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[books_and_crows]

Guesss who doesn't know how to use livejournal? Me.
Author: Books_and_Crows
Title: How Everyone Learned Bradley James is the Jealous Type
Rating: R-ish
Warnings: Swearing, vague mentions of sexual intercourse. 
Disclaimer: Yup. Real people, my head, not gonna happen. 
Summary: Bradley never expected anyone to ask how they got together. Therefore he never formed an appropriate answer, and perhaps that was the reason he found himself telling the story of an awards ceremony, a particularly physical interviewer, and Bradley's encounter with jealous.
Author's Note: This takes place during/after the NTA interview. I have nothing personal against this interviewer. This is just some whimsical idea on how I think Bradley would feel. This has also probably been done before. Sorry...I should read more fanfiction to figure that out. 
I hope it's...okay?


Bradley never thought he would have to explain how they got together.

Weren’t the usual questions like- ‘How did you meet?’ ‘When did you fall in love?’ not when you two finally come to an understanding and shag?

Bradley wasn’t expecting that. He wasn’t expecting Angel to ask pleasantly with hidden intentions about how they actually got together. She just smiled and brought up the subject like it was the bloody weather. Colin immediately stiffened next to him, and was focusing so deeply on his script that he could have burned a hole through it.

He probably wasn’t sure how to politely say, that the only reason they had truly gotten together was because Bradley was jealous prick, and Katie had a big mouth.

Bradley put on an easy smile, scooted closer to Colin, and replied easily, “Well just some things happen.”

Colin was shifting in his seat, obviously uncomfortable with lying. He could act like breathing, but when it came to deceiving those he held dear; his pure heart became a little nervous. In interviews he could, auditions he could, but when people knew him after spending years of long working hours-it was not the most convincing. That, and Katie was the epitome of a human lie detector, and she had no boundaries on pointing out the truth.

He gently elbowed Colin in the side, and Colin quickly added with a bright smile something along the lines of it being a random coincidence with his accent thick and voice fast enough that the words were difficult for even Bradley decipher.

“Really?” Katie’s grin was evil, a little too similar to Morgana’s for Bradley’s liking, “Funny. You know I wasn’t at the NTAs but I heard all about it from Tom and Eoin.”

Feral, that’s how she looked. Angel mirrored the expression. He knew that one day, one day all those pranks would catch up with them with a payback worse than any other. The other members of the table were exchanging bemused looks.

Now Colin’s hands were in his lap, twitching. His smile was two wide, and not his usual eye-crinkling, making Bradley’s-breath catch kind.

“Oh yeah, shame about the awards you know. I saw the interview afterwards, though. He was kind of an arse that bloke.” Katie twirled her glass, and raised her eyes at them with a smirk, “Don’t you think so Bradley?”

Angel with mock surprise turned towards her, “Hmm Katie isn’t that around the time when we found out about them?”

In a similar tone of voice Katie added, “Why yes, Angel, I believe that is around the time we found out about them shagging. Now, Bradley, Colin, are you sure it was only a coincidence.”

They had now captured the entire room’s attention. Katie didn’t live in a large flat, she had what she needed, and preferred it that way. The others who weren’t already engaged in this discussions were off exchanging private conversations or practicing lines (which was what they had originally met here to do, but it had been a general consensus that it was not going to happen).

They all gathered around the coffee table. Angel and Katie were sitting on the floor, Colin and Bradley rather closely on the sofa, and the others now moving towards them to listen in.

“Oh bugger.”

This was exactly what Bradley disliked about women.

_

Bradley swallowed the majority of his brink, then slammed it back down on the table. An action that received a fairly disdainful look from Katie.

“Okay, okay fine. You wanna know what happened? Well mates gather round. This is the story of how Colin and me started shagging.”

Colin was blushing, even up to his ears which were even more visible due to his recent Merlin haircut, and glowing red. He buried his face in his hands and groaned, then muttered a curse in Gaelic.

Then as Bradley began to weave this tale, he muttered “Oh Christ.”

______________________________________________________________________________

Bradley liked awards shows. He liked seeing others from the industry, friends who he had become estranged to during the long days of filming. He enjoyed having his picture taken without the stress of being pulled back on set, or having to fall back into his Arthur state, and he found the anticipation of the awards exciting.

However, he did not like dressing up. He did not like having to sit still and quiet (well, according to Colin the latter one did not work out). Lastly, Bradley did not like losing.

So that did contribute the reason Bradley was a little bitter when they started their interview.

“A little? You looked like you were about to murder the next thing that moved.” Colin interjected. Katie laughed, and Angel smiled wryly. “Good thing I was there, or else you would have completely been caught.” He deadpanned.

Bradley waved him off with a chuckle.

The interviewer caught them just when they were on their way out. The two had arrived together so it was only obvious that they would leave together as well. The limo waited for them behind the others, nothing too extravagant, at least not to catch attention. Bradley didn’t know how that damn man found them.

It wasn’t like they were calling attention to themselves, and excuse them for being handsome, but there was really no need to flag them do-

“Get on with it.”

Right.

It was this short curly haired man, whose name has, and will forever slip Bradley’s mind. He caught up with them just as they were leaving, and asked -dogged- them for an interview. Colin being his cheerful optimistic self agreed.

“He was nice and it wasn’t like he was acting us to jump off a building.”

The camera flickered over to the both of them, and the curly man began to speak, and really it all went downhill from there.

“Now I have never felt less attractive in my entire life and that is because I am joined by Merlin and Prince Arthur.”

Prince Arthur.

“It was an honest mistake,” Colin quickly interrupted, “He could’ve read the prompter wrong or maybe he doesn’t really watch the show. You were a prince for most of the series.”

Prince Arthur.

So things did not really get off to a good start; Bradley already looked like he wanted to punch someone in the gut, and Colin’s smile had faltered a bit.

“A.K.A. Colin Morgan and Bradley James. Gentlemen how are you?”

He tilted the microphone over to Colin.  It could have been because Colin was closer, but Bradley decided it was because the curly-haired short man had a ridiculous infatuation with him.

“He was being nice!”

Anyways.

“Very good,” Colin responded.

“You’re looking incredibly dapper.” He spoke all flirtation in his voice with the roll of his head, and a pucker of his lips. In the span of the thirty seconds from when the interview started, he had moved closer than necessary to Colin, and was eyeing him up and down like a piece of meat.

“For God’s sake Bradley! He was just being friendly.”

“You may want to look up the definition of friendly then, Colin,” Bradley teased back light-heartedly.

“I agree with him on that. According to your meaning, Bradley has been friendly with you for quite awhile now.” She winked, and Colin groaned again.

“Hey my intentions with Colin were purely innocent!” His arm was looped around Colin’s shoulder, and the two were sitting too close for anything innocent to be received. At the skeptical looks, he continued his tone of blatant fake naivety, “In the beginning.”

Eoin had been leaning over from behind Katie, listening to the story. At this comment a smirk quirked at the corner of his mouth, and he squeezed between the two girls to say in a hush voice, “Yeah, I’m sure it was real innocent mate, when you were shoving your”

“Shut it you wanker!”

“Just get back to the story.” Colin mumbled.

“Thank you very much.”

Bradley obviously was invisible.

“Now I must ask,” His words were short and quick, “Is that a real bow tie? Did you tie it yourself?”

Colin’s face paled. His face fell a little, and his eyes widened with nerves. It was only for a second though before he recovered with a gentle dimple-filled grin, as he looked down at the interviewer. “Uh give it a tug.”

Bradley’s face went from the, I’m-going-to-look-amused-just-for-Colin smile, to a complete glower. Actually it was more like a scowl that caused the entire bottom half of his face to turn downwards. Then, lord and behold, after a word of excited agreement, Colin was raising his head up for the interviewer to tug on the bow.

He pulled on it once, twice, jiggled it a little before releasing it. Of course, Colin had induced that part of the flirtation that was irritating.

That and the pure teasing pleasure in his voice as he said, “I think that’s clip-on.”

Colin looked mock-offended, and put his hand over the accessory, “It’s genuine.”

Oh, yeah, maybe he could give it another tug.

“Come on Bradley, what else was I supposed to say?”

“How about, oh it is real, in fact this very fit looking man next to me, who yes, is still here tied it for me.”

Colin fumbled with his words, “Well, that is, uh, I couldn’t just say that,”

“Oh carry on Bradley.” Angel commanded offering Colin a way out from his loss of an excuse. Eoin made a very sexual tug-related innuendo that caused Bradley to shoot him a look and then return back to where he left off.

“Well you are a master of illusions, so who knows, who knows.”  Bradley honestly could not believe they were still dwelling on that topic. He knew that he should very well break in now, that would only be appropriate. But he was too infuriated to do so.

Colin was smiling again, one of his smaller ones where his tongue was wedge between his teeth and his eyes were barely scrunched.

“I didn’t know you paid that much attention to my expressions, James.”

“Well you smile all the bloody time so it’s pretty hard not to, Morgan.” He shrugged, and poked Colin’s cheek right above his dimple. Colin waved his hand off, and shoved him with his elbow. This caused Bradley to tighten his grip around Colin’s shoulder, and drag him down. Colin, though thinner than the other, wedged his arm under Bradley’s and struggled to sit back up right.

“God, the indirect affection here is going to kill me. Get on with it, will you.”

“How have you found the National Television Awards?”

Okay, so the camera probably got the image of Bradley trying to keep himself from snarling, but with all this intoxicating enticement who would really be paying attention to Bradley.

“Great, we had a great night didn’t we?”

Colin looked over to Bradley for him to continue his answer. For perhaps the first time during this begrudgingly long interview the microphone was turned over.

“It’s uh a lot of excitement around the place; it’s good to be a part of that.”

That was exactly how he felt. Because that’s what Bradley liked about parties, award ceremonies, was the excitement, the fun. At the moment though, he did not look the least bit excited. He could play that off on their loss or that it had been a long night, surely no one would really read into it that much.

Right?

He commented on their loss, there was not enough intent that Bradley could read into. He wasn’t listening entirely, half of his brain was scattered. He did clearly hear the next question.

“Were the worthy winners do you think?”

The microphone, without doubt, went to Colin.

“Geez you’re starting to make me feel like an arse.” Colin muttered, scratching the back of his head.

“Sorry Cols, not what I meant.” He grinned apologetically, but Colin didn’t look any better. Bradley could already tell that the cloud of guilt was now looming over his head. He slumped a little, the scene was replaying in his head now, in a completely different light.

Eoin quickly distracted him, “Don’t worry Col, your arse comes into this story later.”

“Seriously Eoin? That one wasn’t even decent.”

“Any show that gets the majority of the uh of the votes is worthy.”

“Did you practice your ‘oh no we haven’t won faces’?”

Colin ducked his head back to try to suppress the laugh, unsuccessfully of course. Bradley tried to figure out if it was because of the sheer inappropriateness of the question, or if it connected to Colin’s obscure sense of humor. If it did, then Bradley was sure that he had moved several steps backwards in solving the Colin Morgan Enigma.

“It was actually because I was just dying to see how you would react.”

“That was very much on the agenda,” Bradley answered for Colin, who was in able to through his laughter, “The only thing we had is that Donnton Abbey seems to be uh cleaning up at the awards ceremony, so we were…pretty much aware that we weren’t going to be winning.”

“Can I see those faces?” then in his announcer voice, “’The award goes to Downton Abbey.”

If Bradley wasn’t ready to mutilate this man before, he certainly was now. He clapped slowly. He smiled without any teeth showing, and turned his head to the side to glare at the air, while Colin was beaming away.

“Those jabs are growing to be unappreciated.” Colin interrupted, “And I was not beaming, I was smiling… indulgently.”

“No wonder your actors that is incredibly convincing.”

The main thought in Bradley’s mind as he turned his face away and tried to keep his temper (which was actually quite always under control), was: Yes, we are actors, and that’s why we are standing here tolerating you so long, shit dick.

Also why Bradley had not ripped his hand away when he was tugging on Colin’s bow tie; well, it probably wouldn’t be very socially acceptable either.

“Would you seriously have done that? I mean curly could’ve put up a fight.”

Bradley snorted, “Colin. I’ve battled a dragon before, I could take that elf.”

“That was a CGI dragon, the most threatening thing about it was John.”

“You just enjoy crushing my pride, don’t you Morgan?”

“Yes. Obviously that is my life goal.”

Bradley over-dramatically sighed, “After all I’ve done to put up with your weird vegetarian lactose-free meals, and hatred of gingers all I get is-“

Colin bumped his knee against Bradley’s to stop his rambling. He turned sideways so their eyes met, at such a distance that their noses were almost touching. When Bradley sighed again Colin could feel the breath against his cheeks.

“I was joking, really; now continue to bore them to death.”

______________________________________________________________________________________

“So um obviously in the show that you guys do, there is a lot of genuine magic,” This was getting ridiculous, Bradley was sure that even Colin was realizing how plain absurd this was now. Bradley was becoming less angry, and just sickly amused by the hidden hilarity of this entire thing escapade. “Now earlier I met Dynamo, who is a man who does magic in real life, are you going to go and share wizarding tips with him?”

Bradley really hoped his eye roll wasn’t picked up by the camera. But, yup, he was definitely getting that signal from Colin, that this is nonsensical vibe.

“Well as Dynamo knows, you gotta keep all your secrets, secret.” He waved his hand downwards to add to the statement, “But I dunno maybe we can hook up,” he jerked his thumb in the opposite direction.

Bradley just stared flat-faced at the camera. It was about then that he noticed, that slight irritated feeling at the whole bow tie excursion had magnified by a dozen. Oh yeah just go hook up with them, Colin, maybe he can tug your boy tie, Colin.

“and you know, we can do a duel of some stage er.”

“You’d save a fortune on special effects. By just getting him to do the magic instead.”

No shit, really?

The Colin was laughing; laughing like that joke was actually really fucking funny. He was bending his neck forwards and all together chuckling like he enjoyed what he was saying. Personally, Bradley wanted to punch this man in the face, and then storm off to the limo and down a bottle of gin.

He held the microphone out for Bradley to comment. Great, this entire time, he had impudently ignored Bradley, and then just as he was getting truly fed up, he decided then was the time to include him.

Bradley was truly just answering honestly; he was just reflecting what he really felt. Wasn’t that what you were supposed to do in interviews? “Luckily I don’t have to deal with anything…magical uh therefore you can leave me out of this part of the conversation, I think.”

So maybe it wasn’t the most subtle way of telling him to go screw himself, but it did get the point across.

______________________________________________________________________________

“I still can’t believe you said that.”

“The guy was driving me mad.” Bradley explained.

Colin vaguely remembered how they had originally met up to just rehearse lines; however it was clear now that they had no intention to practice at all. He knew that, what he wasn’t quite sure on was how this became ‘let’s invade the personal aspects of Colin and Bradley’s relationship’.

Oh yeah Katie and Angel.

Thankfully, Tom had not joined in on the commentary, because like Eoin, he had witnessed Bradley dragging Colin to their limo.

“Never knew you were the jealous type,” Katie slouched backwards on her palms, and sent them the same sideways feral smirk.

“I’m not.” He replied confidently, and leaned forwards so his elbows rested on his knees. He cupped one hand to cover the side of his mouth that was facing Colin, “Colin is just the ‘my accent flirts with everything type’. When you can understand it, of course.”

“I resent that.”

“So what happened next?” Angel questioned.

“Well we got into the limo, Colin was thoroughly interrogating me on why I had behaved so poorly  and then one thing led to another, and we were shagging.” Bradley spoke simply.

“That’s it James? That’s how you end the story? After all that pointless detail, you actually skip over the part where you do get together?” Angel was in total disbelief.

“Well we only got somewhere once Bradley was done being a jealous prick, then we coul-“

Bradley cut him off in the same swift motion as flipping his cell phone out of his back pocket, and displaying the time to Colin, “Would you look at the time? I believe that Colin and I have somewhere to be at the moment.” Bradley stood up, and slid out through the narrow space in between the sofa and table.

He looked expectantly at Colin who was staring up at him a little confused, and a whole lot like he was not prepared to go anywhere.

“You know that thing?” Bradley offered as a further explanation.

The recognition made Colin’s eyes widened, and he stood up immediately after. “Oh right, that thing.” He smiled, one of his eye crinkling, face wrinkling, smiles that distracted everyone from what the conversation could really be about, and were sucked into the alternate universe that revolved around the sole idea of ‘awww isn’t Colin Morgan adorable?’.

Bradley did not find himself there a lot at all.

When Bradley tried to look innocent, he ended up looking down right sinister. Like he was some sort of villain concocting an evil plan. He probably could pull it off, if he wasn’t standing next to Colin who could brutally kill someone (note this joke has been used several times in the past) then show up with blood on his hands, and they would send him free.

They said their goodbyes, and hurried out.

Eoin was the first to speak.

“You do realize they just left us to screw each other, right?”

There were various grunts of agreements.

__________________________________________________________________________

Part Two