Wondering where I am lost without you
Title: Faithfully
Rating: R
Character/Pairing: Alex - Alex/Boone
Word Count: 630
Summary: Her perfect father and their perfect friends would never approve, but each one those things is more foreign to her than the previous one and she’s surprised it’s taken her so long to understand that.
Written for new_otherton prompt's Divided
These violent delights have violent ends.
She kisses Boone because she can, but also because she can’t not. It only takes a second for him to react to her kiss and then he, too is kissing her. His hands are on her back, pressing her against him, her fingers going into his hair. She can’t not want him.
She knows it’s so wrong, she knows it cannot end well. Boone is not part of the perfect island life that Ben’s created around her. He’s not part of her perfect bedroom, perfect house. Her perfect father and their perfect friends would never approve, but each one those things is more foreign to her than the previous one and she’s surprised it’s taken her so long to understand that.
This will not end well.
None of it is as real, as honest as her mind and her body are with Boone, in the jungle. Kissing this boy she hardly knows, but who she has bonded so strongly with that it frightens her. She’s past the point of no return, and it isn’t because she knows that they won’t just kiss today. It’s because she loves him and she’s going to start fighting everything for it, as opposed to fighting the overwhelming yet undeniable it. She hears it in her mind over and over again as they kiss, his embrace strong and determined, his hands under her shirt, touching the skin on her lower back. You love him, you love him, you love him.
She gasps as he breaks the kiss, holding her head with his hand he kisses her neck, lips moving up and slowly towards her ear where he kisses the spot just under her lobe. Her toes curl inside her shoes. She opens her eyes and she sees the jungle past him. Her eyes fill with tears for a moment.
This island is not her home.
It hasn’t been for a very long time but it takes him for her to realize it. She can’t be a part of them anymore. Something between them has been so broken for such a long time that it’s now impossible to repair. She’s not a baby anymore, she’s not blind, she’s not stupid. She knows of so many wrongs that she can’t bear, that she can’t tolerate and she knows, each one of them causes a bigger tear in whatever bond they ever had. It makes it impossible for her to feel any loyalty, any respect. For all of them as a group, for her father as their leader. In her heart she knows what she and Boone are doing behind everyone’s back in the thick and dark of the jungle would break them too. It would break their bond with her like hers with them has been broken for a long time. But she can’t, won’t help herself.
Hers has been broken for a long time and no one’s done anything to fix it.
She’s not one of them anymore. Karl loves her, Ben, Juliet and Ethan love her. But she’s not one of them anymore. Something too big has come in between them but she doesn’t see it until she becomes so unequivocally bonded with Boone that their bond brings realization. And she realizes she’s known it long before she’s his, gasping, crying, pulling at his hair and inevitably feeling the kind of release that is fulfilling and rewarding. He kisses away the tears down her cheek, the feel of his lips on her skin warmer than her skin. I do love you, she whispers.
His whispering I love you too, ends all arguments.
The next day, she takes Claire out of the station because it helps her break free of them as much as it helps Claire and her baby.
Rating: R
Character/Pairing: Alex - Alex/Boone
Word Count: 630
Summary: Her perfect father and their perfect friends would never approve, but each one those things is more foreign to her than the previous one and she’s surprised it’s taken her so long to understand that.
Written for new_otherton prompt's Divided
These violent delights have violent ends.
She kisses Boone because she can, but also because she can’t not. It only takes a second for him to react to her kiss and then he, too is kissing her. His hands are on her back, pressing her against him, her fingers going into his hair. She can’t not want him.
She knows it’s so wrong, she knows it cannot end well. Boone is not part of the perfect island life that Ben’s created around her. He’s not part of her perfect bedroom, perfect house. Her perfect father and their perfect friends would never approve, but each one those things is more foreign to her than the previous one and she’s surprised it’s taken her so long to understand that.
This will not end well.
None of it is as real, as honest as her mind and her body are with Boone, in the jungle. Kissing this boy she hardly knows, but who she has bonded so strongly with that it frightens her. She’s past the point of no return, and it isn’t because she knows that they won’t just kiss today. It’s because she loves him and she’s going to start fighting everything for it, as opposed to fighting the overwhelming yet undeniable it. She hears it in her mind over and over again as they kiss, his embrace strong and determined, his hands under her shirt, touching the skin on her lower back. You love him, you love him, you love him.
She gasps as he breaks the kiss, holding her head with his hand he kisses her neck, lips moving up and slowly towards her ear where he kisses the spot just under her lobe. Her toes curl inside her shoes. She opens her eyes and she sees the jungle past him. Her eyes fill with tears for a moment.
This island is not her home.
It hasn’t been for a very long time but it takes him for her to realize it. She can’t be a part of them anymore. Something between them has been so broken for such a long time that it’s now impossible to repair. She’s not a baby anymore, she’s not blind, she’s not stupid. She knows of so many wrongs that she can’t bear, that she can’t tolerate and she knows, each one of them causes a bigger tear in whatever bond they ever had. It makes it impossible for her to feel any loyalty, any respect. For all of them as a group, for her father as their leader. In her heart she knows what she and Boone are doing behind everyone’s back in the thick and dark of the jungle would break them too. It would break their bond with her like hers with them has been broken for a long time. But she can’t, won’t help herself.
Hers has been broken for a long time and no one’s done anything to fix it.
She’s not one of them anymore. Karl loves her, Ben, Juliet and Ethan love her. But she’s not one of them anymore. Something too big has come in between them but she doesn’t see it until she becomes so unequivocally bonded with Boone that their bond brings realization. And she realizes she’s known it long before she’s his, gasping, crying, pulling at his hair and inevitably feeling the kind of release that is fulfilling and rewarding. He kisses away the tears down her cheek, the feel of his lips on her skin warmer than her skin. I do love you, she whispers.
His whispering I love you too, ends all arguments.
The next day, she takes Claire out of the station because it helps her break free of them as much as it helps Claire and her baby.