An entirely unwanted blast from the past.

[bratenfrau]

"Hey _______ and husband, how are you doing? Are you still in Florida? And if so, are you going to be at ________ this Thursday(the 13th...)?? You really should be! I will be visiting the parents for a few days, and would like to meet up with some old friends if possible. Oh yeah, the only way you can let me know is if you show up. If not then just

Comments

[f_o_n_y]

nope, it's not wrong at all. if someone takes too much emotional effort or adds no value, there's no point in pretending to want to spend time with them. friendships evolve.

[bratenfrau]

"Friendships evolve."

I like that. Especially when the "evolution" we're talking about is going to be a friendship sans ME. Thank you. :)

[apeystar]

Ditch him.

[bratenfrau]

Silly me, I thought the whole "I have lost all respect for you as a man and we have to have to have to break up now" speech three years ago would have accomplished that!!

:\

[bratenfrau]

Thanks for the reassurance. Unfortunately, it seems like just ignoring him and/or only offering curt, bland emails in response to his queries is just not getting the point across. Sigh. I suppose I should just grow a pair and stop responding altogether.

[bratenfrau]

Yep, I'm the girl who worries continually about hurting other people's feelings and forgets that I have some of my own. I am lame.

Holy SHIT. I just also realized that today is his birthday and THAT must be why he's wanting to gather 'round all the people he thinks care about him. Crap! Ok, so if I ditch him on his birthday, is THAT bad? :)

[erikthedane]

"it's not that I hate him or anything, but he represents a phase in my life that I would like to just forget about and move on from."

That sounds like a good reason to not go. And don't lead the guy on, be as honest with him as you can. Yes it may hurt him if you tell him that, but I've had an ex-girlfriend tell me the same thing, and I was glad she did later on.
Be tactful, be civil, and be honest.

[bratenfrau]

Yeah, I think I'm just going to avoid responding to his email(s) at all unless he actually asks me why I'm ignoring him. At which point, I'll be honest and tell him.

Thanks for the male (and ex-boy) perspective. :)

[lilysnowflower]

There's nothing wrong with it. Unless you're on the other end, I guess.

[bratenfrau]

Point taken... but it's not like I'm being needlessly cruel here, I mean, I'm married and trying to move on after a crappy mindfuck of a relationship, not attempting to put a voodoo hex on him by poking a doll's bits and pieces with a sharp stick or anything. New friends aren't that hard to make, and I live halfway across the country anyway, so it's not like my friendship is of much value to him to begin with. I still feel weirdly bad though.

[lilysnowflower]

No, in this case, you're right.