Long Road Home

[kaibosh]

-Title: Long Road Home
-Author: kaibosh
-Rating: FRM (I'm pretty sure?  Let me know if it needs to be higher)
-Ship: Teenage Lloyd/Random girl
-Warnings: Sexual situations, minor use of bad language
-Summary: Everybody's got to lose it somehow, Lloyd thinks.
-Disclaimer: I don't own Breakout Kings or anything related to it, and I'm making no money off

Comments

[guiltyreasons]

I found myself really liking this. Especially the part where he starts overanalysing the girl. The bit with his mother at the end was great too. It's all so gritty in I way I can't help loving.

[kaibosh]

Thank you so much :D I was happy with the way the ending turned out, I love looking at the effect Lloyd's mum has had on him :3

[claro3]

That was excellent, excellent writing. Just, good all over. I adore your characterization! Okay, your Lloyd makes me a little uncomfortable, but in that strange, believable way only a well-written character can. So, I totally enjoyed being uncomfortable.

Thank you so much for posting this. I wish I had just the right list of adjectives to do justice to your lovely, eerie, grainy, raw, real, quiet, angst-ridden suburban emotional landscape, but for now I'll leave it at: just keep writing forever and ever and ever!

[kaibosh]

Ohhhh my gosh thank you so much o.o I'm glad you said it was the GOOD kind of uncomfortable, I got all worried when I saw that xD But that's what I was going for, just the sort of cringing-at-how-awful-he-is-at-this idea. I'm so grateful for your comments, thank you VERY much!

[claro3]

I am such a blathermouth, I just can't resist... It's not even how ~bad~ he is (how could he not be?), it's the wonderful way you have him sort of skim over the act itself, experiencing not just the sex but the whole world from this strange intellectual remove; it's the way you throw in the details about the study cards in his shoe... It's just such amazing character construction overall. Pardon me while I spazz. :)

[kaibosh]

SPAZZ ALL YOU LIKE, YOU ARE MAKING ME HAPPY IN MY HEART.

I am so happy about this feedback, I was really half expecting a lot of "omg wtf Lloyd randomly sleeping with people? This is awful". So I'm really glad it seems ok. I just honestly don't see Lloyd Lowery as the physical-abandon kind of guy. He analyses everything, why should this be different? xD

[inkscape16]

Gah, you're amazing. Please, never stop writing! :D

[kaibosh]

Eeeee, thank you so much xD <3

[vireyda]

I love the BOK fandom; everyone writes such great fic! That said, this is still one of my fav stories.

I keep coming back to it as it pushes all my buttons regarding Lloyd's character: his formation, the toxic love-hate with his mother, the over-analytical view of the world & such an intimate act as sex.

I think what I loved most is how Lloyd's mother and her character (or lack thereof) is so front and center with Lloyd's constant mental ticking of what his mother will know, will think and then bam. She didn't notice he was gone. It's such a perfect commentary on a woman so obsessed with her son that she oven-mitts him and yet so unconcerned she never listens on the phone to him when he's explaining he's doing something good etc etc.

Love, love, love this fic :)

[kaibosh]

There IS so much good fic here, isn't there?? And I am very honoured you would count this paltry offering among them...and as one of your favourites! :3 :3 :3

Ahhhh I'm so glad you liked the mother bit, I think that is far and away the best thing I managed to get in here. I feel like the actual sex part would be much the same for any character like that, with a few differences like the fact he has to sneak IN to high school, but the mother thing was tricky because I had to tailor it to Lloyd without being too cliche. So I'm SO glad it worked and that you liked it. Thank you so much <3