Negotiations (Spiral fragment 6 of ?)

[brain_diarrhea]

Fragment: Negotiations (6 of ?)
Fandom: Spiral (Pre-Canon, and pre-Alive)
Genre: ...
Rating: T
Why: You'll see.

Notes: This was the chapter I had to be dreadfully careful with. I wasn't sure if this was the right place for it to be, but even that seemed to add to it. (The YaibaXKiyotaka glitter is blinding me with its tastefulness... It turned

Comments

negotiations 6

[brain_diarrhea]

be nice. Post your comments ehre to save Skunky pages upon pages fo cellphone scrolling? She LOVES comments. her hair dines on them.

Re: negotiations 6

[brain_diarrhea]

Ah, the end has come to another great story. Loved it!<3 At first I was a little iffy on the booze!Yaiba but when I reverse engineered Hizumi, I can see it as Yaiba's version of suicide (slower and quite tastier obviously). Interestingly also in your fic, Yaiba had that same painful wait of death at the hands of a Narumi. Parallels were endless!

Well-written as always. The only thing I could find any complaint about (and not much of a complaint either=) was in the earlier chapter where Yaiba made Ayumu and his parents move, it somehow did not fit in I guess. Or maybe I just expected something even more threatening from Yaiba-sanXD

~Samwise

Re: negotiations 6

[obseletevulture]

Huzzah! Someone read! That makes me oh so happy!

As for the complaint, it was meant to be implied that yaiba had meant something worse towards Ayumu and the Narumis, but he'd failed, and therefore was bragging as though he'd kidnapped them or such, while Kiyotaka knew they'd just picked up and done some serious moseying away.

Yaiba's tricky to get the Hizumi parallels in with. *snort* Booze AND cigarettes, in his case. And diabetes-inducing tastes for sugar.

Haah. Guess this means I post the epilogue for Samwise-kun later~ ♥ (Nobody else seems to ahve time to catch up. Haha Skunky's loquacious...)

Re: negotiations 6

[brain_diarrhea]

Lol I see! I guessed it was to have Yaiba try to imply that he could skewer them at will if he wanted to but I didn't take it as he really, really couldn't do itXD Smokey!Yaiba was believable to me, probably since he looks like the smoker type (or at least would look good with a cig in his mouth). Plus cigarettes don't kill so fast, it's the second hand smoke that really effects people quicker. I remember learning that as long as they puff out the smoke, the smokers don't really get effected as quick because they're not inhaling the chemicals. Hmm... I think I know all this since my dad and bro smoke it up a lot so for my own health, it's a need-to-know basis.

Hizumi eats sugary stuff and has no grudges against calories that's for sureXD So the danish treats with balanced calories... makes it hard to believe but of course Kiyotaka can pull it off! I think Yaiba could be a red meat man. Anyway, I'm looking forward to your epilogue=)

~Samwise