one last time for second chances
light 'em up
ely/tarek
an: thea hat angstigste angst geschrieben & das war ziemlich wunderbar, aber auch ein bisschen schmerzhaft, also hab' ich ein fix it au dazu geschrieben. semi-smut.
prompt by tears_into_wine
challenge: kinkster's paradise bingo - "vertrau mir"
kisses of fate on my shivering skin
"i'm sorry," ely says because he doesn't know what else to say, he doesn't know what he possibly could say; he hears his own voice cracking at the words and it's pathetic, it's a pathetic excuse that won't make up for all the shit he's done, could never, not for all the things he’s done, hasn’t done.
"i'm sorry," he says again, now barely more than a whisper between them.
his fingers are still entangled with tarek's, so thin and soft, and he hasn't eaten right, ely can feel it, not that it would actually surprise him; tarek probably doesn't even really care. but it breaks ely's heart, more than anything else, reminding him of all those what ifs and had he justs, had he just stayed, had he never left, and again, "i'm so, so sorry."
he tries to catch tarek's eyes, currently fixed on the floor beneath them, the creaks in the wooden boards looking as if they were to collapse any moment, just as the rest of this building, but that's tarek's home, ely reminds himself.
he'd do nothing rather than to take him away from this place.
tarek still doesn't respond, so ely whispers "hey, look at me," almost afraid to make too much sound. with his free hand he's cupping tarek's cheek, fingertips ghosting over skin, barely there.
and tarek does look up, follows ely's lead - eyes glistening with tears he's trying to blink away, a futile attempt as they escape across this cheek, getting lost somewhere around ely's palm.
"i'm here now," ely says, promises, feeling his own eyes burning, "i won't leave, i'm here, i'm here."
that's when tarek gives in, breathing out a sob, unable to hold back anymore, the grip around ely's hand slightly tightening, but it's there, he's holding on. the next moment they're closer, and he can feel tarek's warmth against him, tarek's face buried in ely's neck, ragged breaths between sobs, crying into his shirt. ely's hand wanders from tarek's cheek around his hip and he's holding him, they fit so well into each other, whispering "it's okay, i've got you, i'm here", hot tears running down his face.
"why?" tarek asks between sobs, and for a moment ely is really afraid that what will follow is a "why did you leave?". instead he continues, "why did you come back?", and ely can hear how tarek wants to believe his promise to stay, but not quite, and he doesn't understand, and neither does ely.
so he says the only thing that comes to his mind, the only truth he allows himself - "i missed you."
because he did, he realises in this moment, he did so so much, and he asks himself how he could ever have left. there was a reason, ely knows, but it doesn't make sense anymore, not as he's standing here, in the middle of this much too small, much too broken room, holding tarek in his arms, after what seems like an eternity, but it's okay, it's okay, now it is.
"i missed you so, so much," ely says again, and now he's sobbing as well, "shit, i - i really fucked up, you know."
tarek makes a sound that could be a laugh, muffled by ely's shoulder as well as his cries. he's letting go of ely's hand and for a moment it's really cold, but only to wrap his arm around ely, saying "i missed you, too."
he doesn't know how long they're standing there. how many minutes, eternities have passed, and it doesn't matter anyway. eventually, both their sobs slowly die out, eyes red and puffed in the dim light of the room, finally able to breathe again.
wiping tears from tarek's face with his thumb, ely almost as much as smiles. it's not the first time they end up like that, but it's been too long.
tarek slightly leans into his touch and ely thinks he might start crying again, but he's just looking at him. he wonders what he must see; he wonders, only for the glimpse of a moment, if it's the murderer, the assassin.
he really did fuck up a big deal.
but tarek's still here. they both are, this shitty room suddenly the best place ely could imagine.
"hey," ely says, almost shy, hand still resting on tarek's face, eyes so dark he could get lost in them.
"hey," tarek whispers back, not hesitantly, but anticipating. he leans in, slowly, only a bit, enough for ely to know; to follow his moves until they meet in the middle, lips almost touching, only centimetres between them.
he's so close, ely can feel tarek's warm breath on his skin, tarek's forehead against his own. ely swallows hard, his own heartbeat way too fast, and he's holding out for a moment, enough time for tarek to draw back if he wanted to; but he doesn't.
when ely leans in, tarek is still right there.
they kiss, and it's like coming home.
tarek's lips are soft and familiar and it's been too long, but it's like all this time, all those years don't matter. suddenly they're gone and it's only the two of them, lips brushing against each other, ely's hands carefully cupping tarek's face, tarek's hands on his chest, his hips. he feels so fragile under ely's touch as if he might crack and shatter any moment, but ely won't let that happen, he'll do anything.
they part, lips red, looking at each other only for a moment before coming back together.
ely's hands leave tarek's cheek, running down his body, he needs to touch, needs to feel him, and tarek leans in; breath hitched, his hands in ely's hair, bringing him even closer to him as if he's afraid he'll be gone any moment.
they're still standing there in the middle of the small room and then they're not anymore, knees bumping against the bed beneath them, tarek letting himself drop down onto it, ely following him, still together.
ely is half on the bed, half in tarek's lap, legs entangled, fingers brushing over skin, finding their way to tarek's shirt. ely's lips move from tarek's, pressing kisses along his jaw, following the line to his throat, caressing every inch of skin he can find.
tarek throws his head back, a whimper escaping his lips, and ely mutters "it's okay, i’ve got you" against his neck, lightly sucking it. tarek leans back into the sheets, ely on top of him, hands slipping beneath tarek's shirt.
"still okay?" ely asks, looking up, waiting for a reply.
tarek is breathing hard, lips parted and hair a mess, nodding eagerly.
so ely carries on, pressing kisses to tarek's collar bones, one after another, simultaneously lifting up his shirt, tarek's chest rising and falling beneath him.
moving onto tarek's belly, feeling the uneven shape of scarred skin, and ely wishes he could take it away, make it alright.
"ely," tarek breathes, struggling to get out even a single word, hips slightly bucking towards him.
"i'm here," ely reassures him, "i'll take care of you, okay?"
and tarek just whimpers in his arms, which is all ely needs.
skin against skin, tarek whispering ely's name again and again as if he's been waiting to finally be able to say it again; melting in ely's arms, a mess of soft noises and warmth and two bodies that have been without each other way too long.
he's here, they both are; tarek falling asleep in ely's arms much later, the bed almost too small for both of them, but it's okay, they don't need much space. slow breaths in the dark, ely drifting away to the sound of it, for once almost immediately. no nightmares, no alarms, just the two of them.
when ely wakes up, tarek is still next to him.
sunlight is falling through the cracks of the wooden blanks covering the windows. the sounds of the traffic outside the building seem distant and worlds away, the only real, actually existing thing being tarek.
ely is still sleepy, but actually feeling well rested for once. time doesn't matter, though it must have been more than enough.
he's blinking against the sunlight. tarek's hair is messy, his lips are slightly parted, and he looks so much younger, peaceful in his sleep. ely draws the thin blanket closer to them, covering tarek, careful not to wake him.
it's okay. ely feels like it's okay, maybe not completely, but at least a bit. more than before, he knows; the rest doesn't matter, not now.
when tarek wakes up, hours later, ely is still there.
ely/tarek
an: thea hat angstigste angst geschrieben & das war ziemlich wunderbar, aber auch ein bisschen schmerzhaft, also hab' ich ein fix it au dazu geschrieben. semi-smut.
prompt by tears_into_wine
challenge: kinkster's paradise bingo - "vertrau mir"
kisses of fate on my shivering skin
"i'm sorry," ely says because he doesn't know what else to say, he doesn't know what he possibly could say; he hears his own voice cracking at the words and it's pathetic, it's a pathetic excuse that won't make up for all the shit he's done, could never, not for all the things he’s done, hasn’t done.
"i'm sorry," he says again, now barely more than a whisper between them.
his fingers are still entangled with tarek's, so thin and soft, and he hasn't eaten right, ely can feel it, not that it would actually surprise him; tarek probably doesn't even really care. but it breaks ely's heart, more than anything else, reminding him of all those what ifs and had he justs, had he just stayed, had he never left, and again, "i'm so, so sorry."
he tries to catch tarek's eyes, currently fixed on the floor beneath them, the creaks in the wooden boards looking as if they were to collapse any moment, just as the rest of this building, but that's tarek's home, ely reminds himself.
he'd do nothing rather than to take him away from this place.
tarek still doesn't respond, so ely whispers "hey, look at me," almost afraid to make too much sound. with his free hand he's cupping tarek's cheek, fingertips ghosting over skin, barely there.
and tarek does look up, follows ely's lead - eyes glistening with tears he's trying to blink away, a futile attempt as they escape across this cheek, getting lost somewhere around ely's palm.
"i'm here now," ely says, promises, feeling his own eyes burning, "i won't leave, i'm here, i'm here."
that's when tarek gives in, breathing out a sob, unable to hold back anymore, the grip around ely's hand slightly tightening, but it's there, he's holding on. the next moment they're closer, and he can feel tarek's warmth against him, tarek's face buried in ely's neck, ragged breaths between sobs, crying into his shirt. ely's hand wanders from tarek's cheek around his hip and he's holding him, they fit so well into each other, whispering "it's okay, i've got you, i'm here", hot tears running down his face.
"why?" tarek asks between sobs, and for a moment ely is really afraid that what will follow is a "why did you leave?". instead he continues, "why did you come back?", and ely can hear how tarek wants to believe his promise to stay, but not quite, and he doesn't understand, and neither does ely.
so he says the only thing that comes to his mind, the only truth he allows himself - "i missed you."
because he did, he realises in this moment, he did so so much, and he asks himself how he could ever have left. there was a reason, ely knows, but it doesn't make sense anymore, not as he's standing here, in the middle of this much too small, much too broken room, holding tarek in his arms, after what seems like an eternity, but it's okay, it's okay, now it is.
"i missed you so, so much," ely says again, and now he's sobbing as well, "shit, i - i really fucked up, you know."
tarek makes a sound that could be a laugh, muffled by ely's shoulder as well as his cries. he's letting go of ely's hand and for a moment it's really cold, but only to wrap his arm around ely, saying "i missed you, too."
he doesn't know how long they're standing there. how many minutes, eternities have passed, and it doesn't matter anyway. eventually, both their sobs slowly die out, eyes red and puffed in the dim light of the room, finally able to breathe again.
wiping tears from tarek's face with his thumb, ely almost as much as smiles. it's not the first time they end up like that, but it's been too long.
tarek slightly leans into his touch and ely thinks he might start crying again, but he's just looking at him. he wonders what he must see; he wonders, only for the glimpse of a moment, if it's the murderer, the assassin.
he really did fuck up a big deal.
but tarek's still here. they both are, this shitty room suddenly the best place ely could imagine.
"hey," ely says, almost shy, hand still resting on tarek's face, eyes so dark he could get lost in them.
"hey," tarek whispers back, not hesitantly, but anticipating. he leans in, slowly, only a bit, enough for ely to know; to follow his moves until they meet in the middle, lips almost touching, only centimetres between them.
he's so close, ely can feel tarek's warm breath on his skin, tarek's forehead against his own. ely swallows hard, his own heartbeat way too fast, and he's holding out for a moment, enough time for tarek to draw back if he wanted to; but he doesn't.
when ely leans in, tarek is still right there.
they kiss, and it's like coming home.
tarek's lips are soft and familiar and it's been too long, but it's like all this time, all those years don't matter. suddenly they're gone and it's only the two of them, lips brushing against each other, ely's hands carefully cupping tarek's face, tarek's hands on his chest, his hips. he feels so fragile under ely's touch as if he might crack and shatter any moment, but ely won't let that happen, he'll do anything.
they part, lips red, looking at each other only for a moment before coming back together.
ely's hands leave tarek's cheek, running down his body, he needs to touch, needs to feel him, and tarek leans in; breath hitched, his hands in ely's hair, bringing him even closer to him as if he's afraid he'll be gone any moment.
they're still standing there in the middle of the small room and then they're not anymore, knees bumping against the bed beneath them, tarek letting himself drop down onto it, ely following him, still together.
ely is half on the bed, half in tarek's lap, legs entangled, fingers brushing over skin, finding their way to tarek's shirt. ely's lips move from tarek's, pressing kisses along his jaw, following the line to his throat, caressing every inch of skin he can find.
tarek throws his head back, a whimper escaping his lips, and ely mutters "it's okay, i’ve got you" against his neck, lightly sucking it. tarek leans back into the sheets, ely on top of him, hands slipping beneath tarek's shirt.
"still okay?" ely asks, looking up, waiting for a reply.
tarek is breathing hard, lips parted and hair a mess, nodding eagerly.
so ely carries on, pressing kisses to tarek's collar bones, one after another, simultaneously lifting up his shirt, tarek's chest rising and falling beneath him.
moving onto tarek's belly, feeling the uneven shape of scarred skin, and ely wishes he could take it away, make it alright.
"ely," tarek breathes, struggling to get out even a single word, hips slightly bucking towards him.
"i'm here," ely reassures him, "i'll take care of you, okay?"
and tarek just whimpers in his arms, which is all ely needs.
skin against skin, tarek whispering ely's name again and again as if he's been waiting to finally be able to say it again; melting in ely's arms, a mess of soft noises and warmth and two bodies that have been without each other way too long.
he's here, they both are; tarek falling asleep in ely's arms much later, the bed almost too small for both of them, but it's okay, they don't need much space. slow breaths in the dark, ely drifting away to the sound of it, for once almost immediately. no nightmares, no alarms, just the two of them.
when ely wakes up, tarek is still next to him.
sunlight is falling through the cracks of the wooden blanks covering the windows. the sounds of the traffic outside the building seem distant and worlds away, the only real, actually existing thing being tarek.
ely is still sleepy, but actually feeling well rested for once. time doesn't matter, though it must have been more than enough.
he's blinking against the sunlight. tarek's hair is messy, his lips are slightly parted, and he looks so much younger, peaceful in his sleep. ely draws the thin blanket closer to them, covering tarek, careful not to wake him.
it's okay. ely feels like it's okay, maybe not completely, but at least a bit. more than before, he knows; the rest doesn't matter, not now.
when tarek wakes up, hours later, ely is still there.