[public]

[breakthelock]

I know a lot about death, but it's not just because of how many people I loved that died before I came here.

It's also because I died. Twice.

And sometimes it's felt weird that I'm still here.

Comments

hngh.

[breakthelock]

Really didn't want to announce this to the world.

[allthesigns]

[... Ow. She has never asked about his life before the Rift, and somehow it's still a smack in the face to read.]

I guess it makes sense it would feel weird, but there has to be a reason you're still here.

I wish it hadn't made you announce it to the world.

[breakthelock]

[jrke;a sorry Sarah. ;;]

I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I wanted to tell you before. It's

The dream that woke me up that one night.

I don't regret being here at all. It's just

It feels weird sometimes. Not lately. I

The second time it was for awhile.

[breakthelock]

Sarah...

[breakthelock]

Are you okay?

[smokeblowsblack]

Sounds like one hell of a life you had there, son.

[breakthelock]

I think it's a Gilbert thing.

Right after I died the second time, I ended up here

[smokeblowsblack]

I'd hate to think that it is.

I can't begin to imagine what it's like, so I won't pretend to, but I think it's natural it'd feel weird sometimes. Can't say I'm not glad you're still around, though.

[breakthelock]

I'd like to think it wasn't.

I know. I'm really glad I'm still around too. It's just been better here for a lot of reasons.

locked }

[isaywe_party]

That feeling never really goes away, either.

locked }

[breakthelock]

You too?

That's not reassuring, but I'd rather have the truth anyway. How do you deal with it?

locked }

[isaywe_party]

Me too. Twice. The first time they revived me with CPR and it wasn't a big deal, but the second time ...

I was dead four months before they had the magic that they needed to revive me. They pulled me out of Heaven.

[there's a pause and maybe a few marks on the page from her pen before she continues]

Take it one day at a time is pretty much the only advice I can really give there. You're here for a reason. You were brought back for a reason. Focus on that, and it makes it a little easier.

locked }

[breakthelock]

Four months? Okay. Here I was thinking the like twenty minutes that it took me to come back the second time was a lot.

Why would

Four months is a long time to try to bring someone back. I'm sorry.

[he can't really imagine that. he wasn't dead long enough to get a sense for what being dead meant in his world. Or maybe he was, it was dark.]

Okay, thank you for the advice. It happened like six months ago now so I'm still adjusting. I'll try to keep that in mind.

[descendent]

The kind of weird you were telling me about before?

[breakthelock]

Yeah, it's not all the time.

It hasn't even been lately that I've felt like that. I feel like I fit here.

[descendent]

That's not what I'm worried about.

When you were brought back, you mentioned feeling different. I hate I wasn't there and there's so much I didn't live through with you.

[breakthelock]

I know. I'd tell you if it got worse.

Elena, it's fine. You were there. An Elena was there, and I wouldn't want you to have gone through that.