Fic: A Lesson in History (2/?)
Title: A Lesson in History (2/?)
Pairing: Eventual Howince
Summary: They say that true love can conquer any obstical. What about time? Howince AU.
Word Count: 1873
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I cannot claim to own the Boosh. This belongs to two men much more brilliant than myself :)
A/N: I can't pretend this is going to be historically accurate in any way. I failed my history GCSE for a reason ;) (Although now tabithaarbella has agreed to help me it'll be better than it was :P)
Part 1 here - http://community.livejournal.com/booshslashhaven/883643.html
“It’s real.”
Howard looked at him. “Are you quite alright?”
The man, Vincent, swayed alarmingly. “No. Really, really not.”
Forgetting for a moment that this was a stranger he’d just found in his bedchamber Howard guided him quickly over to the bed so he could sit down. If the young man had been pale before it was nothing to how he looked now.
“Um…would you care for some water?”
He looked up. “Who are you?”
“Vincent I really think…”
“Call me Vince.”
Howard blinked. “Vince, then. I really think you should have some water, and perhaps something to eat? You’re not well.”
Vince looked round. “You can say that again.” he looked back at Howard. “You never answered. Who are you?”
“Howard Moon. I own this place, or at least I will when my father passes on.”
“What year is it?”
Howard shook his head sadly. It was obvious this man was diseased in the mind. “The year of our Lord 1849.”
Vince’s eyes lit up. “1849? Really?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Wow.” he looked around. “So…two options.” he said, seemingly to himself. “Either I’ve gone insane, and I don’t feel insane, or I’ve gone back in time.”
“Back in time?”
“It’s the year 2009. Or at least it should be.” he laughed breathlessly. “Oh wow this is amazing!”
“You’re a time traveller?” the notion was absurd, and yet…Howard found himself believing the young man sat next to him. There was something about him that definitely seemed out of place, almost otherworldly. He snorted. “Then why on earth did you come here?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“But the future! What must it be like?! Why would you want to come back?”
“Oh but I love history!” his whole face lit up now. “Have done since I was a kid, you know? I know it’s all a bit basic, no electricity or anything…”
“Electricity? What is electricity?”
Vince blinked at him. “I have no idea how to explain that. Um…it’s power. Energy. It goes into every house and powers their lamps, television, computer, hair straighteners…” he stopped abruptly. “I really can’t explain most of this stuff, I dunno how it works.”
“Do your best. Please.” Howard shuffled closer, wondering vaguely at how comfortable he felt being sat so close to this strange man on his bed, “It sounds so fascinating.”
“Well…”
“But first I think we should dress you in something more appropriate.” he looked him up and down. “If any of the ladies of the house were to see you dressed like that they’d probably faint.” he stood up, opening a large oak wardrobe. “They’ll be slightly too large, but it’ll probably be a comfortable change for you. Those clothes must restrict your movement something terrible.”
Howard flicked idly through Vince’s wallet, pulling out his money and credit cards and looking at them like they were the most exotic thing in the world. Vince had done his best to explain it all to him but he felt sure he’d given Howard the impression the future was full of magicians and metal horses or something.
“These portraits are astounding.” he said. “You can’t even see the brush work!” Vince turned.
“They’re not portraits. They’re photographs.”
“But they’re in colour.”
“Photos are in 2009.”
“Oh.” he went back to looking through the few Vince had in his wallet. “She’s pretty. Your wife?” Vince glanced at the picture Howard was indicating.
“My fiancé. Kylie.” Vince paused. “What about you. Are you married?”
“No. I’m planning to propose to the woman of my dreams soon though. My Victoria.”
Vince grinned. “Oh, wow! How long have you been together?”
Howard smiled dreamily. “Two weeks. Two, glorious weeks.”
“Two weeks?”
Howard frowned. “Yes. So?”
“Nothing, just seems a bit…soon to be thinking about marriage. You can’t fall in love with someone in a matter of weeks.”
“And how long have you been with Kylie?”
“A year. Year and a half maybe.”
Howard’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “A long time, perhaps, but then love is worth the wait.”
Vince gave him a strange look. “You don’t need to get married just because you’re in love! I’ve been in love before.”
“But surely if you love someone you want to be with them always?”
“Well, yeah I suppose so, but you don’t need to marry ’em!” he shook his head. “Different times, mate. Things change, you know?” he glanced at him. “So before Victoria. You’ve never been in love before?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
There was a slightly awkward silence. Vince went back to attempting to make his outfit look half decent, without ruining it for Howard to wear in future.
“So who else have you been in love with?”
Vince looked round. “What?”
“These past loves. Do they have names?”
“Oh. Well…there was Sarah, Darren, Marie…”
“Darren?” Howard interrupted, “Isn’t that a man’s name?”
Vince tensed. “Yeah. What of it?”
“But…how can a man love another man? It isn’t natural; man was designed to be with woman.”
Vince paused. The words were the same that he’d heard from people over the years - his parents, various priests - but Howard’s tone didn’t seem judgemental. He genuinely seemed to not understand; as though the thought of two men being together had never even occurred to him. He shrugged.
“Love is love, doesn’t matter about gender.”
“But how can you feel that…?” Howard seemed confused. Vince thought.
“This Victoria. What is it that you love about her?”
“Oh, many things. The way she holds herself, her smile, her dictation, her proud good looks…”
“Alright, alright.” Vince considered him. “So if she were a man, but still had all those qualities, wouldn’t you still love her?”
“Well…I don’t…I suppose I…”
He looked so uncomfortable that Vince began to feel sorry for him. “Don’t worry about it, Howard; I’m not trying to say you should be gay or anything. You’re not into blokes, that’s fine.”
“No, I…”
“‘No?’” Vince locked on to his eyes and felt the atmosphere thicken. After several seconds Howard swallowed and tore his gaze away.
“I mean yes. Yes, my heart belongs to Victoria. A woman.”
“Well…that’s great. To know so quickly you’re meant to be together…she must be really special.”
“Oh, she is.”
He glanced at the doorway looking very uncomfortable. Vince wondered if he’d felt the tension in the air as well.
“Are you alright?”
Howard looked back at him. “I’m perfectly alright. I was just thinking the storm appears to have eased. Perhaps you would like a tour of the grounds?”
“Could I?” Vince grinned. Howard smiled back, already looking more at ease.
“It would be my pleasure.”
They left the room, only to walk straight in to a startlingly pretty young woman in the most beautiful white dress Vince had ever seen. She scowled at Howard.
“Howard there you are. Father was asking for you…” she glanced at Vince, then back to Howard. “And who is this?”
“Vincent…”
“Noir.” Vince whispered.
“Vincent Noir. He’s the son of a business associate of fathers.”
“And you often entertain young men in your bedchamber?”
Howard flushed. “He needed to change his clothes, so I lent him some of mine.” he glared. “May I remind you that when father passes I will be in control over who lives here. There are plenty of suitors I could pick for you. You would do well to watch your tongue.”
She flushed. “My apologies sir.” she said sarcastically. She glanced at Vince again. “Sirs.” she bowed her head and walked quickly away.
“Who was that?” Vince asked.
“Hmm? Oh, that was my sister Verity.” he looked back at the retreating woman. “A total pain, but you know how women are.”
“Did you have to threaten to kick her out? Seems a bit harsh.”
Howard looked at him, amusement evident in his face. “You talk very strangely you know.”
“Oi! I don’t!”
Howard chuckled. “If you insist. Come, let us hurry. I don’t want to leave my father waiting for too long.”
Together they headed down the grand staircase. Vince gaped around him in wonderment. It was exactly like he’d always pictured it, the servants hurrying through, the expensive pictures and decorations, the bright colours. “It’s beautiful.”
“What is?”
“Everything.”
Howard shot him a confused look. “It’s no better than other homes. Shabbier if anything, father lost some of his money in business dealings.”
“Trust me; compared to my place this is amazing!”
Howard smiled at him and held open the great front door. “After you, sir.”
Vince laughed and stepped outside, breathing in the startlingly clean air. Almost instantly a wave of nausea overtook him and he stumbled, falling to his knees. When it passed he looked up to find himself alone. He looked back round to see that the door was boarded up and locked with a thick chain, just like he remembered. He got up and ran back round to the side door and forced his way in, running back down the passage to the entrance hall. It was dark, dusty, and empty. Just like it had always been.
Maybe it was all just a hallucination then. Vince felt bitterly disappointed. It would have been so exciting to have seen it all for real. He reached into his pocket to call Kylie and explain why he had missed dinner, only his pocket wasn’t there. He looked down, only to realise he was still wearing the clothes Howard had given him. He ran upstairs quickly; bursting into what he now knew was Howard’s bedroom. He looked around, even peering down into the room below just in case.
His own clothes, his wallet, and his mobile phone were gone.