FIC: Portions For Foxes (Part Two)

[bottle_of_smoke]

Title: Portions for Foxes
Part: 2/3
Fandom: Brokeback Mountain
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Post-canon
Pairing: Ennis/Jack, Ennis/OC
Words: 11,200
Warnings: Some mild horror, violence, consensual rough sex, animal death (not abuse)
Disclaimer: With the exception of original characters, the characters and places portrayed here do not belong to me and I do

Comments

[dragged_up]

I've been telling you this already but this is really really good and I love it.

[bottle_of_smoke]

Hurray! Let's not ruin it at the last chapter, then. (It currently sucks balls. Definitely needs a re-write.)

[cornflake2912]

This story is really well-written. What I enjoy the most is, that it's written in present tense. Most of my stories are, too, but some readers don't like that style. I wonder why. It makes everything more real, in my opinion.

I liked everything except the fact that Ennis was a bit harsh with his horse at the end. I can't imagine canon!Ennis would ever hurt them, even if he was angry or in a hurry. But that's just my opinion ;)

Thanks for sharing.

[bottle_of_smoke]

I tried writing this fic in past tense at first, but find it didn't quite work. I find present tense lends it self to more lyricism in writing.

I did wonder about the harshness with his horse, but figured that this is the same man who was rough with his ex-wife and hit Jack. I used his cruelness to the horse as a way of expressing how out of it he really is at this point, how mentally messed up. He definitely feels really bad about it when he sobers, though!

I'm glad you liked it other than that part, though :)

[cornflake2912]

I see his horses just like his daughters...
He would never hit them, because they are innocent. But that's just the way I see it.
They are his little darlings... so he wouldn't be harsh even though he would be angry.

[bottle_of_smoke]

You do have a point. I can see why you had a problem with it, and sympathise.

[cornflake2912]

If I am allowed to ask: Are you male or female? Just interested because of the writing style.

[bottle_of_smoke]

The last time I checked I was very definitely female. Do I have an especially female or male writing style, then?

[cornflake2912]

You have a male writing style. I read a lot about writing M/M books and most of the woman are too soft (I am , too in writing, LOL!) I enjoy your style a lot!

[bottle_of_smoke]

I'm thrilled you think so! I try to gear my writing style to the character, in this case a male and a middle-aged American rural male at that, which is very different from myself: female, early twenties, English and a scientist.

[acht_acht]

Jud has done nothing but complain but Ennis has never seen him so firmly within his own element. Reeking of sheep innards and the raw protein stink of amniotic fluid, blood dried to black moons beneath his fingernails, he seems completely at home. Ennis gets him to admit it. LOL.

Jesus, I didn´t realize how I missed lambing season myself, all the mud and the shit and the weather ... or that I would thoroughly enjoy another MO!Ennis story, but there you are. Jud is quite the character. A lot of Jack in him, but unique enough. I loved that description:
Dressed in his old gamekeeper's suit and familiar cap, he looks very much the animal quite at ease in itself. His eyes are turned out to the fields, sharp and measured against the rain that trims his lashes. There is a predator's gleam in them. Ennis wonders what a strange contradiction this man is: last night the fox guarding sheep, now hunting rabbits.
He´s kind of hot, hm? I hope they´ll both stay at the ranch, despite the considerably deepened intimacy.

When the dark passenger

[bottle_of_smoke]

If you found you missed lambing season then I consider myself accomplished. I've never dealt even remotely with lambs myself, but I'm fascinated by the rural life and spent my childhood reading Herriot.

I'm pleased you find Jud hot, haha. He's meant to be physically ugly, but his nature and personality and comfort in his own skin should shine through, should make him attractive.

I've a tendency towards bittersweet endings in my fiction but I can't tell you more than that! That would ruin it ;) Thank you for the comment, it was very lovely.

[acht_acht]

Hehe - I almost mentioned that i watched and read All creatures big and small religiously as a kid (actually till my mid-thirties I think) when I wrote the comment. And Jud is a crazy son of a bitch with a mercurial temperament, that makes him irresistible for me. A long, pointed nose and pricked ears complete this distinctly vulpine face. I like the pricked ears LOL ... and how he looks so "washed out" ... very british indeed.
But I guess what I like most about him is that he wants to stay although it´s more than obvious how out of character it is for him.

[bottle_of_smoke]

Are you British yourself then? Whereabouts, if I may ask?

[red2blue]

Wow! I stay quite impressed with your stile and vivid images you paint - powerful stuff! Very intense ending of the chapter. Jud is so like Jack indeed, I'm not sure if I like him or jealous, for Jack ;o) no wonder Ennis is falling for him.
Cheers!
M

[bottle_of_smoke]

Well, Jack liked Jud so I'm sure he'd give them his blessing ;) Think of it like that.

Glad you liked this, hope the next chapter stands up.

[red2blue]

Am sure it will.

Btw, wanted to ask but forgot: how long is this after Jack died? You - or Jud - says that Ennis is 40, but then somewhere else Ennis also thinks that it's been many years since Jack's gone.

cheers,
m

[bottle_of_smoke]

It starts in the beginning of 1985, and in my head about six months after the end of the short story. That makes Ennis a little older than forty, but Jud is only making a rough estimate of his age.