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This is Part Two of my Massive Diana Wynne Jones Novels Roundup, focusing on her series books: the Castle books, the Chrestomanci books, the Dalemark Quartet, the Derkholm books, and the Magids books. (Part one, with the one-offs, is over here.) In other words, BEWARE MORE GLEEFUL PIMPING.
The Castle Books
Title: Howl's Moving Castle
Plot: In the land of Ingary, everyone knows that the youngest of three is inevitably Special. Sophie, unfortunately, is the eldest of three sisters, and has therefore resigned herself to a quiet and responsible life helping her stepmother in the family hat shop and listening to rumors about the terrible Witch of the Waste and Horrible Howl, the wizard who eats hearts. One day, however the Witch sweeps into Sophie's hat shop and casts a spell on her that turns the eighteen-year-old into an eighty-year-old woman, and all of a sudden there doesn't seem any choice but to set out to seek her fortune and a cure. In short order, she finds herself playing the role of crotchety housekeeper at Howl's moving castle while she tries to figure out a way to break the spell on her, break Howl's bargain with a fire demon, and figure out whether he really does keep a box of chewed-up hearts under his bed . . .
Why It's Awesome: This is arguably Diana Wynne Jones' most popular book, and certainly her most well-known due to the Miyazaki film - and there's a reason for it! Sophie and Howl are both incredible characters who go through a ton of development throughout the book, and it's awesome to see. I love independent and angry and difficult ladies, and I love it especially when books portray that independence and strong-mindedness as a good thing, which is why it is incredibly gratifying for me to see Sophie's transformation from a timid and dutiful mouse to a strong-minded, crotchety, unabashedly nosy woman who will not take any guff from anyone. Howl, meanwhile, is a wonderful jumble of charm and slitheriness and cleverness and sweetness and irresponsibility and vanity; I defy you to find another romantic hero who throws green-slime tantrums when his hair dye comes out the wrong color! Basically the whole story is funny and sweet and charming without ever being insipid - the scene where Sophie furiously weed-kills her way down the driveway is classic - with a whole slew of awesome side characters. And how can you not love a book where the dramatic final showdown involves a babbly family reunion and an old lady swatting at evil orange blobs with a broom?
Things To Be Wary Of: Actually this is one of those books that I don't think I've ever known anyone to dislike! (Now watch someone comment here just to prove me wrong, but.) It is classic Diana Wynne Jones, with very little of the lurking uncomfortable darkness that you get in even the most cheery of her other books, and I would recommend it to anyone.
Title: Castle in the Air
Plot: Abdullah is an ordinary, not-too-wealthy carpet merchant who one day finds himself accidentally in possession of a magic carpet. The carpet takes him to the garden of the beautiful and secluded Flower-in-the-Night; Abdullah is, of course, instantly infatuated, and when Flower-in-the-Night is stolen away by a djinn, it's time for some Unlikely Heroics! After escaping from Flower-in-the-Night's angry father and his own angry relatives, Abdullah starts out on a Quest to get her back, accompanied only by his trusty carpet, a cranky and unhelpful genie, an untrustworthy northern soldier, and some very disapproving cats.
Why It's Awesome: This is a sneaky sort of sequel to Howl's Moving Castle, and what I love most about it is that it gives you a completely different view of the characters from that book - several of whom really tick Abdullah off. And rightfully! I love it when authors are willing to have sympathetic characters dislike each other. Extremely polite Abdullah is a fun character in his own right, and, though the plot sounds like it could be awfully damsel-in-distress-y, the kidnapped princesses (Flower-in-the-Night included) actually turn out to be TOTALLY HARDCORE. And Sensible Princess Beatrice gets the most adorable middle-aged romance ever! Plus, how can you not love a book where the day-saving is accomplished through the agency of a squid-loving dog and a three-year-old's tantrum?
Things To Be Wary Of: I really enjoy Castle in the Air, but a lot of people tend to be disappointed coming to it straight after Howl's Moving Castle, because it's really not as strong as a book. Also, the whole book is basically Diana Wynne Jones riffing gently off of a lot of Arabian Nights tropes the way she does Eurofantasy tropes in her other books; it doesn't read as too problematic because I know the kind of story she's parodying, and because Abdullah and Flower-in-the-Night are definitely strong characters in their own right, but it is very possible that it would come off as problematic to people who are not-me and not as blinded by DWJ-love.
Title: House of Many Ways
Plot: Bookworm Charmain has been recruited to house-sit for her Great-Uncle, which would be fine except that a.) she has no idea how to do basic household chores, b.) her Great-Uncle is the Royal Wizard and his house is magical, and c.) an irritating apprentice wizard named Peter has popped up unexpectedly and is bopping around messing up spells and disturbing Charmain's reading time! Also the kingdom is in terrible danger from the creepy-evil magical insects the lubbocks, which is another threat to Charmain's reading time. :(
Why It's Awesome: Charmain is an awesome figure of identification for all bookworms! Who hasn't wanted to put off the laundry and the cleaning and everything else and lock yourself in a room with a book all thesome of the time? Also, much of the plot takes place in or involves a threat to a library, and everyone has their priorities exactly in order on this subject - which is to say, when the library is threatened, everyone parks themselves in front of it and shouts "NOT THE LIBRARY, GO FIGHT SOMEWHERE ELSE!" Meanwhile, the lubbockin are terribly creepy villains. And the cameos from Howl's Moving Castle are glorious - Sophie, Howl et al turn up in HILARIOUS force, although not in the way you expect (let us say that yet again Howl and DWJ indulge their passion for secret identities), the fire demon Calcifer is there being utterly adorable, and there is even an appearance by Jamal the cook from Castle in the Air and his dog!
Things To Be Wary Of: This is a book that's filled with glee for Howl's Moving Castle fans, but I can't necessarily say whether it would be quite as filled with glee for someone who didn't know the backstory or why all these apparently random characters popped up to help save the day. Don't read it before Howl's Moving Castle and Castle in the Air, basically.
The Chrestomanci Books
Title: The Lives of Christopher Chant
Plot: Christopher doesn't realize that traveling to other worlds in his sleep is anything out of the ordinary - or miraculously healing from a number of should-be-fatal accidents, for that matter - but everyone else is convinced that he's a nine-lived enchanter and destined to be an extremely powerful magician. As a result, Christopher gets packed off to train to be the next Chrestomanci (a government position in charge of overseeing the magic of his world) despite the fact that all he really wants to do is play cricket. Add in a smuggling ring, a bored teenage Goddess with a fondness for British girl's boarding school novels, and the fact that Christopher seems to be accidentally killing his lives off like flies, and things are about to get very interesting at Chrestomanci Castle . . .
Why It's Awesome: We get to follow Christopher from when he's quite young into his adolescence, and he's such a real kid! He just wants to hang out with his friends and babble about sports and occasionally have adventures; he's sympathetic, but he's also cranky and sulky and kind of a brat who often doesn't realize how obnoxious he's being until someone points it out. And then he gets character growth! It's awesome! "Millie", the Goddess, is amazing, and fully capable of holding her own against Christopher and more (and how can you not love a girl whose dream is to live out EVERY BOARDING SCHOOL CLICHE there is?) Christopher's friend/mentor Tacroy is also a really interesting character, and the madcap hilarious hijinks are epic, from Near-Death By Cricket Ball To the Head, to the grand finale when all the gardener's boys and secretaries and cooks get to run around being badass and concocting booby traps out of stinky cheese.
Things To Be Wary Of: I love Millie so much that I have a hard time putting on the critical goggles to look at her storyline, but the fact is that Millie's world partakes of a lot of Orientalist cliches, even if many of them are later subverted. Same with Tacroy - I can easily see how his storyline might read as a bit skeevy. Diana Wynne Jones (in my opinion) is very good at writing real characters who don't feel Othered at all, so I don't even notice it until I take a step back, but it's worth mentioning.
Title: Conrad's Fate
Plot: According to Conrad's uncle, Conrad is unfortunately suffering from bad karma and is doomed to die within the year. Naturally, Conrad would quite like to do somethingabout this. This is all tied up with the fact that someone up at Stallery Mansion is playing with the details of the reality of the world, so Conrad gamely goes undercover at Stallery, disguised as a servant-trainee, to figure out what's going on and try to alter his fate. While he's there, he meets a mysterious fellow-trainee (or fellow-snoop) called Christopher, who's there looking for his missing friend Millie . . .
Why It's Awesome: Conrad and Christopher are an amazing odd-couple duo. Conrad is serious and responsible and trying very hard to accomplish his goals; Christopher is confident and breezy and often very charming and incredibly obnoxious. My favorite part of the book may be the bit when it's explained that Christopher wanted Millie to go to a private island with him, and Millie, hilariously and QUITE REASONABLY, is like "if I was trapped on a private island with Christopher I WOULD GO CRAZY." Oh Millie, you are so astoundingly sane! Speaking of, it's also really fun to see this glimpse into Christopher/Chrestomanci and Millie and their relationship in between their meeting in Lives of Christopher Chant and their settled family life in Charmed Life. I was super excited when it came out, and super excited while reading it, and am super excited to reread it one of these days again soon!
Things To Be Wary Of: Not much that I can remember! It's not my favorite of favorite Chrestomanci books, but it's a solid entry in the series and provides a lot of awesome characters and character development.
Title: Charmed Life
Plot: Tragic (and Ambitious) Young Orphan Gwendolen has heaps of natural magical talent. Her younger brother Cat, who's not talented at much of anything, is just happy to trust her talent and let her take care of everything. But when Gwendolen engineers for the two of them to be taken in and trained by their distant relative - who happens to be Chrestomanci - Cat starts to discover that life in Gwendolen's shadow may have its downside. For one thing, Gwendolen seems to have decided that she's at magical war with Chrestomanci, his magically powered children Roger and Julia, and everyone else in the castle. For another, it's starting to look like Gwendolen's plans don't involve taking care of Cat so much as using him. When Gwendolen disappears unexpectedly, leaving in her place a confused lookalike from another world, Cat has to figure out how to take care of someone else for once in his life while he desperately cleans up the dangerous messes that Gwendolen left behind.
Why It's Awesome: I love seeing Cat's slow growth of agency over the course of the book, as he starts to develop a spine and an identity. His lost, insignificant feelings are really identifiable, which makes it very satisfying for me when he finally does start to get a grip on things. This is also a wonderful book in which to meet the cool, elegant adult Christopher/Chrestomanci, who always looks most infuriatingly vague just when he's paying the most attention. (And let's face it, his incredibly fabulous dressing gowns are the real star of the story. I spent a significant part of my childhood in envy of Chrestomanci's dressing gowns.) I also love the Chrestomanci kids, Roger and Julia - powerful, opinionated, slightly bullying, very ordinary-looking, and fun - and the slow growth of understanding between them and Cat. Also, as an interesting note, Diana Wynne Jones has said that Cat is written to fall somewhere on the autistic spectrum, and the book is fascinating as read in that light.
Things To Be Wary Of: A lot of people get very frustrated with Cat's passivity, which is totally understandable, although it doesn't bother me.
Title: The Magicians of Caprona
Plot: The Montana and the Petrocchis are the two most powerful enchanter families in Caprona, and they've been feuding for generations (nobody quite remembers why, but it has something to do with a distant ancestor and a plate of enchanted spaghetti.) Now the magical virtue of Caprona is declining, the city is about to go to war, and nobody's spells have anything like the power they used to; the Duke is a Punch-and-Judy obsessed idiot, the Duchess is creepy as all getout, and they've lost the words to Angel of Caprona, a powerful song-hymn that could help set everything right. When Tonino Montana and Angela Petrocchi - two of the youngest members of each house, and the two whose spells never seem to go right - are kidnapped, the families look more likely to go to war against each other than against Caprona's enemies. That leaves it up to Tonino and Angela (and some of their saner siblings and cousins) to save the day themselves, with a little help from a foreign enchanter called Chrestomanci.
Why It's Awesome: First of all, the whole plot is basically DWJ having WAY TOO MUCH FUN with Romeo and Juliet: the feuding families engage in epic magical food fights and practical jokes, while the star-crossed lovers come up with a thoroughly sensible plan to fool everyone with cunning disguises! Also, most of the book is told through Tonino's eyes, and it's hard not to fall at a little bit in love with the whole melodramatic laughing fighting shouting spellcasting Montoya clan. Tonino loves his family and is proud of them, and even though some of their illusions about their specialness are disabused by the end, there's no denying that they're a fabulous group. Every great-aunt and uncle and cousin has a thoroughly individual personality and place in the community, and I love watching them in action. (Dramatic feuds aside, they're also a kind of amazingly healthy family for a Diana Wynne Jones book!)
Things To Be Wary Of: If creepy puppets and mind-control freak you out, BE WARNED - there is a scene that will give you nightmares. Also, if you're here for the Chrestomanci, there's not all that much of him - but there's a lot of other awesomeness, so don't let that put you off!
Title: Witch Week
Plot: Larwood House is a fairly standard low-rent British boarding school, except for the fact that a significant percentage of the students are witch-orphans - children whose parents or relatives were executed for the crime of witchcraft. When someone sends an anonymous note to the teacher of class 6B (or 2Y, depending on your edition) saying that someone in the class is a witch, half the class thinks it's a tactless joke, but some of the others are starting to point fingers - and a few of them, such as dumpy, nervous Nan Pilgrim and Charles Morgan, master of the double-barreled death glare, are starting to figure out that maybe the note wasn't exactly a lie. Of course, the trick is to figure out how to use their powers without getting caught and burned at the stake . . .
Why It's Awesome: This is definitely my favorite of the Chrestomanci books, maybe because it's a bit darker than most of the others - or maybe it's just that I adore all the characters! Larwood House is full of extremely messed-up kids and I love every single one of them beyond words, from Nan with her uncontrollabe outbursts of creative monologue, to Nirupam Singh with his mournful face and his deadpan humor, to bouncy chatterbox Estelle who's not nearly as vapid as she looks. I also love how DWJ doesn't fall into the trap of making the unpopular kids automatically likeable; trauma and suspicion has affected them in a lot of ways, and several of them have a lot of growing up to do before they can be considered decent human beings again. That being said, they all are sympathetic in their own ways - and it's a very ensemble book, which you all know I adore. They all start out despising each other, and learn about teamwork! Chrestomanci is fabulous too (and makes an entrance in another glorious dressing gown!) and helps to sort things out with his usual flair, and there is, as always, a significant amount of truly hilarious comedy. The scene where Charles and Nirupam are trying to escape the school on an aging mop and a garden hoe? Sheer beauty.
Things To Be Wary Of: This is another one that I would recommend pretty much unreservedly - but don't go into it expecting a jovial early Harry Potter atmosphere. This isn't a nice boarding school book.
Title: The Pinhoe Egg
Plot: There's something dodgy going on with Marianne's family - well, aside from the fact that they use magic that they keep secret from the government, specifically from Chrestomanci, who happens to live practically next door. That, however, is your standard everyday dodgy for the Pinhoes. Now, however, the Pinhoes seem to be getting into a feud with a local family, something weird is going on with Marianne's grandmother and uncles, and, somewhat to her surprise, she finds herself teaming up secretly with Cat Chant to hatch a mysterious egg.
Why It's Awesome: All of the characters who were awesome in Charmed Life are back again in force, being awesome! And all the magic is mixed-in with the kind of mundanity DWJ does very well, like Janet and Julia's horse-craziness and Roger and Joe's business scheme. And it's very cool to see Cat growing as a character.
Things To Be Wary Of: This doesn't have quite the spark of the other Chrestomanci books, and I found the ending sort of unsatisfying, although that may be idiosyncratic of me.
The Dalemark Quartet
Title: Cart and Cwidder
Plot: Moril and his family are traveling Singers, one of the few groups that is able to travel between Dalemark's tightly-restricted South and the more liberal North. Moril's biggest irritation on this particular trip through the South is their annoyingly haughty passenger, Kialan - until his father, Clennen the Singer, is suddenly killed by soldiers of the Earl of the South Dales, without warning or explanation, and it turns out that no part of Moril's life was exactly as it seemed. Moril, his brother and sister Brid and Dagner, and Kialan (who has secrets of his own) have to somehow complete their father's mission and make their way to the relative safety of the North. And on top of all that, there seems to be something strange and magical about Moril's cwidder . . .
Why It's Awesome: Okay, first of all, it bears mentioning that I love the Dalemark Quartet LIKE BURNING. It is significantly less in the vein of madcap comedy than most of Diana Wynne Jones' other books, and although this first book is the most straightforward and simple of them all, the themes of politics and warfare and intrigue and class and revolution are woven into the background even here. Moving to specifics, I love this particular book for the story of these kids struggling valiantly to take on adult roles that are well beyond their capacities - and failing, a good portion of the time, but trying, anyways, even as they cope with grief and shock and the knowledge that their world is never going to be the same. HUGS FOR EVERYONE. I also love the quiet creepy complexity of the relationship between Moril's parents, and how neither of them is quite the bad guy there, and how much is said in silences.
Things To Be Wary Of: The North/South thing looks a lot like a straightforward dichotomy in this book. It's not, but that only gets revealed later on. Also, it bears mentioning once more that the Dalemark Quartet is not in the typical vein of Diana Wynne Jones comedy, and I remember being pretty disappointed when I read it the first time when I was ten and hoping for a laugh.
Title: Drowned Ammett
Plot: Rising rents and a worsening economy force Mitt's family out of a semi-idyllic country life into poverty in the city - where Mitt's father joins a revolutionary force and then dies in an ill-advised raid. Mitt grows into a teenager who's hard, bitter and angry, thinking mostly of ways to SIMULTANEOUSLY take revenge on the revolutionary group that he believes betrayed his father, and to strike a blow against the tyrant Earl of Holand who actually killed his father. (Mitt dreams big.) He and his mother Milda have worked up a plan that can't fail - but, of course, when the plan finally goes into action, everything does go wrong, and Mitt somehow finds himself fleeing the city on a boat with Hildy and Ynen, the grandchildren of the Earl that he just tried to murder.
Why It's Awesome: Here is where the politics of the series really kicks into gear, DWJ ruthlessly portrays both the terrible conditions of Holand, and the hopeless ineffectiveness of the revolutionary groups that try and fight back. Mitt himself is an amazing character who undergoes tremendous amounts of development over the book, as he has to realize some extremely unpleasant truths about himself and work to change them. (I am a total sucker for serious character development.) Hildy and Ynen are great too - Hildy is cranky and authoritarian and fiercely protective of her brother, Ynen is the biggest sweetheart ever to come out of a noble family - and I really love watching the growing understanding between them and Mitt, although the class gulf that divides them is always there and relevant and never ignored.
Things To Watch Out For: Okay, I am the first to admit that the ending makes very little sense until you read the rest of the series ("and then he says a word and a tree grows out of some dude's leg!" "WHAT?" ". . . just go with it"!) but, uh, I do not care. But you may!
Title: The Spellcoats
Plot: Tanaqui and her siblings are different from the surrounding villagers - they they keep different customs and worship different gods, and no one quite trusts them, not even the aunt and uncle who are supposed to be watching over them while their father is at war. Most telling of all, they look rather uncomfortably like the Heathen invaders that their father is supposed to be fighting against. When prejudices rise high, the siblings have to flee down the river with their sick brother, and find themselves caught up in the schemes of their own King and the King of the Heathen, the attack of the evil sorcerer Kankredin, and the forces of the Undying, mysterious mage-gods who are somehow tied to Tanaqui's own family.
Why It's Awesome: This book is a lot more dreamlike and mythological than the other books in the Quartet, but that doesn't mean that the characters aren't incredibly real and distinct or that the relationship between the siblings is any less believable. Also, the method of storytelling is really inventive - the narrative is actually on a coat that Tanaqui is weaving as part of a spell. And I love the way that every piece of magic and every bargain made comes with great effort and has a natural price.
Things To Be Wary Of: I find this book a little more confusing than most of the others (and yet I'm not confused by Hexwood, I know, I know, I'm weird!) and it's pretty slow for the first half before picking up in the second. But I know some people for whom it's their favorite of all the Dalemark books, so YMMV!
Title: The Crown of Dalemark
Plot: Mitt has been given shelter in the North - but he's just found out that that shelter comes at a price, as the Duchess who's been harboring him has now commanded him to assassinate Noreth Onesdaughter, a claimant to the long-abandoned throne. Meanwhile, Maewen, a girl from a future Dalemark that somewhat resembles our own world, finds herself abruptly sent back in time to take Noreth's place and ride the green roads of Dalemark to find the magical tokens that will prove her right to the throne. Being from the future, Maewen knows enough of her history to be clear on who's supposed to become King - it's some fellow called Amil the Great - and so she's confident that she just has to hang in long enough for him to turn up. Until then, though, she's stuck on a quest for the tokens with a motley crew that includes Moril and the glum Singer who's training him, Hildy and Ynen's Machiavellian father Navis, and Mitt, who still has to decide whether or not he's going to kill her.
Why It's Awesome: This is the book where everything in the previous books comes together with a vengeance, and it's AMAZING. The myths about the free and noble and idealistic North are shattered, and the politically complex games that everyone's playing are revealed. They're making a new nation here, with all the messiness that that entails. Character-wise, Mitt and Moril and Navis all come into their own, while Maewen struggles admirably with culture clash and brings the force of her considerable practicality to bear on the problems at hand, and you get a chance to see a lot of the characters from earlier books from a lot of different angles. Basically, no one is simple, EVERYONE IS AWESOME, and I love the whole thing to ridiculous pieces. And the glossary at the back is one of those that's full of fascinating and occasionally casually heartbreaking tidbits, and gives even more of a sense of a full and complicated and incredible world.
Things To Be Wary Of: Prooobably better not to read this one without having read the others! Also, my one complaint: Hildy totally gets the short end of the stick. :(
The Derkholm Books
Title: Dark Lord of Derkholm
Plot: Mr. Chesney has found an alternate fantasy world, and he's hit on a great idea - run tours! Unfortunately, this makes life rather difficult for everyone who actually lives in the world, which is now expected to produce a certain supply of thematically appropriate wars, witches, monsters, and attacks so that the tourists can get their money's worth. It's ruining the economy and a number of the magical creatures' lifestyles, but everyone is too frightened of Mr. Chesney (and the demon he has backing him) to rebel. However, an Oracle has suggested that there is a way out from under Mr. Chesney's thumb - make hapless wizard Derk this year's official Dark Lord, and his son, Blade, one of the wizard tour guides. The reluctant Derk, whose hobby is creating magical creatures, sets out to turn his home into a suitable Dark Fortress with the help of his other children, Shona (the human daughter) and Kit, Callette, Don, Lydda, and Elda (the griffins magically engineered with Derk and his wife's DNA.) Disasters escalate, the family is strained almost to the breaking point, and Mr. Chesney is going to be very unhappy if the tours don't deliver as promised . . .
Why It's Awesome: Half of the appeal of this book is watching every fantasy cliche you can think of get turned around and upside down and relentlessly mocked from every angle; the other half is the family dynamic between Derk and his wife and his children, especially all the highly individual griffins! The characters and their relationships are what make the book a lot more than a parody (although it is a glorious parody too, make no mistake). It's wonderful watching them come together, and it's great to see them all come into their own, too, as they figure out how to overcome each new problem that gets thrown at them.
Things To Be Wary Of: Some of the more disturbing aspects of the fantasy land's exploitation and its horrific results are occasionally glossed over a little too much as the plot zooms along. There's also a scene involving actual or attempted sexual assault (it's a little unclear how much happens) that could be triggery, and which does not go as deeply into the implications as it should.
Title: The Year of the Griffin
Plot: Elda, Derk's youngest griffin daughter, is going to wizard school to learn magic! She is SUPER EXCITED. However, the school doesn't quite live up to her dreams, as they're still struggling to make up for their funding issues from decades of Mr. Chesney's exploitation and a lot of magical theory and experimentation has been dropped by the wayside to churn out as many experts in the basics as possible. Elda and her friends in the new class aren't content with learning the basics - they want to go crazy and have fun with magic! However, the rest of the students have problems of their own, ranging from jinxes to pirates to assassins, so between that and the incompetence of the teachers they're likely to have an interesting year . . .
Why It's Awesome: If Dark Lord of Derkholm was the big epic fantasy novel joyously ripped to shreds, Year of the Griffin happily does the same thing for the Fantasy School Novel. Most of the teachers are incompetent, all the academic beaurocracies are exactly as frustrating in fantasyland as they are in real life (and we all know how frustrating they are in real life) and the vast majority of the learning goes on outside of the classroom while the students are slacking off or being wildly creative in ways that their instructors Just Don't Get. Stick it to the man, kids! We're also back in hijinks-land here with a slew of hilarious magical mishaps that range from trapping assassins in pits of orange juice to accidentally turning a professor into a barstool. Also, the bonding between Our Group of Unlikely Heroes is just really sweet, in a college BFF sort of way! Basically it's a great read for anyone who's been away at school because you will recognize so many things.
Things To Be Wary Of: There's so much madcap going on that the plot can feel a little disjointed in all the shuffle! And fond as I am of all the characters, I never feel I get to know most of them quite as well as I do in a lot of other DWJ books.
The Magid Books
Title: Deep Secret
Plot: Meet Rupert: computer game programmer by day, youngest Magid in charge of the magical doings of Earth (and several other planets in the same area) by night! Unfortunately, several plot points have just converged on Rupert's head at once. His mentor, the Magid Stan, has just died, leaving Rupert to find a replacement to keep the number of Magids stable; moreover, Stan's still hanging around as a ghost offering suggestions. Meanwhile, the Koryfonic Empire, a seriously unpleasant system that is part of Rupert's jurisdiction, is in the middle of a major crisis - the Emperor has been assassinated, and, since he was super-secretive about his heirs, a disastrous succession war seems imminent. In between hunting for the long-lost heir, Rupert decides to assess Stan's list of possible Magid candidates by bringing them all . . . to a SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION! Cue wackiness, drama and a possible intergalactic war, all set among costumes and panels on elves vs. orcs. Meanwhile, Maree - one of the Magid candidates that Rupert has already written off, due to an extremely bad first impression involving a traffic accident and a witchy dance - is having peculiar dreams, and finds herself the target of some rather malicious magic . . .
Why It's Awesome: You read the bit where it's a sff novel set at an sff convention, yes? At one point, a bleeding centaur trots through the lobby, and everyone stops to congratulate him through his costume! DWJ knows cons, and can write about them beautiful loving mockery, and IT IS THOROUGHLY GLORIOUS. Rupert and Maree are also probably the most awesome DWJ couple since Howl and Sophie. Rupert is a stiff, overconfident prat; Maree is nursing a broken heart and spends much of her time feeling sorry for herself and being deliberately weird to put people off; both of them are SECRET BADASSES and I love them both to a ridiculous degree. The plot is exceedingly manic and involves an awesome use of nursery rhymes and a highly unpleasant goddess, as well as some meta about the nature of writing (Maree's uncle is a sff author), and tucked away in the middle, for Those In the Know, is a beautiful parody of the way Neil Gaiman wakes up in the morning. This is simultaneously DWJ's geekiest book and one of her best; what's not to love?
Things To Be Wary Of: This is another one where the plot is so zooming, manic and multi-faceted that it can be very hard to tell what's going on. On the other hand, in this particular book at least, one can excuse that as meta; that's the way cons go!
Title: The Merlin Conspiracy
Plot: To be honest, I don't remember this one well at all, so I'm going largely off Wikipedia here. ANYWAY. After the events of Deep Secret, Maree's cousin Nick daydreams about becoming a Magid himself. An accident sends him accidentally wandering the dark paths between the worlds, where he bumps into Roddy, a girl who has uncovered a dark plot in her own universe and is on a quest to get the adults around her to believe what she's found. However, when she makes a request for help, all she gets is Nick. LUCKY RODDY.
Why It's Awesome: Nick was a great character in Deep Secret (let me just reiterate: based on Neil Gaiman!) and it's fun to see more of him here! And if I remember correctly the mythology is pretty cool.
Things To Be Wary Of: The book's okay, but Deep Secret is TEN TIMES BETTER. For serious.
Aaaaaand that's all, folks! (I'm not even delving into the short stories; too much even for me.) I am hoping that this will cure me of the urge to babble nonstop about everything DWJ has already written to the unfortunate individuals who have to hang around me, but somehow I suspect that is unlikely . . .
The Castle Books
Title: Howl's Moving Castle
Plot: In the land of Ingary, everyone knows that the youngest of three is inevitably Special. Sophie, unfortunately, is the eldest of three sisters, and has therefore resigned herself to a quiet and responsible life helping her stepmother in the family hat shop and listening to rumors about the terrible Witch of the Waste and Horrible Howl, the wizard who eats hearts. One day, however the Witch sweeps into Sophie's hat shop and casts a spell on her that turns the eighteen-year-old into an eighty-year-old woman, and all of a sudden there doesn't seem any choice but to set out to seek her fortune and a cure. In short order, she finds herself playing the role of crotchety housekeeper at Howl's moving castle while she tries to figure out a way to break the spell on her, break Howl's bargain with a fire demon, and figure out whether he really does keep a box of chewed-up hearts under his bed . . .
Why It's Awesome: This is arguably Diana Wynne Jones' most popular book, and certainly her most well-known due to the Miyazaki film - and there's a reason for it! Sophie and Howl are both incredible characters who go through a ton of development throughout the book, and it's awesome to see. I love independent and angry and difficult ladies, and I love it especially when books portray that independence and strong-mindedness as a good thing, which is why it is incredibly gratifying for me to see Sophie's transformation from a timid and dutiful mouse to a strong-minded, crotchety, unabashedly nosy woman who will not take any guff from anyone. Howl, meanwhile, is a wonderful jumble of charm and slitheriness and cleverness and sweetness and irresponsibility and vanity; I defy you to find another romantic hero who throws green-slime tantrums when his hair dye comes out the wrong color! Basically the whole story is funny and sweet and charming without ever being insipid - the scene where Sophie furiously weed-kills her way down the driveway is classic - with a whole slew of awesome side characters. And how can you not love a book where the dramatic final showdown involves a babbly family reunion and an old lady swatting at evil orange blobs with a broom?
Things To Be Wary Of: Actually this is one of those books that I don't think I've ever known anyone to dislike! (Now watch someone comment here just to prove me wrong, but.) It is classic Diana Wynne Jones, with very little of the lurking uncomfortable darkness that you get in even the most cheery of her other books, and I would recommend it to anyone.
Title: Castle in the Air
Plot: Abdullah is an ordinary, not-too-wealthy carpet merchant who one day finds himself accidentally in possession of a magic carpet. The carpet takes him to the garden of the beautiful and secluded Flower-in-the-Night; Abdullah is, of course, instantly infatuated, and when Flower-in-the-Night is stolen away by a djinn, it's time for some Unlikely Heroics! After escaping from Flower-in-the-Night's angry father and his own angry relatives, Abdullah starts out on a Quest to get her back, accompanied only by his trusty carpet, a cranky and unhelpful genie, an untrustworthy northern soldier, and some very disapproving cats.
Why It's Awesome: This is a sneaky sort of sequel to Howl's Moving Castle, and what I love most about it is that it gives you a completely different view of the characters from that book - several of whom really tick Abdullah off. And rightfully! I love it when authors are willing to have sympathetic characters dislike each other. Extremely polite Abdullah is a fun character in his own right, and, though the plot sounds like it could be awfully damsel-in-distress-y, the kidnapped princesses (Flower-in-the-Night included) actually turn out to be TOTALLY HARDCORE. And Sensible Princess Beatrice gets the most adorable middle-aged romance ever! Plus, how can you not love a book where the day-saving is accomplished through the agency of a squid-loving dog and a three-year-old's tantrum?
Things To Be Wary Of: I really enjoy Castle in the Air, but a lot of people tend to be disappointed coming to it straight after Howl's Moving Castle, because it's really not as strong as a book. Also, the whole book is basically Diana Wynne Jones riffing gently off of a lot of Arabian Nights tropes the way she does Eurofantasy tropes in her other books; it doesn't read as too problematic because I know the kind of story she's parodying, and because Abdullah and Flower-in-the-Night are definitely strong characters in their own right, but it is very possible that it would come off as problematic to people who are not-me and not as blinded by DWJ-love.
Title: House of Many Ways
Plot: Bookworm Charmain has been recruited to house-sit for her Great-Uncle, which would be fine except that a.) she has no idea how to do basic household chores, b.) her Great-Uncle is the Royal Wizard and his house is magical, and c.) an irritating apprentice wizard named Peter has popped up unexpectedly and is bopping around messing up spells and disturbing Charmain's reading time! Also the kingdom is in terrible danger from the creepy-evil magical insects the lubbocks, which is another threat to Charmain's reading time. :(
Why It's Awesome: Charmain is an awesome figure of identification for all bookworms! Who hasn't wanted to put off the laundry and the cleaning and everything else and lock yourself in a room with a book all thesome of the time? Also, much of the plot takes place in or involves a threat to a library, and everyone has their priorities exactly in order on this subject - which is to say, when the library is threatened, everyone parks themselves in front of it and shouts "NOT THE LIBRARY, GO FIGHT SOMEWHERE ELSE!" Meanwhile, the lubbockin are terribly creepy villains. And the cameos from Howl's Moving Castle are glorious - Sophie, Howl et al turn up in HILARIOUS force, although not in the way you expect (let us say that yet again Howl and DWJ indulge their passion for secret identities), the fire demon Calcifer is there being utterly adorable, and there is even an appearance by Jamal the cook from Castle in the Air and his dog!
Things To Be Wary Of: This is a book that's filled with glee for Howl's Moving Castle fans, but I can't necessarily say whether it would be quite as filled with glee for someone who didn't know the backstory or why all these apparently random characters popped up to help save the day. Don't read it before Howl's Moving Castle and Castle in the Air, basically.
The Chrestomanci Books
Title: The Lives of Christopher Chant
Plot: Christopher doesn't realize that traveling to other worlds in his sleep is anything out of the ordinary - or miraculously healing from a number of should-be-fatal accidents, for that matter - but everyone else is convinced that he's a nine-lived enchanter and destined to be an extremely powerful magician. As a result, Christopher gets packed off to train to be the next Chrestomanci (a government position in charge of overseeing the magic of his world) despite the fact that all he really wants to do is play cricket. Add in a smuggling ring, a bored teenage Goddess with a fondness for British girl's boarding school novels, and the fact that Christopher seems to be accidentally killing his lives off like flies, and things are about to get very interesting at Chrestomanci Castle . . .
Why It's Awesome: We get to follow Christopher from when he's quite young into his adolescence, and he's such a real kid! He just wants to hang out with his friends and babble about sports and occasionally have adventures; he's sympathetic, but he's also cranky and sulky and kind of a brat who often doesn't realize how obnoxious he's being until someone points it out. And then he gets character growth! It's awesome! "Millie", the Goddess, is amazing, and fully capable of holding her own against Christopher and more (and how can you not love a girl whose dream is to live out EVERY BOARDING SCHOOL CLICHE there is?) Christopher's friend/mentor Tacroy is also a really interesting character, and the madcap hilarious hijinks are epic, from Near-Death By Cricket Ball To the Head, to the grand finale when all the gardener's boys and secretaries and cooks get to run around being badass and concocting booby traps out of stinky cheese.
Things To Be Wary Of: I love Millie so much that I have a hard time putting on the critical goggles to look at her storyline, but the fact is that Millie's world partakes of a lot of Orientalist cliches, even if many of them are later subverted. Same with Tacroy - I can easily see how his storyline might read as a bit skeevy. Diana Wynne Jones (in my opinion) is very good at writing real characters who don't feel Othered at all, so I don't even notice it until I take a step back, but it's worth mentioning.
Title: Conrad's Fate
Plot: According to Conrad's uncle, Conrad is unfortunately suffering from bad karma and is doomed to die within the year. Naturally, Conrad would quite like to do somethingabout this. This is all tied up with the fact that someone up at Stallery Mansion is playing with the details of the reality of the world, so Conrad gamely goes undercover at Stallery, disguised as a servant-trainee, to figure out what's going on and try to alter his fate. While he's there, he meets a mysterious fellow-trainee (or fellow-snoop) called Christopher, who's there looking for his missing friend Millie . . .
Why It's Awesome: Conrad and Christopher are an amazing odd-couple duo. Conrad is serious and responsible and trying very hard to accomplish his goals; Christopher is confident and breezy and often very charming and incredibly obnoxious. My favorite part of the book may be the bit when it's explained that Christopher wanted Millie to go to a private island with him, and Millie, hilariously and QUITE REASONABLY, is like "if I was trapped on a private island with Christopher I WOULD GO CRAZY." Oh Millie, you are so astoundingly sane! Speaking of, it's also really fun to see this glimpse into Christopher/Chrestomanci and Millie and their relationship in between their meeting in Lives of Christopher Chant and their settled family life in Charmed Life. I was super excited when it came out, and super excited while reading it, and am super excited to reread it one of these days again soon!
Things To Be Wary Of: Not much that I can remember! It's not my favorite of favorite Chrestomanci books, but it's a solid entry in the series and provides a lot of awesome characters and character development.
Title: Charmed Life
Plot: Tragic (and Ambitious) Young Orphan Gwendolen has heaps of natural magical talent. Her younger brother Cat, who's not talented at much of anything, is just happy to trust her talent and let her take care of everything. But when Gwendolen engineers for the two of them to be taken in and trained by their distant relative - who happens to be Chrestomanci - Cat starts to discover that life in Gwendolen's shadow may have its downside. For one thing, Gwendolen seems to have decided that she's at magical war with Chrestomanci, his magically powered children Roger and Julia, and everyone else in the castle. For another, it's starting to look like Gwendolen's plans don't involve taking care of Cat so much as using him. When Gwendolen disappears unexpectedly, leaving in her place a confused lookalike from another world, Cat has to figure out how to take care of someone else for once in his life while he desperately cleans up the dangerous messes that Gwendolen left behind.
Why It's Awesome: I love seeing Cat's slow growth of agency over the course of the book, as he starts to develop a spine and an identity. His lost, insignificant feelings are really identifiable, which makes it very satisfying for me when he finally does start to get a grip on things. This is also a wonderful book in which to meet the cool, elegant adult Christopher/Chrestomanci, who always looks most infuriatingly vague just when he's paying the most attention. (And let's face it, his incredibly fabulous dressing gowns are the real star of the story. I spent a significant part of my childhood in envy of Chrestomanci's dressing gowns.) I also love the Chrestomanci kids, Roger and Julia - powerful, opinionated, slightly bullying, very ordinary-looking, and fun - and the slow growth of understanding between them and Cat. Also, as an interesting note, Diana Wynne Jones has said that Cat is written to fall somewhere on the autistic spectrum, and the book is fascinating as read in that light.
Things To Be Wary Of: A lot of people get very frustrated with Cat's passivity, which is totally understandable, although it doesn't bother me.
Title: The Magicians of Caprona
Plot: The Montana and the Petrocchis are the two most powerful enchanter families in Caprona, and they've been feuding for generations (nobody quite remembers why, but it has something to do with a distant ancestor and a plate of enchanted spaghetti.) Now the magical virtue of Caprona is declining, the city is about to go to war, and nobody's spells have anything like the power they used to; the Duke is a Punch-and-Judy obsessed idiot, the Duchess is creepy as all getout, and they've lost the words to Angel of Caprona, a powerful song-hymn that could help set everything right. When Tonino Montana and Angela Petrocchi - two of the youngest members of each house, and the two whose spells never seem to go right - are kidnapped, the families look more likely to go to war against each other than against Caprona's enemies. That leaves it up to Tonino and Angela (and some of their saner siblings and cousins) to save the day themselves, with a little help from a foreign enchanter called Chrestomanci.
Why It's Awesome: First of all, the whole plot is basically DWJ having WAY TOO MUCH FUN with Romeo and Juliet: the feuding families engage in epic magical food fights and practical jokes, while the star-crossed lovers come up with a thoroughly sensible plan to fool everyone with cunning disguises! Also, most of the book is told through Tonino's eyes, and it's hard not to fall at a little bit in love with the whole melodramatic laughing fighting shouting spellcasting Montoya clan. Tonino loves his family and is proud of them, and even though some of their illusions about their specialness are disabused by the end, there's no denying that they're a fabulous group. Every great-aunt and uncle and cousin has a thoroughly individual personality and place in the community, and I love watching them in action. (Dramatic feuds aside, they're also a kind of amazingly healthy family for a Diana Wynne Jones book!)
Things To Be Wary Of: If creepy puppets and mind-control freak you out, BE WARNED - there is a scene that will give you nightmares. Also, if you're here for the Chrestomanci, there's not all that much of him - but there's a lot of other awesomeness, so don't let that put you off!
Title: Witch Week
Plot: Larwood House is a fairly standard low-rent British boarding school, except for the fact that a significant percentage of the students are witch-orphans - children whose parents or relatives were executed for the crime of witchcraft. When someone sends an anonymous note to the teacher of class 6B (or 2Y, depending on your edition) saying that someone in the class is a witch, half the class thinks it's a tactless joke, but some of the others are starting to point fingers - and a few of them, such as dumpy, nervous Nan Pilgrim and Charles Morgan, master of the double-barreled death glare, are starting to figure out that maybe the note wasn't exactly a lie. Of course, the trick is to figure out how to use their powers without getting caught and burned at the stake . . .
Why It's Awesome: This is definitely my favorite of the Chrestomanci books, maybe because it's a bit darker than most of the others - or maybe it's just that I adore all the characters! Larwood House is full of extremely messed-up kids and I love every single one of them beyond words, from Nan with her uncontrollabe outbursts of creative monologue, to Nirupam Singh with his mournful face and his deadpan humor, to bouncy chatterbox Estelle who's not nearly as vapid as she looks. I also love how DWJ doesn't fall into the trap of making the unpopular kids automatically likeable; trauma and suspicion has affected them in a lot of ways, and several of them have a lot of growing up to do before they can be considered decent human beings again. That being said, they all are sympathetic in their own ways - and it's a very ensemble book, which you all know I adore. They all start out despising each other, and learn about teamwork! Chrestomanci is fabulous too (and makes an entrance in another glorious dressing gown!) and helps to sort things out with his usual flair, and there is, as always, a significant amount of truly hilarious comedy. The scene where Charles and Nirupam are trying to escape the school on an aging mop and a garden hoe? Sheer beauty.
Things To Be Wary Of: This is another one that I would recommend pretty much unreservedly - but don't go into it expecting a jovial early Harry Potter atmosphere. This isn't a nice boarding school book.
Title: The Pinhoe Egg
Plot: There's something dodgy going on with Marianne's family - well, aside from the fact that they use magic that they keep secret from the government, specifically from Chrestomanci, who happens to live practically next door. That, however, is your standard everyday dodgy for the Pinhoes. Now, however, the Pinhoes seem to be getting into a feud with a local family, something weird is going on with Marianne's grandmother and uncles, and, somewhat to her surprise, she finds herself teaming up secretly with Cat Chant to hatch a mysterious egg.
Why It's Awesome: All of the characters who were awesome in Charmed Life are back again in force, being awesome! And all the magic is mixed-in with the kind of mundanity DWJ does very well, like Janet and Julia's horse-craziness and Roger and Joe's business scheme. And it's very cool to see Cat growing as a character.
Things To Be Wary Of: This doesn't have quite the spark of the other Chrestomanci books, and I found the ending sort of unsatisfying, although that may be idiosyncratic of me.
The Dalemark Quartet
Title: Cart and Cwidder
Plot: Moril and his family are traveling Singers, one of the few groups that is able to travel between Dalemark's tightly-restricted South and the more liberal North. Moril's biggest irritation on this particular trip through the South is their annoyingly haughty passenger, Kialan - until his father, Clennen the Singer, is suddenly killed by soldiers of the Earl of the South Dales, without warning or explanation, and it turns out that no part of Moril's life was exactly as it seemed. Moril, his brother and sister Brid and Dagner, and Kialan (who has secrets of his own) have to somehow complete their father's mission and make their way to the relative safety of the North. And on top of all that, there seems to be something strange and magical about Moril's cwidder . . .
Why It's Awesome: Okay, first of all, it bears mentioning that I love the Dalemark Quartet LIKE BURNING. It is significantly less in the vein of madcap comedy than most of Diana Wynne Jones' other books, and although this first book is the most straightforward and simple of them all, the themes of politics and warfare and intrigue and class and revolution are woven into the background even here. Moving to specifics, I love this particular book for the story of these kids struggling valiantly to take on adult roles that are well beyond their capacities - and failing, a good portion of the time, but trying, anyways, even as they cope with grief and shock and the knowledge that their world is never going to be the same. HUGS FOR EVERYONE. I also love the quiet creepy complexity of the relationship between Moril's parents, and how neither of them is quite the bad guy there, and how much is said in silences.
Things To Be Wary Of: The North/South thing looks a lot like a straightforward dichotomy in this book. It's not, but that only gets revealed later on. Also, it bears mentioning once more that the Dalemark Quartet is not in the typical vein of Diana Wynne Jones comedy, and I remember being pretty disappointed when I read it the first time when I was ten and hoping for a laugh.
Title: Drowned Ammett
Plot: Rising rents and a worsening economy force Mitt's family out of a semi-idyllic country life into poverty in the city - where Mitt's father joins a revolutionary force and then dies in an ill-advised raid. Mitt grows into a teenager who's hard, bitter and angry, thinking mostly of ways to SIMULTANEOUSLY take revenge on the revolutionary group that he believes betrayed his father, and to strike a blow against the tyrant Earl of Holand who actually killed his father. (Mitt dreams big.) He and his mother Milda have worked up a plan that can't fail - but, of course, when the plan finally goes into action, everything does go wrong, and Mitt somehow finds himself fleeing the city on a boat with Hildy and Ynen, the grandchildren of the Earl that he just tried to murder.
Why It's Awesome: Here is where the politics of the series really kicks into gear, DWJ ruthlessly portrays both the terrible conditions of Holand, and the hopeless ineffectiveness of the revolutionary groups that try and fight back. Mitt himself is an amazing character who undergoes tremendous amounts of development over the book, as he has to realize some extremely unpleasant truths about himself and work to change them. (I am a total sucker for serious character development.) Hildy and Ynen are great too - Hildy is cranky and authoritarian and fiercely protective of her brother, Ynen is the biggest sweetheart ever to come out of a noble family - and I really love watching the growing understanding between them and Mitt, although the class gulf that divides them is always there and relevant and never ignored.
Things To Watch Out For: Okay, I am the first to admit that the ending makes very little sense until you read the rest of the series ("and then he says a word and a tree grows out of some dude's leg!" "WHAT?" ". . . just go with it"!) but, uh, I do not care. But you may!
Title: The Spellcoats
Plot: Tanaqui and her siblings are different from the surrounding villagers - they they keep different customs and worship different gods, and no one quite trusts them, not even the aunt and uncle who are supposed to be watching over them while their father is at war. Most telling of all, they look rather uncomfortably like the Heathen invaders that their father is supposed to be fighting against. When prejudices rise high, the siblings have to flee down the river with their sick brother, and find themselves caught up in the schemes of their own King and the King of the Heathen, the attack of the evil sorcerer Kankredin, and the forces of the Undying, mysterious mage-gods who are somehow tied to Tanaqui's own family.
Why It's Awesome: This book is a lot more dreamlike and mythological than the other books in the Quartet, but that doesn't mean that the characters aren't incredibly real and distinct or that the relationship between the siblings is any less believable. Also, the method of storytelling is really inventive - the narrative is actually on a coat that Tanaqui is weaving as part of a spell. And I love the way that every piece of magic and every bargain made comes with great effort and has a natural price.
Things To Be Wary Of: I find this book a little more confusing than most of the others (and yet I'm not confused by Hexwood, I know, I know, I'm weird!) and it's pretty slow for the first half before picking up in the second. But I know some people for whom it's their favorite of all the Dalemark books, so YMMV!
Title: The Crown of Dalemark
Plot: Mitt has been given shelter in the North - but he's just found out that that shelter comes at a price, as the Duchess who's been harboring him has now commanded him to assassinate Noreth Onesdaughter, a claimant to the long-abandoned throne. Meanwhile, Maewen, a girl from a future Dalemark that somewhat resembles our own world, finds herself abruptly sent back in time to take Noreth's place and ride the green roads of Dalemark to find the magical tokens that will prove her right to the throne. Being from the future, Maewen knows enough of her history to be clear on who's supposed to become King - it's some fellow called Amil the Great - and so she's confident that she just has to hang in long enough for him to turn up. Until then, though, she's stuck on a quest for the tokens with a motley crew that includes Moril and the glum Singer who's training him, Hildy and Ynen's Machiavellian father Navis, and Mitt, who still has to decide whether or not he's going to kill her.
Why It's Awesome: This is the book where everything in the previous books comes together with a vengeance, and it's AMAZING. The myths about the free and noble and idealistic North are shattered, and the politically complex games that everyone's playing are revealed. They're making a new nation here, with all the messiness that that entails. Character-wise, Mitt and Moril and Navis all come into their own, while Maewen struggles admirably with culture clash and brings the force of her considerable practicality to bear on the problems at hand, and you get a chance to see a lot of the characters from earlier books from a lot of different angles. Basically, no one is simple, EVERYONE IS AWESOME, and I love the whole thing to ridiculous pieces. And the glossary at the back is one of those that's full of fascinating and occasionally casually heartbreaking tidbits, and gives even more of a sense of a full and complicated and incredible world.
Things To Be Wary Of: Prooobably better not to read this one without having read the others! Also, my one complaint: Hildy totally gets the short end of the stick. :(
The Derkholm Books
Title: Dark Lord of Derkholm
Plot: Mr. Chesney has found an alternate fantasy world, and he's hit on a great idea - run tours! Unfortunately, this makes life rather difficult for everyone who actually lives in the world, which is now expected to produce a certain supply of thematically appropriate wars, witches, monsters, and attacks so that the tourists can get their money's worth. It's ruining the economy and a number of the magical creatures' lifestyles, but everyone is too frightened of Mr. Chesney (and the demon he has backing him) to rebel. However, an Oracle has suggested that there is a way out from under Mr. Chesney's thumb - make hapless wizard Derk this year's official Dark Lord, and his son, Blade, one of the wizard tour guides. The reluctant Derk, whose hobby is creating magical creatures, sets out to turn his home into a suitable Dark Fortress with the help of his other children, Shona (the human daughter) and Kit, Callette, Don, Lydda, and Elda (the griffins magically engineered with Derk and his wife's DNA.) Disasters escalate, the family is strained almost to the breaking point, and Mr. Chesney is going to be very unhappy if the tours don't deliver as promised . . .
Why It's Awesome: Half of the appeal of this book is watching every fantasy cliche you can think of get turned around and upside down and relentlessly mocked from every angle; the other half is the family dynamic between Derk and his wife and his children, especially all the highly individual griffins! The characters and their relationships are what make the book a lot more than a parody (although it is a glorious parody too, make no mistake). It's wonderful watching them come together, and it's great to see them all come into their own, too, as they figure out how to overcome each new problem that gets thrown at them.
Things To Be Wary Of: Some of the more disturbing aspects of the fantasy land's exploitation and its horrific results are occasionally glossed over a little too much as the plot zooms along. There's also a scene involving actual or attempted sexual assault (it's a little unclear how much happens) that could be triggery, and which does not go as deeply into the implications as it should.
Title: The Year of the Griffin
Plot: Elda, Derk's youngest griffin daughter, is going to wizard school to learn magic! She is SUPER EXCITED. However, the school doesn't quite live up to her dreams, as they're still struggling to make up for their funding issues from decades of Mr. Chesney's exploitation and a lot of magical theory and experimentation has been dropped by the wayside to churn out as many experts in the basics as possible. Elda and her friends in the new class aren't content with learning the basics - they want to go crazy and have fun with magic! However, the rest of the students have problems of their own, ranging from jinxes to pirates to assassins, so between that and the incompetence of the teachers they're likely to have an interesting year . . .
Why It's Awesome: If Dark Lord of Derkholm was the big epic fantasy novel joyously ripped to shreds, Year of the Griffin happily does the same thing for the Fantasy School Novel. Most of the teachers are incompetent, all the academic beaurocracies are exactly as frustrating in fantasyland as they are in real life (and we all know how frustrating they are in real life) and the vast majority of the learning goes on outside of the classroom while the students are slacking off or being wildly creative in ways that their instructors Just Don't Get. Stick it to the man, kids! We're also back in hijinks-land here with a slew of hilarious magical mishaps that range from trapping assassins in pits of orange juice to accidentally turning a professor into a barstool. Also, the bonding between Our Group of Unlikely Heroes is just really sweet, in a college BFF sort of way! Basically it's a great read for anyone who's been away at school because you will recognize so many things.
Things To Be Wary Of: There's so much madcap going on that the plot can feel a little disjointed in all the shuffle! And fond as I am of all the characters, I never feel I get to know most of them quite as well as I do in a lot of other DWJ books.
The Magid Books
Title: Deep Secret
Plot: Meet Rupert: computer game programmer by day, youngest Magid in charge of the magical doings of Earth (and several other planets in the same area) by night! Unfortunately, several plot points have just converged on Rupert's head at once. His mentor, the Magid Stan, has just died, leaving Rupert to find a replacement to keep the number of Magids stable; moreover, Stan's still hanging around as a ghost offering suggestions. Meanwhile, the Koryfonic Empire, a seriously unpleasant system that is part of Rupert's jurisdiction, is in the middle of a major crisis - the Emperor has been assassinated, and, since he was super-secretive about his heirs, a disastrous succession war seems imminent. In between hunting for the long-lost heir, Rupert decides to assess Stan's list of possible Magid candidates by bringing them all . . . to a SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION! Cue wackiness, drama and a possible intergalactic war, all set among costumes and panels on elves vs. orcs. Meanwhile, Maree - one of the Magid candidates that Rupert has already written off, due to an extremely bad first impression involving a traffic accident and a witchy dance - is having peculiar dreams, and finds herself the target of some rather malicious magic . . .
Why It's Awesome: You read the bit where it's a sff novel set at an sff convention, yes? At one point, a bleeding centaur trots through the lobby, and everyone stops to congratulate him through his costume! DWJ knows cons, and can write about them beautiful loving mockery, and IT IS THOROUGHLY GLORIOUS. Rupert and Maree are also probably the most awesome DWJ couple since Howl and Sophie. Rupert is a stiff, overconfident prat; Maree is nursing a broken heart and spends much of her time feeling sorry for herself and being deliberately weird to put people off; both of them are SECRET BADASSES and I love them both to a ridiculous degree. The plot is exceedingly manic and involves an awesome use of nursery rhymes and a highly unpleasant goddess, as well as some meta about the nature of writing (Maree's uncle is a sff author), and tucked away in the middle, for Those In the Know, is a beautiful parody of the way Neil Gaiman wakes up in the morning. This is simultaneously DWJ's geekiest book and one of her best; what's not to love?
Things To Be Wary Of: This is another one where the plot is so zooming, manic and multi-faceted that it can be very hard to tell what's going on. On the other hand, in this particular book at least, one can excuse that as meta; that's the way cons go!
Title: The Merlin Conspiracy
Plot: To be honest, I don't remember this one well at all, so I'm going largely off Wikipedia here. ANYWAY. After the events of Deep Secret, Maree's cousin Nick daydreams about becoming a Magid himself. An accident sends him accidentally wandering the dark paths between the worlds, where he bumps into Roddy, a girl who has uncovered a dark plot in her own universe and is on a quest to get the adults around her to believe what she's found. However, when she makes a request for help, all she gets is Nick. LUCKY RODDY.
Why It's Awesome: Nick was a great character in Deep Secret (let me just reiterate: based on Neil Gaiman!) and it's fun to see more of him here! And if I remember correctly the mythology is pretty cool.
Things To Be Wary Of: The book's okay, but Deep Secret is TEN TIMES BETTER. For serious.
Aaaaaand that's all, folks! (I'm not even delving into the short stories; too much even for me.) I am hoping that this will cure me of the urge to babble nonstop about everything DWJ has already written to the unfortunate individuals who have to hang around me, but somehow I suspect that is unlikely . . .