Chapter 4
Title: Botched Spell 4/5
Author’s:
cinderella81 and
batmanvinnie
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: We are not Joss Whedon, we are not Mutant Enemy. We don’t own these characters and make no profit from this story.
Spoilers: Takes place after “Buffy vs. Dracula” in season 5. According to canon, Xander worked on that one construction job in the episode “Pangs” in season four. A few episodes later he was delivering pizza, then worked fast food again, before returning to construction., but assumes Xander didn’t start working construction until sometime in season 5, before episode 3, “The Replacement.” So this may be fudging the timeline a wee bit, but please bear with us.
Summary: Buffy casts a spell to create understanding between Spike and Xander. But it’s the Hellmouth, so of course something wonky happens.
Feedback: Please read and review! Constructive criticism welcome!
Giles pulled away, his body thrumming with excitement. To say the least, he had been surprised when Ethan had pressed their lips together. Sure, Giles had experienced feelings for him when they were younger, but he had long since repressed those. But at the touch of Ethan’s firm, smooth lips, the heady lust from his youth had filled him once again.
“What was that for?” Giles asked, blinking the tumult of emotions back into submission.
Ethan’s lips curled into that wry, seductive smile that heated Giles’ skin. “For old times sake. Listen, here’s a book. Think of it as payment for any books… or services, that you give me. You can read it or not; I don’t care. Just make sure your little ones don’t run across it.” Ethan placed a large volume into Giles’ hands. With a last caress of Giles’ hand, Ethan released the book and left the Magic Box.
Clearing his throat, Giles dropped his eyes to the weighty tome: Tantric Magic. “Good lord.”
* * *
Xander left Spike’s crypt at sundown and headed straight for the Magic Box. Every scent hit him like a Mack truck, and everything seemed so clear in twilight. Xander reveled in the joys of vampire senses, in clearly seeing individual leaves on trees yards away. To his right, he heard a slight rustling of bushes and watched, horrified, as a tall, grey demon emerged.
“Spiiike,” it wheezed. “You stole it, you have insulted our honor. It is ours….”
“Your what? Your precious?” he shot back. Wow, sarcasm sounds a lot better with the English accent.
“Our chalice,” it sneered.
“Wait, do you want the chalice from the palace with the brew that is true, or the flagon with the dragon with the pestle of poison?”
“What?” it growled, the deep sound resonating in Xander’s borrowed chest as the beast moved quickly. Fear tightening his stomach, Xander jumped back, landing six feet away.
“Holy shit,” he whispered, eyes wide, staring at the distance that now separated him and the beast. Another snarl drew him out of his shock. The demon once again charged, but it seemed slower. To Xander, it looked like the demon was running towards him through water. I’m a vamp. So is this is how vamps see everything? Wow. Studying the creature, he saw the blade it was trying to conceal in its right hand. Preparing himself for the attack, he waited. The demon stopped in front of him, and struck out with its left fist. Smirking, Xander ducked the punch, then jumping away as the demon tried to use the blade.
Moving with speed that would have stunned Xander (had he not been dealing with a strong surge of adrenaline), he threw three bone-crunching punches before weaving away. Mimicking the movements he’d watched Spike perform, he surged forward, delivered several strong hits, and then danced away from the enraged creature before it could hit back. As the fight continued, his understanding grew. Somehow, being able to see as well and as quickly as a vampire allowed Xander to analyze the movements of his opponent, studying how it moved, how it attacked. Fighting was a lot more enjoyable when you could figure out what the hell was going on.
* * *
Spike stopped in front of the Magic Box, cautious. He didn’t know what to expect if Xander was already there. Would they attack him? Hit him? Stake him while in their friend’s body? Taking a necessary breath, he opened the door an entered. Anya sat at the research table, talking with Buffy, and Willow.
Buffy turned towards him, a wide, amazed smile on her face.
“Hey Xan, how- Wow, nice look!”
Willow observed him with the same surprise, but it was centered in her resolve face. “Wow Xander, you look good. I mean, you looked good before but-. Xander, what’s wrong with you?”
“Wrong?” Spike echoed, leaning against the counter.
“Yeah, I mean, you dumped Anya, got new clothes, a new haircut and quit your job. Is something wrong?”
“Um, no. Hey, where's Tara?” he asked, hoping to change the subject. Willow frowned.
"She had a study group and don't you try to change the subject, Mister," she commanded.
“Are you absolutely certain there isn’t something… bothering you?” Giles added.
“I agree that something is wrong. While I understand that breaking up was good for our futures, I do think all this change is very strange, Xander,” Anya added.
Shit. Spike had been prepared to flee, not explain. Thinking quickly, he spoke. “The argument that Spike and I had last night, well, some of the stuff made sense. I don’t like my life as it is, so I decided to change it. At least that way he won’t have so much to tease me about.”
“Oh.” Spike heard it in surround sound, watching the heads nod in unison. Swallowing his fear, he tried to act Xander-natural.
“Yeah, well I wouldn’t count on that saving you from Spike’s barbs,” Giles pointed out. “Despite his legendary impatience, he is a rather keen observer of human- well, and demon- nature. He is incredibly bright.”
“Yeah, he really is,” Spike threw in. “Always kind of surprised me that we could beat him.”
Buffy snorted. “Not really. He may be all evil geniusy, but he has no patience.”
“Well as titillating as this discussion is, there are rumors of Vorlack demon with a blood chalice in town,” Giles added. Spike coughed mid-inhalation. The sensation of needing to breathe was still new enough that the reminder of his latest poker winnings caught him off guard. Spike sat down at the table with the rest of the Scoobies. As they were preparing to get down to researching… again, Dawn walked through the door, laden with school books. Outside, they could hear tires squealing as a Geo Metro that was sporadically covered in duct-tape took off.
“Dawnie, what are you doing here?” Buffy asked, concerned.
"Mom had a meeting tonight, so Janice and I went to get a burger. And now you get to take me home," she smiled.
"Okay, so who drove you?" Buffy pressed.
“Janice’s brother, Kyle.”
“The drug addict?”
“He’s not a drug addict, he’s just in a band,” she countered.
“Well lots of band people do drugs and stuff,” Buffy argued.
“Oz didn’t do drugs,” Willow pointed out. “Although Devon did, he was a total pot head, which explains why he went out Cordelia-.”
“What happened to Xander?” Dawn interrupted. She really didn’t want to have that conversation… again.
“Xander experienced a personal crisis. He broke up with me, quit his job, left the basement, and got a makeover. But he said we can still have orgasms together,” Anya explained. As Dawn stared, slack-jawed, Anya grabbed a clipboard and headed into the back of the store.
Giles cleared his throat. “Yes, well, we need to research, um, a demon of some sort. To fight.”
“Anyone willing to help me fight a demon named ‘algebra?’” Dawn interjected with a hopeful smile.
Everyone except Spike bustled around and found other things to do. Giles went behind the counter to organize books. Buffy went to the training room, while Willow went to the upper level to check on some spell books. Dawn sat down next to Spike and opened up her algebra book, pinning him with her best pout. Spike didn’t say anything, merely sighed; he was good at math and she needed his help. Halfway through the first problem, they realized that they needed a calculator. Spike got up and sauntered to the cash register, and grabbed the calculator. He sat back down, and noticed that Dawn had an odd look on her face.
“Xander, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“But you’re walking all different. And you hate algebra, why are you helping me?”
“Lay off, I’m fine Bit,” Spike said. He immediately regretted his choice of words as he saw the shocked look in Dawn’s eyes. Over the past couple years, he's started to swing by Joyce's house to kill lurking vamps and have a bit of hot chocolate. Sometimes, Dawn would be awake and Joyce had allowed her daughter to get close to Spike. Spike loved the little girl's irreverent and strange sense of humor, while she loved Spike's honesty and willingness to tell her the truth no one else would.
"S-Spike?” Dawn stuttered. Spike groaned.
“Shit. Yeah Niblet, it’s me. Just don’t go yelling that too loud,” he whispered, glancing at Giles.
“What happened?”
“I have absolutely no idea. But, since I’m in Xander’s body, it’s safe to assume-“
“That Xander is in your body. Wow. So, you did all this for Xander?” Dawn asked in awe, her eyes getting misty at the romantic nature of Spike's actions.
“Yeah. Felt bad for the tosser,” he smirked with false machismo. “Figured I could have some fun that wouldn’t end in him killing me when get switched back.” Dawn just grinned at him.
“You love him don’t you?”
“What? No,” he whispered harshly.
“You like Xander, you like Xander!” she taunted.
Growling he started cursing. Then seeing the small smile on her lips, he sighed. “Is it that obvious?”
“No, only to people who know how you loved Dru and know what to look for. I mean, whenever he enters the room, your whole face seems to light up with glee. No one else seems to notice, or else they just think it’s with malicious glee," she explained thoughtfully. "So, what are you going to do to prove your love?”
“What do you think I’ve been doing? This is all for him. I even got him a new job at a construction company. Yeah, he’ll have to start at the bottom, but starting pay is twice what he was making at the other job. I got him a nice apartment, and I managed to break up with Anya in a way that won’t have her after his knackers,” Spike finished righteously, before moaning. "God, I'm turning into a poofter."
“Oh my God that is so sweet!” she squealed. Two sets of eyes swung towards the giddy teenager.
“Are you alright, Dawn?” Giles asked. The girl smiled, a chill going down Spike’s spine.
“Uh, yeah. I’m just excited because Xander just promised to take Janice and me to a Backstreet Boys concert.”
Spike’s eyes widened in terror as he sputtered, “Now wait….”
Dawn faced him again, smiling. “You promised, didn’t you, Xander?” Sighing in defeat, he nodded.
"You’re evil, Bit,” he whispered.
Dawn simply smiled. “Well, I learned from the best.”
Trying to hide paternal pride from his smile, Spike turned back towards the algebra text. “So, what’s the problem here?”
“The part with the numbers and letters.”
* * *
With a triumphant roar, Xander snapped the vampire’s neck, twisting so far and hard that the head separated from its torso, blowing away in a cloud of dust.
“Yes!” he cried, pumping his now-empty hands into the air. He didn’t know how long he’d been hunting, but in that time he’d killed two demon, nine vampires, and had chased off six frat boys, ridges at the fore. He’d intended to beat the hell out of them for teasing some you kid in an X-Files tee shirt, but remembered in time that Spike’s body was chipped. So he’d settled for chasing them down the street, reveling in the sweet, pungent smell of their fear, calling out taunts as they wet themselves. Literally.
Finally, when Sunnydale seemed quiet enough, he remembered his reason for vacating the crypt. Running towards the Magic Box, he arrived in time to see Anya heading towards her car.
“Hey, Anya!” he called as he jogged towards her from across the street.
“Oh, hello Spike.” Quickly, she unlocked her door and threw her purse on the passenger seat. Waiting for her to turn around, Xander saw the boxes of belongings in her backseat.
“Um, Anya, what’s all that stuff in the back?”
“Oh, Xander broke up with me today so I’m taking my things from the basement.”
"He what?!” Xander has expected cruel jokes from Spike, perhaps multiple citations for exposing himself in public, but this, this was....
“And then he quit his job and moved out of his basement,” she rambled, getting into her car.
“WHAT?!” Xander knew vampires couldn’t have aneurysms or heart attacks, but he felt close. He stood open mouthed in shock as Anya started her car and drove off. He was going to kill Spike- as soon as he found him. What is he doing to my life? Who the Hell does he think he is? Well, besides me! Xander ranted internally as he stalked toward the Magic Box. He was so deep in his thoughts that he completely missed the fact that he was coming very close to some of the frat boys that he had chased off. It seemed that they wanted retribution.
Xander felt a hand on his shoulder, and didn’t even stop. He reached for the hand, and threw the offender over his shoulder. He quickly started to throw punches, and as soon as the guy was knocked out, Xander took a good look and realized that it was one of the drunk frat boy. Why can I beat up humans? I’m not supposed to be able to hurt humans; I’m a chipped vampire. Something weird is going on. Xander quickly resumed his path to the Magic Box, hoping that everyone was still there.
* * *
Spike and Dawn had long since finished Dawn’s homework, and were now helping research. Spike walked over to the cash register to replace the calculator, and noticed a book hidden under some paperwork. Spike picked up the book, and noticed the title; Tantric Magic.
Now, wonder where the Old Watcher got a copy of this, Spike wondered. He caught Giles’ eye, and waggled his eyebrows at him, and then laughed as Giles began to blush. Spike was about to make a lewd comment when he heard the ringing of the bell above the door. He looked up to see Xander walk in. He saw the look in Xander’s eye when he caught sight of Spike. Xander looked shocked.
My hair! My clothes, oh God, my bank account, what-.
“Spike, what do you want?” Buffy asked, interrupting Xander’s internal freaking.
“I’m outta blood,” Xander growled.
“And you’re here because …” Buffy said.
“Remembered that G, I mean Giles, had some left in his apartment. Uh, flat.”
“Yes, yes. Xander, please take Spike over to my place so he can get some blood.”
Xander and Spike both stared at Giles when he said this, Xander smiling, Spike horrified.
“WHAT?”
“Oh, come on. It won’t be that bad. You’ve done it before,” Dawn replied with a sneaky smile.
“Yeah, Xander. It’s no big deal. Just take him over, let him get his blood, and then take him to his crypt,” Buffy said.
“Nope, can’t do it. ‘Sides, isn’t there a demon you guys are looking for?” Spike asked.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” Buffy said brightly. She approached Xander and grabbed his arm.
“Here, we need you to look at these pictures. There’s some demon with a goblet that’s been tearing up pawn shops in town.”
Gritting his teeth, Xander followed Buffy to the table. Looking down, he saw a picture of the demon he’d killed earlier that night.
“It’s no problem, Slayer. I already killed it tonight," he said, smiling proudly. "Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to go to get my blood.” Turning around, he faced the counter where Spike had been standing. Only he wasn’t there.
“Where’d he go?” Xander asked. Outside, a roar could be heard. Dawn, who’d been watching Spike’s escape, asked another question.
“When did he get a motorcycle?"
Author’s:
cinderella81 and
batmanvinnie
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: We are not Joss Whedon, we are not Mutant Enemy. We don’t own these characters and make no profit from this story.
Spoilers: Takes place after “Buffy vs. Dracula” in season 5. According to canon, Xander worked on that one construction job in the episode “Pangs” in season four. A few episodes later he was delivering pizza, then worked fast food again, before returning to construction., but assumes Xander didn’t start working construction until sometime in season 5, before episode 3, “The Replacement.” So this may be fudging the timeline a wee bit, but please bear with us.
Summary: Buffy casts a spell to create understanding between Spike and Xander. But it’s the Hellmouth, so of course something wonky happens.
Feedback: Please read and review! Constructive criticism welcome!
Giles pulled away, his body thrumming with excitement. To say the least, he had been surprised when Ethan had pressed their lips together. Sure, Giles had experienced feelings for him when they were younger, but he had long since repressed those. But at the touch of Ethan’s firm, smooth lips, the heady lust from his youth had filled him once again.
“What was that for?” Giles asked, blinking the tumult of emotions back into submission.
Ethan’s lips curled into that wry, seductive smile that heated Giles’ skin. “For old times sake. Listen, here’s a book. Think of it as payment for any books… or services, that you give me. You can read it or not; I don’t care. Just make sure your little ones don’t run across it.” Ethan placed a large volume into Giles’ hands. With a last caress of Giles’ hand, Ethan released the book and left the Magic Box.
Clearing his throat, Giles dropped his eyes to the weighty tome: Tantric Magic. “Good lord.”
* * *
Xander left Spike’s crypt at sundown and headed straight for the Magic Box. Every scent hit him like a Mack truck, and everything seemed so clear in twilight. Xander reveled in the joys of vampire senses, in clearly seeing individual leaves on trees yards away. To his right, he heard a slight rustling of bushes and watched, horrified, as a tall, grey demon emerged.
“Spiiike,” it wheezed. “You stole it, you have insulted our honor. It is ours….”
“Your what? Your precious?” he shot back. Wow, sarcasm sounds a lot better with the English accent.
“Our chalice,” it sneered.
“Wait, do you want the chalice from the palace with the brew that is true, or the flagon with the dragon with the pestle of poison?”
“What?” it growled, the deep sound resonating in Xander’s borrowed chest as the beast moved quickly. Fear tightening his stomach, Xander jumped back, landing six feet away.
“Holy shit,” he whispered, eyes wide, staring at the distance that now separated him and the beast. Another snarl drew him out of his shock. The demon once again charged, but it seemed slower. To Xander, it looked like the demon was running towards him through water. I’m a vamp. So is this is how vamps see everything? Wow. Studying the creature, he saw the blade it was trying to conceal in its right hand. Preparing himself for the attack, he waited. The demon stopped in front of him, and struck out with its left fist. Smirking, Xander ducked the punch, then jumping away as the demon tried to use the blade.
Moving with speed that would have stunned Xander (had he not been dealing with a strong surge of adrenaline), he threw three bone-crunching punches before weaving away. Mimicking the movements he’d watched Spike perform, he surged forward, delivered several strong hits, and then danced away from the enraged creature before it could hit back. As the fight continued, his understanding grew. Somehow, being able to see as well and as quickly as a vampire allowed Xander to analyze the movements of his opponent, studying how it moved, how it attacked. Fighting was a lot more enjoyable when you could figure out what the hell was going on.
* * *
Spike stopped in front of the Magic Box, cautious. He didn’t know what to expect if Xander was already there. Would they attack him? Hit him? Stake him while in their friend’s body? Taking a necessary breath, he opened the door an entered. Anya sat at the research table, talking with Buffy, and Willow.
Buffy turned towards him, a wide, amazed smile on her face.
“Hey Xan, how- Wow, nice look!”
Willow observed him with the same surprise, but it was centered in her resolve face. “Wow Xander, you look good. I mean, you looked good before but-. Xander, what’s wrong with you?”
“Wrong?” Spike echoed, leaning against the counter.
“Yeah, I mean, you dumped Anya, got new clothes, a new haircut and quit your job. Is something wrong?”
“Um, no. Hey, where's Tara?” he asked, hoping to change the subject. Willow frowned.
"She had a study group and don't you try to change the subject, Mister," she commanded.
“Are you absolutely certain there isn’t something… bothering you?” Giles added.
“I agree that something is wrong. While I understand that breaking up was good for our futures, I do think all this change is very strange, Xander,” Anya added.
Shit. Spike had been prepared to flee, not explain. Thinking quickly, he spoke. “The argument that Spike and I had last night, well, some of the stuff made sense. I don’t like my life as it is, so I decided to change it. At least that way he won’t have so much to tease me about.”
“Oh.” Spike heard it in surround sound, watching the heads nod in unison. Swallowing his fear, he tried to act Xander-natural.
“Yeah, well I wouldn’t count on that saving you from Spike’s barbs,” Giles pointed out. “Despite his legendary impatience, he is a rather keen observer of human- well, and demon- nature. He is incredibly bright.”
“Yeah, he really is,” Spike threw in. “Always kind of surprised me that we could beat him.”
Buffy snorted. “Not really. He may be all evil geniusy, but he has no patience.”
“Well as titillating as this discussion is, there are rumors of Vorlack demon with a blood chalice in town,” Giles added. Spike coughed mid-inhalation. The sensation of needing to breathe was still new enough that the reminder of his latest poker winnings caught him off guard. Spike sat down at the table with the rest of the Scoobies. As they were preparing to get down to researching… again, Dawn walked through the door, laden with school books. Outside, they could hear tires squealing as a Geo Metro that was sporadically covered in duct-tape took off.
“Dawnie, what are you doing here?” Buffy asked, concerned.
"Mom had a meeting tonight, so Janice and I went to get a burger. And now you get to take me home," she smiled.
"Okay, so who drove you?" Buffy pressed.
“Janice’s brother, Kyle.”
“The drug addict?”
“He’s not a drug addict, he’s just in a band,” she countered.
“Well lots of band people do drugs and stuff,” Buffy argued.
“Oz didn’t do drugs,” Willow pointed out. “Although Devon did, he was a total pot head, which explains why he went out Cordelia-.”
“What happened to Xander?” Dawn interrupted. She really didn’t want to have that conversation… again.
“Xander experienced a personal crisis. He broke up with me, quit his job, left the basement, and got a makeover. But he said we can still have orgasms together,” Anya explained. As Dawn stared, slack-jawed, Anya grabbed a clipboard and headed into the back of the store.
Giles cleared his throat. “Yes, well, we need to research, um, a demon of some sort. To fight.”
“Anyone willing to help me fight a demon named ‘algebra?’” Dawn interjected with a hopeful smile.
Everyone except Spike bustled around and found other things to do. Giles went behind the counter to organize books. Buffy went to the training room, while Willow went to the upper level to check on some spell books. Dawn sat down next to Spike and opened up her algebra book, pinning him with her best pout. Spike didn’t say anything, merely sighed; he was good at math and she needed his help. Halfway through the first problem, they realized that they needed a calculator. Spike got up and sauntered to the cash register, and grabbed the calculator. He sat back down, and noticed that Dawn had an odd look on her face.
“Xander, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“But you’re walking all different. And you hate algebra, why are you helping me?”
“Lay off, I’m fine Bit,” Spike said. He immediately regretted his choice of words as he saw the shocked look in Dawn’s eyes. Over the past couple years, he's started to swing by Joyce's house to kill lurking vamps and have a bit of hot chocolate. Sometimes, Dawn would be awake and Joyce had allowed her daughter to get close to Spike. Spike loved the little girl's irreverent and strange sense of humor, while she loved Spike's honesty and willingness to tell her the truth no one else would.
"S-Spike?” Dawn stuttered. Spike groaned.
“Shit. Yeah Niblet, it’s me. Just don’t go yelling that too loud,” he whispered, glancing at Giles.
“What happened?”
“I have absolutely no idea. But, since I’m in Xander’s body, it’s safe to assume-“
“That Xander is in your body. Wow. So, you did all this for Xander?” Dawn asked in awe, her eyes getting misty at the romantic nature of Spike's actions.
“Yeah. Felt bad for the tosser,” he smirked with false machismo. “Figured I could have some fun that wouldn’t end in him killing me when get switched back.” Dawn just grinned at him.
“You love him don’t you?”
“What? No,” he whispered harshly.
“You like Xander, you like Xander!” she taunted.
Growling he started cursing. Then seeing the small smile on her lips, he sighed. “Is it that obvious?”
“No, only to people who know how you loved Dru and know what to look for. I mean, whenever he enters the room, your whole face seems to light up with glee. No one else seems to notice, or else they just think it’s with malicious glee," she explained thoughtfully. "So, what are you going to do to prove your love?”
“What do you think I’ve been doing? This is all for him. I even got him a new job at a construction company. Yeah, he’ll have to start at the bottom, but starting pay is twice what he was making at the other job. I got him a nice apartment, and I managed to break up with Anya in a way that won’t have her after his knackers,” Spike finished righteously, before moaning. "God, I'm turning into a poofter."
“Oh my God that is so sweet!” she squealed. Two sets of eyes swung towards the giddy teenager.
“Are you alright, Dawn?” Giles asked. The girl smiled, a chill going down Spike’s spine.
“Uh, yeah. I’m just excited because Xander just promised to take Janice and me to a Backstreet Boys concert.”
Spike’s eyes widened in terror as he sputtered, “Now wait….”
Dawn faced him again, smiling. “You promised, didn’t you, Xander?” Sighing in defeat, he nodded.
"You’re evil, Bit,” he whispered.
Dawn simply smiled. “Well, I learned from the best.”
Trying to hide paternal pride from his smile, Spike turned back towards the algebra text. “So, what’s the problem here?”
“The part with the numbers and letters.”
* * *
With a triumphant roar, Xander snapped the vampire’s neck, twisting so far and hard that the head separated from its torso, blowing away in a cloud of dust.
“Yes!” he cried, pumping his now-empty hands into the air. He didn’t know how long he’d been hunting, but in that time he’d killed two demon, nine vampires, and had chased off six frat boys, ridges at the fore. He’d intended to beat the hell out of them for teasing some you kid in an X-Files tee shirt, but remembered in time that Spike’s body was chipped. So he’d settled for chasing them down the street, reveling in the sweet, pungent smell of their fear, calling out taunts as they wet themselves. Literally.
Finally, when Sunnydale seemed quiet enough, he remembered his reason for vacating the crypt. Running towards the Magic Box, he arrived in time to see Anya heading towards her car.
“Hey, Anya!” he called as he jogged towards her from across the street.
“Oh, hello Spike.” Quickly, she unlocked her door and threw her purse on the passenger seat. Waiting for her to turn around, Xander saw the boxes of belongings in her backseat.
“Um, Anya, what’s all that stuff in the back?”
“Oh, Xander broke up with me today so I’m taking my things from the basement.”
"He what?!” Xander has expected cruel jokes from Spike, perhaps multiple citations for exposing himself in public, but this, this was....
“And then he quit his job and moved out of his basement,” she rambled, getting into her car.
“WHAT?!” Xander knew vampires couldn’t have aneurysms or heart attacks, but he felt close. He stood open mouthed in shock as Anya started her car and drove off. He was going to kill Spike- as soon as he found him. What is he doing to my life? Who the Hell does he think he is? Well, besides me! Xander ranted internally as he stalked toward the Magic Box. He was so deep in his thoughts that he completely missed the fact that he was coming very close to some of the frat boys that he had chased off. It seemed that they wanted retribution.
Xander felt a hand on his shoulder, and didn’t even stop. He reached for the hand, and threw the offender over his shoulder. He quickly started to throw punches, and as soon as the guy was knocked out, Xander took a good look and realized that it was one of the drunk frat boy. Why can I beat up humans? I’m not supposed to be able to hurt humans; I’m a chipped vampire. Something weird is going on. Xander quickly resumed his path to the Magic Box, hoping that everyone was still there.
* * *
Spike and Dawn had long since finished Dawn’s homework, and were now helping research. Spike walked over to the cash register to replace the calculator, and noticed a book hidden under some paperwork. Spike picked up the book, and noticed the title; Tantric Magic.
Now, wonder where the Old Watcher got a copy of this, Spike wondered. He caught Giles’ eye, and waggled his eyebrows at him, and then laughed as Giles began to blush. Spike was about to make a lewd comment when he heard the ringing of the bell above the door. He looked up to see Xander walk in. He saw the look in Xander’s eye when he caught sight of Spike. Xander looked shocked.
My hair! My clothes, oh God, my bank account, what-.
“Spike, what do you want?” Buffy asked, interrupting Xander’s internal freaking.
“I’m outta blood,” Xander growled.
“And you’re here because …” Buffy said.
“Remembered that G, I mean Giles, had some left in his apartment. Uh, flat.”
“Yes, yes. Xander, please take Spike over to my place so he can get some blood.”
Xander and Spike both stared at Giles when he said this, Xander smiling, Spike horrified.
“WHAT?”
“Oh, come on. It won’t be that bad. You’ve done it before,” Dawn replied with a sneaky smile.
“Yeah, Xander. It’s no big deal. Just take him over, let him get his blood, and then take him to his crypt,” Buffy said.
“Nope, can’t do it. ‘Sides, isn’t there a demon you guys are looking for?” Spike asked.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” Buffy said brightly. She approached Xander and grabbed his arm.
“Here, we need you to look at these pictures. There’s some demon with a goblet that’s been tearing up pawn shops in town.”
Gritting his teeth, Xander followed Buffy to the table. Looking down, he saw a picture of the demon he’d killed earlier that night.
“It’s no problem, Slayer. I already killed it tonight," he said, smiling proudly. "Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to go to get my blood.” Turning around, he faced the counter where Spike had been standing. Only he wasn’t there.
“Where’d he go?” Xander asked. Outside, a roar could be heard. Dawn, who’d been watching Spike’s escape, asked another question.
“When did he get a motorcycle?"