Title: Mail Call
Word Count: 250 exactly
Series: Mangaverse, as ever
Rating: PG for vague allusions to naughty photos
Characters: Major Mustang and Captain Hughes
Summary: "You don't want to see spicy photos of my gorgeous girlfriend?"
Notes: this was my maiden entry to
fma_fic_contest , for the dialogue-only prompt, and I got joint second place! Woot! See
my post below for boasting and - more importantly - pimpage of the
other excellent entries for this week, which
you should read. Set in Ishbal and therefore potentially contains spoilers for the Ishbal flashback jamboree in chapters 57-61 of the manga, but in practice no more specific than "Hughes and Mustang fought in Ishbal."
"News from home?"
"The usual. Letter from my beautiful girlfriend. Want to see a photo?"
"I'm good, thanks."
"Look!"
"Ah. She's all right."
"All right? You’d take that back if you saw these others. Pretty spectacular, dunno how they got past the army censors -"
"Let's have a look, then-"
"I didn't say you could see them!"
"On second thoughts ... fine."
"Fine? You don't want to see spicy photos of my gorgeous girlfriend?"
"You don't want me to!"
"Well, no - but what's wrong with you? You're a man at war! This is a bee-autiful, scantily-clad girl-“
"Look. If we make it home, and if the poor woman hasn't seen sense, I suppose I'll have to meet her. It'd be nice if I could look her in the eye - "
"Hey! Give-"
"Too slow, my friend. Now ... huh."
"Whaddayameanhuh?”
"It's just ... these pictures aren't actually very spicy."
"WHAT.”
"Well, for a start, she's wearing a swimsuit, Maes. It's even one of those modest ones with little shorts! Now, perhaps, if there'd been a thong involved …"
"You're jealous, my friend!"
"Yes, you've got me. Poor me, I have no marginally arousing photos of my demure, presumably insane girlfriend - ouch! Not the hair!”
"Hahaha, you girl - hey! Get off my beard!"
"-attempted beard-"
"Ah! Okay, I'll let go if you will-"
"Company B, move your lazy asses! The extermination of District 158 is due done today!"
"Ah. Time for work. I'd forgotten."