The Dictators being certain people in my former school's department...I just found out that I was supposed to have been suspended over the whole website ordeal. Can you just imagine that letter? "Dear Tulane, we have to inform you that disciplinary action has been taken for Ms. Shaffer, because she told the truth about what a shithole our school ( Read more... )

I got a puppy! Or, more precisely, *we* got a puppy. It's a little black-headed Jack Russell named Zoe, and it is so cute! It makes me want to make bizarre baby-noises and cuddle it like a little dead baby harbor seal. We just got her yesterday, up in some po-dunk axe-murder-movie location in the mountains. Two birds with one stone - we also ( Read more... )

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I got a haircut - it's awful. Just awful. It's like a grown-out mullet with shitty layers. It makes my head look like a jellybean on a stick. I'd cut it all off, except short hair makes me look like a chipmunk. Fat-ass or trailer trash...which should I choose?

So yeah...I'm back at home for good! No more Taliban, I mean Klepto, I mean Hellhole, I mean Salem...ever! No more getting my ass wiped by a pilgrim, no more people telling me I can't laugh at dead baby harbor seals. I went on a regular rule-breaking spree the last few days - then my friends and I went through the student handbook and ( Read more... )

It's been a while since my last update, but I have a very good reason ( Read more... )

This is creepy.

So it's final. I'm going to Tulane. I thought about Cornell briefly, but they hardly gave me any aid, and I just can't afford forty thousand a year. Tulane, on the other hand, was much more generous. It would be nice if I got to go wherever, but this is the real world after all.

My bras are warped. Now I have ripply boobies.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScorePurgatory (Repenting Believers)Very LowLevel 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very LowLevel 2 (Lustful)HighLevel 3 (Gluttonous)HighLevel 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)HighLevel 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very HighLevel 6 - The ( Read more... )

It's been a while since my last update, but I promise I'm not dead. I'm just in a semi-conscious coma, drooling on myself and dreaming of dead baby harbor seals ( Read more... )