Title: Safety First!
Rating: 15
Setting: Farscape season 2
Characters: John Crichton, Harvey
Word count: 375
Disclaimer: Nothing connected with Farscape is mine. Rats.
Summary: John Crichton re-discovers the worst person to be stuck in space with.
Author's Notes: Originally written for
norwegianne, based on her icon.
Frell!! Couldn’t anyone tie knots in safety lines anymore?
John Crichton was really not happy as he floated there in space, his pale blue spacesuit slowly drifting away from Moya. The cable in his hand was slack and obviously not attached to the spaceship any more.
“Ah! Hello there, John!” came a familiar voice from beside him.
John closed his eyes in sheer exasperation, and slowly opened them to examine the sight before him. Yup, there was Scorpy’s leather headwear, the Hawaiian shirt and shorts, and general cheery annoying manner. Though the table covered with drinks was new. All of them floating through space alongside him.
“Harvey,” he said through gritted teeth, “Now is not a good time for me to chat, ok? I’d prefer to die quietly with no annoying back chat.”
Harvey tipped back his Mai Tai, and stirred the cocktail with his little umbrella. “John, John, John… I am shocked and upset at your comments,” he smiled. “But let us not forget that I too am trapped in your head, and if you die, so do I.”
John just glared at him. “And that’s why the sudden appearance like that? Drowning your sorrows or just glad to see me snuff it?”
“No, no, no, John,” Harvey smiled, and snapped his fingers. A whiteboard appeared, also floating alongside them. “You see, there was only one person responsible for attaching your safety line to Moya, and that would be yourself.”
John’s brows quirked. “Yeeeess, that’s true.”
“So, doubtless your fellow cretins on board will have noticed you missing by now, and will probably find you in a couple of hours before the air runs out,” Harvey explained, taking out a marker pen and crossing to where the board was.
“But until they come, John, I think it’s time to have a little refresher course on safety,” Harvey said, carefully writing the words ”SAFETY FIRST” on the board. Somehow, he was now wearing a teacher’s mortarboard on top of his mask.
“So, who would like to tell the class how to tie proper knots in their safety line? You there in the front, Mr Crichton?”
John groaned inwardly. Someone was going to pay for this…. He was just afraid it was going to be him…..
~ Fin~
Originally posted :
here