Hello. My name is Sirius Black. I am currently very, very stressed out. Would you care to join me for tea? Preferably at a time within closeness to now.
...Why are you here? And I don't mean here, at my journal, I mean here, on this planet. Or indeed, in this galaxy. You are a whiny git and you never paid attention in my class. No one cared about the state of my robes.
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But of course!
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You've done a damn good job relieving my stress so far.
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One does one's best! *grin*
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Go away.
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