Comments | bratanimus: Twilight Fic: Intention (A Change of Heart, Part 1)

bratanimus

Twilight Fic: Intention (A Change of Heart, Part 1)

Apr 17, 2008 19:15

Title: Intention (Part 1 of A Change of Heart)
Author: bratanimus
Rating: R
Spoilers: Set after Eclipse.
Warnings: Sexual content, blood.
Pairings: Edward/Bella, all other canon pairings
Word Count: 5,629
Summary: Our wedding night wasn’t supposed to be like this. They’d decided that Bella was too great a risk, and they were prepared to kill all of us if ( Read more... )

edward/bella, twilight, change of heart, fic

Comments 37

99_hearts April 18 2008, 02:34:39 UTC

A very good fic and written well, I quite enjoyed it ^^

bratanimus April 18 2008, 03:07:09 UTC

Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it. :)

bratanimus April 18 2008, 03:29:39 UTC

I meant to ask since you reviewed Part 1 ... did you see Part 2 here?

99_hearts April 18 2008, 06:10:37 UTC

Yes I did, also very good ^^ can't wait for more. Actually I might add you just so I can keep an eye on your fanfiction ;)

99_hearts

Thread 5

insidethe_lie April 18 2008, 03:23:00 UTC

Wow. That was really well written. I was so close to crying when Charlie was leaving. I was like noooo!!! Hug her!! Its so sad. :[

But seriously, this is so good. Its like, SM status or better. I dont know. I love it. I could totally see this happening in the book. <3

bratanimus April 18 2008, 03:28:33 UTC

Oh, thank you so much! Yeah, poor, stoic Charlie who doesn't know how to hug his daughter even though he really wants to. :(

I'm so pleased that you liked this story. Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave such nice feedback. You are too kind. :D

But there's more of this story. Did you see Part 2? Click here!

insidethe_lie April 18 2008, 03:55:12 UTC

Oh, yeah I did see it. haha. Loved it of course. <3

I can't wait for your next bit. :]

bratanimus April 18 2008, 04:09:24 UTC

Oh, sorry! *blush* Never mind. LOL! ;)

Thread 5

rhye April 18 2008, 05:26:34 UTC

Wow, you wrote this so vividly that I found myself feeling dread and horror and actually believing harm could come to them, even though it's unlikely that you'd write that. Still, I was so engrossed that I guess I forgot it was a story. Unfortunately, I have to go to bed now, so I'll read Part 2 tomorrow, but I'm thrilled that I decided to read this. Thank you.

bratanimus April 18 2008, 11:56:29 UTC

Oh, thank you! I'm so glad you liked Part 1 and were worried for them. It's good to know that my writing was vivid enough that you were drawn into the story. Thanks for reading! I look forward to seeing what you think of Part 2. :D

javidan April 18 2008, 11:25:07 UTC

I've been patiently waiting for a good child-free block of time to read...
Wonderful!
This line---Charlie didn’t trust me. Renée didn’t trust Bella---sums Bella's parents up perfectly I think.
You captured a great feeling of suspense with the Volturi arriving, even though I had listened to your voice post and knew what was going to happen!
Edward's pain --- aghhhhhh!!!
And Jasper, *swoon* with his personal touch, risking showing off his talent so directly but realizing they were so in need of it.
*off to read Part 2*

bratanimus April 18 2008, 12:45:45 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad you liked Edward's assessment, Charlie didn’t trust me. Renée didn’t trust Bella, because I think that's exactly how it is. (And Edward would know, wouldn't he, lol?) I think Renée sees herself in Bella and wants to protect her from the mistakes she made (even though her "mistakes" gave her her greatest gift, Bella).

I'm glad you thought there was suspense in the scene with the Volturi, and that you felt Edward's pain throughout. I really hope the wedding night and the bite happen something like this. *fingers crossed*

You've pointed out one of my favorite bits, when Jasper exposes himself as he helps Edward and Bella do what they have to do. I just love Jasper. He seems the perfect blend of love and pragmatism, doesn't he? I may have to write some Jasper. ;)

Thank you again for your thoughtful words. :D

whoajessica April 18 2008, 13:21:49 UTC

I really loved this; especially the way you wrote their love-making, and her change. I'm glad you explored the chance that Edward could come close to actually killing Bella if he kept drinking... that was really fantastic.

If you do continue this, I can't wait for the next chapter/part! :) This was lovely, really.

bratanimus April 18 2008, 16:13:17 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad you liked the evolution from consummation to transformation; that's something I've wanted to write since reading the books, and I could not resist. *hopes Meyer gives us something similar* I do think it would be difficult for Edward to keep the beast under control when he was actually in the process of drinking her blood, so it's good to know that that section of the piece worked for you. Thanks again for reading! :D