Comments | breakinglight11: I write about babies a lot

breakinglight11

I write about babies a lot

Jun 26, 2013 14:36

I remember when I ran the plot of my latest full-length play by morethings5. His response was, "That's such a Phoebe story." And the reason for that was that it prominently dealt with issues around babies.

I write a lot of things that have babies in them. Pregnancies, new babies, lost babies. Babies that change things, that very seriously matter. If I ever ( Read more... )

feminism, musing, body, introspection, family, writing

Comments 9

Grrrrrrl, we should talk youareverysmall June 26 2013, 18:51:21 UTC

I feel all the same concerns as you. I mean, I don't plan on ever being pregnant, and I do think about adopting, but through the foster care system [because okay I have a whole rant here about how privileged people talk about the costs of adopting while poor people foster kids and adopt them through the foster care system and how that dichotomy is super screwed up but I won't rant here oh whoops too late]. Sometimes I think that part of the reason I don't want to adopt is because I'm scared of what it would do to my body, but you know what? So flipping what? Why is it wrong to be scared of having a parasitic lifeform change the shape of the skin sack I live in permanently? It shouldn't be wrong to be afraid of that. It just shouldn't ( ... )

laurion June 26 2013, 19:50:32 UTC

In the meantime, you can borrow mine sometimes to get your fix in.

breakinglight11 June 27 2013, 02:06:17 UTC

An excellent idea. I do like that boy quite a bit. :-)

lillibet June 27 2013, 02:38:05 UTC

This is fascinating, because it comes from such a totally different perspective from my own. I cannot imagine caring about my appearance like this. I never doubted that I wanted at least one child. The biological connection with my child is incredibly important to me. It never occurred to me that I would lose myself in parenting. So, yeah, different.

Pregnancy, adoption, parenting--they're all incredibly personal experiences that run a wide gamut. I suspect that you will surprise yourself--that something that seemed incredibly important turned out to be no big deal, or vice versa--and also that you are probably right about at least some of this stuff. In any case, it's good to figure out what you think and recognize what you feel.

neuromancerzss June 27 2013, 03:38:29 UTC

I doubt you meant it this way, but "I suspect you'll change your mind" is exceptionally grating to people (primarily women) who have opinions regarding children that don't fit with the norm. What makes you think that what Phoebe hasn't thought long and hard about this and came to a real understanding of her feelings on the matter? Would you have said this to someone who in the end agreed with you?

lillibet June 27 2013, 03:45:07 UTC

I didn't say that. I would not say that. Please re-read my comment.

neuromancerzss June 27 2013, 03:50:03 UTC

"I suspect that you will surprise yourself--that something that seemed incredibly important turned out to be no big deal, or vice versa..."

You allowed afterward that some of her feelings might be fixed, but you definitely said here that you expected some to change, and my question is, on what basis do you doubt her current conclusions?

Thread 5

emp42ress June 27 2013, 10:48:06 UTC

Thank you. I think this is very well said. I'm much more ambivalent about having kids, and, given my situation, probably most likely to just never do so. However, I do love children, and feel that more intelligent, stable people need to be having kids. I often feel guilty about how selfish my reasons for not breeding are: I'm frankly terrified of pregnancy and the first year. I'm terrified about permanent physical damage to my body. I'm terrified about feeling physically trapped in a body that doesn't just do whatever I want it to. The appearance aspects bother me less, but the functional parts terrify me ( ... )