Little Boy Blue. Chapter 4
I can't believe I forgot this. I really need to remember that I'm the only one who lives in my head and therefore not everyone is going to make the connections that I do. Anyone interested in my attempts at costume design can check out Blue Beetle III and Gold Star HERE. So now you know what Goldie's blindingly gold suit looks like, as well as Junior's version of the Blue Beetle costume, which I suddenly realize I never bothered to describe except for the opaque goggles. Huzzah and things! (Also: Though you can't tell from the picture, Goldie's actually a little taller than Junior. I was having proportion issues at the time and...well. Heh.)
Beta by alba_aulbath.
CHAPTERS: { Prologue }{ Chapter One }{ Chapter Two }{ Chapter Three }{ Chapter Four }{ Chapter Five }{ Chapter Six }{ Chapter Seven }{ Chapter Eight }{ Chapter Nine }{ Chapter Ten }{ Chapter Eleven }{ Epilogue }
<-{ previous story: Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide } { next story: Mullet-verse handbook/guide }->
~4th Chapter
On TV, the news anchor was filling in the missing parts of the story. Someone-or-other evil, averted end of the world, efforts of the Justice League, extensive property damage, blah blah blah, and a puppy. Through the communication box they could hear a subdued Junior, whose voice regained most of its "perpetually cheerful" quality after Goldie threatened to tickle him. Their voices and those of other heroes provided a steady drone of chatter as they did their best to clean up some of the worst of the damage.
From the sound of it, Junior had found at least one "real," non-brainwashed zombie and seemed intent on introducing it to Batman.
Despite the lack of imminent doom for their son, Ted still felt tense. So Booster felt duty-bound to help him relax.
Alternately murmuring a formula he remembered from high school chemistry and nibbling on Ted's ear seemed to do the trick, and pretty soon Ted had melted back against him, head resting on Booster's shoulder as he hummed appreciatively.
Booster was about to make a sneak attack on the front of Ted's pants when a door slammed open and Junior's and Goldie's voices filled the house. Startled, Ted straightened, then patted Booster's arm affectionately and moved toward the lab's door.
Suppressing a groan, Booster followed.
"Oh you get along with people just fine," Goldie was saying, a smirk in her voice.
"Now see, I can't tell if you're calling me a people person or a slut," Junior said.
Goldie made a noncommittal sound.
"Hey no, now I want to know!"
"It's nice to want things," Goldie said absently. "For instance, I want clean gutters."
"I told you, that's a scientific experiment," Junior contended.
"Uh uh, don't pull that with me," Goldie countered. "I took college biology, I know science stink. The gutters smell worse than the biological waste bin on the autopsy days."
"It's chemistry--" Junior started, then caught sight of Ted and Booster emerging from the lab. He grinned and held up the plastic bag he was holding. "Chinese for dinner!"
His grin faltered as he took in their flushed appearance and he raised a hand to his eyes as he muttered, "Jeezum crow." Looking up, he said, "Uh, guys...house rule is, no nookie in the lab. I've got hazardous materials in there and I don't want them getting knocked over or contaminated or anything."
"We weren't--" Ted started to protest, blushing.
"Got it," Booster interrupted, throwing an arm over Ted's shoulders and grinning.
"Table?" Goldie asked Junior, taking the bag from him.
"Company," he agreed, and she disappeared through another door.
There was silence for a moment before Ted asked, "Is it really an experiment?"
Eyes darting to the door Goldie had gone through, Junior leaned closer and whispered, "No, but I figure I can think of something if she insists. Who knows? I might have the next penicillin growing in there."
Ted snorted and Booster grinned, muttering, "That's my boy."
Goldie reappeared moments later and said, "Chow's on." Then, throwing an arm around Junior's shoulders with a falsely sweet smile, she tweaked his ear and added, "You forgot to turn off your comm, sweetie."
Junior grimaced and let her lead him through the door.
---------------
"So there he is," Goldie said, jabbing at the air with the piece of meat speared on her fork, "In nothing but a paperbag over his head, just completely unconcerned with that whole nudity taboo thing."
Junior snorted, pausing in his excavation of baby corns from a carton with his chopsticks. "Please. I'm practically naked in the suit anyway. The only difference is that it keeps me from dangling."
"Thank you, Junior," Goldie said dryly. "You always know how to spice up a conversation with vivid imagery."
Giving an absent, sloppy salute with his chopsticks, Junior returned his attention to the carton.
"Where was I?" Goldie asked Ted and Booster.
"Paperbag and public indecency," Ted prompted around a bite of sweet and sour pork.
"Right!" Goldie jabbed the meat in his direction, then popped it in her mouth. "Anyway, he gets up there, and of course it takes him forever to notice that everyone's staring at him. So," she snickered, "he just looks around at everyone, totally confused. And when Flash sorta clears his throat and points at him, it looks like he finally gets it." She squeezed her eyes shut and sniggered for a moment. "But no! He thinks everyone's staring at the bag! Blames me for the crappy beetle picture on it! No one had the heart to explain, so someone finally just said he looked chilly and let him borrow their cape!"
Pounding a fist on the table, Goldie guffawed and Ted and Booster joined in. Junior just shook his head, grinning in amusement at them.
Wiping tears from her eyes, Goldie asked breathlessly, "Hey whose cape was that?"
Junior shook his head. "Don't remember." He looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "It was blue."
"Yeah, yeah!" Goldie agreed, snapping her fingers and pointing at him. "You said you were good to go again, 'cause it was blue and the bag had a beetle, so you were still keeping with the theme."
"This is completely backwards, you know," Junior remarked.
Goldie tilted her head. "Backwards?"
"It's supposed to be my folks telling my friends embarrassing stories about me, not the other way around."
Goldie waved a hand dismissively. "Doesn't count. You're not embarrassed."
"And photos," Junior continued musingly.
"Ooh!" Goldie squealed, grinning mischievously. "I have pictures!"
"No you don't."
"Yes I do. I'm gonna show 'em the nipple suit."
"No you won't."
Goldie stuck her tongue out at him. "Too!"
"No you won't, because I burned them," Junior said matter-of-factly.
Booster choked on a chestnut, laughing, while Goldie huffed indignantly.
"Fine," she said. "I'll just show them the copies on my computer."
"Deleted 'em." Junior sing-songed, twirling his chopsticks.
Goldie narrowed her eyes at him and Junior just grinned in response. "...I'll have to show them the ones I saved online, then," she challenged.
Pausing thoughtfully, Junior raised an eyebrow at her. Goldie raised one right back and smirked. She frowned suspiciously when Junior smirked back. Ted and Booster watched their byplay with interest.
Finally, Junior reached up to the goggles resting on top of his head and yanked them over his eyes. Reaching into a pocket, he swiftly donned his Blue Beetle gloves and purposefully touched the small ovals on the backs of them.
"What are you--You're not!" Goldie protested.
Junior just smirked and started making typing motions on the table. Goldie shrieked and bolted from the table, knocking her chair over. There was a sound of doors slamming and after a moment, during which Junior continued typing, her voice rang through the house.
"Bastard!"
Snickering, Junior finally stopped. Touching the ovals again, he took the gloves off and put them away. Then he shoved his goggles back on top of his head and resumed eating.
"Aaand what was that about?" Ted asked curiously.
"Hacked her account and removed the pictures," Junior said calmly, his mouth twitching with amusement. He glanced up and winked. "Don't tell her, I just moved them."
Laughing, they returned to their meal, only briefly interrupted when Goldie returned. She punched Junior in the arm, righted her chair, sat down again, and began another story as if nothing had happened.
---------------
"Okay, obviously you can't stay here," Junior said after dinner had been cleared off the table. "That whole...unraveling the space-time continuum...thing."
"That's bad," Goldie pointed out helpfully.
"Right. Plus I'm sure the, uh past me is...missing you," Junior added, fidgeting. He cleared his throat and spread his hands. "Anyway, the way I see it we have two problems. We need to get you guys back, and we need to get my parents...er, the future you...um, back."
"That part'll have to wait till Inquiry wakes up, and he's still out cold," Goldie said.
"How, exactly, did you get us here in the first place?" Ted asked, leaning his elbows on the table.
"And what does...what's his name again?"
"Question."
"Right," Booster continued. "What does Question have to do with it? I thought he was just psycho."
"He is," Goldie muttered, rolling her eyes.
Junior shot her a look, then turned back to his time-displaced parents. "Um...he's been helping me find y--my folks." He shook his head. "But something went wrong and...." He trailed off and gestured toward them wryly.
"That's another thing," Ted said, frowning. "What happened to...the future us? Went missing where? How?"
Goldie opened her mouth to speak, but Junior suddenly snapped his fingers in front of her face. When she indignantly turned to him, he started moving his hands in jerky, purposeful movements. It took Ted a few moments to realize that it was sign language.
"I would not," Goldie protested.
Mouth pressed in a thin line, Junior's signing grew jerkier and more emphatic. Finally Goldie sighed irritably and crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine," she muttered.
"What the hell was that about?" Ted demanded.
Junior sighed and set his hands on the table as he turned to face them again. "In the interests of not wiping my current self from existence, there are some things...you can't know. About now. About things that happened after your time and before this one. And...as much as I...wish I could tell you some things. I don't know, warn you. I...It would be selfish." He looked at them pleadingly. "I mean...I went to a bachelor party recently. Okay? If I tell you something, and you...change the past...like, are they still going to get married?" He stared down at his hands as he clasped them. "I don't have the right to screw with the timeline like that."
Ted glanced at Booster, who met his eyes with an unhappy look on his face. He wondered, not for the first time, whether the man had changed things that were supposed to happen. And if so, how much?
"That's why I was...." Junior motioned vaguely with his hands to indicate his earlier signing. "So you wouldn't know what I was saying."
"How'd you know we wouldn't understand?" Booster asked curiously.
Junior looked startled and glanced at Goldie briefly before looking back at them and saying, "Well...because you had to learn when I went deaf."
There was silence for a moment as his words sunk in before....
"What?!" Ted blurted as Booster asked, "You're deaf?"
Junior glanced from one to the other, then blinked. "No," he said hurriedly. "No, no. It was only temporary. I got better." He smiled wryly and pointed to his ear. "Well, mostly. I'm still a little deaf in this ear, but it's the one I keep my comm in so usually I don't even notice. And I'll probably get it back eventually." He shrugged. "It didn't last long, but it was still long enough that I had to, um, like prepare for the possibility that I wouldn't get better."
"Oh," Ted muttered thoughtfully.
Shaking his head, Junior raised his hands. "Anyway, that's not important right now. We need to find a way to get you back."
"Preparations are being made," a rough voice spoke up from the doorway.
The group looked up, startled, to find the Question standing there. His face was still smooth and featureless, but his clothing was rumpled from being slept in. Turning his head to face Junior, he said in a voice still gruff with sleep, "You need to locate a Russian satellite. 4578 CCCP. I'll explain tomorrow."
With that, he snatched a fortune cookie from the counter and retreated back through the door.
There was a minute of silence following his exit before Junior and Goldie looked at each other. Junior jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "I'll...go talk to Max."
"I'll show them the guest room," Goldie replied, pointing to Ted and Booster.
As Junior got up and left, Goldie turned to their guests and smiled. "Okay, so...." She shrugged helplessly and stood up, motioning for them to follow her. "Right. Guest room. Must be well-rested to hear the words of Captain Cryptic."
---------------
"Who dares disturb the great and powerful OMAX?" a deep, synthesized voice demanded. On the nearby screen, the red pupil of a stylized eye glowed ominously.
"Your favorite uncle come to see you about a man behind a curtain," Junior replied, covering a yawn with his hand.
The picture zoomed out to reveal the same stylized eye set on the face of a silver-skinned brunette. "What's up?" Max asked, his voice still synthesized but not as deep.
"I need any information you can get me on a Russian satellite with the serial number 4578 CCCP," Junior said. "Including location."
The blue glow of Max's pupilless eye briefly flared. "Scanning," he reported. "Why the sudden interest?"
Junior shrugged, his expression bewildered. "Dunno yet. Tell you more tomorrow."
Max gave a brief hum of agreement, still staring at him. Junior was used to it, but many people found it disconcerting that the man's eyes didn't really move. "So how are you?" he asked.
"Good," Junior said with a shrug, then grinned. "Saved the world earlier."
"Yes, I heard," Max murmured distractedly. "Saw. Congratulations on the puppy, makes for good PR. Joker toxin out of your system?"
"Only got enough to make me a little giddy," Junior assured him. "And I got a dose of antitoxin."
"Good for you, now stop being dense and answer my question. How are you?"
Junior just cocked his head and smiled with innocent confusion.
Sighing, Max bowed his head for a moment, then looked up again and leaned forward. "Look, I get status reports," he said in exasperation. "But that's all they are. Cut, dry, no details. So tell me, in your own, human, emotion-tainted words...how are you?"
"You, ah...remember that time we snuck into the Watchtower?" Junior said slowly.
Max frowned suspiciously. "Yeaaah?"
A wide grin spread across Junior's face as he said, "Me too."
Staring at him for a moment, Max suddenly grinned too. "You rat fink," he laughed.
Junior chuckled and mimed knocking on his head. "Your little buggies are working, Max. I'm not even getting headaches anymore."
"See, that's the kind of thing the nanites can't tell me," Max chided, shaking his head. "Keep me updated, huh?"
"Will do," Junior mumbled around a yawn.
"And get to bed, you need your beauty sleep. OMAX out."
Junior chuckled. "'Night, Max."
---------------
"And if you need anything, don't hesitate to try to find it yourself," Goldie told them cheerfully from the doorway. "Night night!" With that, she left, closing the door behind her.
Ted looked at Booster.
Booster looked at Ted.
They both looked at the guest room's bed.
Ted looked at Booster.
Booster leered at Ted.
"Did you suddenly magically become blond again and my eyes haven't caught up?" Ted asked, raising an eyebrow.
Booster rolled his eyes. "You're just nervous."
"To experience gay sex for the very first time?" Ted said sarcastically. "Now why would you think that? What possible reason could I have to be nervous about that? Why can't you just accept my stalling tactic at face value?"
Snickering, Booster snagged Ted's arm and tugged him close. "Don't you trust me?"
"Haven't we had that conversation before?"
"And as I recall you were snarky and mean." Booster pouted at him.
Ted grimaced and looked away from him. Booster's pout could be lethal; god help them if Junior inherited it. Sighing, he met Booster's eyes and said, "Fine. Booster, buddy, pal, mother of my child--"
"Hey!"
"Yes, I trust you. Happy?"
"I could be happier," Booster said suggestively, wagging his eyebrows and grinning.
"I'm sticking by my stalling tactic," Ted informed him sternly.
Booster eyed him dubiously for a moment, then smirked. "In quantum theory," he started purposefully.
"Dirty pool!" Ted protested. "That's not playing fair!"
"Not playing, Ted," Booster informed him, sliding his arms around the man's waist. "Observation causes possible states to--"
Ted groaned and pressed his mouth to Booster's to stop the flow of intellectualism. Booster had no objections to that and tightened his arms, working his hands under Ted's shirt. At the feeling of skin on skin, Ted broke the kiss and stared at Booster dazedly.
"When we get home," he breathed. "Give me till then."
Smiling, Booster nodded and pulled Ted close, nuzzling his neck. "I'll hold you to that."
"I wouldn't expect anything less," Ted said wryly.
---------------
Half asleep, Goldie floated back to full consciousness when she heard a sound at her door. Lifting herself up by her elbows, she peered through the dark at the pale figure in her doorway.
"Can't sleep?" she asked.
"No," Junior said quietly. She could see him fidget nervously. "Um...can I...?"
Scooting over, Goldie flipped her covers open in invitation and laid back down. She could almost see the bright slash of his relieved grin as he walked closer and climbed in beside her.
"Thanks, Goldie," he murmured, settling in next to her.
His arm settled over her tank top-covered middle and as she moved the arm closest to him comfortably, she thought she recognized the feel of the pajamas she gave him last Christmas. The blue ones with the insect pattern on them that he had loved so much that he actually wore them to work the next day.
"This is why you can't keep a girlfriend, you know," she said.
Junior shifted sleepily, the beginnings of stubble brushing against her shoulder. "Hm?"
"Nothin'," Goldie said, smiling up into the darkness as she petted his hair. "Go to sleep, babe."
-----
[ETA of chapter the fifth: plotted]
Mullet-verse handbook/guide. (AKA "Are you as lost as I am?")
Beta by alba_aulbath.
CHAPTERS: { Prologue }{ Chapter One }{ Chapter Two }{ Chapter Three }{ Chapter Four }{ Chapter Five }{ Chapter Six }{ Chapter Seven }{ Chapter Eight }{ Chapter Nine }{ Chapter Ten }{ Chapter Eleven }{ Epilogue }
<-{ previous story: Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide } { next story: Mullet-verse handbook/guide }->
~4th Chapter
On TV, the news anchor was filling in the missing parts of the story. Someone-or-other evil, averted end of the world, efforts of the Justice League, extensive property damage, blah blah blah, and a puppy. Through the communication box they could hear a subdued Junior, whose voice regained most of its "perpetually cheerful" quality after Goldie threatened to tickle him. Their voices and those of other heroes provided a steady drone of chatter as they did their best to clean up some of the worst of the damage.
From the sound of it, Junior had found at least one "real," non-brainwashed zombie and seemed intent on introducing it to Batman.
Despite the lack of imminent doom for their son, Ted still felt tense. So Booster felt duty-bound to help him relax.
Alternately murmuring a formula he remembered from high school chemistry and nibbling on Ted's ear seemed to do the trick, and pretty soon Ted had melted back against him, head resting on Booster's shoulder as he hummed appreciatively.
Booster was about to make a sneak attack on the front of Ted's pants when a door slammed open and Junior's and Goldie's voices filled the house. Startled, Ted straightened, then patted Booster's arm affectionately and moved toward the lab's door.
Suppressing a groan, Booster followed.
"Oh you get along with people just fine," Goldie was saying, a smirk in her voice.
"Now see, I can't tell if you're calling me a people person or a slut," Junior said.
Goldie made a noncommittal sound.
"Hey no, now I want to know!"
"It's nice to want things," Goldie said absently. "For instance, I want clean gutters."
"I told you, that's a scientific experiment," Junior contended.
"Uh uh, don't pull that with me," Goldie countered. "I took college biology, I know science stink. The gutters smell worse than the biological waste bin on the autopsy days."
"It's chemistry--" Junior started, then caught sight of Ted and Booster emerging from the lab. He grinned and held up the plastic bag he was holding. "Chinese for dinner!"
His grin faltered as he took in their flushed appearance and he raised a hand to his eyes as he muttered, "Jeezum crow." Looking up, he said, "Uh, guys...house rule is, no nookie in the lab. I've got hazardous materials in there and I don't want them getting knocked over or contaminated or anything."
"We weren't--" Ted started to protest, blushing.
"Got it," Booster interrupted, throwing an arm over Ted's shoulders and grinning.
"Table?" Goldie asked Junior, taking the bag from him.
"Company," he agreed, and she disappeared through another door.
There was silence for a moment before Ted asked, "Is it really an experiment?"
Eyes darting to the door Goldie had gone through, Junior leaned closer and whispered, "No, but I figure I can think of something if she insists. Who knows? I might have the next penicillin growing in there."
Ted snorted and Booster grinned, muttering, "That's my boy."
Goldie reappeared moments later and said, "Chow's on." Then, throwing an arm around Junior's shoulders with a falsely sweet smile, she tweaked his ear and added, "You forgot to turn off your comm, sweetie."
Junior grimaced and let her lead him through the door.
---------------
"So there he is," Goldie said, jabbing at the air with the piece of meat speared on her fork, "In nothing but a paperbag over his head, just completely unconcerned with that whole nudity taboo thing."
Junior snorted, pausing in his excavation of baby corns from a carton with his chopsticks. "Please. I'm practically naked in the suit anyway. The only difference is that it keeps me from dangling."
"Thank you, Junior," Goldie said dryly. "You always know how to spice up a conversation with vivid imagery."
Giving an absent, sloppy salute with his chopsticks, Junior returned his attention to the carton.
"Where was I?" Goldie asked Ted and Booster.
"Paperbag and public indecency," Ted prompted around a bite of sweet and sour pork.
"Right!" Goldie jabbed the meat in his direction, then popped it in her mouth. "Anyway, he gets up there, and of course it takes him forever to notice that everyone's staring at him. So," she snickered, "he just looks around at everyone, totally confused. And when Flash sorta clears his throat and points at him, it looks like he finally gets it." She squeezed her eyes shut and sniggered for a moment. "But no! He thinks everyone's staring at the bag! Blames me for the crappy beetle picture on it! No one had the heart to explain, so someone finally just said he looked chilly and let him borrow their cape!"
Pounding a fist on the table, Goldie guffawed and Ted and Booster joined in. Junior just shook his head, grinning in amusement at them.
Wiping tears from her eyes, Goldie asked breathlessly, "Hey whose cape was that?"
Junior shook his head. "Don't remember." He looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "It was blue."
"Yeah, yeah!" Goldie agreed, snapping her fingers and pointing at him. "You said you were good to go again, 'cause it was blue and the bag had a beetle, so you were still keeping with the theme."
"This is completely backwards, you know," Junior remarked.
Goldie tilted her head. "Backwards?"
"It's supposed to be my folks telling my friends embarrassing stories about me, not the other way around."
Goldie waved a hand dismissively. "Doesn't count. You're not embarrassed."
"And photos," Junior continued musingly.
"Ooh!" Goldie squealed, grinning mischievously. "I have pictures!"
"No you don't."
"Yes I do. I'm gonna show 'em the nipple suit."
"No you won't."
Goldie stuck her tongue out at him. "Too!"
"No you won't, because I burned them," Junior said matter-of-factly.
Booster choked on a chestnut, laughing, while Goldie huffed indignantly.
"Fine," she said. "I'll just show them the copies on my computer."
"Deleted 'em." Junior sing-songed, twirling his chopsticks.
Goldie narrowed her eyes at him and Junior just grinned in response. "...I'll have to show them the ones I saved online, then," she challenged.
Pausing thoughtfully, Junior raised an eyebrow at her. Goldie raised one right back and smirked. She frowned suspiciously when Junior smirked back. Ted and Booster watched their byplay with interest.
Finally, Junior reached up to the goggles resting on top of his head and yanked them over his eyes. Reaching into a pocket, he swiftly donned his Blue Beetle gloves and purposefully touched the small ovals on the backs of them.
"What are you--You're not!" Goldie protested.
Junior just smirked and started making typing motions on the table. Goldie shrieked and bolted from the table, knocking her chair over. There was a sound of doors slamming and after a moment, during which Junior continued typing, her voice rang through the house.
"Bastard!"
Snickering, Junior finally stopped. Touching the ovals again, he took the gloves off and put them away. Then he shoved his goggles back on top of his head and resumed eating.
"Aaand what was that about?" Ted asked curiously.
"Hacked her account and removed the pictures," Junior said calmly, his mouth twitching with amusement. He glanced up and winked. "Don't tell her, I just moved them."
Laughing, they returned to their meal, only briefly interrupted when Goldie returned. She punched Junior in the arm, righted her chair, sat down again, and began another story as if nothing had happened.
---------------
"Okay, obviously you can't stay here," Junior said after dinner had been cleared off the table. "That whole...unraveling the space-time continuum...thing."
"That's bad," Goldie pointed out helpfully.
"Right. Plus I'm sure the, uh past me is...missing you," Junior added, fidgeting. He cleared his throat and spread his hands. "Anyway, the way I see it we have two problems. We need to get you guys back, and we need to get my parents...er, the future you...um, back."
"That part'll have to wait till Inquiry wakes up, and he's still out cold," Goldie said.
"How, exactly, did you get us here in the first place?" Ted asked, leaning his elbows on the table.
"And what does...what's his name again?"
"Question."
"Right," Booster continued. "What does Question have to do with it? I thought he was just psycho."
"He is," Goldie muttered, rolling her eyes.
Junior shot her a look, then turned back to his time-displaced parents. "Um...he's been helping me find y--my folks." He shook his head. "But something went wrong and...." He trailed off and gestured toward them wryly.
"That's another thing," Ted said, frowning. "What happened to...the future us? Went missing where? How?"
Goldie opened her mouth to speak, but Junior suddenly snapped his fingers in front of her face. When she indignantly turned to him, he started moving his hands in jerky, purposeful movements. It took Ted a few moments to realize that it was sign language.
"I would not," Goldie protested.
Mouth pressed in a thin line, Junior's signing grew jerkier and more emphatic. Finally Goldie sighed irritably and crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine," she muttered.
"What the hell was that about?" Ted demanded.
Junior sighed and set his hands on the table as he turned to face them again. "In the interests of not wiping my current self from existence, there are some things...you can't know. About now. About things that happened after your time and before this one. And...as much as I...wish I could tell you some things. I don't know, warn you. I...It would be selfish." He looked at them pleadingly. "I mean...I went to a bachelor party recently. Okay? If I tell you something, and you...change the past...like, are they still going to get married?" He stared down at his hands as he clasped them. "I don't have the right to screw with the timeline like that."
Ted glanced at Booster, who met his eyes with an unhappy look on his face. He wondered, not for the first time, whether the man had changed things that were supposed to happen. And if so, how much?
"That's why I was...." Junior motioned vaguely with his hands to indicate his earlier signing. "So you wouldn't know what I was saying."
"How'd you know we wouldn't understand?" Booster asked curiously.
Junior looked startled and glanced at Goldie briefly before looking back at them and saying, "Well...because you had to learn when I went deaf."
There was silence for a moment as his words sunk in before....
"What?!" Ted blurted as Booster asked, "You're deaf?"
Junior glanced from one to the other, then blinked. "No," he said hurriedly. "No, no. It was only temporary. I got better." He smiled wryly and pointed to his ear. "Well, mostly. I'm still a little deaf in this ear, but it's the one I keep my comm in so usually I don't even notice. And I'll probably get it back eventually." He shrugged. "It didn't last long, but it was still long enough that I had to, um, like prepare for the possibility that I wouldn't get better."
"Oh," Ted muttered thoughtfully.
Shaking his head, Junior raised his hands. "Anyway, that's not important right now. We need to find a way to get you back."
"Preparations are being made," a rough voice spoke up from the doorway.
The group looked up, startled, to find the Question standing there. His face was still smooth and featureless, but his clothing was rumpled from being slept in. Turning his head to face Junior, he said in a voice still gruff with sleep, "You need to locate a Russian satellite. 4578 CCCP. I'll explain tomorrow."
With that, he snatched a fortune cookie from the counter and retreated back through the door.
There was a minute of silence following his exit before Junior and Goldie looked at each other. Junior jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "I'll...go talk to Max."
"I'll show them the guest room," Goldie replied, pointing to Ted and Booster.
As Junior got up and left, Goldie turned to their guests and smiled. "Okay, so...." She shrugged helplessly and stood up, motioning for them to follow her. "Right. Guest room. Must be well-rested to hear the words of Captain Cryptic."
---------------
"Who dares disturb the great and powerful OMAX?" a deep, synthesized voice demanded. On the nearby screen, the red pupil of a stylized eye glowed ominously.
"Your favorite uncle come to see you about a man behind a curtain," Junior replied, covering a yawn with his hand.
The picture zoomed out to reveal the same stylized eye set on the face of a silver-skinned brunette. "What's up?" Max asked, his voice still synthesized but not as deep.
"I need any information you can get me on a Russian satellite with the serial number 4578 CCCP," Junior said. "Including location."
The blue glow of Max's pupilless eye briefly flared. "Scanning," he reported. "Why the sudden interest?"
Junior shrugged, his expression bewildered. "Dunno yet. Tell you more tomorrow."
Max gave a brief hum of agreement, still staring at him. Junior was used to it, but many people found it disconcerting that the man's eyes didn't really move. "So how are you?" he asked.
"Good," Junior said with a shrug, then grinned. "Saved the world earlier."
"Yes, I heard," Max murmured distractedly. "Saw. Congratulations on the puppy, makes for good PR. Joker toxin out of your system?"
"Only got enough to make me a little giddy," Junior assured him. "And I got a dose of antitoxin."
"Good for you, now stop being dense and answer my question. How are you?"
Junior just cocked his head and smiled with innocent confusion.
Sighing, Max bowed his head for a moment, then looked up again and leaned forward. "Look, I get status reports," he said in exasperation. "But that's all they are. Cut, dry, no details. So tell me, in your own, human, emotion-tainted words...how are you?"
"You, ah...remember that time we snuck into the Watchtower?" Junior said slowly.
Max frowned suspiciously. "Yeaaah?"
A wide grin spread across Junior's face as he said, "Me too."
Staring at him for a moment, Max suddenly grinned too. "You rat fink," he laughed.
Junior chuckled and mimed knocking on his head. "Your little buggies are working, Max. I'm not even getting headaches anymore."
"See, that's the kind of thing the nanites can't tell me," Max chided, shaking his head. "Keep me updated, huh?"
"Will do," Junior mumbled around a yawn.
"And get to bed, you need your beauty sleep. OMAX out."
Junior chuckled. "'Night, Max."
---------------
"And if you need anything, don't hesitate to try to find it yourself," Goldie told them cheerfully from the doorway. "Night night!" With that, she left, closing the door behind her.
Ted looked at Booster.
Booster looked at Ted.
They both looked at the guest room's bed.
Ted looked at Booster.
Booster leered at Ted.
"Did you suddenly magically become blond again and my eyes haven't caught up?" Ted asked, raising an eyebrow.
Booster rolled his eyes. "You're just nervous."
"To experience gay sex for the very first time?" Ted said sarcastically. "Now why would you think that? What possible reason could I have to be nervous about that? Why can't you just accept my stalling tactic at face value?"
Snickering, Booster snagged Ted's arm and tugged him close. "Don't you trust me?"
"Haven't we had that conversation before?"
"And as I recall you were snarky and mean." Booster pouted at him.
Ted grimaced and looked away from him. Booster's pout could be lethal; god help them if Junior inherited it. Sighing, he met Booster's eyes and said, "Fine. Booster, buddy, pal, mother of my child--"
"Hey!"
"Yes, I trust you. Happy?"
"I could be happier," Booster said suggestively, wagging his eyebrows and grinning.
"I'm sticking by my stalling tactic," Ted informed him sternly.
Booster eyed him dubiously for a moment, then smirked. "In quantum theory," he started purposefully.
"Dirty pool!" Ted protested. "That's not playing fair!"
"Not playing, Ted," Booster informed him, sliding his arms around the man's waist. "Observation causes possible states to--"
Ted groaned and pressed his mouth to Booster's to stop the flow of intellectualism. Booster had no objections to that and tightened his arms, working his hands under Ted's shirt. At the feeling of skin on skin, Ted broke the kiss and stared at Booster dazedly.
"When we get home," he breathed. "Give me till then."
Smiling, Booster nodded and pulled Ted close, nuzzling his neck. "I'll hold you to that."
"I wouldn't expect anything less," Ted said wryly.
---------------
Half asleep, Goldie floated back to full consciousness when she heard a sound at her door. Lifting herself up by her elbows, she peered through the dark at the pale figure in her doorway.
"Can't sleep?" she asked.
"No," Junior said quietly. She could see him fidget nervously. "Um...can I...?"
Scooting over, Goldie flipped her covers open in invitation and laid back down. She could almost see the bright slash of his relieved grin as he walked closer and climbed in beside her.
"Thanks, Goldie," he murmured, settling in next to her.
His arm settled over her tank top-covered middle and as she moved the arm closest to him comfortably, she thought she recognized the feel of the pajamas she gave him last Christmas. The blue ones with the insect pattern on them that he had loved so much that he actually wore them to work the next day.
"This is why you can't keep a girlfriend, you know," she said.
Junior shifted sleepily, the beginnings of stubble brushing against her shoulder. "Hm?"
"Nothin'," Goldie said, smiling up into the darkness as she petted his hair. "Go to sleep, babe."
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[ETA of chapter the fifth: plotted]
Mullet-verse handbook/guide. (AKA "Are you as lost as I am?")