the avengers (2012) | Sink, Swim | Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

[kitsuneasika]

Title: Sink, Swim
Pairing: Steve-centric, hints of Steve/Tony
Wordcount: 260
Summary: Steve's getting used to the 21st century. Mostly.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers in any shape or form.
Notes: This was mostly written for the We Need More Cowbell - Part 2 challenge at writerverse, which I've recently joined. If you think this looks familiar, that's

Comments

[et_tu_lj]

I like how you've expanded this. Just the "and not the hands moving them" makes the subtext so much clearer. The aside clarifies it further, both confirming the attraction and clarifying that it hasn't been acknowledged between them.

The emotion's clear throughout, and gives a good idea of what it's like for him to be the man out of his time. And the imagery in the last paragraph is strong. The action fit and expressed what he was feeling already, but the imagery makes me share that feeling much more. "The steady, harsh rhythm of his fists against sand" and the "sand spiraling out of the wreckage" are gorgeous phrases. (Is that what's in punching bags? I had no idea.)

Great expansion, and it's really strengthened the piece into something interesting.

[kitsuneasika]

thank you! The bit where it says "and not the hands moving them" was actually one of the phrases I had to remove when I was first trying to cut it down to 100 words, so I jumped at the chance to put it back in.

As for the sand-punching bag thing, I don't know for sure, but it looked like sand to me in the movie, and this suggested that the answer could be yes, so I figured I could keep those lines. (Which, by the way, I was quite fond of as well- I'm glad that the parts that I liked best seem to be those that stood out the most to you!)

Again, thank you for the lovely comment! I liked this quite a bit more than the original version, so I'm glad to see that other people agree.

[et_tu_lj]

lol. Mine went the opposite direction. I like the short version way better. Oops.