The Confusion Confession of Park YooChun
Title: The Confusion Confession of Park YooChun
Pairing: YooSu
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Romance
Rating: Pg-13
Length: Oneshot
Summary: HaRang gave him an idea, he followed it and got his broken heart for the first time until JunSu came to find him.
The Confusion Confession of Park YooChun
YooChun tiredly plopped down onto the couch with a tense expression etched upon his face. Almost immediately he felt something brushed itself lovingly against his legs and that was none other than his lovable pet dog. He petted his head, earning a happy bark from the ever cheerful dog.
“HaRang...”
“Master!”
YooChun let out a small smile before frowning again. HaRang, being a curious dog he is kept staring at YooChun who was continuously sighing himself out. He wondered what or who might have been the cause of YooChun’s condition. His head tilted to his sides with questions.
YooChun smiled again and gestured HaRang to rest beside him. HaRang complied, and rested comfortably beside YooChun.
“Master, what happened? Something is wrong?”
YooChun shook his head slowly.
“Nothing...”
“Yeah and I am a statue.”
YooChun rolled his eyes at HaRang.
“You’re a dog, HaRang...”
“So tell me what’s bothering you. I’m your lovable pet dog and companion!”
YooChun sighed heavily.
“It’s complicated...”
“Then it must be about JunSu.”
YooChun sighed deeply.
“Am I too obvious?”
“For the past 3 years, so yes.”
“Oh, I am that obvious?”
HaRang nodded frantically. YooChun shook his head with disbelief and smiled.
“Even so, I am oblivious for JunSu. He still sees me as his only true best friend and nothing else.”
The little smile on YooChun’s lips slowly turned into a bitter one. HaRang’s ear drooped down as YooChun kept stroking him with a sad smile on his face.
“It was never supposed for me to see JunSu in a different way from the others. I tried to run away, to fool myself many times that was, that I wasn’t in love with JunSu, my best friend for so long. But I just couldn’t ignore my heart that keeps on calling for him. My love doesn’t seem to decrease. I must have loved him so much.”
YooChun sighed again and HaRang wished he could wipe off the sad smile from YooChun’s face.
“Master...”
“My heart feels hurt, HaRang...but I don’t want this feeling to disappear. No matter how much it hurts, my heart just can’t leave JunSu. This heart of mine must love JunSu and no one else. There is only one love for me and it is JunSu.”
“Then confess!”
HaRang shot up from YooChun’s side with enthusiasm sparkled in his eyes. YooChun’s eyes grew wide and immediately he shook his head with clear hesitant on his face.
“No! I can’t do that!”
“Why?”
“Well...because I just can’t!”
“Wow, now I know I’ve a coward master!”
“And you said you’re my lovable pet dog and companion?”
“Hey, no mocking words!”
“Look who’s talking!”
“I don’t talk, I bark.”
Without warning, HaRang jumped onto YooChun’s lap, ignoring the small cries of pain from his master. A great idea (he knew it was) suddenly popped into his mind.
“Write a love letter to JunSu!”
“Should I? Why should I?”
YooChun frowned deeper, and HaRang could only shook his head with disbelief (how could his master became so dense?).
“So that he will know your love for him since you’re so scared of doing so straight to his face.”
A soft grunt escaped from YooChun.
“What should I write about?”
“Well, how about why you love JunSu?”
HaRang lied down back beside YooChun, waiting for his reactions. He smiled inwardly as he saw the frown immediately faded away and a smile on YooChun’s face.
YooChun knew it will be a long letter alright if the question was why he loved JunSu. So YooChun took out a paper and quickly wrote something on it. And instead of being wordless in front of JunSu, he easily wrote his hidden heart down.
===
I love you when your warm beauty approaches me.
And I am left enthralled every time I see a glimpse of you.
I love you when your warm eyes look at me.
And I am left captivated every time our eyes met.
I love you when your warm smiles greet me.
And I am left amazed every time I see your smiling face.
I love you when...
===
But somehow, it felt wrong.
YooChun stared a moment at the words he wrote and without warning, he ripped the well-written letter in seconds, which earned a hopeless wailing from HaRang.
“Master! Look what you’ve done!”
YooChun stood up in an instance and with a clear determined look on his face he walked towards the main door. HaRang followed, with a-not-so amused look on him.
“Where are you going? Don’t tell me you’re going to drown yourself just because you can’t confess to JunSu. I won’t save you if you do.”
YooChun stopped mid-way just to stare at HaRang and thought hard of why he had loved HaRang in the first place (sarcastically said).
“I’m going to confess to JunSu for real.”
Yes, Park YooChun would do it, because Kim JunSu deserved it.
An amused smile decorated HaRang’s face. Without wasting any second anymore, he shoved YooChun out of the house although with much resistance from the man.
“You don’t have to do that by the way. It’s not that I’m going to chicken out.”
“Well, I just want to make sure you won’t have any second thought of it. The end.”
YooChun rolled his eyes again at the smirking HaRang. He then let out a soft grunt.
“Fine. Just be safe at home.”
“Like I never.”
“Well I’m going now. Wish me luck!”
“Just don’t come back weeping and heartbroken!”
YooChun fisted both of his hands in the air and smiled wide, feeling encouraged although with the not-so-encouragement words (they were barks anyway) from HaRang. He would just ignore the cynicism from his dearest pet dog. YooChun kept his composure calm and continued his way back towards the building both he and JunSu worked as partners in an architectural company. Instead of using his car as a way of transportation, he chose to walk. And yes, obviously he was that determined.
Within exactly 11 minutes and 24 seconds later YooChun arrived in front of the building’s main elevator. His eyes stared blankly at the elevator’s door and somehow he was feeling nervous. He waited for a moment (another 11 minutes that was) before his finger slowly pressed the up button.
He stepped into the elevator and counted the floor up with pure anticipation.
G
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
The elevator’s door then opened, just to erase the smile on YooChun’s face at once his eyes grimly met the sight of JunSu right in front of the elevator being held in another man’s embrace with a smile etched upon his beautiful face.
It was the same smile that made YooChun fell for JunSu.
YooChun flinched in conscience as he felt his chest was burning with a buried blaze. He tried to make his emotions invisible, but who to blame his weak side every time JunSu was involved?
His breaths hitched, oxygen never felt so foreign. He took a few steps backwards with his eyes still glued to the heartbreaking sight in front of him. JunSu never seemed to even notice his presence, neither the other man. He winced, somehow he could hear his heart shattering into millions invisible pieces.
The elevator’s door gradually being closed again, just the right second he hastily dropped down onto the cold steel floor as his back met the wall of the elevator. He closed his eyes in abrupt motion as the previous image started to flash through his hazy mind.
“Looks like I’ve just become a weeping heartbroken man.”
He smiled bitterly as he buried his head against his knees, a lone tear flowing carelessly.
“A weeping heartbroken Park YooChun.”
***
YooChun has been avoiding JunSu for the past month. He had his one month vacation, without a word uttered to JunSu about it. He went to his secret hideout to be alone, leaving HaRang in the hand of the day-care. He felt sorry for HaRang but nevertheless he knew HaRang understood his reasons.
So here is YooChun now in the peace of his beach house, his eyes staring at the ever calm ocean as he stands quietly on the surprisingly warm sandy beach. The starry night is beautiful as always for the past month. The breeze softly caresses his face and instantly he feels serene. But it is just a momentary harmony as his mind begins to remember JunSu again.
YooChun sighs, a tad poignant. The image of JunSu in another’s man embrace really hurts him. But no matter how he tries to conceal his heart, it never stops from longing for JunSu.
But he cannot be greedy and selfish, doesn’t he?
Love is neither of those, and he knows it from the moment he fell for JunSu.
If JunSu chooses to be with that man, he should accept that fact and be happy for him. He once hides his feelings so why can’t he do that now?
It will hurt, a lot that is but he will endure it like an honoured man...at least in front of JunSu.
Another sigh escapes YooChun’s lips and with that he turns to retreat towards the beach house, the secret hideout only him to know about it.
But if that is true, then why there is a silhouette of a certain someone behind him, with crystal-clear liquid filling the liberty of his eyes?
YooChun is taken aback when a pair of arms securely encircles his slim waist. Silent gasps fill the atmosphere as he feels a warm body neatly pressed against his back. The warmth is unmistakable. It is JunSu’s.
YooChun’s mind hastily wonders of all of the possibilities of how and why he is here.
How on Earth can JunSu be here in front him?
And why on Earth that JunSu is here with him now?
Little by little, he put his hand over JunSu’s ones, grasping them timidly.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
“I miss you.”
YooChun sighs as a single tear drops down onto his cheek. After all of this, how can JunSu says that?
“Su...”
“Let us stay like this for a moment, Chun...”
That warm arms encircle him a tad tighter. That warm body embraces him a tad closer. And YooChun has fall again even deeper.
Moments, seconds and minutes pass through until YooChun finally breaks the silence’s spell. He can no longer take the tension his heart creates.
“You should go back.”
“Not without you.”
“Kim JunSu, let me go.”
And he says those words, icily.
He can feel the way JunSu flinches in surprise. YooChun know there isn’t any way to make JunSu to let go of him other than to ask him rather harshly, although it breaks his hearts of doing so.
With much force of holding himself back from getting a hold of JunSu and never let him go, YooChun paces back towards the beach house leaving JunSu behind.
He needs to do this.
He should stay away when the pain is still bearable for him to endure.
Maybe, YooChun is the one who is oblivious.
If only he sees the tears JunSu has shed.
If only he notices the tears are because of him.
If only he knows...that JunSu is in pain as he is too.
If only YooChun knows...
Yes, if only...
***
JunSu can listen to the sound of his heart being torn unsympathetically into pieces. He smiles, a bitter one as he aimlessly strides towards nowhere.
Maybe he is just too late of showing YooChun how much he values him, to the point no one can be compared to him.
If only he is obvious enough, YooChun will know the love he has for him for so long.
If only he is not obscure to be, YooChun will know it sooner.
If only he never feels scared of being rejected, he will be much happier.
If only he never feels afraid of losing a best friend, he will be more contented.
Although YooChun never returns his love, he will still be pleased...because love is simply giving.
But love is not blind, is it?
And maybe, JunSu is not too late.
JunSu strides a step further only to have a familiar voice to call for him.
“JunSu!”
He halts in his steps and at once he turns behind, taken in surprise as he sees YooChun running towards him.
“YooChun...”
“Su...”
Finally they are face to face, distance inches closer, warm breaths mingle together, hearts thumping faster.
“Chun, what...?”
“Just hear me out.”
It is now or never.
That is all YooChun says as he captures JunSu’s lips with his own quivering ones, kissing him with all the passion he once hides before.
JunSu feels YooChun’s pouty lips kissing and nibbling his ones with so much passion he can ever ask that left his legs weak on the ground. So he clutches onto YooChun’s broad shoulder and somehow, he deepens the kiss.
It feels like a moment in heaven, and all can both of them think is the sweet taste of each other.
They continue to kiss each other passionately until YooChun pulls away with a content smile etches upon his face. Another charming smile he flashes, making JunSu to flush shyly as he traces those swollen lips with his thumb.
“I never know, Su.”
“I never know too, Chun.”
“Since when?”
“Since the moment you called me dolphin.”
A smirk.
“Liar...”
A gasp.
“No, it’s the truth!”
A kiss.
“I believe you.”
A smile.
“What about you?”
A frown.
“I forgot about it.”
A pout.
“Oh, really?”
A snicker and another kiss.
“It was when you called me a cry-baby.”
Another gasp.
“Really? I guess you have loved me first.”
A smile.
“Well, obviously.”
A sad smile.
“I’m sorry, Chun.”
Another frown.
“For what, Su?”
Another sad smile.
“Because you’ve to love such a dense man.”
A chaste kiss.
“Su, do you know why I love you?”
A shake.
“No.”
A smile.
“Do want to know?”
A nod.
YooChun gazes lovingly into JunSu’s eyes as he murmurs softly.
“Kim JunSu, I love you when your warm beauty approaches me and I am left enthralled every time I see a glimpse of you.”
“Kim JunSu, I love you when your warm eyes look at me and I am left captivated every time our eyes met.”
“Kim JunSu, I love you when your warm smiles greet me and I am left amazed every time I see your smiling face.”
“Kim JunSu, I love you when your warm hands hold mine and I am left pleased every time I was being held by yours.”
“Kim JunSu, I love you when your warm arms around me and I am left elated every time I was in your embrace.”
“Kim JunSu, I love you when your warm tears fall as I am left contented to be the one who wiped them off every time you cried.”
“And Kim JunSu, I love you when you warm lips kiss me and the world’s fret and vexes never worries me.”
A smile and a kiss.
“Those are only a small fraction of reasons why I love you, Su. So do you love me?”
“Yes, I do love you, Chun...”
A passionate kiss, heavy breaths.
“Let us stay like this forever, alright Su?”
A pleased nod.
“Anything for you, Chun.”
A content smile.
YooChun embraces JunSu again as they watch the beautiful starry night above, few kisses and conversations being shared.
“Chun, did you know ChangMinnie came to our company a month ago?”
JunSu’s question left YooChun frowning.
“No, he did?”
JunSu nods and embraces YooChun tighter.
“Yeah, he came to say goodbye since he wanted to further his studies. I called you but you didn’t pick up the call. Anyway, he asked me to hug you for him, just like this.”
YooChun frowns deeper.
Can it be that the man he saw embraced JunSu before was ChangMin? Yes, of course that man was ChangMin. How could he not notice the tall figure of his dongsaeng? He has misunderstood JunSu with ChangMin and he instantly rewarded himself a mental slap over it.
But the truth is, only when that fateful incident happened that he and JunSu are able to confess their love towards each other.
“Oh, and he said when I hug you for him, make sure that I say this.”
YooChun smiled just to frown even deeper of JunSu’s words afterwards.
“What?”
“Park YooChun-0, Shim ChangMin-1. Better luck next time, Hyung.”
JunSu’s brows furrow as if thinking something so deeply.
“Until now I don’t understand why Minnie said that.”
And for the first time in his life, Park YooChun wants to kill a human and the lucky person to be is none other than the sneaky Shim ChangMin.
“Just for the record, Su, who do you love more? This lovable Park YooChun or that so called ‘charming’ Shim ChangMin?
JunSu shakes his head feeling amused by YooChun’s pout.
“I don’t love you more.”
YooChun’s eyes widen.
“But I love you the most, Park YooChun.”
JunSu leans in and kisses the pout away from YooChun’s lips. YooChun at once grins wide and whispers huskily to JunSu.
“Say Kim JunSu, do you want to follow me back to my secret hideout?”
***