Not good enough

Feb 03, 2012 10:12

Title: Not good enough. 
Category: Established relationship, angst
Warning: slight references to suicide.
Pairing: Tony/Tim
Spoiler: None
Words count: 360
Summary: So here I am and all I can think about is you.
Disclaimer:I own nothing. NCIS is not mine.
A/N:Not beta


So here I am and all I can think about is you.

I know it’s hard to believe, I know you won’t believe me. But I do think about you and how much I wish you would be here.

I miss you and I’m sorry how things ended between us.  But it is better this way, it is better that you’re there and I’m here and that now you have time to forget about me and all we lived together.

I’m really sorry, but it’s better this way. This way when I’m finally gone you won’t have to cry for me, you won’t have to suffer because I’m gone. And when I’m gone you’ll be finally free.

See, this is the reason why I refused to be with you at first. I knew I wasn’t good enough, strong enough. I knew I would give up sooner or later. I knew it would get worst and I wouldn’t be strong enough to escape from it.

I’m sorry.

She said the same to me. I’m sorry. And I hope you won’t hate me after I do this, I hope you don’t hate me the same way I hated her after she did it.

I hate her for being so weak, so easy to defeat, so pathetic. She should have stopped it, she should have been stronger, but she gave up. She ran away from all.

And now I know how it feels; how weak and pathetic it made her feel. Now I know why she did it.

She did it because she was tired, she was alone. And that’s why I hate her. I was there, I loved her and I wanted to make her happy but she ran away and let it go. She ended it. She didn’t care what I had to say or how I would feel. She just left me alone.

I’m sorry Tim. I’m sorry and I hope you don’t hate me.

This is too much. I just can’t do it anymore.

It is better this way, it is better if I’m gone. This way you won’t have to suffer anymore.

I’m sorry and I love you.

fandom:ncis, chac:mcgee, fic:no good enough, pairing:dinozzo/mcgee, genre:slash, chac:dinozzo, genre:angst, genre:established relationship

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