Fic: The Soundtrack of a Relationship - Part 2
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Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they just inhabit my dreams.
A/N - This is part two of a 12 chapter story about Jack and Ianto's relationship inspired by several songs I've heard over the past few days. I have a wide taste in music, so please forgive me if there are a couple of cheesy 80's tunes. The songs that inspired the individual chapters will be listed in the "Music" area below the entry. Please, if you spot any mistakes and/or improvements, let me know (happy/"well done" comments appreciated too!). Thanks & I hope you enjoy the story!
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Read Part 1 here...
Jack took a sip of water. He briefly thought about opening the cabinet and pouring a whiskey, but if he did that he may never crawl back out of the bottle. What he really wanted, was for a six-foot tall, gorgeous Welshman to walk through the office door with a cup of his mouth-watering coffee. A tear slipped down his cheek as he reminded himself that would never happen again. Brushing the tear away, he shook his head and reached back to push play on the CD again. As the opening piano notes sounded through the room, he picked up the letter and continued to read...
I felt guilty, Jack. That I'd deceived you about why I wanted to work at Torchwood. But I kept telling myself it was ok...it was all for Lisa. Once she was ok again, it would all be worthwhile. I'll never cease to be surprised that, after it was over, you didn't Retcon my ass back to puberty. I wanted you to. But you didn't, you gave me a second chance. Everything in my life was gone...cold, empty...the only thing left was Torchwood...and you.
Jack's hand shook as he took another sip of water. A woman's voice had joined the piano music coming out of the speakers...
"How can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where I’ve become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home..."
I remember waking up on the floor, in your arms, you telling me to keep quiet. Did you know that I heard your voice calling to me in the dark, Jack? Calling me to come back from wherever I'd gone? I didn't want to come back. Lisa was gone, I knew it then, and I just wanted to stay in that cold place. And you kept calling me back. In the weeks following, there were accusations and distrust in the eyes of the others. But not in your eyes, Jack. You watched me and you called me back when I started slipping too close to the edge again. You kept me grounded. Sometimes, just by a simple touch. You're fingers brushing against mine when I handed you your coffee. A warm hand on my shoulder. Little things really, but they brought me out of myself.
Jack closed his eyes again and thought about those days. How worried he had been for the younger man, how much he'd ached at the pain in those beautiful blue eyes....
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"You shouldn't be here this late, Ianto."
"Neither should you, Sir." Ianto walked over to a computer and started tapping on the keys. Jack followed him and put his hand on his shoulder as he stood looking at the screen. He'd felt Ianto's small start of surprise, but kept his hand in place and didn't step away. After a moment, he felt the slight relaxation of the muscles that told him the touch had been accepted. There had been many such moments over the past few weeks and the acceptance was coming easier. He wasn't trying to seduce, just give Ianto some human contact. For Captain Jack Harkness, contact meant touch. Not that he wasn't attracted to the younger man, he was...and had been since the first moment he saw him. But even Captain Jack knew that there was a time and a place, and just weeks after killing Ianto's girlfriend right in front of him was NOT the right time. Although he'd always thought an office was the right place.
The first time he'd seen an answering spark from Ianto was the day he'd made the tough decision to send Jasmine off with the "fairies". The rest of the team had been mad at him for that. He was sitting in his office after everyone had gone home, without saying goodbye, and Ianto had brought him a cup of coffee. He'd set the mug down on Jack's desk, then reached out and touched Jack's cheek. It was meant to be a comforting gesture, but the contact had produced a brief, electric feeling in both of them. Jack could see the awareness in Ianto's eyes and was surprised when the younger man held his gaze for a moment before stepping back and breaking the fragile link. Ianto was about to walk out of the office door when Jack's low voice halted him.
"Ianto, do you think I made the right decision today?" There was a tiredness in the older man's voice as he asked the question.
"Yes, I do, Sir." Ianto replied. He leaned against the doorframe, gathering his thoughts. "What we do, protecting the world from what is out there, it needs a certain cold ruthlessness to do it sometimes. Today was a no win situation and you did what you had to in order to protect humanity as a whole."
"So you think I'm cold and ruthless, do you?" Jack really wanted to know what this man thought of him. He was surprised to find how important Ianto's answer was to him.
"Sometimes, Sir." There was a flash of anguish in his eyes and Jack knew he was thinking about Lisa. "But I have come to realize that the ruthless things you do take their toll on you. You do them, but then you brood on them when you think no one is looking."
"And you've been looking?" Jack asked, a hint of his usual flirtatious manner peeking through.
Ianto gave him a "look", but Jack just gave a small shrug and cocked an eyebrow as if to say 'Well?'
"Yes, I have." Was the surprising answer. "At first I wanted to see what made the monster tick." Jack winced at the word "monster", but didn't interrupt. "Then I looked closer and realized, you were suffering too. You weren't feeling the crushing emptiness that I was, but you knew what it felt like. And if you knew, then you must have loved like that once too. That's why you gave me another chance, wasn't it, Sir?"
Jack was impressed with the young man's insight.
"Yes."
"Thank you, Sir. Is there anything else I can get for you before I leave?"
"No..." the younger man turned to go out the door again, "...wait... Ianto? What are you doing tonight?"
"Sir?"
"I...this has been a rough couple of days, and...I don't want to be alone with nothing but my thoughts tonight. Are you hungry?" Jack was strangely hesitant about asking. It wasn't a date, just two friends having a meal, but he was still slightly nervous. Him, the Captain Jack Harkness, nervous about a meal invitation. Mentally he shook his head, what was it about Ianto Jones that made him feel this way?
There was a faint smile on Ianto's face as he replied, "I could eat."
That was the beginning of a nightly ritual. If there were no alarms or rift activity anywhere, they would close up the Hub for a while and walk down the street to the closest pub to have a meal. Mostly they talked about work, but sometimes they talked about other things. World events, local happenings, the RFL's decision to hold a round of Super League matches at Millenium Stadium the next spring. Ianto confessed that he'd played rugby at uni and Jack was fascinated at this glimpse of a different side to the young man.
The "accidental" touches continued as well. Increasing in frequency because Jack was no longer the only one handing them out..so to speak. Ianto could be quite devious about it too. Brushing a finger against the outer shell of Jack's ear while helping him put on his coat...allowing his hand to casually trail over Jack's hip while walking past each other on the stairs...once he'd even pinched Jack's arse while everyone was loading into the SUV. No one else noticed anything different about the archivist, he went about his duties with the calm air of efficiency he'd always shown. But he was driving Jack crazy.
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Jack opened his eyes with a smile, still thinking of all the playful little ways Ianto had teased him during those weeks. The way those beautiful, blue eyes had come back to life after being dead and empty for so long.
The second song was ending now.
"(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become"
Jack pressed the pause button again, told the Doctor that he'd be right back and went to splash some cold water on his face.
The Doctor remained on the couch. Knowing that it was going to get more difficult for Jack as the night wore on.
tbc
Chapter 3...