April.4th log : Hikari's birthday.
Hikari signed happily after responding to everyone's birthday wishes for her. She smiled. It was so nice having such good friends. Scanning her live journal's friend page, she came across Ken's entry.
Glancing at her phone, she wondered if now would be a good time to call him. After all, he had offered a couple of times and she had a feeling that talking to him would cheer her up greatly. He just had that calming way about him...
Dialing his number, she brought the phone to her ear and waited patiently for Ken to answer.
Walking down the street, Ken stared at the cell phone. He had suspicion the night before, but calling Ryo san during the day had just confirmed it. Ken tightened his grip on the device. There was definitely something going on.
Then he felt vibration traveling up to his arms. He looked at the screen, and checked the caller. Ken’s face brightened, and he answered cheerfully.
“Hello Birthday girl.”
"Hey there, Ken," Hikari laughed. "And thank you. How are you?" She leant back in her desk chair, switching off her computer monitor.
“I’m doing alright.” Ken smiled. “It’s a beautiful day out, so what are you doing cooped up inside?”
"Ah, just responding to some e-mails and such on the computer. Nothing out of the ordinary, really," She shrugged.
“Well, but I’m glad you’re home.” Ken chuckled. “I’m actually in Odaiba right now.” He notified as he swung gift bag he was holding.
"Really?" Hikari asked excitedly. "What are you doing over here?"
“Nothing much. Let’s just say I let myself get kidnapped by a rock star, and his sexy car.” Deciding he’d not say anything that’ll worry his friend, Ken commented playfully. He then stopped, and setting a foot inside the apartment complex. He looked at the doorbell plate cheerfully, before he gave it a push.
"Oh boy," Hikari giggled. "Hopefully that story doesn't end up in the tabloids...wouldn't look too good on Yamato-san's part." Hearing the buzzer, she stood up. "Oh, shoot, there's someone coming up," she said as she made her way to the front hallway. "I wonder who it is, we weren't expecting anyone," she mused as she pressed the button to let them in.
“Well, we all know he isn’t anything like Michael Jackson, and I think I was older than twelve the last I checked.” Ken chuckled as he entered. “You sure Taichi san didn’t order a pizza? Or perhaps someone has ordered flowers for you?” Ken shook his head as he closed the buzzed door. She ought to be a little more cautious.
"I...I don't think so. Onii-chan's not home, so that's a negative," she paused, thinking. "Maybe the latter, but that's probably just wishful thinking, even if it is my birthday."
“Well you never know.” Ken grinned, as he worked his way up the stairs.
"Maybe..." Hikari leant against the wall by the front door, awaiting for who ever it was to appear. "It's probably one of Onii-chan's friends or something."
Supporting the phone with his shoulder, Ken tied his hair back, and put on the cap. If he’s mentioned the delivery boy, might as well look the part. Disguise was surprisingly useful after all. “Do they do this often?” He grinned, as he saw the door leading to Hikari’s.
"Once in a while," Hikari said, playing with a strand of hair. "Not a lot, but it's just because I'm not expecting anyone that I assume it's one of them, I guess."
“Aw, don’t say that. I’m sure Daisuke would visit, at least….Not that he’d need to ring the door.” He held in a chuckle as he knocked on the door.
"He said he's planning on dropping by at midnight sometime soon...and to be honest, I don't put it past him." She laughed. Hearing a knock at the door, she sprang up from her spot on the wall. "Oh, they've arrived! Let's see who this mystery person is." Swinging open the door, she saw a figure standing there with a cap on. "Konnichiwa. Umm...?" She tilted her head to the side. "It appears to be a delivery guy..." she whispered into the phone.
“Told you so. Ah, I’ll be right back.” Ken spoke into the phone making sure to put it in a angle that it wouldn’t be visible. It was really hard, He gotta admit. Supposed to be the delivery boy, Ken just knocked.
"Ah, yes, I have a delivery for Yagami Hikari san?" Ken started, bringing up flowers to his face so that his face won't be visible.
Hikari's eyebrows shot up, surprised. "Oh, that's me. Thank you," she said, reaching out a hand to accept the flowers. "Ken was right..." she muttered to herself.
“Told ya so.” Ken grinned, pushing the bouquet of daisies and tulips into Hikari’s arms. “Happy birthday!” He grinned, looking into Hikari’s face for a reaction.
Hikari felt her jaw drop. "K-Ken?" She exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" She broke out into a grin. "That was you the whole time? Why didn't you say anything?"
Ken took his cap off and shook it back and forth. “And miss out on seeing your expression? I don’t think so.” He chuckled. “So, are you going to let this poor delivery boy in? He’s been through thick and thin just to get here.” He smiled. “After all, breaking free from rock star’s sacred den isn’t an easy job for any twelve year old boys.”
Laughing, Hikari nodded, stepping aside for him to enter. "Of course! Especially after all the trouble you went through!"
“Thanks. I appreciate it. Man those fangirls would’ve had a fit if the saw me walking out of his hotel. Can’t you just imagine tomorrow’s headlines?” Still joking, Ken invited himself in.
“So, how are you?” The blue haired boy flashed a cute smile.
"I'm good," Hikari said, grinning. "Better now that a friend's here, actually."
"I'm glad to hear that." Ken took off his shoes and entered. "So... any particular reason for earlier call?" Pressing the cell phone button off, Ken seated himself down on the sofa.
Flipping her own phone shut, Hikari took a seat next to him on the couch. "Oh, you know...you offered to let me call and I just...figured you'd be good to talk to. And I wanted to thank you for the text message. It made me smile."
Ken nodded. “No problem. Anything specific topic you wanted to talk about?” Feeling the last statement had been a little stiff, Ken quickly corrected himself. “I mean, thanks for calling me. I was wondering how you were doing lately, since it’s already been two weeks the last I saw you.”
"Well...um," Hikari took a deep breath. There was no use in beating around the bush, it would only be frustrating. "Takeru and I got into an argument on Saturday."
Ken nodded, silently urging his friend to continue.
"And I guess...it just got me thinking," she said softly. "Thinking about how he already moved on a long time ago...and I don't know if I have."
Ken’s heart skipped a beat upon hearing the word. Sadly, he too knew this pain all too well. Though it wasn't entirely comfortable hearing that his friend is suffering the same issue, came a big sympathy and he couldn't help but looking concerned. He reached for one of her hand, and grabbed it tentatively. "Go on." He urged.
Hikari flushed, holding Ken's hand a little tighter, which made her feel calmer, somehow. "Just...since we broke up, he's been with Yuki and now, with Catherine. And just hearing that news made me...it just made my stomach sink. I hate it...and I just wonder; what was wrong with me?"
Ken smiled knowingly. “I know what you mean.” He sighed. “I…don’t think anything’s wrong with you though.”
"There has to be. I'm too busy, I don't have time for a ton of things, especially back then. I was still dancing then," She sighed. "He can be with Catherine so easily, which is no wonder, because she is so sweet and beautiful and I guess...I just, I don't know."
Ken silently shook his head. Instead of saying anything, he gently lifted one of the two hands that held her hand, and cupped her face. “You’re beautiful.” He stated.
“Not just the face value, you’re one of the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life, both inside and out. Catherine san is sweet, but that doesn’t compare. After all, you’re Hikari.”
The light flush across Hikari's cheeks turned from pink to scarlet. She hadn't been expecting that and oddly enough, she could have sworn her heart skipped a little beat at his touch. Ken was so sweet... "T-thank you, very much, Ken. No one's ever really said anything to me like that before."
Ken shook his head. “I'm only stating the truth. "Looking at her face he smiled. "There are things in life that should be said more often, and this is certainly one." He ruffled Hikari's hair.
Hikari blushed again in response. "I'm going to go put these flowers in water!" she said abruptly, standing up. 'Excuse me for a second!" And she made a hasty exit to the kitchen.
Ken watched Hikari going away to kitchen, can't help but feeling like, perhaps he's made a mistake? Maybe I shouldn't have said anything and let her talk some more... Ken couldn't help but feel for his friend. The emotional turmoil and the stress she would've felt, and the tears she would've cried... Just thought of the feeling made him feel blue. He sighed and sank into the sofa.
In the kitchen, Hikari grabbed the nearest vase and filled it with water, placing the flowers inside. She leant against the counter, taking a deep breath, fanning her face. Her face felt hot and she just wanted to calm down. Too many thoughts were running through her head and she couldn't make sense of any of them. Composing herself, she picked up the vase and walked back into the living room. Placing the flowers down on the coffee table, she smiled. "Thank you, Ken."
Ken's face brightened up at seeing his friend smile. "No problem." He brought a hand to his chin, a small frown forming on his face. "I... didn't interrupt your talking have I? If you'd like to talk about it some more, I'd love to lend you my ears." Or shoulders for that matter. He thought to himself. It was important to let your emotions free once in awhile, and knowing Hikari, too caring and kind, it would be understandable even if she kept it all to herself to not concern others.
"No, you didn't interrupt!" Hikari smiled. "I just...I wish I knew what he was thinking, that's all. It seems these past few months, we've been on different wavelengths. Things don't feel like they used to."
"Like...how?" Ken asked.
"I don't know," Hikari admitted. "I'm just rambling...half of what I'm saying probably doesn't make any sense."
Ken shook his head. “Try me.” He smiled. “If you don’t make sense I’ll help you make sense into it how’s that? Letting your emotions out, once in a while is healthy”
Hikari laughed. "That what he said, right before we got in a huge fight. He just keeps saying sorry, over and over again, and I never exactly know why. Is he sorry for something he said? Because we broke up? And every time I ask what for, he just says everything."
"So...this is about Takeru." Ken observed.
Hikari blinked and looked down. "Y-yeah..." She trailed off.
Ken brought a hand to his chin and thought for a second. Anything romantic was a delicate issue, but it looked like it was exactly what was going on at the moment… As Hikari looked increasingly uncomfortable, Ken reached and patted her shoulder. “It’s okay. If it’s not too much trouble, would you be able tell me on how you feel, and why it’s so difficult?” He leaned into Hikari and pushed her hair out of her face. Gently bringing her head up to face him, Ken nodded. “Go on.”
Feeling comforted at Ken's touch, Hikari smiled. "I just feel like, maybe...I cared about Takeru way more than he did for me. But maybe that's just being dramatic..."
Ken nodded. "Dramatic, or not, go on."
He held Hikari's hand, and gave it a light squeeze.
"It's just..." Hikari continued. "We got together right after everything happened with Tony, which I didn't even know about until after we broke up. I feel like I was some replacement...while he healed."
"Tony?" Ken raised his eyebrows. "Who is that?" Surprised, he raised voice. Oh shoot He also thought to himself, immediately.
Ken didn't know about Tony? Hikari felt panicked. She could have sworn that Ken knew..."Um, Tony was just, you know. Someone." Hikari swallowed. "Can we talk about something else?"
He sighed. "I don't mean to pry, if you feel really uncomfortable talking about it, it's alright for you to not share. However," He looked at Hikari in the eyes. "I... don't want you to bottle up feelings and stay hurt."
Hikari shook her head. "You're not prying, really. I just find it hard to discuss these things...to me it's easier to keep them bottled up." She sighed. "And all this happened in about late August, early September, I guess. But I didn't know it at the time..."
Ken nodded. "It's daunting. Isn't it." He sighed as he withdrew his hand from Hikari's. "It's so much easier to not say anything, especially because you're concerned about how others would react. Whether they'd worry or form an opinion of their own." He looked away. "I know... I do the exactly the same thing." Looking at Hikari sadly, he smiled.
Giving a slight smile, Hikari stared back, recalling that time in the Digital World when they had gotten separated from everyone else along with Miyako and how frustrated her friend had gotten with the two of them. "I guess we have that in common."
Ken just nodded in agreement. He stared at his hand for a second, as he reflected on his own words. "It's better to let it out." But is it really? Recalling how Daisuke had perceived the last time they had the talk, Ken closed his eyes shut. However, something in his head, told him that it would be different, if he had shared with Hikari.
Hikari glanced at her friend. "Is everything okay?" She asked, with a tilt of her head.
Ken shook his head. "Yeah I'm alright." He grinned. "Just thinking." Ken added on, as the grin transformed into a smile. "But, why don't we take a break from the heavy talk for a second?" He held his index finger over his mouth and winked. "I have something else for you."
Hikari nodded and smiled. A break from the heavy talk sounded great. "You didn't have to get me anything, Ken..."
Ken chuckled. “Naah. It wasn’t much anyways. Plus, it’s your birthday!”
"Even still!"
“Let’s just say I’m just sowing to leap on my birthday.” He then tilted his head. “Or better yet, Christmas is coming up.” He grinned.
"Ken," Hikari giggled. "That's months and months away!"
He nodded. "Of course. That's the only way people would actually forgot about it." He winked, and handed her a pink square package.
Accepting the package, Hikari carefully pealed back the wrapping paper, revealing a photo album and two hairpins. She broke out into a grin. "Thank you, Ken," she said happily, looking up at him. "You certainly knew exactly what I like!"
He smiled. "I hoped to get you something you'd actually use."
"Well, I can guarantee that I will!" She flipped through the pages of the photo album. "I need a new one of these! All my pictures are just floating around the apartment."
"Awesome." Ken grinned. "Should we do a search and fill it in?"
Hikari smiled brightly. "That would be great! I could really use the help!"
Two hours have gone flying by as the teens scrounged for various pictures. Placing them neatly into the new album, the blue haired boy listened eagerly to his friend, passionately unfolding tales after tales, relating to the images. Ken was impressed, both at the display of talent and the passion the brunette had exerted in this conversation.
The little red photo album was filled front and back. Looking at the fat book, Ken grinned. "Perhaps I should get you another one."
Hikari laughed. "Keep that in mind for Christmas, then," she smiled. "Thank you so much though, not only for the album, but for helping me. That would have taken me much longer on my own."
"Hnn. you sure you can do without photo albums until Christmas? I get the feeling you might need at least 5 by then." Ken flashed his white teeth. "No problem. I had a great time listening to your explanations. Plus, I feasted my eyes on beautiful compositions." He smiled. "Being more of an athlete slash techy, the only fill on art I get daily is the wall paper on my desktop."
"Well, that counts for something!" Hikari giggled again. "I like capturing that moment in time, because once e you blink; it's gone. The pictures are a way to hold onto them, just through your perspective."
Ken smiled. "Indeed. It's amazing how every picture turn out different, though some may think it'll be the same since it's not hand drawn."
He eyed the clock. "Hnn.. your parents are late aren’t they?"
Hikari nodded. "It is getting kind of late..." she said, glancing at the clock. "I should probably just give them a quick call...make sure everything's alright."
Ken nodded in agreement.
Picking up the phone on the hall table, Hikari quickly dialled her mother's cell phone number and waited for her to answer. A moment later, her mother's frantic voice came on the other line.
"Hikari? Oh, I'm so sorry!" Her mother wailed. "Your father and I were picking you up a special cake and it's still not finished! And they seem to be taking an awfully long time!" Her voice got louder near the end, and Hikari winced, imaging her mother yelling at the poor, over worked baker.
"It's okay, Kaa-san!" Hikari insisted. "Ken stopped by, so I've had company."
Her mother paused. "Ichijouji Ken? He's such a sweet boy! You know, Hikari, if you and he were to--"
"Okay, Kaa-san, just wanted to make sure everything was okay!" Hikari cut her mother off, knowing where this conversation was probably going. "Bye, love you!" She said quickly, before hanging up the phone and taking a deep breath. She looked over at Ken and smiled. "I think they're going to be a little while longer.
Ken frowned. It was unlikely for Hikari's parents to leave her alone for the night on her birthday. Well, it was same for his birthday too, but his parents had dire reasons... Raising a brow, he asked. "Hnn. That's strange. Why are they late?"
"In between screaming at the baker, Kaa-san said that they're picking up a cake that's taking longer than expected to be prepared," Hikari explained.
Ken winced. "She isn't requesting that they make her special recipe is she."
Hikari nodded. "I wouldn't expect anything less from my mother."
The blue haired shuddered, and looked at his friend sympathetically. He eyed the clock's hand ticking, and got up from sofa, having decided his mind. He turned around. "Would your mom hate me forever if I stole you away for another hour or two?"
"No, I think that'd be okay," Hikari said, smiling. She'd probably be delighted... She though, thinking back to her conversation with her mother, and what she was beginning to imply.
Ken's face brightened. "Good. Let's go grab something to eat then." He suggested, grabbing his coat. "You'll need it to stomach what's to come."
"That sounds like a good idea," Hikari agreed, laughing. "Let me just grab my keys and purse." She dashed into her room quickly and retrieved the items, before meeting Ken back in the hallway and grabbing her own coat.
"Any preferred type of food?" Ken grinned, as he held the door open for the birthday girl.
Stepping out the door and locking it behind her, Hikari shrugged. "Just ramen would be fine," She smiled. "It's been a while since I've had it."
"Should we go fetch Daisuke?" Ken tilted his head at that response. After all, who else loved raman and Hikari chan more than the Motomiya boy?
"Sure!! I haven't spent time with Daisuke in ages!" Hikari said excitedly.
Ken grinned. Daisuke, you’d better be home. I just set you up. After all, I could pull out half way mentioning the bus ride back home. “Well, go ahead and make the phone call.” Ken smiled.
Hikari nodded and pulled her cell phone out of her purse. Finding Daisuke's number in her phone book, she dialled it and waited. It didn't ring, but isn't beeped, signalling that the line was busy. She sighed, slightly disappointed.
"It's busy...someone must be on the line."
Ken sweat-dropped.Daisuke, you baka…. mentally slapping his head, Ken started. “Should we go knock on his door? I have a feeling it might be his sister.”
"I don't know..." Hikari said, glancing down the hallway that leads to Daisuke's apartment. "It is a little late, and if he's on the phone, I don't want to disturb him..."
Buddy, you're the most unlucky. Ken thought to himself as he nodded. "Well, if you feel uncomfortable, I don't mind being the one "disturbing" them." He grinned. "After all, it's been forever since I've seen Daisuke too."
"But..." Hikari trailed off, different scenarios running through her mind. "He's probably already had dinner...we should have called him earlier. "
Ken nodded. Sadly, his friend right here was a logical one. Sorry Daisuke. I tried.
"Alright, so, take me to the best ramen shop in Odaiba." Ken grinned.
"Alright!" Hikari said cheerfully. "Onii-chan and I go there all the time! Just follow me!" She hooked her arm through his and began to lead the way.
Ken blushed at his friend’s bold action, but didn’t say anything this time. Instead, he just let himself be pulled, as she led the way. Somehow, the whole atmosphere reminded himself of the time he’s spent with Miyako, on those rare visits to Odaiba just about a year ago. As the shadow of his first love overlapped with his friend’s back, he felt his chest hurt.
He missed her.
Hikari glanced at Ken. He had gotten that weird expression on his face again. "You okay?" she asked quietly, as they made their way outside.
Ken smiled awkwardly. It was rude to think of other when he was accompanying a friend, on her birthday. “No, nothing….” He gazed at the sky, his eyes gentle. The night breeze blew, and the fresh scent of spring was everywhere. As he smiled at his friend, Ken decided for himself, that he’ll take his own advice, and share with the girl.
Letting out, once in a while…is okay. He concluded.
"You sure?" she prodded. If Ken was anything like her, nothing meant something.
Ken nodded, smiling. "Why don't we talk about it after we've eaten?"
Smiling back, Hikari nodded. "Sure thing."
Close to an hour later, the pair had finished their impromptu dinner and were walking through the park. The spring air was fresh and the sakura trees in full bloom. Hikari sighed happily. This had been a good birthday, she decided. "Maybe we should find somewhere to sit?" Hikari suggested. She poked Ken in the arm. "We still have to talk."
Ken smiled. “Darn, and I was hoping you’d be too distracted with ramen goodness to remember that.” He then poked Hikari on the forehead. “But you’re too smart for that aren’t you.” He grinned playfully. As Hikari let out a laughter, Ken looked around, and found a wooden bench. The white paint glistened underneath the moonlight, and the scattering blossoms looked like diamond dust. “Why don’t we go take a seat there?” He pointed.
"That looks lovely," she smiled and made her way over to the bench. Taking a seat next to him, she poked him in the arm again. "Now what's on your mind? I spilled my guts, so it's your turn now."
Ken shook his head. “Hai hai your highness. Though, you technically didn’t finish either.” He grinned raising a finger.
Hikari frowned. Drat, he was right. "Well, I'll finish once you tell me! How's that for a deal?"
“Deal” Ken grinned, raising a thumb up.
After a moment of silence, Ken took in a deep breath and started.
“You know Hikari san. I was reflecting on what I said to you.”
Hikari tilted her head to the side. "What do you mean?"
"Letting it out once in a while." Looking at the moon, Ken started. Slightly leaning back further into the bench, he glanced at the flickering city lights. "I... have actually told how I felt, to a friend once before."
A pause. "On issue of Inoue san...that is." He smiled sadly.
Hikari leaned closer to Ken and gave him a small smile. "Go on..."
Ken nodded. "It...didn't really turn out well at all. At first, it all started with my being a jerk. I avoided her for two weeks after I've confessed to her, out of insecurity...." He breathed. "But she was kind enough to accept me, but only after our second date I was dumped."
Hikari didn't say anything at first, biting her lip. Ken had felt just as much pain as she had and she wasn't sure how to address that. "You know," she began, unsure of herself. "They say these things happen for a reason...that somehow, we're supposed to take something from them and use them to make us stronger people. And even if that's the outcome in the end...it doesn't seem worth all the pain, does it?"
As his friend looked at him with serious eyes, Ken just nodded. Smiling sadly, he continued on. "It's...alright. I was quite alright then." He stretched. "In fact, I just wanted her to be sure of her feelings and I decided to wait." He eyed the night street sadly. "I... don't think it makes us stronger person." He smiled weakly. "Only makes our front appear stronger."
Hikari nodded slowly. "Someone once told me appearances were everthing...I never really believed it, though," she added a soft smile.
Ken nodded, and wondered if he should go on, telling her what happened afterwards. As he's brought up the memories leading up the current situation, he sighed.
Glancing down, Hikari wrung her hands in her lap. She was saying all the wrong things, messing everything up. He had been so terribly supportive and kind during her tirade...and yet she didn't know what to say. "Have you spoken to Miyako in recent days?" she asked quietly, and then suddenly paused, wishing she could take it back. She probably shouldn't have asked.
Ken shook his head. "...Well that's not everything that's happened." He smiled sadly.
Hikari furrowed her eyebrows, confused. "What do you mean?"
Thinking about this for a moment, Hikari rested her chin in her hands. "Honestly...I don't think so. Even if I cared for them, I don't think I'd be able to look past that so easily. I'd just leave myself wondering if I was a replacement."
She chuckled to herself. "I say that like it's so easy and yet...it's so not. It's the exact opposite...it's hard." Gripping the fabric of her skirt between her fingers, she swallowed, trying to will away the strange pain in her chest. "Look at me, months later...and I'm still in the same place I was they day we broke up. I haven't healed at all, haven't given myself the chance to heal...mostly because I can't deal with it. I can't be bothered to pick up the pieces." She scoffed. "Oh, listen to me; I'm getting all cynical! So much for being the child of light..."
Ken looked at his friend, and grabbed her hands. "It's only natural, Hikari san." He could feel hurt in her eyes, and it was difficult for him as well. "I...haven't been too kind to Inoue san past few months, after..." He trailed off recalling what she has confessed to have done the Christmas night.
Hikari scanned his eyes, searching for the answer. But she came up short again, and squeezed his hands, urging him to go on. "After what?" She bit her lip. Maybe she shouldn't have asked, just left it at that. But the words were leaving her lips before she'd even realized she had formed them.
Taken a back by what Hikari's asked, Ken's heart began to quicken its pace. Should I tell her.... He wondered. The last time he's shared with Daisuke, surely it didn't go well. He opened his mouth, very hesitant. Then he remembered his vow, to be honest. "I guess there's no fooling you." Ken smiled. "I won't reveal the details, for Inoue san's privacy, but after the last Christmas, I had a chance to visit her." He breathed. "Things went terribly wrong there, and after that, another person who cares about her deeply had come to me and asked me to stay away from her." He finished, clenching his fist.
Hikari nodded, in her head putting the pieces together and remembering the vague details of her and Miyako's discussion at their sleepover so many months ago. Iori... she thought to herself, though she didn't say it out loud. "Wow..." she voiced. "That must have been hard...and that's unfair to you, too."
Ken looked off into the blue sky. "I...don't think it's unfair." He smiled. "I think, I have hurt her as much as I am hurting." He closed his eyes. "In fact, I'd be happy for her if things turned out well for them, and she could once again smile like she had, before anything happened."
Hikari smiled softly. "You're so kind, Ken."
He shook his head. "I'm not so sure if you'd be able to say that if you saw me then." He smiled awkwardly. "I...might be just being a coward, not facing the consequences from them." He continued, and looked at the scattering sakura petals. "Just.... earlier, when you've grabbed my arm, I couldn't help but be reminded of Inoue san." He smiled gently. "You know she tugs and pulls her friends."
Hikari flushed as she took in the fact that her actions were quite like her friend's. She gulped. "I didn't think anything of it at the time..." she trailed off. "I didn't mean to be bold. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable..."
Ken chuckled. "Nah. I enjoyed it. It shows how close we've gotten as friends.. so." He looked at Hikari and smiled, patting her hair. "Remember the time I used to call you Yagami san?" He playfully poked her face.
Hikari laughed, poking him in the arm. "I remember it well. And I'd just look at you and say 'You're doing it again.' Wow..." she trailed off. "That almost seems like a forever ago."
Ken grinned. "See? I'm glad."
Hikari grinned back, knocking her shoulder against his playfully. "I'm glad, too."
Ken laughed, and grabbed Hikari's hand briefly. Then he let go, and continued, looking at the flickering light. "It would be nice, to be able to get move on easily." He smiled looking at his friend. "Sometimes, I can't help but wish that there was just someone that could help me get out of this whole mess you know."
Hikari nodded. "Yeah, me too. Just someone to...take it all away. Make you forget that you were ever hurt."
The blue haired boy smiled. "Well, I guess we have that in common too."
There was a moment of silence as night air gently caressed their cheeks.
Smiling, Ken started. "Your turn?"
"My turn?" Hikari giggled. "To what? Spill my heart out?"
"Hey, I did mine." Ken bit his tongue cutely.
"Alright, alright!" Hikari smiled. "Sometimes, I just wish that things would turn out like a book. Or a movie. Just something to give the reassurance that things like that do happen. And yet, all I ever end up with is mixed signals and a broken heart...and that's when I realize that things like that only happen in movies and books for a reason."
Ken nodded. "Go on."
"I read this book once..." Hikari began. "And in it, the protagonists fell in love so slowly, that at first it didn't even occur to me that they would end up together. So much was going on in the book throughout the duration of it, that it hardly seemed like romance would be covered, but their friendship and bond just grew stronger. By the end of it, it was apparent that the two were deeply in love and despite everything that happened throughout the book, even just as friends, they were able to support each other and move past it. That's the kind of romance I want. Something slow and unexpected...but in the end, it's just right. But then I look away from the paper and the words and I realize that that kind of romance, just like fairytales, isn't easily obtained." She smiled sadly. "It always kind of stings to realize that."
Ken smiled upon hearing her input. "That sounds wonderful." He paused and thought for a moment. "I don't think it'll only happen within books. There are cases like that just right before our eyes you know." He smiled. "There's Taichi san and Sora san." He nodded to himself. "I think...." Ken contemplated. "Once you stop believing it, that's when it really stops." He eyed the ground. "I think,
that kind of romance does exist." He smiled.
Smiling back, Hikari tucked a piece of loose hair behind her ear. "I'm glad you think so...I can only hope, after all."
Hikari swung her legs back and forth. "I thought I had that romance...once." She looked up at the darkening sky. "With Takeru. It just seemed natural that we'd make that transition from friends to more than friends. And yet...something just didn't work out. And I can't help but wonder that maybe it was something I did."
Ken turned his head to face his friend, and nodded. "Go on." He encouraged.
"But when things between us ended, that idea of that kind of romance just diminished, got harder to believe in. And I kept thinking what went wrong?" she sighed. "I don't know. I think too much."
Ken shook his head. "I don't think you're thinking too much. We all like to wonder and wish how things would've been different if it went the way we would've liked it to." He sighed. "I...did that gazillion times with my own situation." He smiled, looking at Hikari's face. He grabbed Hikari's hand, and held it firm. "If you want to talk about it, why don't you talk about it. The relationship."
Hikari nodded. "It just happened so fast. I remember the day he asked me out on a date; he said 'What would you do if, theoretically, I were to ask you out on a date?' and I told him that theoretically, I'd say yes," Hikari laughed. "At the time, I thought this was the cutest thing ever. And then we went on a few dates here and there, used the girlfriend, boyfriend name tags and before I knew it, four months later, it was over." She sighed, squeezing Ken's hand. "I don't know what else to say."
Ken brought a hand to his chin. "That...doesn't sound too bad. How were your lives then? Were you dealing with anything difficult? has he been dealing with anything difficult?"
“I don't know," Hikari shrugged. "I couldn't tell you; I was always busy with dance. It's a part of my life that...I wish I could forget, because it hurts too much and yet at the same time, I want to hold on to it forever, because forgetting it would hurt even more."
Ken nodded. "I see..."' He breathed cool night air into his lungs. It felt refreshing, though hearing Hikari talk about it only confirmed how much alike they were. "I...feel the same." He smiled weakly.
"He moved on though," Hikari said, kicking a rock at her feet, smiling sadly. "He moved on with Yuki and now he's with Catherine. He was able to let go..." she felt her voice crack. Looking up at Ken with tears welling in her eyes, she took a deep breath. "Why can't I?"
Ken couldn't help but feeling like he's staring at a mirror. Unable to move on, stuck in a rut! Everything faded into whiteness within his head, as his friend cried. He reached, he reached desperately, feeling the need to protect his friend, shivering in cold night air, sad and broken….himself.
Before he knew it, he found himself, holding Hikari in a tight embrace.
Hikari wound her arms around Ken, crying onto his shoulder. She hadn't cried like this since the two of them had been at Takeru's apartment, and even then, she had entirely sure why she had been crying other than Takeru was hurting and she couldn't do anything about it. But now, as she clung to the fabric of Ken's shirt, she knew exactly what. She was hurting. She hiccupped and looked up at Ken.
"T-thank you," she said, her voice soft and weak.
Ken looked down at Hikari, his gaze gentle. She looked so fragile, so vulnerable. He just shook his head. “No need.” He gently stroked her hair. This was himself that he was comforting here, another side of the same coin. He quietly mouthed. “There’s no need to hold back.”
"E-even still," she hiccupped again. "You're being so s-so sweet and kind and how do I repay you?" she pulled back slightly and examined his shirt before hiccupping again. "I get you all wet!" For some reason, this made her cry just a little bit harder, and she buried her face in his shirt again.
Ken nodded, and stroked his friend’s back, as she cried. “There’s no need to hold back…” He continued, murmuring, to himself, until the word faded into nothingness and he was only mouthing it. He looked up, as he felt his own eyes tear up. His friend was there in his arms, shivering, and he only held her tighter, hoping to provide the little warmth. As a stream of tear ran down his own cheeks, he raised his free hand and wiped it off.
"T-thank you so, so much," Hikari said, still sobbing into his shirt. "It means a-a lot to me. Just to have s-someone listen." She hugged him even tighter, hoping she could some how convey how much she appreciated it.
The blue haired boy began to slow pat his friend’s back. He smiled gently, at small form of his friend. Not until now, he has realized now narrow her shoulders were. After all, she was a girl his age after all, despite all the love she gives to others. He sighed out, as feeling of peace has oddly set into his heart. He was glad his friend trusted him enough to show her frail side. A part of themselves, which nobody would like to admit, even to yourself. “No problem.” Quietly, his voice left his mouth and scattered into night wind. He hoped, his presence was comforting to her, as much as she was when she was with everyone else.
A few moments passed before Hikari's sobs died down and she was left hiccupping. Drawing back slightly from Ken, she fingered the damp part of his shirt and sighed. "Your shirt is all wet now," Hiccup. "I'm sorry."
Ken just shook his head, and smiled. He reached for ward and patted her on the head.
Hikari sniffled. "It's getting late, ne?" She looked up at Ken, her eyes red and puffy. "I should probably be getting home..."
He nodded. “I’’ll walk you home.” Smiling, he reached and briefly squeezed Hikari’s hand.
“It feels good to let it out doesn’t it?” Ken smiled, nudging Hikari’s shoulder.
Giving a small smile, Hikari nodded and nudged Ken back. "Yeah...it does." And it really did. She felt better, relieved even, like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. All she had felt had been poured out in words and emotions, and for once, someone was there to listen to it. Now maybe she could stop thinking about the past, and focus on the future.
Pacing forward, Ken smiled. It felt good, to feel like you’ve been help somehow. The feeling of hitting the wall was nowhere present; as he somehow knew he and Hikari both mutually understood each other. Stretching, he turned his head, and smiled at Hikari. “Shell we get going?” He offered a hand.
Accepting Ken's hand, Hikari gave it a little squeeze before continuing forward. "Yes, we shall." She smiled brightly, suddenly feeling much better.
….
Narrowly escaping from sharing the piece of birthday cake, Ken stood outside of Hikari’s apartment complex. The night breeze felt cold to him, and he shivered a little. But he felt warm, watching the light dance in Yagami household. Smiling, he wished his friend a happy birthday again, and started to walk away.
“Ah… I didn’t get to ask her…” He paused in mid track as he’s recalled one question popped into his head, but he just shook his head, smiling to himself.
“Naa. It can wait.”
He pressed a hand into where the girl’s tear had been. Though it was wet, and the night air cold, he couldn’t help but somehow, feel the warmth generating within, from the spot where little light had touched.