Year in Vidding Review

[bop_radar]

This, my fourth vidding year, was far and away the hardest, the best, the worst, the most fun and the most ridiculous since I started. I learnt more this year than I did since my first year (I pretty much feel I learnt nothing for a good three years--I just languished around feeling dissatisfied--which probably explains the cranky malaise with

Comments

[amnisias]

*Big hug*
I love the new zen you, and it's lovely seeing you enjoying yourself again! And I totally second that motion that goals aren't really that helpful. Just taking things in your stride and going where the road takes you is way more rewarding!

[bop_radar]

Yeah, looking back at the previous years it was clear that setting goals hadn't helped at all! I get frustrated when I try to control everything about vidding... I'm learning that I can't really, things happen how they happen, take as long as they are going to take and forcing it seems to bring me heartache.

[talitha78]

- That I love vidding ITSELF, not the audience stuff so much--I was completely happy without an audience for six months

This is interesting to me, in that it is definitely different from my interaction with vidding. I don't love the process, I love the product. It's always about the audience: me. I mean, obviously I enjoy the act of putting the clips together to some extent, but what I really love is having the finished vid to watch (obsessively). Even if the vid never matches up to my vision of what it could be, the bulk of it is stuff that I like seeing. Vidding is quite a sybaritic hobby for me--it's all about the physical pleasures. Oh, and comments from other people are awesome, too. Musn't forget that! :D

[bop_radar]

I thought I didn't love the process either! But I do! :) At least most of it... I like the clipping and the editing. I don't like the kind of polishing I do on a 'big' vid--like colour correction and tricky use of filters and credits. Hate that stuff. Hate exporting. Hate the checking stages. But most of it? Yeah, I do. I was really happy puddling around and not even driven to finish things.

But I did find over time that there was a cumulative malaise from not having any finished vids to watch. It wasn't that I wasn't enjoying what I was doing, it just felt a little more directionless eventually. But connecting with enjoying the process was really good for me! :)

Of course I do enjoy the feedback very much! And now I'm back in a 'finished stuff is cool' phase again. ;)

[bop_radar]

PS. I think the other thing is that sometimes I can be such a demanding audience that I am no fun to finish a vid for... 'Some Time Around Midnight' was a classic case of that. I was dissatisfied in the face of positive (if conflicting) beta fb.

[talitha78]

I can be such a demanding audience that I am no fun to finish a vid for

Ah, yeah, I can see how that would be really tough. On the other hand, maybe I'm too easy on myself and would achieve great things if I pushed myself harder.

[bofoddity]

It's awesome that you're enjoying the vidding again! I re-discovered writing as something that I really love to do this year too, and while I do have a need for audience it's also really freeing to do something just for yourself, without the pressure of having to meet audience's imaginary standards or your own impossible standards. I'm glad that you learned so many things and your productivity in midst of the learning is really impressing, especially since you haven't even shared all of it. I wish you a rocking vidding year for 2011!

[bop_radar]

I am so glad you've found a creative form you enjoy too! And yes, I think probably a balance is good? I do enjoy vidding for an audience, very much, but it's good to know I enjoy the process without that pressure as well. Thanks very much!

[counteragent]

{{{}}}

[bop_radar]

Thanks, darl! Phew, what a year! *wipes brow* It's nice not to have fannish mental illness any more. :p