J2 Fic. Broken - 1/6
Title: Broken
Authors: blueeyedliz ,heatherofnight & scarlettraven9
Summary: Jared was trying to escape the past by going away to college. With the help of his friend Chad and a hot waiter named Jensen, he might just be able to live again.
Word Count: 3,098 (this part)
Rating: NC/17 - bad language and violent scenes including implied non-con (although the violence is part of a back-story and only made referance to.)
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Disclaimer: None of us own Jared or Jensen or any of the recognizable names used and no disrespect is intended. We just like to play, a lot.
He wears his hair long with thick brown strands hanging down to frame his face. He looks like an artist. Someone who probably adores Rimbaud and Édith Piaf and writes lengthy poems about death and lost love. Jensen doesn’t know the kid’s name so in his head he calls him Sebastian. The kid looks like a Sebastian.
Jensen’s wiping down tables and watching Sebastian scribble in a notepad, every now and then putting down his pen to suck up a mouthful of chocolate shake through a straw.
Jensen wants to be that straw.
Sebastian’s been coming to Mo’s Diner for weeks now and so far, all Jensen has said to him is three different variations of “are you ready to order yet?”
Sometimes he’ll say “Hi there, can I take your order?” One time, he actually said, “So, what’ll it be?” flashed a pretty smile and prayed that Sebastian would reply “You.” Of course Jensen’s prayers went unanswered, as per usual.
Sebastian nearly always orders a chocolate shake, fries and a bacon-double cheese burger. By rights Sebastian should be six-hundred pounds with a gut the size of New Jersey but he’s not. He’s tall-easily the tallest guy Jensen has ever seen-and lean. Probably muscular too but his heavy black coat never comes off, and Jensen has already wasted too many of his lunch-breaks contemplating the wonders hidden from view underneath.
Jensen had never considered himself a Sherlock Holmes wannabe-more like Magnum, without the porn-star moustache thank you very much-but he’s still tempted to do some investigative work to try and find out more about the strangely enigmatic Sebastian. Like what classes Sebastian is taking, and what the heck is his real name anyway?
Patty wanders out of the back kitchen clutching her order pad. She’s chewing on the end of her pencil but removes it from her mouth to give Jensen her ‘Patty special’ big-teeth smile when she notices that he’s lost in thought and staring at Sebastian again. She sidles over and bumps Jensen’s leg with her hip. “Jensen, you look like someone just ran over your cat. You’ve got to stop moping over him. He’s either straight or taken - the cute ones always are.”
Patty is forty-five and has been working as a waitress since she was eighteen. Jensen doesn’t want to rain on Patty’s parade but Patty depresses the crap out of him.
Jensen works at Mo’s for the money, earning a little extra cash to try and supplement his paltry college fund. The money isn’t great (in fact, it’s close to diabolical) but it beats being broke.
Mo is affectionately called Little Mo, but never to his face seeing as none of his employees want to piss off a 6-foot guy with fists the size of anvils. Apart from Mo, who stays in the kitchen where he can’t scare the patrons, there’s cheerful waitress Patty, Jensen - who takes orders and buses tables, Sandy who waitresses the night-shift and Igor, who washes dishes...okay, so his name isn’t Igor but he’s a Russian-exchange student, nobody could pronounce his real name and Igor seemed to fit so the poor guy ended up stuck with it. He doesn’t seem to speak much English but does like to swear a lot, in Russian.
Like most days, Chris rolls in at around nine am for his usual morning caffeine hit, walks right over to where Jensen is refilling some salt shakers and shouts “Mornin’ sweetheart” so ridiculously loud and directly into Jensen’s ear that Jensen knocks a good half dozen of the salt shakers onto the floor with his flailing arms.
“You are an asshole.” Jensen states, disappearing to fetch a broom.
“You’ll not be saying that when you hear what I’ve found out.”
“Spill it.”
“Well turns out Danneel bumped into tall, dark and hunky the other day as he was coming out of McCredie’s Office.” Chris says with a secretive grin as he nods in Sebastian’s direction. “He had his head down and wasn’t looking where he was going. He literally came charging out the door and knocked Danneel off her feet. Anyway, he gets all flappy, starts picking up her books and apologising and...”
“And?” Jensen presses, prodding Chris in the arm.
“It turns out his name is Jared.” Chris grins waggling his eyebrows.
“Jared.” Jensen smiles broadly, rolling the name off his tongue and instantly liking the way it sounds coming from his mouth. “Jare, Jay, Jaredddd.” In his mind’s eye he can see their names ‘Jared and Jensen’ with the Js intertwined together, it’s so perfect it sounds like a love song. The love song of Jared and Jensen...maybe Tim McGraw could sing it. “Jared.” Jensen repeats again happily, with a longing smile which vanishes the moment he hears a soft voice behind him.
“Yeah?”
Jensen turns around, painfully slow-eyes wide and sweat quickly beading on his forehead-Sebastian, shit no, Jared, is standing halfway out the door obviously in the process of just leaving when he must have overheard Jensen say his name. Jensen fakes what he hopes looks like a genuine smile; “have a good d-day?” he stutters nervously and adds a little wave, which is unquestionably the lamest most dorky thing he’s ever done.
Jared purses his lips, his eyes dart down to study Jensen’s name tag. “You too erm, Jensen.” He turns then and pushes the door fully open, slipping outside.
“What the hell was that?” Chris asks in mock horror and Jensen turns to see Chris doing an exaggerated impersonation of his wave.
“Oh my God, I suck.” Jensen groans putting a hand over his eyes.
Chris grins. “I’m glad you’ve said it first because as your friend I thought it was going to be down to me to break the news to you.”
“Did you say Danneel saw him coming out of McCredie’s office? As in McCredie the Guidance Counsellor?” Jensen asks, eyes staring out the window at Jared who’s popping the collar on his coat and ducking his head as he walks, trying to get some shelter from the rain shower which is currently hammering down.
“Yep.” Chris nods watching Jensen watching Jared disappear down the street. “Tall, dark, hunky and brooding apparently.”
-0-
Jared makes it back to his dorm room, heart still pounding. He hopes that his room mate and childhood friend, Chad, won’t be in. It would be nice to have a moment to collect himself before his midmorning class.
Luck is not on his side.
“Hey buddy, how was breakfast? Did you actually get the nerve up to say hello to lover boy?” Chad smirks at him from his bed. The young man is putting his socks and shoes on.
Jared sighs. “He knows my name. But I’m not sure how?”
“That’s great Jared. It means he likes you enough to find out a bit about you. So did you talk to him?”
Jared stares at his feet, wishing that he could say yes to that question.
“Jared, you’ve got to start living again. I know it’s been a rough year, but dude, you deserve to have some happiness.” Chad is giving him a sympathetic smile.
It has been a rough year, and Jared’s glad that his childhood friend had been there for him.
Coming out in the small town he lived in had been hard. Chad had been his only true support.
Jared had chosen to come out in May right before his graduation from High School. It had been a difficult decision but Jared had been tired of living a lie. By waiting until right before graduation, he figured that if things didn’t go well, at least he would be leaving soon for college.
The news had left his parents in shock. They told him that they loved him, but he could tell that they were worried about his future. Small town Texas wasn’t always accepting of people being different and they were concerned for him.
It turned out that they had reason too. A week after graduation Jared was walking home after spending the evening watching movies with Chad when he was jumped from behind by a group of males.
It happened so fast, and the cowards that attacked him had worn masks. He was called a fucking faggot, and beaten badly. He was hurting, but it wasn’t until they had pulled a knife that he had feared for his life.
Jared could remember their hands stripping him naked. Holding him down as the leader of the group placed himself between his legs. There was so much pain as each of the members of the group took their turn with him. But it wasn’t until he saw the knife that he had feared for his life.
Jared is brought out of his pondering by Chad’s voice. “Earth to Jared.”
“Sorry.” Jared gives Chad a small smile.
“It’s okay. I know you have a lot to work through. I get that. Deciding to come to college was a big step for you, and I’m sorry if I’m being pushy. I just want you to be happy.” Chad stands and gives Jared’s shoulder a quick squeeze, as he passes. “Dude, I’m going to be late, but we’ll chat later.”
Jared nods. “Sure, and Chad, thanks.”
Chad winks as he grabs his back pack and opens the door. “No worries Jared, we’ll talk later dude.”
The door shuts and Jared plops down on top of his bed. He knows he needs to get it together before he heads to class.
College has been a big step. After the attack, Jared had been afraid to be alone. It had been Chad promising that he would be there to lean on that had allowed Jared to even contemplate going to college.
Jared has a great counselor at the school and an off site psychologist, Dr. Morgan. Between the three of them, he has been able to function on at least a basic level at college.
Classes and studying have never been hard, and he finds comfort in the routine of school. It’s the social aspect that scares him. Still scares him, so his social life is non existent. Chad is it.
Well, Chad and Jensen. Jensen had caught his eye the first time he visited Mo’s Diner. His kind eyes, and easy going nature had been an immediate draw for Jared.
The problem is, Jared is sure that Jensen wouldn’t want damaged goods. And that is what Jared is.
The assault has left Jared with many mental scars, and he is working through those. But the physical scars that came from the attack will never go away.
The word Faggot that was carved in his chest has faded over time, but Jared can still see it clearly every time he looks in a mirror, and it is a permanent reminder of his nightmare. How would he ever be able to have a relationship with anyone with the horrible scars he had?
Jensen is perfect and Jared knows that he would never be good enough for such perfection. With a heavy sigh Jared gets up and freshens up for class.
School is his life now, and he knows he needs to focus on that and not his fantasy partner.
-0-
Jared wasn’t sure he was ready to go back to Mo’s but conquering his fear was something Dr. Morgan had been working on with him so he thought he’d give it a shot. Worse case scenario, he’d get the food to go. Change it up a little. That was putting a new spin on it instead of cowering like he really wanted to do.
But Jensen works there and apparently there is a lot Jared will brave just to look at the guy…freckles spattering across a cute nose, lively green eyes and spiky light brown hair. And the body. Yeah, the body. Jensen definitely takes care of himself.
Not that Jared would ever find out. At the rate he was going, he wouldn’t even make it inside before the place closes.
A group of about five or six guys exit Mo’s just as Jared approaches the door. No one says anything to him, at least he doesn’t think they do, but his heart is pumping so loudly in his ears he isn’t sure. Someone brushes up against him and Jared wants to freak right there.
Instead he makes himself enter the diner. He’s about to sit at his usual booth when the nausea hits and he stumbles toward the bathroom, praying no one is in there.
A hand lands on his shoulder and someone whispers something in his ear and Jared finds himself sliding inexorably toward darkness.
-0-
Jensen’s heart picks up its pace as he glimpses Jared outside the large window as he approaches the door. The group of assholes who hassled Patty are leaving, Thank God, which means it shouldn’t be too loud. Just in case Jared wants to talk.
The tall handsome kid-because really, he couldn’t even pull off 21 if he grew a beard-sidles into Mo’s and he looks fragile.
Fragile. Not exactly a word Jensen would apply to someone who easily tops six feet.
Jared hovers at his booth for just a moment and then eyes darting wildly, he moves unsteadily for the bathroom. There he pauses as if with indecision.
Jensen has always had a weakness for creatures in need and the one he’s set his sights on is a prime example. He coasts from behind the counter and puts a hand on Jared’s shoulder. “Hey, you okay? You’re looking a little pale.”
Before he even knows what’s happening, the body before his folds and crashes into Jensen’s arms.
He was right. He can feel the muscles beneath his hands even though he’s trying hard not to take advantage of the situation as pulls Jared into the bathroom. There’s no need for anyone to gawk at Jared as he comes out of what Jensen suspects is a faint.
Lowering Jared to the tile he winces as he tries to remember the last time the floor was cleaned. He kneels down and pulls Jared’s head into his lap.
Pale skin with dark eyebrows and even darker eyelashes and pink lips. He wants to see the hazel eyes, hidden behind long, silky eyelashes, flirting with him. And those lips…a tongue moistening the pink perfection and inviting a kiss.
Instead Jensen notes how Jared’s breathing is quick and reckless. Jensen reaches over and unfastens a couple of buttons on Jared’s shirt, effectively loosening his collar. There’s a glimpse of sweat drenched tantalising skin underneath and Jensen can’t resist the urge to reach up and brush some of Jared’s coffee coloured hair away from his forehead. Jared’s eyelids start to flutter and Jensen leans over, pats Jared’s cheek gently.
Panicked hazel eyes shoot open. Jensen instantly yanks his hand away like he’s been burned as Jared sits bolt upright. “Hey, take it easy. You had a bad fall back there.”
“I...I did?”
“Damn straight.” Jensen gives Jared a quick visual once over.
“I-I fainted?” Jared’s stutters. His eyes are already roaming, staring at but not seeing the floor, the cracked mirror which hangs lopsided over the sink, a space on the wall where someone has scrawled a crude cartoon picture of a penis with a smiling face. Every inch of the tiny airless room but not at Jensen.
“You want a glass of water or something?” Jensen asks uneasily. When Jared doesn’t answer, he adds, “chocolate shake maybe or a cheeseburger with some of those great house fries?”
“How’d you...”
“Come on man, I’m good at my job. I know what all our regulars order. Mrs Peterson loves pancakes but she always has to have a different flavored syrup each time, it’s like she’ll have a heart attack or something if she gets maple syrup two days in a row....Yeah, I know, disastrous, right? At least you’re consistent.”
Jared laughs, it’s a quiet laugh and a touch tentative but genuine. He finally lets his eyes rest on Jensen and mentally notes the fact that Jensen looks fantastic today even though he’s wearing the same over-starched white v-shaped polo neck t-shirt and black slacks he’s duty-bound to wear whenever he’s working a shift. There are grease splatters on Jensen’s uniform and he smells faintly of onion rings and burger relish but Jared’s never seem anyone quite so beautiful in his entire life.
Jared tries not to stare at Jensen’s eyes. He’s never been close enough to see them this clearly before, they’re so green he feels like he could dive right in and swim in paradise for awhile. He’s close enough that he can even feel the soft lub lub of Jensen’s heart beating. Jared doesn’t like to let people get close to him, he can barely stand the feel of someone else touching his skin but this, this doesn’t scare him.
The usual paralysing terror isn’t present...until he glances down.
Because it’s exactly then that Jared notices his shirt is gaping open at the neck. He’s wearing a t-shirt underneath his shirt and Jensen doesn’t look like he might possess Superman style x-ray vision but Jared still feels like his scars are on full display and the thought of that makes him feel suddenly sick and light-headed again. He reaches up and pulls his shirt closed, starts struggling to get up off the floor.
Jensen loosens his grip on Jared’s forearms as Jared pulls himself to his feet. Taking a few wobbly steps, Jared puts a hand out and leans against the wall. Hot sweaty palm pressing onto cold sticky tile.
Jensen’s giving him an odd look. It’s the look, the ones Jared’s parents used when they visited him in the hospital, the one his sister and brother had stuck frozen on their faces as they sat by his bed waiting for him to finish giving a detailed account of his attack to a stony-faced Sheriff’s Department Deputy. It’s pity. Jared knows that look as plain as day and it’s on Jensen’s face right now. Jared swallows. His chest aches, a dull throbbing which is a ghostly-echo of the ice cold pain he felt when the blade sliced into his skin and he knows he’s going to be sick if he doesn’t get the hell out of there.
He doesn’t remember leaving the diner, the only thing he does know is that Jensen called his name as he ran down the sidewalk.
He doesn’t stop running until he’s back in his dorm room.
-0-
Part Two.
Authors: blueeyedliz ,heatherofnight & scarlettraven9
Summary: Jared was trying to escape the past by going away to college. With the help of his friend Chad and a hot waiter named Jensen, he might just be able to live again.
Word Count: 3,098 (this part)
Rating: NC/17 - bad language and violent scenes including implied non-con (although the violence is part of a back-story and only made referance to.)
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Disclaimer: None of us own Jared or Jensen or any of the recognizable names used and no disrespect is intended. We just like to play, a lot.
He wears his hair long with thick brown strands hanging down to frame his face. He looks like an artist. Someone who probably adores Rimbaud and Édith Piaf and writes lengthy poems about death and lost love. Jensen doesn’t know the kid’s name so in his head he calls him Sebastian. The kid looks like a Sebastian.
Jensen’s wiping down tables and watching Sebastian scribble in a notepad, every now and then putting down his pen to suck up a mouthful of chocolate shake through a straw.
Jensen wants to be that straw.
Sebastian’s been coming to Mo’s Diner for weeks now and so far, all Jensen has said to him is three different variations of “are you ready to order yet?”
Sometimes he’ll say “Hi there, can I take your order?” One time, he actually said, “So, what’ll it be?” flashed a pretty smile and prayed that Sebastian would reply “You.” Of course Jensen’s prayers went unanswered, as per usual.
Sebastian nearly always orders a chocolate shake, fries and a bacon-double cheese burger. By rights Sebastian should be six-hundred pounds with a gut the size of New Jersey but he’s not. He’s tall-easily the tallest guy Jensen has ever seen-and lean. Probably muscular too but his heavy black coat never comes off, and Jensen has already wasted too many of his lunch-breaks contemplating the wonders hidden from view underneath.
Jensen had never considered himself a Sherlock Holmes wannabe-more like Magnum, without the porn-star moustache thank you very much-but he’s still tempted to do some investigative work to try and find out more about the strangely enigmatic Sebastian. Like what classes Sebastian is taking, and what the heck is his real name anyway?
Patty wanders out of the back kitchen clutching her order pad. She’s chewing on the end of her pencil but removes it from her mouth to give Jensen her ‘Patty special’ big-teeth smile when she notices that he’s lost in thought and staring at Sebastian again. She sidles over and bumps Jensen’s leg with her hip. “Jensen, you look like someone just ran over your cat. You’ve got to stop moping over him. He’s either straight or taken - the cute ones always are.”
Patty is forty-five and has been working as a waitress since she was eighteen. Jensen doesn’t want to rain on Patty’s parade but Patty depresses the crap out of him.
Jensen works at Mo’s for the money, earning a little extra cash to try and supplement his paltry college fund. The money isn’t great (in fact, it’s close to diabolical) but it beats being broke.
Mo is affectionately called Little Mo, but never to his face seeing as none of his employees want to piss off a 6-foot guy with fists the size of anvils. Apart from Mo, who stays in the kitchen where he can’t scare the patrons, there’s cheerful waitress Patty, Jensen - who takes orders and buses tables, Sandy who waitresses the night-shift and Igor, who washes dishes...okay, so his name isn’t Igor but he’s a Russian-exchange student, nobody could pronounce his real name and Igor seemed to fit so the poor guy ended up stuck with it. He doesn’t seem to speak much English but does like to swear a lot, in Russian.
Like most days, Chris rolls in at around nine am for his usual morning caffeine hit, walks right over to where Jensen is refilling some salt shakers and shouts “Mornin’ sweetheart” so ridiculously loud and directly into Jensen’s ear that Jensen knocks a good half dozen of the salt shakers onto the floor with his flailing arms.
“You are an asshole.” Jensen states, disappearing to fetch a broom.
“You’ll not be saying that when you hear what I’ve found out.”
“Spill it.”
“Well turns out Danneel bumped into tall, dark and hunky the other day as he was coming out of McCredie’s Office.” Chris says with a secretive grin as he nods in Sebastian’s direction. “He had his head down and wasn’t looking where he was going. He literally came charging out the door and knocked Danneel off her feet. Anyway, he gets all flappy, starts picking up her books and apologising and...”
“And?” Jensen presses, prodding Chris in the arm.
“It turns out his name is Jared.” Chris grins waggling his eyebrows.
“Jared.” Jensen smiles broadly, rolling the name off his tongue and instantly liking the way it sounds coming from his mouth. “Jare, Jay, Jaredddd.” In his mind’s eye he can see their names ‘Jared and Jensen’ with the Js intertwined together, it’s so perfect it sounds like a love song. The love song of Jared and Jensen...maybe Tim McGraw could sing it. “Jared.” Jensen repeats again happily, with a longing smile which vanishes the moment he hears a soft voice behind him.
“Yeah?”
Jensen turns around, painfully slow-eyes wide and sweat quickly beading on his forehead-Sebastian, shit no, Jared, is standing halfway out the door obviously in the process of just leaving when he must have overheard Jensen say his name. Jensen fakes what he hopes looks like a genuine smile; “have a good d-day?” he stutters nervously and adds a little wave, which is unquestionably the lamest most dorky thing he’s ever done.
Jared purses his lips, his eyes dart down to study Jensen’s name tag. “You too erm, Jensen.” He turns then and pushes the door fully open, slipping outside.
“What the hell was that?” Chris asks in mock horror and Jensen turns to see Chris doing an exaggerated impersonation of his wave.
“Oh my God, I suck.” Jensen groans putting a hand over his eyes.
Chris grins. “I’m glad you’ve said it first because as your friend I thought it was going to be down to me to break the news to you.”
“Did you say Danneel saw him coming out of McCredie’s office? As in McCredie the Guidance Counsellor?” Jensen asks, eyes staring out the window at Jared who’s popping the collar on his coat and ducking his head as he walks, trying to get some shelter from the rain shower which is currently hammering down.
“Yep.” Chris nods watching Jensen watching Jared disappear down the street. “Tall, dark, hunky and brooding apparently.”
-0-
Jared makes it back to his dorm room, heart still pounding. He hopes that his room mate and childhood friend, Chad, won’t be in. It would be nice to have a moment to collect himself before his midmorning class.
Luck is not on his side.
“Hey buddy, how was breakfast? Did you actually get the nerve up to say hello to lover boy?” Chad smirks at him from his bed. The young man is putting his socks and shoes on.
Jared sighs. “He knows my name. But I’m not sure how?”
“That’s great Jared. It means he likes you enough to find out a bit about you. So did you talk to him?”
Jared stares at his feet, wishing that he could say yes to that question.
“Jared, you’ve got to start living again. I know it’s been a rough year, but dude, you deserve to have some happiness.” Chad is giving him a sympathetic smile.
It has been a rough year, and Jared’s glad that his childhood friend had been there for him.
Coming out in the small town he lived in had been hard. Chad had been his only true support.
Jared had chosen to come out in May right before his graduation from High School. It had been a difficult decision but Jared had been tired of living a lie. By waiting until right before graduation, he figured that if things didn’t go well, at least he would be leaving soon for college.
The news had left his parents in shock. They told him that they loved him, but he could tell that they were worried about his future. Small town Texas wasn’t always accepting of people being different and they were concerned for him.
It turned out that they had reason too. A week after graduation Jared was walking home after spending the evening watching movies with Chad when he was jumped from behind by a group of males.
It happened so fast, and the cowards that attacked him had worn masks. He was called a fucking faggot, and beaten badly. He was hurting, but it wasn’t until they had pulled a knife that he had feared for his life.
Jared could remember their hands stripping him naked. Holding him down as the leader of the group placed himself between his legs. There was so much pain as each of the members of the group took their turn with him. But it wasn’t until he saw the knife that he had feared for his life.
Jared is brought out of his pondering by Chad’s voice. “Earth to Jared.”
“Sorry.” Jared gives Chad a small smile.
“It’s okay. I know you have a lot to work through. I get that. Deciding to come to college was a big step for you, and I’m sorry if I’m being pushy. I just want you to be happy.” Chad stands and gives Jared’s shoulder a quick squeeze, as he passes. “Dude, I’m going to be late, but we’ll chat later.”
Jared nods. “Sure, and Chad, thanks.”
Chad winks as he grabs his back pack and opens the door. “No worries Jared, we’ll talk later dude.”
The door shuts and Jared plops down on top of his bed. He knows he needs to get it together before he heads to class.
College has been a big step. After the attack, Jared had been afraid to be alone. It had been Chad promising that he would be there to lean on that had allowed Jared to even contemplate going to college.
Jared has a great counselor at the school and an off site psychologist, Dr. Morgan. Between the three of them, he has been able to function on at least a basic level at college.
Classes and studying have never been hard, and he finds comfort in the routine of school. It’s the social aspect that scares him. Still scares him, so his social life is non existent. Chad is it.
Well, Chad and Jensen. Jensen had caught his eye the first time he visited Mo’s Diner. His kind eyes, and easy going nature had been an immediate draw for Jared.
The problem is, Jared is sure that Jensen wouldn’t want damaged goods. And that is what Jared is.
The assault has left Jared with many mental scars, and he is working through those. But the physical scars that came from the attack will never go away.
The word Faggot that was carved in his chest has faded over time, but Jared can still see it clearly every time he looks in a mirror, and it is a permanent reminder of his nightmare. How would he ever be able to have a relationship with anyone with the horrible scars he had?
Jensen is perfect and Jared knows that he would never be good enough for such perfection. With a heavy sigh Jared gets up and freshens up for class.
School is his life now, and he knows he needs to focus on that and not his fantasy partner.
-0-
Jared wasn’t sure he was ready to go back to Mo’s but conquering his fear was something Dr. Morgan had been working on with him so he thought he’d give it a shot. Worse case scenario, he’d get the food to go. Change it up a little. That was putting a new spin on it instead of cowering like he really wanted to do.
But Jensen works there and apparently there is a lot Jared will brave just to look at the guy…freckles spattering across a cute nose, lively green eyes and spiky light brown hair. And the body. Yeah, the body. Jensen definitely takes care of himself.
Not that Jared would ever find out. At the rate he was going, he wouldn’t even make it inside before the place closes.
A group of about five or six guys exit Mo’s just as Jared approaches the door. No one says anything to him, at least he doesn’t think they do, but his heart is pumping so loudly in his ears he isn’t sure. Someone brushes up against him and Jared wants to freak right there.
Instead he makes himself enter the diner. He’s about to sit at his usual booth when the nausea hits and he stumbles toward the bathroom, praying no one is in there.
A hand lands on his shoulder and someone whispers something in his ear and Jared finds himself sliding inexorably toward darkness.
-0-
Jensen’s heart picks up its pace as he glimpses Jared outside the large window as he approaches the door. The group of assholes who hassled Patty are leaving, Thank God, which means it shouldn’t be too loud. Just in case Jared wants to talk.
The tall handsome kid-because really, he couldn’t even pull off 21 if he grew a beard-sidles into Mo’s and he looks fragile.
Fragile. Not exactly a word Jensen would apply to someone who easily tops six feet.
Jared hovers at his booth for just a moment and then eyes darting wildly, he moves unsteadily for the bathroom. There he pauses as if with indecision.
Jensen has always had a weakness for creatures in need and the one he’s set his sights on is a prime example. He coasts from behind the counter and puts a hand on Jared’s shoulder. “Hey, you okay? You’re looking a little pale.”
Before he even knows what’s happening, the body before his folds and crashes into Jensen’s arms.
He was right. He can feel the muscles beneath his hands even though he’s trying hard not to take advantage of the situation as pulls Jared into the bathroom. There’s no need for anyone to gawk at Jared as he comes out of what Jensen suspects is a faint.
Lowering Jared to the tile he winces as he tries to remember the last time the floor was cleaned. He kneels down and pulls Jared’s head into his lap.
Pale skin with dark eyebrows and even darker eyelashes and pink lips. He wants to see the hazel eyes, hidden behind long, silky eyelashes, flirting with him. And those lips…a tongue moistening the pink perfection and inviting a kiss.
Instead Jensen notes how Jared’s breathing is quick and reckless. Jensen reaches over and unfastens a couple of buttons on Jared’s shirt, effectively loosening his collar. There’s a glimpse of sweat drenched tantalising skin underneath and Jensen can’t resist the urge to reach up and brush some of Jared’s coffee coloured hair away from his forehead. Jared’s eyelids start to flutter and Jensen leans over, pats Jared’s cheek gently.
Panicked hazel eyes shoot open. Jensen instantly yanks his hand away like he’s been burned as Jared sits bolt upright. “Hey, take it easy. You had a bad fall back there.”
“I...I did?”
“Damn straight.” Jensen gives Jared a quick visual once over.
“I-I fainted?” Jared’s stutters. His eyes are already roaming, staring at but not seeing the floor, the cracked mirror which hangs lopsided over the sink, a space on the wall where someone has scrawled a crude cartoon picture of a penis with a smiling face. Every inch of the tiny airless room but not at Jensen.
“You want a glass of water or something?” Jensen asks uneasily. When Jared doesn’t answer, he adds, “chocolate shake maybe or a cheeseburger with some of those great house fries?”
“How’d you...”
“Come on man, I’m good at my job. I know what all our regulars order. Mrs Peterson loves pancakes but she always has to have a different flavored syrup each time, it’s like she’ll have a heart attack or something if she gets maple syrup two days in a row....Yeah, I know, disastrous, right? At least you’re consistent.”
Jared laughs, it’s a quiet laugh and a touch tentative but genuine. He finally lets his eyes rest on Jensen and mentally notes the fact that Jensen looks fantastic today even though he’s wearing the same over-starched white v-shaped polo neck t-shirt and black slacks he’s duty-bound to wear whenever he’s working a shift. There are grease splatters on Jensen’s uniform and he smells faintly of onion rings and burger relish but Jared’s never seem anyone quite so beautiful in his entire life.
Jared tries not to stare at Jensen’s eyes. He’s never been close enough to see them this clearly before, they’re so green he feels like he could dive right in and swim in paradise for awhile. He’s close enough that he can even feel the soft lub lub of Jensen’s heart beating. Jared doesn’t like to let people get close to him, he can barely stand the feel of someone else touching his skin but this, this doesn’t scare him.
The usual paralysing terror isn’t present...until he glances down.
Because it’s exactly then that Jared notices his shirt is gaping open at the neck. He’s wearing a t-shirt underneath his shirt and Jensen doesn’t look like he might possess Superman style x-ray vision but Jared still feels like his scars are on full display and the thought of that makes him feel suddenly sick and light-headed again. He reaches up and pulls his shirt closed, starts struggling to get up off the floor.
Jensen loosens his grip on Jared’s forearms as Jared pulls himself to his feet. Taking a few wobbly steps, Jared puts a hand out and leans against the wall. Hot sweaty palm pressing onto cold sticky tile.
Jensen’s giving him an odd look. It’s the look, the ones Jared’s parents used when they visited him in the hospital, the one his sister and brother had stuck frozen on their faces as they sat by his bed waiting for him to finish giving a detailed account of his attack to a stony-faced Sheriff’s Department Deputy. It’s pity. Jared knows that look as plain as day and it’s on Jensen’s face right now. Jared swallows. His chest aches, a dull throbbing which is a ghostly-echo of the ice cold pain he felt when the blade sliced into his skin and he knows he’s going to be sick if he doesn’t get the hell out of there.
He doesn’t remember leaving the diner, the only thing he does know is that Jensen called his name as he ran down the sidewalk.
He doesn’t stop running until he’s back in his dorm room.
-0-
Part Two.