Irresistible, part 1: Make Way for Ducklings
This is sort of answering the "sex pollen" challenge, only without the pollen. But there will be another plot device to make up for it.
This takes place in JLI days, I guess, but like so many others, I discovered Beetle and Booster through scans_daily, so I'm a little vague on canon. Hopefully it shouldn't be too much of an issue.
Blue Beetle was bored.
So very, very bored.
He was on late-night monitor duty for a month. J’onn swore it was just luck of the draw, but Beetle knew better. He was being punished. It wasn’t fair. He hadn’t done anything wrong this time.
Was it his fault that a duck had built a nest in his yard? No.
And did he have anything to do with a dog chasing the duck off? Of course not.
And as a hero, a role model to young children, a leader in the business world, an upstanding member of the community, and an all around good guy, it was his duty to save the abandoned eggs. To give them the chance to hatch, to grow, to thrive; to succeed in this hard world after cruel fate forced their loving mother to abandon them, fleeing for her own life, distracting the monster that menaced her and her babies, hoping that some how, her children would survive without her. To have turned a blind eye to their fate would have been unforgivable. To give them the chance not only to survive, but to rise above the adversity of their childhood was the American Way!
J’onn hadn’t been nearly as impressed with the speech as Beetle had hoped, but Booster had said it was very nice.
Considering how much time Beetle spent at JLI headquarters, it made sense to keep the incubator here instead of at his house. It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t there when the eggs hatched. J’onn was the one who sent him to deal with a bank robbery. Beetle had had it all planned out. He had a nice big crate ready for them, with towels and food and hot water bottles for them to snuggle up to and a toy duck so they would know what Mommy looked like. It wasn’t his fault J’onn had gotten curious about the muffled peeping, gone into Beetle’s room, and opened the incubator. By now, J’onn should know the best response to strange noises was to close the door and avoid that area of the hallway.
No, it most certainly was not Beetle’s fault the ducklings had imprinted on J’onn.
It also wasn’t his fault that everyone laughed when J’onn had entered the room with ten ducklings trailing behind him. Even Batman had smiled! Beetle should get a reward for making the Humorless Knight smile! But instead, Beetle was on monitor duty, even though everyone, including J’onn, had agreed he hadn’t done anything wrong.
It was unjust, a clear violation of the Justice League charter.
Did they have a charter?
Not important, Beetle decided after a few minutes trying to remember if the mind-numbingly dull meetings about voting on a mission statement had been with his fellow heroes or some managers at Kord Industries.
To kill time, and to erase the image of balding, overweight, micromanaging managers in brightly-colored spandex, Beetle turned to the database. He really should familiarize himself with the villains before he had to fight them. It was the strategic thing to do. Batman probably studied these files all the time.
A quick search on villains, females, and redheads (a small, limited search was the best place to start this kind of research) effectively erased his earlier mental images.
The file on Poison Ivy was surprisingly long. Skimming through it, Beetle realized that Batman had accidentally uploaded his personal file instead of the shorter versions he usually shared with the rest of the League. Not only did this have an overview of her powers, weaknesses, and M.O., but it had her personal history, list of victims, a complete psych evaluation from Arkham (how had Bats gotten his hands on that?), and--Beetle’s eyes widened--a chemical analysis of Ivy’s blood, sweat, and lipstick.
Beetle stared at the complex formula before him. Batman had actually isolated the chemicals that made Ivy irresistible. And the fool wasn’t doing anything with it!
Beetle cackled as he printed out the page. This had so many possibilities.
To Be Continued
Author's notes: Thanks to the people involved in the comment porn that was posted way back when the community first started--they gave me the idea to use Poison Ivy.
The ducklings are mallards. Because I like mallards and think black and yellow ducklings are cuter than the all yellow ones.
This takes place in JLI days, I guess, but like so many others, I discovered Beetle and Booster through scans_daily, so I'm a little vague on canon. Hopefully it shouldn't be too much of an issue.
Blue Beetle was bored.
So very, very bored.
He was on late-night monitor duty for a month. J’onn swore it was just luck of the draw, but Beetle knew better. He was being punished. It wasn’t fair. He hadn’t done anything wrong this time.
Was it his fault that a duck had built a nest in his yard? No.
And did he have anything to do with a dog chasing the duck off? Of course not.
And as a hero, a role model to young children, a leader in the business world, an upstanding member of the community, and an all around good guy, it was his duty to save the abandoned eggs. To give them the chance to hatch, to grow, to thrive; to succeed in this hard world after cruel fate forced their loving mother to abandon them, fleeing for her own life, distracting the monster that menaced her and her babies, hoping that some how, her children would survive without her. To have turned a blind eye to their fate would have been unforgivable. To give them the chance not only to survive, but to rise above the adversity of their childhood was the American Way!
J’onn hadn’t been nearly as impressed with the speech as Beetle had hoped, but Booster had said it was very nice.
Considering how much time Beetle spent at JLI headquarters, it made sense to keep the incubator here instead of at his house. It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t there when the eggs hatched. J’onn was the one who sent him to deal with a bank robbery. Beetle had had it all planned out. He had a nice big crate ready for them, with towels and food and hot water bottles for them to snuggle up to and a toy duck so they would know what Mommy looked like. It wasn’t his fault J’onn had gotten curious about the muffled peeping, gone into Beetle’s room, and opened the incubator. By now, J’onn should know the best response to strange noises was to close the door and avoid that area of the hallway.
No, it most certainly was not Beetle’s fault the ducklings had imprinted on J’onn.
It also wasn’t his fault that everyone laughed when J’onn had entered the room with ten ducklings trailing behind him. Even Batman had smiled! Beetle should get a reward for making the Humorless Knight smile! But instead, Beetle was on monitor duty, even though everyone, including J’onn, had agreed he hadn’t done anything wrong.
It was unjust, a clear violation of the Justice League charter.
Did they have a charter?
Not important, Beetle decided after a few minutes trying to remember if the mind-numbingly dull meetings about voting on a mission statement had been with his fellow heroes or some managers at Kord Industries.
To kill time, and to erase the image of balding, overweight, micromanaging managers in brightly-colored spandex, Beetle turned to the database. He really should familiarize himself with the villains before he had to fight them. It was the strategic thing to do. Batman probably studied these files all the time.
A quick search on villains, females, and redheads (a small, limited search was the best place to start this kind of research) effectively erased his earlier mental images.
The file on Poison Ivy was surprisingly long. Skimming through it, Beetle realized that Batman had accidentally uploaded his personal file instead of the shorter versions he usually shared with the rest of the League. Not only did this have an overview of her powers, weaknesses, and M.O., but it had her personal history, list of victims, a complete psych evaluation from Arkham (how had Bats gotten his hands on that?), and--Beetle’s eyes widened--a chemical analysis of Ivy’s blood, sweat, and lipstick.
Beetle stared at the complex formula before him. Batman had actually isolated the chemicals that made Ivy irresistible. And the fool wasn’t doing anything with it!
Beetle cackled as he printed out the page. This had so many possibilities.
To Be Continued
Author's notes: Thanks to the people involved in the comment porn that was posted way back when the community first started--they gave me the idea to use Poison Ivy.
The ducklings are mallards. Because I like mallards and think black and yellow ducklings are cuter than the all yellow ones.