Gender Roles in Clothing/Accessories

[failstoexist]

OK, so I was reading this post and it got me thinking. For those who don't want to click the link, it's a woman whose 2 year old broke his arm and pointed to pink as the color he wanted for his cast. the woman said no because "that would've gone over real good with daddy!" and he got his second choice, neon green

Comments

[g0ldenr0ad]

I basically agree with everything you said.

People who do things like that (the woman with the son with the broken arm) piss me the fuck off.

[failstoexist]

I could barely stop myself from writing a REALLY angry comment to her. so I decided to post here instead...at least people who post here are looking for a debate. ;)

[g0ldenr0ad]

Seriously, I want to write a nasty comment to her SO badly! ;)

[failstoexist]

I am still twitching a bit. grrrrrrrr.

[bajingo]

would you restrict your kid's choice of cast color or anything else like that because of their gender?

Nope. I have a 3 year old daughter with a Spider-Man bedroom.. I don't really believe in things being only for one gender or the other.

Would the reaction of your husband/partner or your family be a deciding factor in that, regardless of your own feeling?

Nope. I think that's really up to the kid, not the parents. Screw the parents. If someone is so opposed, they really should look deep inside themselves to figure out why.

Does the kid's age matter? How about gender--would you be more likely to restrict the choices of a boy or a girl?

No age doesn't matter. While I wouldn't buy a son a brand new princess dress every time he got the thought into his head (just like I don't for my 5 year old daughter.. one is really enough!), hey, as long as he's doing it at home, I don't care. I would only worry in public, because people can go from mean to violent on a whim and that scares me.

Does it matter where the kid is going? camp

[failstoexist]

what if the kid were a little older and insisted on it in public too? is there a level you would consider, such as pink shirts OK but not a dress? also i guess i should ask where you live...since i'm near NYC and I can't imagine anything that terrible happening, but I know in other areas there is a real danger...and while i myself couldn't stand living like that, I'm sure for some people it's not generally a problem.

[bajingo]

Well, we live in Jersey, but I grew up in Northern Nevada, which is not very tolerant of stuff like that. If they're older (teens) they can wear what they want, my only rule is no piercings other than ears & nose until 18. I'd hope I could get them to understand that I'm just trying to protect them from the scorn and or abuse of others.. I don't know how well that would work, but I'd try.

[g0ldenr0ad]

I always thought boys didn't wear dresses because they have dangling things and it would be really awkward to have to wear a dress while having to deal with a boner or something.

[abattoir_blue]

I wouldn't restrict, although like you I would inwardly wince at anything too princessy or jockish on general principle. I have more of a problem with princess stuff because princesses are special just for existing and being pretty whereas at least jocks DO something like sports to make them special. I would be sorely tempted to ban princess stuff for a child of either gender but instead of being such a hardass I'd take the approach of trying to get the child to see how boring and useless most princess characters are.

I have chosen a spouse who isn't into strictly enforcing gender roles and anyone else doesn't get a vote in what my kid does. If my son wanted to wear a pink cast I would let him and if kids at school or camp said anything to him about it then we'd have to have a talk about how some people think certain colors are for boys and others for girls, but that those people don't know what they are talking about and should be ignored whenever possible.

[rockstargrrrlie]

No- I don't plan on restricting my kid's choice of cast color. Blue is an increasingly popular color for girl's clothing, and I wish that the pink stigma for boys would disappear. I would hope that my husband wouldn't be such a douche that he would care about the color of a temporary item like a cast, but I'm sure he'd get over it

[failstoexist]

i think that's a really good point about the appropriateness of a dress in general, etc. I feel the same way. my kids need to wear nice clothes to nice occasions...whether that's a dress or a pair of khakis and a polo shirt, I don't care. but I do care that it's appropriate. So I guess I totally agree with you.

I guess I just hope I don't have kids who are too much a charicature either way...I wear pretty plain stuff, tshirts, jeans, etc. I don't think I'd bring a kid to a store where I knew there was going to be such insanely gendered clothing...just to keep them from chosing something too nuts. I also would hate to bring them somewhere that had very separate girls and boys sections, because I wouldn't want them to feel restricted.

[merlyn4401]

I wouldn't care on one level (ie I don't think pink is sissy or whatever), but I have to admit I would not be looking forward to 6 weeks worth of comments from strangers on my boy wearing a pink cast, because you *know* that's what would happen. I'd probably gently discourage him just so *I* wouldn't have to hear it. :p My oldest son's fav color is purple, and he already gets some fallout from *that*. It's ridiculous.

[failstoexist]

would it make a difference if the kid was older and KNEW that people might say something? for example, I think 5 or 6 is old enough to understand that "people might think it's funny...is that OK with you?" or "people might ask you questions about it, would that bother you?" and then let the kid decide.

or is it totally about your discomfort with the comments other people make? I guess that matters more with a younger kid who isn't going to defend his own choice. but I don't know, you tell me!

[merlyn4401]

I wouldn't care as much if it were an older kid who could explain/defend himself, you know? But I just know *my* 3 y/o, and he is sensitive to begin with, so I don't know how that many weeks of "Gosh, don't you think pink is a girl's color??" he'd put up with. :p

[failstoexist]

haha alright. :-p to you too! it makes sense, though. 3 year olds are generally more aware of what people think of what they're doing than 2 year olds, at least from what I've seen.