He almost certainly wasn't a virgin, but part of me wonders at the casting choice.
I can't think of an in-character reason for choosing him specifically, unless the bug really wanted to talk about herself in class. But the casting choice might be for that same 4th wall reason and what you mention about kindly adult men. The age helps with the father figure image. Especially with the tough/looks-like-he'll-lay-into-you-but-he-truly-cares element they gave him, which is probably what Buffy hopes is going on with Hank.
Re: age, I don't think it's that much of a Western bias, since younger woman/older man is still acceptable. There can be some scorn for a twenty+ plus difference, but even then, I don't think we've completely internalized the idea of wrongness in a power imbalance. Though the degree of internalization differs.
I'm never sure how much the age differences should bother me. But yes, there's always something weird when I think about a young inexperienced woman with a much more knowledgeable man, even when I ship them.
The Prom makes that explicit again: Buffy asserts that she will kill everything on the planet in order for her friends and Sunnydale High to have a normal, special Prom;
That is probably one of my favorite moments in S3, and maybe the entire series. She is just so damned and determined that to make sure everyone else will have a prom even if she can't. that's one of those moments I want to point to when people say she's "self-absorbed" or "lacks compassion", etc.
I think for me it's mostly just the idea that the older person was probably having sex in college before the other was even born.I'm not sure I should cut in here, but my partner was freaked out for the longest time that she graduated high school the same year as I was born. Of course the only media images of much older/younger lesbians pairings are pre-1980's where it was depicted as a depraved lesbian preying on an innocent girl, so the baggage there is huge
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I dunno, I find it kind of creepy, but... I suppose it's easy to pass opinions as an outsider.
That's not tons of sexual experience...What mitigates that with Spike, in part, is the fact that Buffy's appearance changed in S5 to make her appear more womanly, elegant
Well, not tons. But she's at least had experience period, and she seems to have confidence in that arena. With Angel it's not only that he's so much older (and LOOKS so much older, as you point out), it's that he's her first and it's...just uncomfortable for me, I guess. I think the fact that she looks older in s5+ really helps make the Spuffy not creep-worthy (in that context, at least), but I think it's also that we see her as a confident, sexual being at that point, given how much screentime was devoted to Buffy/Riley sexcapades. It doesn't necessarily make Buffy/Spike equal, but they kind of feel equal, whereas Angel felt too dominate and Riley just felt beneath her. That's just how I feel though.
It doesn't necessarily make Buffy/Spike equal, but they kind of feel equal, whereas Angel felt too dominate and Riley just felt beneath her. That's just how I feel though.
The Prom is maybe like Mother's Day. Buffy does the dirty work they can't or don't want to deal with, and her role is to keep the problems away so they don't have to deal with them.That is a superb metaphor - and it works beautifully if you see Buffy as ultimately The Mother to the Slayers (with Faith) as well as Dawn's surrogate mother. (Everyone calls Tara that but I see Tara as more the favorite aunt-figure. the mother's day metaphor is actually relevant here: the fact that Buffy does actually serve the role of Dawn's surrogate mother, the work she does and burden she carries, is somewhat overlooked, I think, or minimized
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I can't think of an in-character reason for choosing him specifically, unless the bug really wanted to talk about herself in class. But the casting choice might be for that same 4th wall reason and what you mention about kindly adult men. The age helps with the father figure image. Especially with the tough/looks-like-he'll-lay-into-you-but-he-truly-cares element they gave him, which is probably what Buffy hopes is going on with Hank.
Re: age, I don't think it's that much of a Western bias, since younger woman/older man is still acceptable. There can be some scorn for a twenty+ plus difference, but even then, I don't think we've completely internalized the idea of wrongness in a power imbalance. Though the degree of internalization differs.
I'm never sure how much the age differences should bother me. But yes, there's always something weird when I think about a young inexperienced woman with a much more knowledgeable man, even when I ship them.
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That is probably one of my favorite moments in S3, and maybe the entire series. She is just so damned and determined that to make sure everyone else will have a prom even if she can't. that's one of those moments I want to point to when people say she's "self-absorbed" or "lacks compassion", etc.
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I dunno, I find it kind of creepy, but... I suppose it's easy to pass opinions as an outsider.
That's not tons of sexual experience...What mitigates that with Spike, in part, is the fact that Buffy's appearance changed in S5 to make her appear more womanly, elegant
Well, not tons. But she's at least had experience period, and she seems to have confidence in that arena. With Angel it's not only that he's so much older (and LOOKS so much older, as you point out), it's that he's her first and it's...just uncomfortable for me, I guess. I think the fact that she looks older in s5+ really helps make the Spuffy not creep-worthy (in that context, at least), but I think it's also that we see her as a confident, sexual being at that point, given how much screentime was devoted to Buffy/Riley sexcapades.
It doesn't necessarily make Buffy/Spike equal, but they kind of feel equal, whereas Angel felt too dominate and Riley just felt beneath her. That's just how I feel though.
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Good points all.
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