unreadable, and he hated that, although he could hardly expect her to be instantly forgiving with the knowledge that Charlotte was now also pissed off.
"I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not going to do that to you again," he added.
It was Violet’s turn to shake her head. "I don’t need to hear that from you. Because if this has taught me something, it’s that I’m too dependant on others to be there for me."
"I am -"
She held a hand up to silence his protest. "I’m learning to make my own way now. So I think I need to keep on learning that."
"Okay." Cooper nodded resignedly. "But there’s going to be a time when I need someone there, too. It’s not going to be Charlotte. I don’t want to be maybe-in love with her because I know it’s not right by anyone. I know," he repeated for emphasis, and his face showed irritation at himself. "But it’s just one of those things; I can’t help it."
She heaved a sigh. "What do you want from me, Coop?"
"I know you’re mad. You can be mad, I get that. But I need you to stop being mad at some point. A day, a week, whatever." Cooper looked at her from across the desk. "I can’t stand the thought of it being permanent."
"Cooper..." she trailed off, looking tired, the fight draining out of her. "I’m not mad. I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed because you looked me in the eye and lied to me, and I’ve never, ever done that to you."
"I know." He toyed with his words; an apology wasn’t going to suffice right now. "But I don’t want this to mean I can’t talk to you anymore. You and Charlotte aren’t mutually exclusive. I’m not just going to shut you out because of her."
A part of her softened at his words, but she reminded herself that this was her time to find her way without having run to Cooper first. She needed to look after herself. Cooper would just have to cope with that as a consequence.
Yet the psychiatrist side of her could see where he was stuck, even if she didn’t agree with it. Of course she didn’t agree with it, an subjective view or not. She’d given him opportunities to tell her. He’d ignored them. But she couldn’t be mad at him for it because this was Cooper, and he was always going to make bad judgements and regret them later. She knew that, because she knew him.
"And I’m sorry," he added belatedly, but she knew it wasn’t because it was offhanded, but rather that it had seemed feeble to say it before.
"I know you are."
They were on even ground. He knew he still needed her; she knew it too. But he had to cope without her for a while, and she didn’t feel particularly bad about that. They were growing. Maybe they both needed that more than each other right now.
She looked back at him, not particularly wanting to say anything more. He took the hint and stood up.
"So we’re good?"
For the very first time, Violet didn’t given the affirmative reassurance as was tradition.
"No, Cooper," she said with another shake of her head, "we’re not. But I think we’re getting there."
The corners of his mouth twitched; it wasn’t a smile, but it was a glimmer of something. That seemed to be enough for him, and so he turned around and left her office.
She stretched her arm out and reached over for the frappuccino. It wasn’t good for her, she knew, and the cream and cinnamon had mostly disintegrated into the liquid leaving her with a drink that didn’t look as appetising as it once did. But some things you just couldn’t help but turn to anyway, no matter how imperfect they were.