The Bluth Yacht, Thursday evening

[bluth_illusions]

After calling into the pirate's radio show earlier, GOB wanted to see how his cunning scheme was working out. He picked up his phone and dialed.

[OOC: For lesssexthanmiho.]

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[lesssexthanmiho]

Becky had caller ID, and she had heard the radio.

"What?"

[lesssexthanmiho]

"You should be," said Becky.

[bluth_illusions]

"I am. Is there anything I can do to make up for this?" GOB asked, relieved to have dodged the original bullet. He figured he wouldn't have to worry about anything with the girl who didn't exist. After all, what could Becky do to a girl who didn't exist? Not kill her?

Remember what I said earlier about GOB's ability to think quickly?

[lesssexthanmiho]

"You can help me find her," Becky said.

[bluth_illusions]

Had he been a quick thinker, GOB would have seen that one coming a mile away. "Anything I can do to help."

[lesssexthanmiho]

"And so help me, if you know who she is and you've been screwing around with her," Becky said threateningly, "neither one of you is gonna be safe from me or Miho or the girls."

[bluth_illusions]

It worked! She WAS jealous! At the moment, GOB was failing to recognize how this was a bad thing.

"I promise, the only people who have access to me without my pants are you and me. So unless it turns out she's one of us, nothing's happened between me and her," GOB said, feeling clever.

[lesssexthanmiho]

"And she's not me." Becky paused. "Wait. You didn't dress in drag and call the pirate, right?"

[bluth_illusions]

"No, I didn't dress in drag and call the pirate," GOB said, disturbed that she would suggest such a thing. "And I'm disturbed you would suggest such a thing." See?

"And I'm not a woman. I told you she was a woman, not a drag queen."

[lesssexthanmiho]

"As far as you know. You haven't met her, so you can't know. She might be a man."

[bluth_illusions]

"Men don't find me attractive," GOB said. "My brother-in-law is gay and he never came onto me." Consciously, at least.

[lesssexthanmiho]

"...how is he your brother-in-law if he's gay?" she asked, momentarily confused.

[bluth_illusions]

"My sister - who's adopted and HAS come onto me -" Actually, it was the other way around after he found out that she was adopted, "- didn't know he was gay when she married him. And I don't think he knows he's gay. He's not very smart."

[lesssexthanmiho]

"I knew that," Becky realized. "Maybe he's just bi."

[bluth_illusions]

"No, he's really, really gay," GOB said. "But not for me. I intimidate gay men. They're just not into the illusion."

[lesssexthanmiho]

"You are not intimidating," she snorted.