A Game of Poker, Chapter 17: Infirmary Visit
Title: A Game of Poker
Author: Bookkbaby
Rating: Teen
Warnings: YAOI
Summary: LUCKY Pair. It started as a simple game of poker, but a little white lie from Lavi changes everything. ['If you lose... you spend the night here, with me, and let me do whatever I want with you.']
A/N: This is my first multichapter fanfic for the DGM fandom! Yay! I’m fairly new to the fandom, but hopefully I haven’t made any unforgivable mistakes.
Warnings: YAOI, which means BOYS LOVING BOYS. If you dislike that, then the back button is easy enough to find. Please click that and leave. Limes are in the future, and lemons in the uncut versions (not on fanfiction(dot)net). Maybe some OOC, spoilers for the end of the anime later on.
Disclaimer: I don’t own these lovely characters, that honor belongs to Katsura Hoshino. (Though if Hoshino-sama ever has a sale, I call dibs on Tyki… what?) I don’t own anything but a copy of the anime series and all volumes of the manga in English. Anything you don’t recognize (like the plotline of ‘A Game of Poker’) does belong to me. Everything else… not so much. Please don’t sue.
Super special awesome thanks to Misster Cackles, who is now my beta! All remaining mistakes are mine.
Dedicated in part to N.H. Arawn who was kind enough to read this over for me before I posted!
Last Time On ‘A Game Of Poker’:
The Exorcist nodded, still thoughtful, then turned and left the office. Komui watched him go, mind already turning back to the issue at hand.
What was the real truth behind Mikk's supposed defection from the Earl's side?
And Now, The Continuation
A Game of Poker, Chapter 17
Infirmary Visit
Lavi sighed. He was sitting up in bed with his legs swung over the side as he watched the hands move around the clock. It was about lunchtime already and he was anxious to leave and talk to Komui about what the Order was planning to do with Tyki.
The redhead turned, looking behind himself to where the Noah lay resting behind a closed privacy curtain. Though the Exorcist couldn't see the man at the moment, he knew that Tyki's arms and legs had been set and the healing bones were now protected by casts. The Noah's ruined clothes - the Head Nurse had cut the cloth rather than risk injuring her patient more by removing his shirt and pants the usual way - were gone. The man's undergarments and the warm blanket laid gently over him served to protect his modesty.
Tyki would be fine. Lavi, Lenalee, and the Head Nurse had done all they could and now the Noah was on his way to recovering completely.
Upon arriving at the infirmary last night, Lenalee had gone into the woman's room to rouse her while he had placed the unconscious Noah gently on one of the empty hospital beds. The Nurse hadn't been happy to be woken up so quickly after she had gone to sleep, but she had come running the moment Lenalee had told her that there was a person in the infirmary awaiting her help.
The Head Nurse had asked few questions beyond what injuries Tyki had, mostly asking for details on how he had been injured. Lavi had answered as best he could and had told her the basics of who Tyki was and why he was now at the Order headquarters, even though she hadn't asked and seemed concerned only with how best to help the unconscious man. She had gone to work immediately, sending Lavi and Lenalee for scissors, bandages, and plaster.
There had been nothing they could do about the seal on the Noah's chest. It seemed to have been burned onto his body, meaning it would need to be surgically removed. Since removing it would destroy it and it didn't appear to be life threatening, the Head Nurse had left it alone. There was no telling what the seal did or what effect removing it might have. The Science Department would have to run tests on it before anything could be done. Tyki's Tease had flown from Lavi's hair to stand vigil over Tyki's bed, settling on the horizontal pole at the top of the headboard above the Noah's head. It hadn't moved since.
Once Tyki had been taken care of, the Head Nurse had run a swift but thorough check up on Lavi. Upon finding out that he was in perfect health (though in desperate need of a razor, which he had gotten with breakfast, a change of clothes, and his eyepatch), she had demanded that he spend the night in the infirmary anyway, just to be sure.
Lavi hadn't minded. He wasn't sure when the privacy curtain had been put around Tyki's bed, but it hadn't been there when he had fallen asleep in the bed next to the Noah's bed. Lavi had watched the Pleasure's sleeping figure until he had fallen asleep himself and the curtain had been there when he awoke a few hours ago.
It was almost time for him to leave. The Head Nurse had just finished a second check up on his injuries and had left a few moments ago to fill out the form signifying that Lavi was once again well enough to send out into the field.
Lavi studied the curtain hiding Tyki from prying eyes. He might not be able to come back here for a while, especially if Komui had told Bookman about the redhead's involvement in the Noah's rescue. The old Panda wouldn't like that one bit and would try to keep Lavi busy or lecture him about 'attachments' to discourage the apprentice from visiting the injured man.
Lavi knew the rules. He knew he'd have to end this thing between himself and Tyki eventually, but... 'eventually' was not 'now'. There was still some time left until the end, especially if Gramps remained unaware of what went on between Bookman Junior and the Noah of Pleasure.
Bookman would force him to end it eventually, but until then he could let himself enjoy what he had with Tyki.
Slowly, the movement almost unconscious, he began to push himself to his feet. Before the Nurse came back he'd check in on Tyki, just draw the curtain aside for a moment and see how he was doing-
The sound of approaching footsteps reached his ears. Guiltily, he jerked his gaze towards the sound's source as he settled his weight back on the bed. He forced a smile onto his face as he recognized who it was that walked towards him.
Komui tried to return the smile, but his eyes were too serious and didn't match the curve of his lips. The white-clad man stopped a few feet from the bed Lavi sat on, taking a sip from his blue bunny cup of coffee. The redhead was tense but tried not to let it show on his face. He wasn't worried about what Komui might do - the supervisor was a nice person, generally - but Komui was the one who would decide what would happen to Tyki. The Grand Generals would try to butt in when they heard about it, but that wouldn't be for a few months, hopefully. Until then, Komui was in charge of their once-enemy.
"Hello, Komui!" he said, attempting his usual cheer. "How are you?"
Komui's eyes flicked to the privacy curtain, then came to rest on Lavi once more. The redhead tried to keep the same happy, goofy smile on his face, but the tension inside him went up a notch.
"I have a few questions for you about the Noah," Komui told him, tone almost gentle. Lavi nodded. He had expected the supervisor to show up some time today, though he was a bit surprised that the man had showed up so early.
"Sure. Shoot."
"First of all, I need more details on the events leading up to last night." Komui said. "Specifically, I need to know why you rescued Tyki Mikk."
Lavi winced. This line of questioning could only end badly. He doubted Komui would let him leave it at 'he saved my life', but it was worth a try anyway.
"I felt like I owed him," the redhead answered. It wasn't a total lie. Part of him did feel like he owed Tyki for his own life, though that wasn't even half of his reason for rescuing the Noah. It wasn't even an eighth of his reason, though 'owing' was the safest answer he could come up with. "He did save my life, so-"
"Why did he save your life, then?" Komui asked, studying the Exorcist intently. "How? When?"
Lavi looked away. There went his miniscule hope that the supervisor would leave the subject well enough alone. If Lavi revealed what he knew and what he suspected, at worst he'd be accused of fraternization (though he doubted much would come from the charge, he didn't need the hassle of an investigation) and Bookman would find out. At best... Bookman would still find out and Bookman would force Lavi to end his 'relationship', for lack of a better word (though the term implied that emotions and not necessarily bodies were involved) with Tyki before he was ready.
Neither option was particularly appealing.
"Lavi?"
The redhead looked back up to his supervisor. Komui gave him a searching look, waiting for his answer. With a deep breath, Lavi began to speak.
"When I was captured by the Noah family," he said slowly, seeing Komui nod. "The Earl ordered Tyki to kill me. Tyki instead pretended to put a Tease in my chest and faked my death. He bandaged my injuries and got me through the Ark by sending one of his golems as a guide. He fought the Earl, another Noah, and Akuma so that I could escape."
Komui seemed to absorb the information, taking another sip of coffee.
"'Tease'..." he mused. "Those are the butterfly shaped cannibal golems Mikk uses, right? You say it led you through the Ark?"
Lavi nodded. He could see Komui's interest spike for a moment before the man shook himself and returned his attention to the topic at hand. The redhead had little doubt that Komui was planning to study the Tease sometime in the near future.
"That still doesn't answer 'why', Lavi. Why would Mikk save you?"
Lavi looked away, eyes landing on the privacy curtain and sticking there. He didn't know why Tyki had done it either. All he had were guesses. He had briefly considered that it could be a plot of the Earl's, but that notion had been immediately discarded. If this was some sort of plot, it was much more convoluted than any the Earl had come up with before - his relationship with Tyki couldn't be part of the Manufacturer's plan, it simply made no sense. Tyki would have killed him the first night they had slept together or would have killed him the first night he had tried to if everything had been part of the Earl's 'scenario'.
The redhead wanted to believe that Tyki had saved him because he cared, but at the same time hoped that wasn't true. He would need to break this off eventually and ending this would only hurt the Noah if his emotions were involved. Lavi knew his own heart wouldn't be completely unaffected, but whatever pain he felt would teach him not to let his heart wander so freely again.
His chest ached oddly and he rubbed at it absently.
Why had Tyki saved him? The only feasible explanation was that the man cared, since he hadn't gotten anything from saving Lavi except a trip to the Earl's dungeon, but the Pleasure had said once or twice that their 'dalliances' didn't mean anything to him. Had the man been lying then? Was it just a whim to spare the Exorcist's life? If so, why take it so far?
The Exorcist didn't know. Tyki's motivations were just as much a mystery to him as they were to Komui. To tell the supervisor his suspicions would be to admit to a relationship with the Noah, and if word ever got back to Bookman-
"Lavi?"
The redhead jerked his gaze back to Komui, realizing the man was still waiting for his answer.
"I don't know," Lavi answered lamely, looking at the floor.
“‘Call it a whim.’"
"No idea?" Komui prodded. Lavi shook his head, still not looking at the white-clad man. Komui was quiet for a moment, then let the subject drop.
"Are you certain that this isn't one of the Earl's tricks?" Komui asked him seriously. The redhead immediately met Komui's eyes and nodded firmly.
"Tyki's on our side."
If nothing else, he was sure about that. The events inside the Noah's stronghold had to be genuine, even if he didn't know what had made Tyki act the way he had. The Pleasure wouldn't go crawling back to the Earl once he was fully healed. There was no place for Tyki now but inside the Black Order, since the Order could provide asylum from the other Noah and the Earl's Akuma at least.
Komui seemed a bit shocked by the absolute conviction in Lavi's voice, but quickly recovered. He took another sip of his coffee and nodded slowly.
"All right then - if you remember anything else or think of something that might be important, come and tell me." The supervisor turned to go. Before Lavi could stop himself, he felt his mouth open and heard his voice speak.
"What's going to happen to him?"
Komui turned back around, eyes widened slightly behind his glasses. Lavi tried to keep his apprehension off of his face, but refused to take back the question now that it was spoken. He did want to know, after all, even if he had planned on making more subtle inquiries.
The supervisor pushed his glasses up his nose and cleared his throat.
"Since we can't determine his loyalty, we're going to study the seal on his chest and transfer the effect to a set of manacles. He'll have a twenty-four hour a day guard and be mostly confined to his room until we can figure out for sure who he's loyal to. He'll be allowed in the cafeteria to choose his own meals, but will eat in his room." The white-clad man studied Lavi. "Was there anything else you wanted to know?"
Lavi started to shake his head, a sense of relief washing through him, then another question occurred to him. He hesitated, the words on the tip of his tongue. Komui waited, watching him.
"Could I... visit him?" the redhead asked slowly, not looking at the supervisor. There was dead, shocked silence for a moment, then Komui spoke.
"Of course, Lavi. I'll let the Finders know. If you're planning on visiting him, then you're under obligation to tell me if he tells you anything that might be important. Bookman and I will be questioning him, but-"
"Questioning?" Lavi interjected quickly, looking back up. Komui nodded slowly, seemingly puzzled by the redhead's apparent concern.
"Nothing painful. Talking, nothing more."
The Exorcist nodded his understanding. Telling Komui what Tyki said wasn't really within the Bookmen's rules, since he wasn't supposed to interfere and handing information to one side of the war could be seen as meddling, but he didn't plan to talk to the Noah about the war. He and Bookman were sort of walking on the wrong side of the line by joining it as soldiers anyway, even if it was to get information on the secret battles. Bookman would probably ignore Lavi passing on to Komui what Tyki told the redhead.
However, Bookman wouldn't ignore Lavi visiting the Noah.
"Komui?" Lavi said softly, meeting the supervisor's eyes. The man nodded in acknowledgement.
"What is it, Lavi?"
"Could you not tell Bookman about this?" he asked. "Me going to see Tyki, I mean. I don't think he'd approve."
Slowly, Komui nodded. His expression was unreadable.
"Of course. Was there anything else you needed?"
Lavi shook his head, a relieved smile on his face.
"Thank you." the redhead said quietly. Komui nodded, smiling kindly, then turned to leave. The Exorcist watched him walk towards the door of the infirmary, mind not really concentrating on what he was seeing until Komui reached the wooden door and the redhead noticed the small man leaning on the wall next to it.
Lavi felt frozen in shock, a sinking feeling weighing him down and rooting him to the spot as keen eyes ringed by heavy black makeup met his. Bookman was not happy with him, not at all. The redhead knew the old Panda's ears were good, more than good enough to hear the entire damning conversation he had just had with Komui.
The supervisor seemed just as surprised to see Bookman as Lavi was, stopping next to the door.
"Good morning, Bookman. Were you here to see Lavi?"
Bookman's eyes never left those of his apprentice.
"No. I'll speak to him later."
The old man turned, nodding civilly to the supervisor before grabbing the doorknob and opening the door. Bookman left, door hanging open behind him.
Komui stared, perplexed, then glanced back to Lavi and waved a quick goodbye before he, too, left. The redhead was still frozen in place as the door shut quietly behind the white-clad man.
Bookman knew. He had to know. There was no way he could have missed it.
The redhead turned away from the door, eyes landing on the privacy curtain that hid Tyki. His gaze darted once to the Head Nurse's office, then back to the curtain. He stood, moving quickly around his bed to the hanging cloth. Without a second thought, he ducked behind the curtain.
The light was slightly muted behind the cloth, but nothing his eyes really needed to adjust to. The redhead paused for a moment just inside the small cloth wall, eyes moving automatically to the head of the bed. Tyki seemed to be sleeping peacefully, face relaxed and carefree in a way Lavi had never seen it. He had never woken up next to the Noah, so this was the first time he had ever seen the man's sleeping face.
Slowly, not really realizing he was moving, his feet began to carry him to Tyki's side. The Tease, which was still perched on the horizontal bar of the headboard, flapped its wings in greeting. Lavi smiled at it briefly before his feet came to a stop. He looked down at the Pleasure, reaching out to absently brush a wavy lock of dark hair from the man's forehead.
It was almost odd to see him such a human color, rather than gray. It was strange not to see Tyki's stigmata on his forehead, but it wasn't bad. It made the Pleasure seem more vulnerable, more human. The olive shade of Tyki's skin and the lack of scars drove home just how helpless Tyki was at the moment; he could no longer use his abilities, was injured, and stuck inside the stronghold of those who had been his worst enemies because his former comrades were probably trying to kill or capture him.
Unconsciously, Lavi began to lean forward. He caught himself when his lips were less than an inch from Tyki's and he stopped, undecided.
It was wrong to take advantage of an unconscious man, wasn't it? But this wasn't really 'taking advantage'... the redhead was fairly certain Tyki would allow him a kiss if the Noah was awake. That made it okay, right?
Still uncertain of whether or not the act was morally sound, the redhead impulsively closed the distance and pressed his lips gently to the older man's unresponsive mouth. He kept the kiss gentle, chaste, only briefly touching his lips to the Noah's before pulling back with his lips tingling from the contact. His eyes widened as he realized what he had done.
The redhead put a hand to his mouth, almost horrified. Bookman would have been furious to see his apprentice kissing someone so sweetly, since such a gentle contact implied that there was more than just a physical relationship. ‘Fuckbuddies’, crude as the term was, didn’t kiss so softly. Fuckbuddies didn’t feel the drive to protect or save their partner, not like Lavi felt for Tyki. While it was frowned upon, Bookmen could have such a ‘buddy’ as long as no attachment was formed, but the redhead’s impulsive desire to press his lips chastely against the Noah’s made it seem as if there was more than just the physical aspect of a relationship between them.
The Exorcist knew otherwise. There was no other aspect but the physical to the ‘relationship’ he had with Tyki. His stolen kiss had been purely self-satisfaction of a different sort than he normally found with the Pleasure.
He ran a questioning finger over his lips, almost able to feel Tyki's presence there. There was a choked warmth in his chest he dared not think about, a pained heat different from what he felt when the older man's hand touched him intimately.
Bookman would be furious if he found out. Lavi didn’t intend to tell him. It seemed this farce of a bond had turned into a worse violation of the Bookman’s Code than he had initially suspected. Bookman already knew he had formed an attachment from the conversation the older man must have overheard between Lavi and Komui, but the redhead was sure his mentor didn’t know how deep the attachment went. Even he hadn’t known how bad it had gotten until just now.
That one chaste, stolen kiss tasted sweeter on his lips than the rest of the heated kisses he and Tyki had shared. The passionate kisses were nice - wonderful, even - but there was something about the innocent brushing of lips that made his heart - the heart he wasn’t supposed to have - feel too big for his chest yet too small for the emotions it contained.
There was only one other time he had felt this way when kissing Tyki, though he hadn't felt it nearly this much. That time had been a lie too, though at least for that kiss the Noah had been awake and responding.
As the kiss began to get heated, the Noah ended it. Annoyed, the Exorcist opened his eye and sent a half-hearted glare at the man. He wouldn't break or shatter from anything the Pleasure did tonight, and he wanted to feel that passion he knew the other felt for him. As nice as the kiss had been, all innocence and sugar without spice or heat, it was a lie. His chest ached oddly at the thought, but he shoved the feeling aside.
It was still a lie and would always be a lie. A true Bookman wouldn't regret that, but Lavi was only an apprentice. A true Bookman wouldn’t have found himself in this situation, in deep violation of the greatest of the Bookmen’s rules: ‘form no attachments’.
Bookman could never be allowed to find out about this. At this point there was no way to keep the old man from suspecting, but hopefully the Panda hadn’t heard the entire conversation with Komui and hopefully Lavi would be able to keep everything hidden well enough so that his mentor would never find out for certain.
The soft sound of metal scraping on metal caught his attention. He turned his gaze to the butterfly clinging to the headboard and gave it a thin smile he didn’t really feel.
"You're going to protect him, then?" he asked it. The Tease was so much like Timcanpy, even if only in the fact that both golems seem to have a like of biting things and both possessed intelligence and personalities. The butterfly's wings moved up and down in an affirmative. The redhead smiled, then awkwardly reached out to brush one of the Tease's wings.
"Thanks," he said. The Head Nurse was probably done with his release forms by now. With a sigh and one last, long glance at the sleeping Noah, Lavi turned and headed out from behind the privacy curtain.
As he made his way back over to his own bed, a thought occurred to him that made him pause and glance back at the Noah now hidden by the hanging cloth. Since he had been picked up by Bookman and raised as the man’s apprentice, all he had wanted and all he had known were the ways of the Bookmen. Why was it so easy to forget those rules now?
Why did he want to keep what little he had with Tyki, even if the cost was the old Panda’s anger? All his life, he had wanted nothing to do with other people and had been a master at masks and hiding his real emotions. In all his other 48 personas, he hadn’t had any difficulty in pretending to be who he was not and acting the part of his assigned character time after time. He had never been in danger of forming friendships or worse, romantic relationships.
Why did ‘Lavi’ have so much trouble with avoiding bonds? Bookman Junior had never wanted anything but to be a perfect Bookman one day, so how could it be that he now found himself juggling a desire for friends, a desire for family, and a desire for -
He wouldn’t let himself think that word yet. Even though he had fallen far, he couldn’t have fallen so hard and so quickly. He couldn’t have come so low when his feet had rested so firmly on his ambition before.
How could he be juggling a desire for companionship with his dream of becoming a flawless Bookman now when he had never had trouble before? Why did he want to have his dream and his friends, even though he knew he could never have both? Bookman Junior wasn’t in the habit of wishing for the impossible, or at least he hadn’t been before he had come to the Order.
Had ‘Lavi’ changed him to the point where he no longer even wanted to be a Bookman? That wasn’t possible, was it? A persona he had assumed shouldn’t be able to change who he was at the core. Even so, as he looked deep within himself, he couldn’t find the raging fire of his ambition to be a Bookman. All that was left was a candle flame, easily overshadowed and outweighed by ‘Lavi’s’ desires. Given time the candle could once again blaze brightly, but first the other fires would need to be destroyed.
He would need to stop wanting to spend time with Lenalee, Allen, and Kanda. His heart would need to stop aching when he thought of Tyki. He would need to stop calling Bookman ‘gramps’ and half-meaning it.
Lavi didn’t want to. Lavi wanted to cling to those wants and those bonds with all of his strength and never let go of the family he had found. Bookman Junior wasn’t so sure that he wanted those desires to end so that his ambition was all he had once more.
‘Lavi’ really had messed him up, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about that or regret it. He wanted to be who he was now for just a little while longer.
Just a little while longer, and then he’d accept the consequences of having formed bonds while with the Black Order. Even if he was ‘Lavi’ right now, he was still Bookman Junior and would always be Bookman Junior. ‘Lavi’ wouldn’t be around forever, but until it was time for ‘Lavi’ to disappear he would let himself enjoy the bonds he had formed.
As long as Bookman didn't know for sure, he would be able to enjoy the attachments he had unwittingly made.
TBC…
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Author: Bookkbaby
Rating: Teen
Warnings: YAOI
Summary: LUCKY Pair. It started as a simple game of poker, but a little white lie from Lavi changes everything. ['If you lose... you spend the night here, with me, and let me do whatever I want with you.']
A/N: This is my first multichapter fanfic for the DGM fandom! Yay! I’m fairly new to the fandom, but hopefully I haven’t made any unforgivable mistakes.
Warnings: YAOI, which means BOYS LOVING BOYS. If you dislike that, then the back button is easy enough to find. Please click that and leave. Limes are in the future, and lemons in the uncut versions (not on fanfiction(dot)net). Maybe some OOC, spoilers for the end of the anime later on.
Disclaimer: I don’t own these lovely characters, that honor belongs to Katsura Hoshino. (Though if Hoshino-sama ever has a sale, I call dibs on Tyki… what?) I don’t own anything but a copy of the anime series and all volumes of the manga in English. Anything you don’t recognize (like the plotline of ‘A Game of Poker’) does belong to me. Everything else… not so much. Please don’t sue.
Super special awesome thanks to Misster Cackles, who is now my beta! All remaining mistakes are mine.
Dedicated in part to N.H. Arawn who was kind enough to read this over for me before I posted!
Last Time On ‘A Game Of Poker’:
The Exorcist nodded, still thoughtful, then turned and left the office. Komui watched him go, mind already turning back to the issue at hand.
What was the real truth behind Mikk's supposed defection from the Earl's side?
And Now, The Continuation
A Game of Poker, Chapter 17
Infirmary Visit
Lavi sighed. He was sitting up in bed with his legs swung over the side as he watched the hands move around the clock. It was about lunchtime already and he was anxious to leave and talk to Komui about what the Order was planning to do with Tyki.
The redhead turned, looking behind himself to where the Noah lay resting behind a closed privacy curtain. Though the Exorcist couldn't see the man at the moment, he knew that Tyki's arms and legs had been set and the healing bones were now protected by casts. The Noah's ruined clothes - the Head Nurse had cut the cloth rather than risk injuring her patient more by removing his shirt and pants the usual way - were gone. The man's undergarments and the warm blanket laid gently over him served to protect his modesty.
Tyki would be fine. Lavi, Lenalee, and the Head Nurse had done all they could and now the Noah was on his way to recovering completely.
Upon arriving at the infirmary last night, Lenalee had gone into the woman's room to rouse her while he had placed the unconscious Noah gently on one of the empty hospital beds. The Nurse hadn't been happy to be woken up so quickly after she had gone to sleep, but she had come running the moment Lenalee had told her that there was a person in the infirmary awaiting her help.
The Head Nurse had asked few questions beyond what injuries Tyki had, mostly asking for details on how he had been injured. Lavi had answered as best he could and had told her the basics of who Tyki was and why he was now at the Order headquarters, even though she hadn't asked and seemed concerned only with how best to help the unconscious man. She had gone to work immediately, sending Lavi and Lenalee for scissors, bandages, and plaster.
There had been nothing they could do about the seal on the Noah's chest. It seemed to have been burned onto his body, meaning it would need to be surgically removed. Since removing it would destroy it and it didn't appear to be life threatening, the Head Nurse had left it alone. There was no telling what the seal did or what effect removing it might have. The Science Department would have to run tests on it before anything could be done. Tyki's Tease had flown from Lavi's hair to stand vigil over Tyki's bed, settling on the horizontal pole at the top of the headboard above the Noah's head. It hadn't moved since.
Once Tyki had been taken care of, the Head Nurse had run a swift but thorough check up on Lavi. Upon finding out that he was in perfect health (though in desperate need of a razor, which he had gotten with breakfast, a change of clothes, and his eyepatch), she had demanded that he spend the night in the infirmary anyway, just to be sure.
Lavi hadn't minded. He wasn't sure when the privacy curtain had been put around Tyki's bed, but it hadn't been there when he had fallen asleep in the bed next to the Noah's bed. Lavi had watched the Pleasure's sleeping figure until he had fallen asleep himself and the curtain had been there when he awoke a few hours ago.
It was almost time for him to leave. The Head Nurse had just finished a second check up on his injuries and had left a few moments ago to fill out the form signifying that Lavi was once again well enough to send out into the field.
Lavi studied the curtain hiding Tyki from prying eyes. He might not be able to come back here for a while, especially if Komui had told Bookman about the redhead's involvement in the Noah's rescue. The old Panda wouldn't like that one bit and would try to keep Lavi busy or lecture him about 'attachments' to discourage the apprentice from visiting the injured man.
Lavi knew the rules. He knew he'd have to end this thing between himself and Tyki eventually, but... 'eventually' was not 'now'. There was still some time left until the end, especially if Gramps remained unaware of what went on between Bookman Junior and the Noah of Pleasure.
Bookman would force him to end it eventually, but until then he could let himself enjoy what he had with Tyki.
Slowly, the movement almost unconscious, he began to push himself to his feet. Before the Nurse came back he'd check in on Tyki, just draw the curtain aside for a moment and see how he was doing-
The sound of approaching footsteps reached his ears. Guiltily, he jerked his gaze towards the sound's source as he settled his weight back on the bed. He forced a smile onto his face as he recognized who it was that walked towards him.
Komui tried to return the smile, but his eyes were too serious and didn't match the curve of his lips. The white-clad man stopped a few feet from the bed Lavi sat on, taking a sip from his blue bunny cup of coffee. The redhead was tense but tried not to let it show on his face. He wasn't worried about what Komui might do - the supervisor was a nice person, generally - but Komui was the one who would decide what would happen to Tyki. The Grand Generals would try to butt in when they heard about it, but that wouldn't be for a few months, hopefully. Until then, Komui was in charge of their once-enemy.
"Hello, Komui!" he said, attempting his usual cheer. "How are you?"
Komui's eyes flicked to the privacy curtain, then came to rest on Lavi once more. The redhead tried to keep the same happy, goofy smile on his face, but the tension inside him went up a notch.
"I have a few questions for you about the Noah," Komui told him, tone almost gentle. Lavi nodded. He had expected the supervisor to show up some time today, though he was a bit surprised that the man had showed up so early.
"Sure. Shoot."
"First of all, I need more details on the events leading up to last night." Komui said. "Specifically, I need to know why you rescued Tyki Mikk."
Lavi winced. This line of questioning could only end badly. He doubted Komui would let him leave it at 'he saved my life', but it was worth a try anyway.
"I felt like I owed him," the redhead answered. It wasn't a total lie. Part of him did feel like he owed Tyki for his own life, though that wasn't even half of his reason for rescuing the Noah. It wasn't even an eighth of his reason, though 'owing' was the safest answer he could come up with. "He did save my life, so-"
"Why did he save your life, then?" Komui asked, studying the Exorcist intently. "How? When?"
Lavi looked away. There went his miniscule hope that the supervisor would leave the subject well enough alone. If Lavi revealed what he knew and what he suspected, at worst he'd be accused of fraternization (though he doubted much would come from the charge, he didn't need the hassle of an investigation) and Bookman would find out. At best... Bookman would still find out and Bookman would force Lavi to end his 'relationship', for lack of a better word (though the term implied that emotions and not necessarily bodies were involved) with Tyki before he was ready.
Neither option was particularly appealing.
"Lavi?"
The redhead looked back up to his supervisor. Komui gave him a searching look, waiting for his answer. With a deep breath, Lavi began to speak.
"When I was captured by the Noah family," he said slowly, seeing Komui nod. "The Earl ordered Tyki to kill me. Tyki instead pretended to put a Tease in my chest and faked my death. He bandaged my injuries and got me through the Ark by sending one of his golems as a guide. He fought the Earl, another Noah, and Akuma so that I could escape."
Komui seemed to absorb the information, taking another sip of coffee.
"'Tease'..." he mused. "Those are the butterfly shaped cannibal golems Mikk uses, right? You say it led you through the Ark?"
Lavi nodded. He could see Komui's interest spike for a moment before the man shook himself and returned his attention to the topic at hand. The redhead had little doubt that Komui was planning to study the Tease sometime in the near future.
"That still doesn't answer 'why', Lavi. Why would Mikk save you?"
Lavi looked away, eyes landing on the privacy curtain and sticking there. He didn't know why Tyki had done it either. All he had were guesses. He had briefly considered that it could be a plot of the Earl's, but that notion had been immediately discarded. If this was some sort of plot, it was much more convoluted than any the Earl had come up with before - his relationship with Tyki couldn't be part of the Manufacturer's plan, it simply made no sense. Tyki would have killed him the first night they had slept together or would have killed him the first night he had tried to if everything had been part of the Earl's 'scenario'.
The redhead wanted to believe that Tyki had saved him because he cared, but at the same time hoped that wasn't true. He would need to break this off eventually and ending this would only hurt the Noah if his emotions were involved. Lavi knew his own heart wouldn't be completely unaffected, but whatever pain he felt would teach him not to let his heart wander so freely again.
His chest ached oddly and he rubbed at it absently.
Why had Tyki saved him? The only feasible explanation was that the man cared, since he hadn't gotten anything from saving Lavi except a trip to the Earl's dungeon, but the Pleasure had said once or twice that their 'dalliances' didn't mean anything to him. Had the man been lying then? Was it just a whim to spare the Exorcist's life? If so, why take it so far?
The Exorcist didn't know. Tyki's motivations were just as much a mystery to him as they were to Komui. To tell the supervisor his suspicions would be to admit to a relationship with the Noah, and if word ever got back to Bookman-
"Lavi?"
The redhead jerked his gaze back to Komui, realizing the man was still waiting for his answer.
"I don't know," Lavi answered lamely, looking at the floor.
“‘Call it a whim.’"
"No idea?" Komui prodded. Lavi shook his head, still not looking at the white-clad man. Komui was quiet for a moment, then let the subject drop.
"Are you certain that this isn't one of the Earl's tricks?" Komui asked him seriously. The redhead immediately met Komui's eyes and nodded firmly.
"Tyki's on our side."
If nothing else, he was sure about that. The events inside the Noah's stronghold had to be genuine, even if he didn't know what had made Tyki act the way he had. The Pleasure wouldn't go crawling back to the Earl once he was fully healed. There was no place for Tyki now but inside the Black Order, since the Order could provide asylum from the other Noah and the Earl's Akuma at least.
Komui seemed a bit shocked by the absolute conviction in Lavi's voice, but quickly recovered. He took another sip of his coffee and nodded slowly.
"All right then - if you remember anything else or think of something that might be important, come and tell me." The supervisor turned to go. Before Lavi could stop himself, he felt his mouth open and heard his voice speak.
"What's going to happen to him?"
Komui turned back around, eyes widened slightly behind his glasses. Lavi tried to keep his apprehension off of his face, but refused to take back the question now that it was spoken. He did want to know, after all, even if he had planned on making more subtle inquiries.
The supervisor pushed his glasses up his nose and cleared his throat.
"Since we can't determine his loyalty, we're going to study the seal on his chest and transfer the effect to a set of manacles. He'll have a twenty-four hour a day guard and be mostly confined to his room until we can figure out for sure who he's loyal to. He'll be allowed in the cafeteria to choose his own meals, but will eat in his room." The white-clad man studied Lavi. "Was there anything else you wanted to know?"
Lavi started to shake his head, a sense of relief washing through him, then another question occurred to him. He hesitated, the words on the tip of his tongue. Komui waited, watching him.
"Could I... visit him?" the redhead asked slowly, not looking at the supervisor. There was dead, shocked silence for a moment, then Komui spoke.
"Of course, Lavi. I'll let the Finders know. If you're planning on visiting him, then you're under obligation to tell me if he tells you anything that might be important. Bookman and I will be questioning him, but-"
"Questioning?" Lavi interjected quickly, looking back up. Komui nodded slowly, seemingly puzzled by the redhead's apparent concern.
"Nothing painful. Talking, nothing more."
The Exorcist nodded his understanding. Telling Komui what Tyki said wasn't really within the Bookmen's rules, since he wasn't supposed to interfere and handing information to one side of the war could be seen as meddling, but he didn't plan to talk to the Noah about the war. He and Bookman were sort of walking on the wrong side of the line by joining it as soldiers anyway, even if it was to get information on the secret battles. Bookman would probably ignore Lavi passing on to Komui what Tyki told the redhead.
However, Bookman wouldn't ignore Lavi visiting the Noah.
"Komui?" Lavi said softly, meeting the supervisor's eyes. The man nodded in acknowledgement.
"What is it, Lavi?"
"Could you not tell Bookman about this?" he asked. "Me going to see Tyki, I mean. I don't think he'd approve."
Slowly, Komui nodded. His expression was unreadable.
"Of course. Was there anything else you needed?"
Lavi shook his head, a relieved smile on his face.
"Thank you." the redhead said quietly. Komui nodded, smiling kindly, then turned to leave. The Exorcist watched him walk towards the door of the infirmary, mind not really concentrating on what he was seeing until Komui reached the wooden door and the redhead noticed the small man leaning on the wall next to it.
Lavi felt frozen in shock, a sinking feeling weighing him down and rooting him to the spot as keen eyes ringed by heavy black makeup met his. Bookman was not happy with him, not at all. The redhead knew the old Panda's ears were good, more than good enough to hear the entire damning conversation he had just had with Komui.
The supervisor seemed just as surprised to see Bookman as Lavi was, stopping next to the door.
"Good morning, Bookman. Were you here to see Lavi?"
Bookman's eyes never left those of his apprentice.
"No. I'll speak to him later."
The old man turned, nodding civilly to the supervisor before grabbing the doorknob and opening the door. Bookman left, door hanging open behind him.
Komui stared, perplexed, then glanced back to Lavi and waved a quick goodbye before he, too, left. The redhead was still frozen in place as the door shut quietly behind the white-clad man.
Bookman knew. He had to know. There was no way he could have missed it.
The redhead turned away from the door, eyes landing on the privacy curtain that hid Tyki. His gaze darted once to the Head Nurse's office, then back to the curtain. He stood, moving quickly around his bed to the hanging cloth. Without a second thought, he ducked behind the curtain.
The light was slightly muted behind the cloth, but nothing his eyes really needed to adjust to. The redhead paused for a moment just inside the small cloth wall, eyes moving automatically to the head of the bed. Tyki seemed to be sleeping peacefully, face relaxed and carefree in a way Lavi had never seen it. He had never woken up next to the Noah, so this was the first time he had ever seen the man's sleeping face.
Slowly, not really realizing he was moving, his feet began to carry him to Tyki's side. The Tease, which was still perched on the horizontal bar of the headboard, flapped its wings in greeting. Lavi smiled at it briefly before his feet came to a stop. He looked down at the Pleasure, reaching out to absently brush a wavy lock of dark hair from the man's forehead.
It was almost odd to see him such a human color, rather than gray. It was strange not to see Tyki's stigmata on his forehead, but it wasn't bad. It made the Pleasure seem more vulnerable, more human. The olive shade of Tyki's skin and the lack of scars drove home just how helpless Tyki was at the moment; he could no longer use his abilities, was injured, and stuck inside the stronghold of those who had been his worst enemies because his former comrades were probably trying to kill or capture him.
Unconsciously, Lavi began to lean forward. He caught himself when his lips were less than an inch from Tyki's and he stopped, undecided.
It was wrong to take advantage of an unconscious man, wasn't it? But this wasn't really 'taking advantage'... the redhead was fairly certain Tyki would allow him a kiss if the Noah was awake. That made it okay, right?
Still uncertain of whether or not the act was morally sound, the redhead impulsively closed the distance and pressed his lips gently to the older man's unresponsive mouth. He kept the kiss gentle, chaste, only briefly touching his lips to the Noah's before pulling back with his lips tingling from the contact. His eyes widened as he realized what he had done.
The redhead put a hand to his mouth, almost horrified. Bookman would have been furious to see his apprentice kissing someone so sweetly, since such a gentle contact implied that there was more than just a physical relationship. ‘Fuckbuddies’, crude as the term was, didn’t kiss so softly. Fuckbuddies didn’t feel the drive to protect or save their partner, not like Lavi felt for Tyki. While it was frowned upon, Bookmen could have such a ‘buddy’ as long as no attachment was formed, but the redhead’s impulsive desire to press his lips chastely against the Noah’s made it seem as if there was more than just the physical aspect of a relationship between them.
The Exorcist knew otherwise. There was no other aspect but the physical to the ‘relationship’ he had with Tyki. His stolen kiss had been purely self-satisfaction of a different sort than he normally found with the Pleasure.
He ran a questioning finger over his lips, almost able to feel Tyki's presence there. There was a choked warmth in his chest he dared not think about, a pained heat different from what he felt when the older man's hand touched him intimately.
Bookman would be furious if he found out. Lavi didn’t intend to tell him. It seemed this farce of a bond had turned into a worse violation of the Bookman’s Code than he had initially suspected. Bookman already knew he had formed an attachment from the conversation the older man must have overheard between Lavi and Komui, but the redhead was sure his mentor didn’t know how deep the attachment went. Even he hadn’t known how bad it had gotten until just now.
That one chaste, stolen kiss tasted sweeter on his lips than the rest of the heated kisses he and Tyki had shared. The passionate kisses were nice - wonderful, even - but there was something about the innocent brushing of lips that made his heart - the heart he wasn’t supposed to have - feel too big for his chest yet too small for the emotions it contained.
There was only one other time he had felt this way when kissing Tyki, though he hadn't felt it nearly this much. That time had been a lie too, though at least for that kiss the Noah had been awake and responding.
As the kiss began to get heated, the Noah ended it. Annoyed, the Exorcist opened his eye and sent a half-hearted glare at the man. He wouldn't break or shatter from anything the Pleasure did tonight, and he wanted to feel that passion he knew the other felt for him. As nice as the kiss had been, all innocence and sugar without spice or heat, it was a lie. His chest ached oddly at the thought, but he shoved the feeling aside.
It was still a lie and would always be a lie. A true Bookman wouldn't regret that, but Lavi was only an apprentice. A true Bookman wouldn’t have found himself in this situation, in deep violation of the greatest of the Bookmen’s rules: ‘form no attachments’.
Bookman could never be allowed to find out about this. At this point there was no way to keep the old man from suspecting, but hopefully the Panda hadn’t heard the entire conversation with Komui and hopefully Lavi would be able to keep everything hidden well enough so that his mentor would never find out for certain.
The soft sound of metal scraping on metal caught his attention. He turned his gaze to the butterfly clinging to the headboard and gave it a thin smile he didn’t really feel.
"You're going to protect him, then?" he asked it. The Tease was so much like Timcanpy, even if only in the fact that both golems seem to have a like of biting things and both possessed intelligence and personalities. The butterfly's wings moved up and down in an affirmative. The redhead smiled, then awkwardly reached out to brush one of the Tease's wings.
"Thanks," he said. The Head Nurse was probably done with his release forms by now. With a sigh and one last, long glance at the sleeping Noah, Lavi turned and headed out from behind the privacy curtain.
As he made his way back over to his own bed, a thought occurred to him that made him pause and glance back at the Noah now hidden by the hanging cloth. Since he had been picked up by Bookman and raised as the man’s apprentice, all he had wanted and all he had known were the ways of the Bookmen. Why was it so easy to forget those rules now?
Why did he want to keep what little he had with Tyki, even if the cost was the old Panda’s anger? All his life, he had wanted nothing to do with other people and had been a master at masks and hiding his real emotions. In all his other 48 personas, he hadn’t had any difficulty in pretending to be who he was not and acting the part of his assigned character time after time. He had never been in danger of forming friendships or worse, romantic relationships.
Why did ‘Lavi’ have so much trouble with avoiding bonds? Bookman Junior had never wanted anything but to be a perfect Bookman one day, so how could it be that he now found himself juggling a desire for friends, a desire for family, and a desire for -
He wouldn’t let himself think that word yet. Even though he had fallen far, he couldn’t have fallen so hard and so quickly. He couldn’t have come so low when his feet had rested so firmly on his ambition before.
How could he be juggling a desire for companionship with his dream of becoming a flawless Bookman now when he had never had trouble before? Why did he want to have his dream and his friends, even though he knew he could never have both? Bookman Junior wasn’t in the habit of wishing for the impossible, or at least he hadn’t been before he had come to the Order.
Had ‘Lavi’ changed him to the point where he no longer even wanted to be a Bookman? That wasn’t possible, was it? A persona he had assumed shouldn’t be able to change who he was at the core. Even so, as he looked deep within himself, he couldn’t find the raging fire of his ambition to be a Bookman. All that was left was a candle flame, easily overshadowed and outweighed by ‘Lavi’s’ desires. Given time the candle could once again blaze brightly, but first the other fires would need to be destroyed.
He would need to stop wanting to spend time with Lenalee, Allen, and Kanda. His heart would need to stop aching when he thought of Tyki. He would need to stop calling Bookman ‘gramps’ and half-meaning it.
Lavi didn’t want to. Lavi wanted to cling to those wants and those bonds with all of his strength and never let go of the family he had found. Bookman Junior wasn’t so sure that he wanted those desires to end so that his ambition was all he had once more.
‘Lavi’ really had messed him up, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about that or regret it. He wanted to be who he was now for just a little while longer.
Just a little while longer, and then he’d accept the consequences of having formed bonds while with the Black Order. Even if he was ‘Lavi’ right now, he was still Bookman Junior and would always be Bookman Junior. ‘Lavi’ wouldn’t be around forever, but until it was time for ‘Lavi’ to disappear he would let himself enjoy the bonds he had formed.
As long as Bookman didn't know for sure, he would be able to enjoy the attachments he had unwittingly made.
TBC…
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