Title: The Long And The Short Of It (Pray Tell) (1/1)
Author: BradyGirl_12
Pairings/Characters: Steve/Diana, The Chief
Continuity: Wonder Woman (2017)
Genres: Fluff, Humor, Slice-Of-Life
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Spoilers: For Wonder Woman (2017)
Summary: Steve lied to Diana. Tsk, tsk!
Date Of Completion: June 13, 2017
Date Of Posting: July 5, 2017
Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em, DC and Warner Brothers do, more’s the pity.
Word Count: 561
Feedback welcome and appreciated.
Author’s Notes: The inspiration is coming fast! :) Also written for my
2017 DCU Fic/Art Wonder Woman Love Diamond Anniversary Challenge (DW) and
(LJ).
Diana and Steve sat against a sheltering tree as their team chose to sit closer to the campfire. It was still daylight but the Chief was cooking rabbit for everyone. Diana realized how hungry she was and her mouth watered as she smelled the roasting meat.
“You’re not a vegetarian?” Steve asked.
“I assume you meant that a vegetarian does not eat meat?” At his nod she said, “No. While our diet on the island is mostly fruit, vegetables, and fish, we hunt game. A boar hunt was my coming-of-age ceremony, in fact.”
“Ah.”
“Are you surprised? I am named, after all, after the Goddess of the Hunt.” She could see him running through the names of Greek Gods he remembered.
“That makes sense.” He shifted as if trying to get comfortable.
“Are you all right? There are no snakes slithering down the tree?” She smiled as he jerked away from the trunk and did a quick check.
“Umm, no, I’m fine.”
“Is something bothering you?”
His eyes could not quite meet hers and he sighed. He met her gaze.
“I lied to you.”
“How? The Lasso does not allow…”
He waved his hand. “It was nothing you asked me while I was bound by it.”
“Oh.” Her shock turned to hurt. “Why would you lie to me?”
“I, um, it was when you came into the grotto and I was, ah…”
“Naked.”
“That’s right, naked.” His face looked slightly pink. “You asked me if I was like other men.”
“Above average?”
“Yeah.” He blushed, the pink deepening.
Oh, how she loved this man’s fair skin! What did Etta call him? Cute, that was it!
“I’m, uh, really just average.” He was bright red now. Even the roots of his hair blushed.
She stifled her laughter. She sensed this was a sensitive subject. “I know. Mother told me so.”
“Your mother…?” he squeaked.
“Yes, she told me that men are always worried about the size of their male organs.”
Steve touched the back of his hand to his cheek, looking a little surprised at how hot he was.
“So is that why you lied?”
“It was more of a joke, really.” Steve attempted a crooked grin. “We Irish-American lads have to exaggerate…a little.”
“Ah.” Diana looked down between Steve’s legs. ”I saw nothing to be ashamed of.”
Steve coughed and Diana pounded his back. He took a hasty gulp from his canteen and rasped, “Um, thanks.”
“You are welcome.”
Steve took another sip. “I guess you could say this whole war is a di…manhood-measuring contest.”
Diana frowned. “How so?”
“Oh, the build-up of weapons, new and old, bigger and better. Big Bertha is a prime example.”
“Big Bertha?”
“A cannon so big that it sinks into the earth, I’ve heard. Takes a dozen horses or more to haul it around.”
Her eyes widened. “It sounds mythic.”
“Sometimes I think so.”
Diana smiled. “I like your size.”
Steve smiled back. “Yeah, Big Bertha’s a little unwieldly.”
Chief appeared. “Supper, my friends.” He handed Diana and Steve sticks with meat on them, like a shish kebab, Sam had said.
“Thank you, Chief,” Diana said. She took a bite. “Very good.”
“You’re welcome, Princess.” The Chief looked at Steve. “Smooth, Trevor, very smooth.” He smirked and Steve had the grace to look embarrassed.
Diana enjoyed her supper with a little smirk of her own.
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