FIC: The carriage held but just Ourselves (Pt. 9/10)
Title: The Carriage held but just Ourselves (Pt. 9/10)
Author: blue_fjords
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Gwen, Andy, Tosh, Jack, Ianto, Owen, Suzie, Rhys, Gerald Carter, Rupesh
Word length: 3,000
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warnings: Please highlight for warnings, as they give away plot points, but could be triggery for people. Nothing is in this story that you didn't see onscreen in season one TW. References made to child abuse and suicide.
Summary: Crime novel AU w/ alternating POVs from Gwen and Jack.
A/N: Yeah. Been awhile. Or a while. A long time. Thanks to amand_r for beta-ing these last three chapters, and paragraphs for encouraging me to finish. Would not have been written w/out you ladies, and I really wanted to finish it, so thanks. Title from Emily Dickinson.
Gwen
Andy brought pizza. Gwen would have loved him for that if she didn't already. Updating the traffic violation database didn't hold a candle to extradition requests from a half-dozen countries, reports and forms. She leaned back in her chair and twisted a string of melty cheese around her finger. The pizza was still piping hot, nearly burning her other hand, but she didn't care. She wasn't putting the slice down for anything!
Her eyes traveled across the room. Harkness wasn't even bothering trying to keep his voice down as he told Gerald Carter in no uncertain terms what precautions he should take while Cardiff held Suzie as a prisoner. Just for overnight, Gwen reminded herself. Because tomorrow, Tosh had asked if she would like to accompany her back to London and the Interpol office there, where the main bulk of deciding who would get the first chance at Suzie Costello would take place.
Her eyes met Tosh's across the room, and both women exchanged brief smiles. Tosh was trying to go over Costello-the-elder's files while ignoring Owen Harper. Harper wanted Patanjali to be arrested for something, anything. Gwen was aiming for obstruction of justice herself, but it was a gray area, and she knew she was being swayed by his cowardice, which was not a crime after all. Harper just didn't like the man.
At the table next to them, Ianto was requisitioning a van to transport Suzie. Gwen frowned at the massive shadows under his eyes. He hadn't touched his pizza, either. He should be in London dealing with his wife's … Gwen blinked back a tear, annoyed with herself. If Ianto could hold it together, surely she could, too. Besides, maybe work really was the best thing for him.
She helped herself to another piece. Next to her, Andy shot her an excited look, reminiscent of a kid at Christmas, finally getting upgraded to the adult table. She grinned and took a large bite of her pizza. It was amazing how soothing mozzarella could be to rattled nerves.
Harper gave up on his argument with Tosh and snatched up two slices of pizza, biting into both at once. Gwen tried to pretend he wasn't even there as Tosh looked up at her, adjusting her glasses.
"Gwen," she said, and the rest of the room fell silent to listen, except for Harper's disgusting mastication sounds. "That hunch you had about Suzie posing as a reporter? She didn't have to pose." She slid a magazine across the table, expertly avoiding dirty napkins and puddles of grease. "She started out as Suzanne Costa, writing for this medical journal. I've gone through some back issues - she traveled all over the world reporting on 'medical miracles.' It was her niche. Her father kept clippings."
Everyone's eyes focused on her. Ianto even gave her a tiny smile. She sat a bit straighter and hoped she didn't have tomato sauce on her cheek.
"So the magazine sent her places?" she asked, which was a little freaky, from the magazine's perspective. Kind of an unintentional accomplice to murder.
"At first. She went freelance a couple years ago, started using aliases for her travel. But the most interesting thing," Tosh continued, "are these medical records Dr. Harper obtained from Dr. Patanjali's office. They don't just belong to Suzie's father. They also belong to Suzie."
"And?" Harkness asked, striding over to the table and flipping over the file. "What did you find, Toshiko?"
"I think you had already figured it out, Jack," Tosh replied.
"Suzie was dying. Is dying," Jack said softly.
"Cancer," Tosh confirmed. "Of the bone marrow."
Harper snorted, and Andy flinched. Gwen could sympathize. No one wanted to be standing across from the man who snorted with a mouth full of pizza. She fished in her pocket for a tissue and passed it over to Andy.
"Was Suzie a moron or something? She couldn't possibly think she could find a match by randomly sampling the bone marrow of perfect strangers!" Harper took a decisive bite out of his pizza and scowled around at the room. If Gwen hadn't been so tired, she would have shot back with a witty rejoinder. Or a theory, a theory would have been good.
"Maybe she was practicing," Gwen said, grasping for something that could be it.
"That, and maybe she liked the illusion of power it gave her." Harkness's large hand clenched on the paper in the file. Gwen wiped her greasy fingers on her trousers and reached over, tugging the file gently out of his grasp and smoothing the papers. They'd need them later for evidence. As long as Suzie lived to reach trial.
"I need to get in there and speak with her," Harkness said, addressing Tosh, but it was Gerald Carter who responded.
"We will certainly take your request under due consideration."
Everyone stared at him. He had the grace to blush.
"I'm sure what our colleague means," Tosh said carefully, "is that, due to extenuating circumstances, you should take a half-hour and unofficially question her."
Harkness nodded curtly. "I'll go now."
He strode quickly out of the room, his coat swishing behind him. Tosh and Ianto exchanged a look, then Ianto followed Harkness. Harper shoved the last of his pizza in his mouth and pulled the medical files towards him. Gerald Carter seemed to come back to himself with a start.
"Heavens, look at the time! Davidson, Cooper, your shifts ended ten minutes ago. I think Interpol has this paperwork well in hand. Tut, tut." He tapped his watch and peeled back his lips in what he obviously thought was a smile. "Don't want to charge the city of Cardiff for unnecessary overtime now, do we?"
Gwen shook her head and Carter took it for acquiescence instead of disbelief at his utter lack of tact.
"Actually, DI Carter, I could use a hand," Tosh said. "Gwen is caught up on Suzie's case."
"Yeah," Gwen chimed in quickly. "Yes, I mean. I would love to help."
"And Interpol would contribute to any overtime," Tosh said, a hint of frost in her voice. Gwen hid her smile behind a napkin.
Carter's inner struggle flashed across his face for a moment before he grudgingly gave in. "Right, well, in that case. Davidson!" he barked. "We need to tie up loose ends at Spire. You're still on the clock." He gave Tosh a perfunctory nod and turned on his heel.
Andy rolled his eyes, but followed him out the door, brushing crumbs off his uniform.
"You know, Gwen," Tosh said, finally helping herself to a piece of pizza. "You should give serious thought to applying for Interpol."
Gwen's heart beat a little faster. It had sounded beyond amazing when Tosh had described it the other day. And working as a detective instead of a copper…but then she thought of Rhys, and how she had to struggle to find the time to see him as it was. And what about Andy, her supportive partner? She hesitated for a long moment. She wanted it. Badly.
"It's not always travel all the time," Tosh said, as if she could read her reasons why not, plain as day. "Although some of us do have a hard time maintaining an outside life. But you could be different, Gwen. Someone has to be."
She licked her lips nervously. "So. What do I do to apply?"
Tosh smiled at her, but Harper interrupted before she could say anything. Gwen had been trying to forget he was even still in the room with them. "Whatever you do, Copper Cooper, do it quickly." He tossed Suzie's file back on the table. "Suzie Costello is not long for this world."
Jack
Jack schooled his fingers to stillness by laying them flat against the cool surface of the bolted-down metal table. Everything in the room was bolted down, except for Jack - the table, two chairs, even Suzie. Jack was the only one free.
He snorted to himself. Suzie did not look up. He had freedom of movement, sure, but true freedom was an illusion. He glanced at his watch - only ten more minutes remained on his guarantee.
"Suzie," he said through gritted teeth. "Tell me why."
Nothing. In a room down the hall, Tosh waited patiently, filling out paperwork and preparing to take Suzie away. Half an hour, she'd given him, off the record. And Suzie had stonewalled him for twenty minutes.
"Your dad seems nice," he said suddenly, trying a new tactic. Her eyelid twitched. "Of course, you wouldn't be able to recognize him now - looks like a watercolor of George Clooney that's been left in the rain."
Her lip curled in a sneer, but she maintained her silence.
"He had some interesting things to say about you. About the good times you'd have when you were a little girl. So young and eager-to-please." His stomach felt a little sick, to be blatantly referring to it, but he kept his face smooth, detached. "He told us how you used to read to him."
Something changed in her face, like a curtain closing, not that she had been expressive before.
"Apparently with no surprise
To any happy flower,
The frost beheads it at its play
In accidental power,"
Jack kept his voice quiet and calm. Suzie hissed under her breath, but he continued doggedly.
"The blond assassin passes on,
The sun proceeds unmoved
To measure off another day
For an approving God."
Suzie was breathing heavily by the time he finished.
"Was he your God, Suzie?" Jack asked.
She snapped.
"He never was!" She slammed her fists on the table, chains rattling. Jack knew without a doubt that if she could but reach, those ineffectual fists would be tight around his throat. He threw another weapon at her.
"He had a message for you, Suzie," he lied smoothly. "Do you know this one?"
"Look back on time with kindly eyes,
He doubtless did his best;
How softly sinks his trembling sun
In human nature's west!"
"A ball on a stick would've been a better parent than that excuse for a human being," Suzie snarled. "His trembling fucking sun?! You shouldn't have stopped me, Harkness. You should've thanked me!"
"For killing Alex? Mark Brisco? Jonah Bevan? All the others?" He thrust his finger in her face. "Explain to me why I should thank you for their murders!"
She gave him a pitying look. "They were the walking dead. They had no business being here."
"No business? You arrogant little bitch-"
"Language, Harkness," she said primly. "I am a lady."
"I can't think of anyone less lady-like." And he'd been fooling himself to think he could get any closure by talking to Suzie. Insane people weren't known for their rationality.
"Is that supposed to wound me? Calling me names, throwing my freak of a father in my face - does that make you feel like a bigger man?" She bit off her words, the anger in her eyes the only physical indication that she didn't feel as calm as she looked. "In the end, you would've done the same as me. You would want to live, Harkness - live forever." She looked away. "There's something moving in the dark," she said softly. "The dead can see it, right as they die, soaking up the last light from their eyes. It's not Death." Her voice grew stronger, harder. "I was going to stop it. I was going to fight it, but you fucked it up, Harkness."
"I can't say that I'm sorry." This had been a worthless exercise. Suzie was off the streets, it was the only satisfaction he was going to be able to take from this whole mess. He rose to leave as she started talking again.
"That dead boy out in the hall," she said, and Jack froze. Ianto, she had to mean Ianto. His eyes met hers of their own accord. "I'll be waiting for him in the dark. Tell him for me?"
His hands closed around her throat as she laughed. No matter how he squeezed she still laughed, a high-pitched wheeze.
The door flew open and Ianto was there, pulling him off her, herding him out of the room as Cardiff's finest followed him in to shut Suzie up, move her away. Jack couldn't see; his vision was red.
"Jack! Jack, Jack." Slowly it dawned on him that Ianto was saying his name, Ianto was holding his face and looking into his eyes. "Jack."
Jack crushed their bodies together, his arms tight around Ianto as he drew strength from the other man. The grieving widower, he reminded himself, who didn't have much strength to spare. But his arms encircled Jack anyway, and his frame accepted Jack's weight.
Jack breathed in and out before loosening his grip enough to take a step back.
"Well. I didn't kill her," he said.
A flash of amusement cut through the concern in Ianto's cloudy blue eyes.
"That's good. I'd hate to arrest you."
"I can't believe she got to me. Dammit, you'd think after all this time I'd be able to…" His voice trailed away. A line appeared between Ianto's brows, a question on his lips, but it wasn't one Jack wanted to answer. He silenced him with a kiss, the kinder, gentler cousin to the one they'd shared in the alley, but no less wrong. Lisa's death clung to Ianto like a powerful cologne, filling Jack's nostrils even as he tried to erase the scars of her passage with his lips and tongue, and selfishly pull out healing for himself, too.
Ianto pushed him slowly back by his shoulders. "Jack."
"I'm sorry," he said automatically. It seemed he was forever apologizing to Ianto.
"Time, Jack. You just can't…I need a friend…"
"I can be that," he answered quickly. And he could, he could be perfectly friendly, and wait and watch until he could have more. Surely he could do that.
"Good, because." Ianto's jaw clenched, and Jack knew exactly what he wasn't saying, as they were the same words he hadn't been saying for a long time - I can't do this alone.
"Jack?" Toshiko's voice sounded from out in the hall. Jack pulled reluctantly away, his hand falling from Ianto's neck, his fingers unclenching and smoothing down Ianto's waistcoat.
"In here," he called back. There was something in his throat, choking him. One glance at Ianto, quickly composing himself, his eyes a bit wild, told Jack it was probably his heart.
Toshiko appeared in the doorway, Gwen Cooper at her elbow. She gave Jack a crooked little smile, and Jack couldn't resist smiling back despite Suzie, despite Ianto and his own tangled feelings. He'd found a friend for life in PC Gwen Cooper. It'd been a while since that had happened for him. Not since Toshiko, really.
"Did you find what you were looking for?" Toshiko asked.
Jack snorted. "No. I don't think even Suzie could explain things…anyhow. Have you come to collect her?"
Toshiko shook her head. "Not just yet. We'll leave in the morning. It's already rush hour out there, and we're exhausted. Better to leave at first light."
"I'm going to take Ianto back to London tonight," Jack declared, deciding right then. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Ianto start, then visibly relax. It was the right thing to do, the friendly thing.
Toshiko bit her lip. "Will you…call me if you need anything?"
Jack felt a surge of warmth toward her for not asking Ianto if he'd be okay. It was obvious that wasn't on the table, at least for quite a while.
"Of course, Tosh," Ianto answered. "We're partners."
Jack looked away from their awkward hug and goodbyes.
"You'll be watching Suzie for me, right, Cooper?" he asked quietly, crossing over to stand beside her. "Don't pay attention to her ramblings, if you want to sleep soundly."
"Trust me, I'll turn a deaf ear to her, and I'll let you know if she so much as scratches her nose," Gwen promised. She stuck out her hand, and Jack shook it, his fingers completely engulfing hers. Déjà vu all over again. "Thank you for catching me," she said formally.
"Any time, Gwen Cooper."
He glanced back at the women as he led Ianto from the room. Their heads were bent toward each other, serious expressions on their faces. If nothing else, this case had brought them together. Jack could sense that would be a strong alliance. He held his hand protectively at the small of Ianto's back to direct him down the halls. Perhaps he and Ianto could also be a strong alliance, if they could look beyond their inner demons.
They left Cardiff in silence. The M4 stretched in front of them, choked with traffic, but it was nothing compared to the host of spirits in their SUV. Jack cut his eyes at Ianto, hunched against the passenger side door, gazing unseeing out at the gray day. He wondered if Ianto could feel them, the ghosts that followed close behind, crowding the backseat and trailing in the fumes from the exhaust pipe.
If he drove fast enough, would they be able to escape? Or would Lisa, Alex, all the others, always dog their path, no matter how much time passed? Jack fixed his eyes on the road and kept his brooding to himself.
The sun poked its head up from behind a cloud as they crossed the border, a final flare before it fell into the horizon. Jack rolled his shoulders, working out the kinks, and looked over at Ianto once more. The other man was asleep, the fog of dreams smoothing out the lines in his forehead and making him appear almost carefree. Jack's lips quirked up in a smile. Ianto's hand lay palm-side up on his knee. Jack reached over and squeezed it, letting go quickly, but not before receiving a squeeze in return.
They picked up speed, ghosts falling to dust behind them.
Part Ten
Author: blue_fjords
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Gwen, Andy, Tosh, Jack, Ianto, Owen, Suzie, Rhys, Gerald Carter, Rupesh
Word length: 3,000
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warnings: Please highlight for warnings, as they give away plot points, but could be triggery for people. Nothing is in this story that you didn't see onscreen in season one TW. References made to child abuse and suicide.
Summary: Crime novel AU w/ alternating POVs from Gwen and Jack.
A/N: Yeah. Been awhile. Or a while. A long time. Thanks to amand_r for beta-ing these last three chapters, and paragraphs for encouraging me to finish. Would not have been written w/out you ladies, and I really wanted to finish it, so thanks. Title from Emily Dickinson.
Gwen
Andy brought pizza. Gwen would have loved him for that if she didn't already. Updating the traffic violation database didn't hold a candle to extradition requests from a half-dozen countries, reports and forms. She leaned back in her chair and twisted a string of melty cheese around her finger. The pizza was still piping hot, nearly burning her other hand, but she didn't care. She wasn't putting the slice down for anything!
Her eyes traveled across the room. Harkness wasn't even bothering trying to keep his voice down as he told Gerald Carter in no uncertain terms what precautions he should take while Cardiff held Suzie as a prisoner. Just for overnight, Gwen reminded herself. Because tomorrow, Tosh had asked if she would like to accompany her back to London and the Interpol office there, where the main bulk of deciding who would get the first chance at Suzie Costello would take place.
Her eyes met Tosh's across the room, and both women exchanged brief smiles. Tosh was trying to go over Costello-the-elder's files while ignoring Owen Harper. Harper wanted Patanjali to be arrested for something, anything. Gwen was aiming for obstruction of justice herself, but it was a gray area, and she knew she was being swayed by his cowardice, which was not a crime after all. Harper just didn't like the man.
At the table next to them, Ianto was requisitioning a van to transport Suzie. Gwen frowned at the massive shadows under his eyes. He hadn't touched his pizza, either. He should be in London dealing with his wife's … Gwen blinked back a tear, annoyed with herself. If Ianto could hold it together, surely she could, too. Besides, maybe work really was the best thing for him.
She helped herself to another piece. Next to her, Andy shot her an excited look, reminiscent of a kid at Christmas, finally getting upgraded to the adult table. She grinned and took a large bite of her pizza. It was amazing how soothing mozzarella could be to rattled nerves.
Harper gave up on his argument with Tosh and snatched up two slices of pizza, biting into both at once. Gwen tried to pretend he wasn't even there as Tosh looked up at her, adjusting her glasses.
"Gwen," she said, and the rest of the room fell silent to listen, except for Harper's disgusting mastication sounds. "That hunch you had about Suzie posing as a reporter? She didn't have to pose." She slid a magazine across the table, expertly avoiding dirty napkins and puddles of grease. "She started out as Suzanne Costa, writing for this medical journal. I've gone through some back issues - she traveled all over the world reporting on 'medical miracles.' It was her niche. Her father kept clippings."
Everyone's eyes focused on her. Ianto even gave her a tiny smile. She sat a bit straighter and hoped she didn't have tomato sauce on her cheek.
"So the magazine sent her places?" she asked, which was a little freaky, from the magazine's perspective. Kind of an unintentional accomplice to murder.
"At first. She went freelance a couple years ago, started using aliases for her travel. But the most interesting thing," Tosh continued, "are these medical records Dr. Harper obtained from Dr. Patanjali's office. They don't just belong to Suzie's father. They also belong to Suzie."
"And?" Harkness asked, striding over to the table and flipping over the file. "What did you find, Toshiko?"
"I think you had already figured it out, Jack," Tosh replied.
"Suzie was dying. Is dying," Jack said softly.
"Cancer," Tosh confirmed. "Of the bone marrow."
Harper snorted, and Andy flinched. Gwen could sympathize. No one wanted to be standing across from the man who snorted with a mouth full of pizza. She fished in her pocket for a tissue and passed it over to Andy.
"Was Suzie a moron or something? She couldn't possibly think she could find a match by randomly sampling the bone marrow of perfect strangers!" Harper took a decisive bite out of his pizza and scowled around at the room. If Gwen hadn't been so tired, she would have shot back with a witty rejoinder. Or a theory, a theory would have been good.
"Maybe she was practicing," Gwen said, grasping for something that could be it.
"That, and maybe she liked the illusion of power it gave her." Harkness's large hand clenched on the paper in the file. Gwen wiped her greasy fingers on her trousers and reached over, tugging the file gently out of his grasp and smoothing the papers. They'd need them later for evidence. As long as Suzie lived to reach trial.
"I need to get in there and speak with her," Harkness said, addressing Tosh, but it was Gerald Carter who responded.
"We will certainly take your request under due consideration."
Everyone stared at him. He had the grace to blush.
"I'm sure what our colleague means," Tosh said carefully, "is that, due to extenuating circumstances, you should take a half-hour and unofficially question her."
Harkness nodded curtly. "I'll go now."
He strode quickly out of the room, his coat swishing behind him. Tosh and Ianto exchanged a look, then Ianto followed Harkness. Harper shoved the last of his pizza in his mouth and pulled the medical files towards him. Gerald Carter seemed to come back to himself with a start.
"Heavens, look at the time! Davidson, Cooper, your shifts ended ten minutes ago. I think Interpol has this paperwork well in hand. Tut, tut." He tapped his watch and peeled back his lips in what he obviously thought was a smile. "Don't want to charge the city of Cardiff for unnecessary overtime now, do we?"
Gwen shook her head and Carter took it for acquiescence instead of disbelief at his utter lack of tact.
"Actually, DI Carter, I could use a hand," Tosh said. "Gwen is caught up on Suzie's case."
"Yeah," Gwen chimed in quickly. "Yes, I mean. I would love to help."
"And Interpol would contribute to any overtime," Tosh said, a hint of frost in her voice. Gwen hid her smile behind a napkin.
Carter's inner struggle flashed across his face for a moment before he grudgingly gave in. "Right, well, in that case. Davidson!" he barked. "We need to tie up loose ends at Spire. You're still on the clock." He gave Tosh a perfunctory nod and turned on his heel.
Andy rolled his eyes, but followed him out the door, brushing crumbs off his uniform.
"You know, Gwen," Tosh said, finally helping herself to a piece of pizza. "You should give serious thought to applying for Interpol."
Gwen's heart beat a little faster. It had sounded beyond amazing when Tosh had described it the other day. And working as a detective instead of a copper…but then she thought of Rhys, and how she had to struggle to find the time to see him as it was. And what about Andy, her supportive partner? She hesitated for a long moment. She wanted it. Badly.
"It's not always travel all the time," Tosh said, as if she could read her reasons why not, plain as day. "Although some of us do have a hard time maintaining an outside life. But you could be different, Gwen. Someone has to be."
She licked her lips nervously. "So. What do I do to apply?"
Tosh smiled at her, but Harper interrupted before she could say anything. Gwen had been trying to forget he was even still in the room with them. "Whatever you do, Copper Cooper, do it quickly." He tossed Suzie's file back on the table. "Suzie Costello is not long for this world."
Jack
Jack schooled his fingers to stillness by laying them flat against the cool surface of the bolted-down metal table. Everything in the room was bolted down, except for Jack - the table, two chairs, even Suzie. Jack was the only one free.
He snorted to himself. Suzie did not look up. He had freedom of movement, sure, but true freedom was an illusion. He glanced at his watch - only ten more minutes remained on his guarantee.
"Suzie," he said through gritted teeth. "Tell me why."
Nothing. In a room down the hall, Tosh waited patiently, filling out paperwork and preparing to take Suzie away. Half an hour, she'd given him, off the record. And Suzie had stonewalled him for twenty minutes.
"Your dad seems nice," he said suddenly, trying a new tactic. Her eyelid twitched. "Of course, you wouldn't be able to recognize him now - looks like a watercolor of George Clooney that's been left in the rain."
Her lip curled in a sneer, but she maintained her silence.
"He had some interesting things to say about you. About the good times you'd have when you were a little girl. So young and eager-to-please." His stomach felt a little sick, to be blatantly referring to it, but he kept his face smooth, detached. "He told us how you used to read to him."
Something changed in her face, like a curtain closing, not that she had been expressive before.
"Apparently with no surprise
To any happy flower,
The frost beheads it at its play
In accidental power,"
Jack kept his voice quiet and calm. Suzie hissed under her breath, but he continued doggedly.
"The blond assassin passes on,
The sun proceeds unmoved
To measure off another day
For an approving God."
Suzie was breathing heavily by the time he finished.
"Was he your God, Suzie?" Jack asked.
She snapped.
"He never was!" She slammed her fists on the table, chains rattling. Jack knew without a doubt that if she could but reach, those ineffectual fists would be tight around his throat. He threw another weapon at her.
"He had a message for you, Suzie," he lied smoothly. "Do you know this one?"
"Look back on time with kindly eyes,
He doubtless did his best;
How softly sinks his trembling sun
In human nature's west!"
"A ball on a stick would've been a better parent than that excuse for a human being," Suzie snarled. "His trembling fucking sun?! You shouldn't have stopped me, Harkness. You should've thanked me!"
"For killing Alex? Mark Brisco? Jonah Bevan? All the others?" He thrust his finger in her face. "Explain to me why I should thank you for their murders!"
She gave him a pitying look. "They were the walking dead. They had no business being here."
"No business? You arrogant little bitch-"
"Language, Harkness," she said primly. "I am a lady."
"I can't think of anyone less lady-like." And he'd been fooling himself to think he could get any closure by talking to Suzie. Insane people weren't known for their rationality.
"Is that supposed to wound me? Calling me names, throwing my freak of a father in my face - does that make you feel like a bigger man?" She bit off her words, the anger in her eyes the only physical indication that she didn't feel as calm as she looked. "In the end, you would've done the same as me. You would want to live, Harkness - live forever." She looked away. "There's something moving in the dark," she said softly. "The dead can see it, right as they die, soaking up the last light from their eyes. It's not Death." Her voice grew stronger, harder. "I was going to stop it. I was going to fight it, but you fucked it up, Harkness."
"I can't say that I'm sorry." This had been a worthless exercise. Suzie was off the streets, it was the only satisfaction he was going to be able to take from this whole mess. He rose to leave as she started talking again.
"That dead boy out in the hall," she said, and Jack froze. Ianto, she had to mean Ianto. His eyes met hers of their own accord. "I'll be waiting for him in the dark. Tell him for me?"
His hands closed around her throat as she laughed. No matter how he squeezed she still laughed, a high-pitched wheeze.
The door flew open and Ianto was there, pulling him off her, herding him out of the room as Cardiff's finest followed him in to shut Suzie up, move her away. Jack couldn't see; his vision was red.
"Jack! Jack, Jack." Slowly it dawned on him that Ianto was saying his name, Ianto was holding his face and looking into his eyes. "Jack."
Jack crushed their bodies together, his arms tight around Ianto as he drew strength from the other man. The grieving widower, he reminded himself, who didn't have much strength to spare. But his arms encircled Jack anyway, and his frame accepted Jack's weight.
Jack breathed in and out before loosening his grip enough to take a step back.
"Well. I didn't kill her," he said.
A flash of amusement cut through the concern in Ianto's cloudy blue eyes.
"That's good. I'd hate to arrest you."
"I can't believe she got to me. Dammit, you'd think after all this time I'd be able to…" His voice trailed away. A line appeared between Ianto's brows, a question on his lips, but it wasn't one Jack wanted to answer. He silenced him with a kiss, the kinder, gentler cousin to the one they'd shared in the alley, but no less wrong. Lisa's death clung to Ianto like a powerful cologne, filling Jack's nostrils even as he tried to erase the scars of her passage with his lips and tongue, and selfishly pull out healing for himself, too.
Ianto pushed him slowly back by his shoulders. "Jack."
"I'm sorry," he said automatically. It seemed he was forever apologizing to Ianto.
"Time, Jack. You just can't…I need a friend…"
"I can be that," he answered quickly. And he could, he could be perfectly friendly, and wait and watch until he could have more. Surely he could do that.
"Good, because." Ianto's jaw clenched, and Jack knew exactly what he wasn't saying, as they were the same words he hadn't been saying for a long time - I can't do this alone.
"Jack?" Toshiko's voice sounded from out in the hall. Jack pulled reluctantly away, his hand falling from Ianto's neck, his fingers unclenching and smoothing down Ianto's waistcoat.
"In here," he called back. There was something in his throat, choking him. One glance at Ianto, quickly composing himself, his eyes a bit wild, told Jack it was probably his heart.
Toshiko appeared in the doorway, Gwen Cooper at her elbow. She gave Jack a crooked little smile, and Jack couldn't resist smiling back despite Suzie, despite Ianto and his own tangled feelings. He'd found a friend for life in PC Gwen Cooper. It'd been a while since that had happened for him. Not since Toshiko, really.
"Did you find what you were looking for?" Toshiko asked.
Jack snorted. "No. I don't think even Suzie could explain things…anyhow. Have you come to collect her?"
Toshiko shook her head. "Not just yet. We'll leave in the morning. It's already rush hour out there, and we're exhausted. Better to leave at first light."
"I'm going to take Ianto back to London tonight," Jack declared, deciding right then. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Ianto start, then visibly relax. It was the right thing to do, the friendly thing.
Toshiko bit her lip. "Will you…call me if you need anything?"
Jack felt a surge of warmth toward her for not asking Ianto if he'd be okay. It was obvious that wasn't on the table, at least for quite a while.
"Of course, Tosh," Ianto answered. "We're partners."
Jack looked away from their awkward hug and goodbyes.
"You'll be watching Suzie for me, right, Cooper?" he asked quietly, crossing over to stand beside her. "Don't pay attention to her ramblings, if you want to sleep soundly."
"Trust me, I'll turn a deaf ear to her, and I'll let you know if she so much as scratches her nose," Gwen promised. She stuck out her hand, and Jack shook it, his fingers completely engulfing hers. Déjà vu all over again. "Thank you for catching me," she said formally.
"Any time, Gwen Cooper."
He glanced back at the women as he led Ianto from the room. Their heads were bent toward each other, serious expressions on their faces. If nothing else, this case had brought them together. Jack could sense that would be a strong alliance. He held his hand protectively at the small of Ianto's back to direct him down the halls. Perhaps he and Ianto could also be a strong alliance, if they could look beyond their inner demons.
They left Cardiff in silence. The M4 stretched in front of them, choked with traffic, but it was nothing compared to the host of spirits in their SUV. Jack cut his eyes at Ianto, hunched against the passenger side door, gazing unseeing out at the gray day. He wondered if Ianto could feel them, the ghosts that followed close behind, crowding the backseat and trailing in the fumes from the exhaust pipe.
If he drove fast enough, would they be able to escape? Or would Lisa, Alex, all the others, always dog their path, no matter how much time passed? Jack fixed his eyes on the road and kept his brooding to himself.
The sun poked its head up from behind a cloud as they crossed the border, a final flare before it fell into the horizon. Jack rolled his shoulders, working out the kinks, and looked over at Ianto once more. The other man was asleep, the fog of dreams smoothing out the lines in his forehead and making him appear almost carefree. Jack's lips quirked up in a smile. Ianto's hand lay palm-side up on his knee. Jack reached over and squeezed it, letting go quickly, but not before receiving a squeeze in return.
They picked up speed, ghosts falling to dust behind them.
Part Ten