God bless Dianne, and you, and your life together. Yesterday I asked for community prayer for y'all, at the church I'm part of. And of course you are always part of mine.
Did the question The Sunflower ended with actually use the word "should"? Without explaining what that means? If so, I suppose the author posits some sort of universal system of ethics or duties. A lot of people do that-- somehow, it's always their own. Of course, there are a lot of more careful specified and instrumental versions of "should." "You should attempt to forgive him if you are to continue in any healthy relationship with him," for instance, which is clearly inapplicable here. Or "You should attempt to forgive him so you can go forth in life free"-- which is sometimes relevant, but runs a tremendous risk of being pat and condescending
( ... )
I greatly admire your care for Dianne. I'm grateful to hear there is some ease for her, and therefore you. It is quite a path for you both.
On spirituality and forgiveness, you bring up some interesting points. I am especially intrigued by these words of yours: "I remember that in over five years in Al-Anon, i met almost no one who hung around very long who was not prepared for the program by a middle class background or a good education, or a spiritual tradition, or extraordinary insight."
My understanding of 12-step programs is that we call on a "higher power". It seems we might need help to believe in that.
On forgiveness, I suppose it is for each of us to forgive others, and ourselves. I continue to see how all of this begins with me. Can I move out from judgment of myself? Can I forgive myself?
I'm working on it. :-)
Some days I do okay, and other days not so much, and I'm still very much in the game of desiring this change.
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I hear you the spirituality writing and very much agree.
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Did the question The Sunflower ended with actually use the word "should"? Without explaining what that means? If so, I suppose the author posits some sort of universal system of ethics or duties. A lot of people do that-- somehow, it's always their own. Of course, there are a lot of more careful specified and instrumental versions of "should." "You should attempt to forgive him if you are to continue in any healthy relationship with him," for instance, which is clearly inapplicable here. Or "You should attempt to forgive him so you can go forth in life free"-- which is sometimes relevant, but runs a tremendous risk of being pat and condescending ( ... )
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On spirituality and forgiveness, you bring up some interesting points. I am especially intrigued by these words of yours: "I remember that in over five years in Al-Anon, i met almost no one who hung around very long who was not prepared for the program by a middle class background or a good education, or a spiritual tradition, or extraordinary insight."
My understanding of 12-step programs is that we call on a "higher power". It seems we might need help to believe in that.
On forgiveness, I suppose it is for each of us to forgive others, and ourselves. I continue to see how all of this begins with me. Can I move out from judgment of myself? Can I forgive myself?
I'm working on it. :-)
Some days I do okay, and other days not so much, and I'm still very much in the game of desiring this change.
Again, may all move smoothly for you and Dianne.
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