Title:hic manebimus optime (here we'll stay excellently)
Author:
blue_eyed_1987Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Merlin/Arthur
Beta(s): With many thanks to silverwings2020 for the beta and brainstorming
Summary: Modern AU. Written for
uni_merlin. Merlin is a med student, with all the workload and stress that degree comes with. Arthur is a law student, with his own hefty workload. Can the two of them fit a relationship into their lives?
Over on Ao3 "He’s doing a degree in medicine?" Leon asked as he stopped by a row of seats and sat down, sliding along to make room for Arthur.
"Yeah," Arthur replied, sitting down and pulling out his notes.
"They have crazy workloads, no spare time, stressed all the while," Leon says. "I’m just saying, it might be harder than the dating you did at school."
"We’ll have candlelit meals in the library," Arthur said as the lecturer walked in. "It’s only a date, it’s not like I’m proposing or anything."
~~~
That night, Arthur wiped his hands on his jeans as he waited to be buzzed into Merlin’s flat. A girl who Arthur thought was called Gwen opened the door.
"Hi, I’m here for Merlin," he said.
"Hi, Arthur, isn’t it?" she asked, stepping back. "Come in, Merlin’s in the kitchen."
"Thanks." Arthur stepped inside the flat and followed Gwen down the hall.
The door to the kitchen was propped open and Merlin was sitting at the table, laughing loudly. Another girl with long hair was dancing to Rhianna, singing into her spatula, occasionally incorporating stirring her food into her routine. Arthur smiled too, distracted by the long line of Merlin’s throat. Merlin caught him looking and smiled back, flushing slightly.
"Hi," he said. "This mad lady is Freya, Freya, this is Arthur."
"So you’re Arthur. Heard a lot about you," she said, smiling.
"All good, I hope," Arthur said, glancing at Merlin, whose flush had darkened. Arthur was definitely going to ask about that.
"Let’s go, shall we?" Merlin asked.
"Let’s," Arthur replied.
~~~
"...And that’s why alcoholics can’t get it up," Merlin said, grinning as Arthur choked on his beer.
"Thanks for that," Arthur said once he could breathe again.
Merlin shrugged. "The more you know."
"I’ll keep that in mind. Is this going to be a thing - you sharing horrifying information with me every time I ask how your day went?"
"Possibly," Merlin replied. Arthur refrained from smacking his head on the table. Merlin just laughed, and Arthur couldn’t help but join in. He was distracted once more by the way Merlin laughed; his face scrunched up, and a flush spread across his cheeks. Arthur let himself look, openly. Merlin caught him looking, then looked down at his food, but Arthur could see him smiling.
Arthur brought them a round of drinks after they finished their food, wanting to linger for a little bit. He felt incredibly relaxed, the conversation had flowed so easily between them (discussions of anatomy notwithstanding) that all his first date nerves has dissipated, leaving a warm flush of happiness in its place. Merlin seemed to feel the same, leaning forward slightly as they spoke.
Once they had finished, Arthur walked Merlin back to his halls. Merlin tripped over his feet and Arthur grabbed his arm instinctively, wanting to keep Merlin from face-planting against the floor. Merlin had just laughed, shaking his head at his own clumsiness and thanked Arthur. He slid his arm through Arthur’s grip, catching his hand and entangling their fingers. Arthur had frozen, staring at their interlocked hands, but had smiled up at Merlin, and they’d started walking again.
"I had fun tonight, thank you," Merlin said, once they had arrived at Merlin’s front door. He was grinning widely and Arthur didn’t think it was possible to make that line sound like anything other than a cop-out, but apparently Merlin could. "I want to invite you up."
"Yes," Arthur said, a shock of anticipation running through him.
"But," Merlin continued, "I’ve got a full day on tomorrow - nine til six - I really should get an early night. I do want to though," he finished, looking a little sheepish.
"That’s - yeah, fair enough," Arthur said, reigning in his lust. He was disappointed but he was also a big boy and could cope with a postponement of sex.
"I’ll text you tomorrow, yeah?" Merlin said. Arthur pulled Merlin forward and kissed him chastely.
"Yeah, goodnight, Merlin."
"Night," he replied, turned and walking into the building. Arthur watched him walk away, waving when Merlin turned back and headed back to his own hall.
~~~
Arthur was faffing around on twitter when Merlin’s name flashed up on his IM program. He smiled as he switched windows.
Merlin:
Hi!
Arthur:
Hi
Arthur:
You ok?
Merlin:
Yup, you?
Arthur:
Yeah, ta. Managed to finish my essay, so am having an evening off.
Merlin:
Excellent.
Arthur:
How about you?
Merlin:
Ugh. Got a lab to write up. Then notes and stuff.
Arthur let out a sigh. He knew that Merlin’s course had a heavy workload, but that didn’t stop him from being disappointed at Merlin’s response.
Arthur:
:( Can’t distract you at all?
Merlin:
...let me get my lab written up, then I’ll see? I could be persuaded. Maybe
Arthur started to hope. He flexed his fingers over the keyboard, wanting to keep the banter light, but also not wanting to pass this opportunity up.
Arthur:
I’d even come to you. And bring snacks?
There was a Spar on the way to Merlin’s halls. He could pick up some Doritos and chocolate biscuits. Arthur was not above bribery and an excuse to eat chocolate biscuits.
Merlin:
You are very persuasive. I knew getting involved with a lawyer would end badly
Arthur:
So it’s working?
Arthur typed out his question, anticipation curling in his stomach.
Merlin:
let me get this lab written up
Arthur:
:D
Merlin:
Not a yes yet :P I’ll poke you when I’m done
Merlin is offline
Arthur grinned; he was winning that argument.
An hour later, his computer beeped at him. Arthur jumped and scrambled to open the IM window.
Merlin:
I’m done, if you were still interested in coming over?
Arthur wasn’t even going to try to play it cool.
Arthur:
I’ll be there in 15, yeah?
Merlin:
I’ll be waiting ;)
Arthur swallowed hard and signed off. He grabbed a jacket and his wallet, keys, and phone. His nerves jangled as he walked out of his room.
"Off out lads!" He shouted as he passed the kitchen.
"Tell Merlin we say hi," Leon shouted back. Gwaine started catcalling. Arthur ignored them and locked the door behind him. The cold air was a shock, making him gasp and shove his hands deep into his pockets.
He got to the shop and wandered down the aisles, debating over snacks. On a shelf, tucked away into a corner, were boxes of condoms. Arthur paused, feeling himself flush. He didn’t want to presume, they’d only been dating a couple of weeks after all, but at the same time, it always helped to be prepared? He waffled for a bit before deciding to get a small box. They’d fit in his pocket and Merlin would never have to know if they didn’t end up needing them.
He tried not to blush as cashier scanned his purchases, but the lady behind the till barely blinked, just asking him if he needed a bag.
Happy with his purchases, he walked out of the shop and towards Merlin’s building.
~~~
Merlin was dressed in sweats and a uni teeshirt. He looked relaxed, happy, and Arthur leaned in to kiss him.
"Hi," Merlin murmured, lifting a hand to tangle in the hair at the nape of Arthur’s neck.
"Hi," Arthur replied. He knew he had a silly grin on his face but he couldn’t bring himself to care. "I brought you snacks, as promised." He lifted the plastic bag. Merlin grinned and took it off him, digging in immediately.
"Come on," Merlin said, turning to walk down the hall. "You want tea or anything?"
"I’m good, thanks," Arthur replied, walking into Merlin’s room. He slipped off his jacket, anticipation ratcheting up a notch as he remembered the condoms in his pocket.
"Oh, good," Merlin said, dropping the bag onto his desk and pulling Arthur in for another kiss. They stumbled a bit, Arthur’s hands jumping to Merlin’s waist to keep him steady. Merlin laughed softly, a breath huffed against Arthur’s mouth.
Arthur was too distracted by the warmth of Merlin’s skin through the teeshirt to take much notice. He moved his hand down to slip under Merlin’s teeshirt, pausing as Merlin gasped.
"It’s fine, your hands are just cold," Merlin said, moving to tug at Arthur’s clothes. Arthur grinned, shivering as Merlin’s knuckles dragged up his sides as his teeshirt was removed. He barely had time to blink before Merlin was plastered against him, nipping at the skin over his collarbone.
Arthur tucked his fingers under the waistband of Merlin’s sweats, groaning at the feel of Merlin’s warm skin against his own.
"I thought you wanted snacks?" Arthur asked, cupping Merlin’s arse.
"Want you more," Merlin replied, shoving the sweats down and holding onto Arthur as he stepped out of them.
"Right," Arthur said, swallowing hard at the sight of Merlin naked. He was lean, not as skinny as Arthur expected. Merlin flushed, all the way down his neck, and Arthur pulled Merlin closer again.
"Off," Merlin muttered against his mouth, tugging at Arthur’s belt. Arthur batted his hands out the way, unbuckling his belt and pushing his jeans down.
They stumbled to Merlin’s bed. Arthur shuddered at the feeling of Merlin’s cool sheets against his skin.
He gasped as Merlin wrapped a hand around his erection. Arthur rolled his hips upwards, pleasure sparking along his nerves as he fully hardened.
"Fuck," he breathed, turning to kiss Merlin sloppily. He managed to co-ordinate his hands enough to get his hand on Merlin’s cock, already wet at the head. Merlin groaned deeply, pressing closer.
They managed to settle into a rhythm, stroking each other steadily. Arthur felt sweat break out on his skin as his orgasm started to pool at the base of his spine. He thumbed at the head of Merlin’s cock, spreading the pre-cum there down the shaft. Merlin jerked, mumbling something into Arthur’s neck.
Arthur thrust into Merlin’s fist, gasping as he came. Merlin swore and came not long after, shuddering.
They lay, panting for a while, Arthur frowning at the feeling of Merlin’s come drying on his hand.
"Do you have-?" He mumbled, rolling on his side and lifting his hand.
"In the drawer."
Arthur opened the drawer of the bedside table and pulled out the box of tissues, cleaning up. Merlin did the same.
"Up," Merlin said, pulling himself up.
"What?"
"It’s cold, I want to get in bed," Merlin explained. Arthur nodded and stood up on shaky legs. Merlin pulled the covers back and climbed into bed.
"Staying?"
"Definitely," Arthur said, climbing into bed. Merlin instantly claimed Arthur’s shoulder as a pillow. Arthur rearranged until it was comfortable, then closed his eyes, content to enjoy the feeling of Merlin cuddled up next to him.
~~~
Arthur groaned as he registered the too bright sun filtering through the blinds straight into his face. He mumbled something that may have been ‘fucking sun’, but got lost somewhere between his brain and his mouth.
"Good morning to you, too," Merlin replied, sitting up. "Going to the loo," he said, stumbling out of bed and pulling a pair of boxers on and heading out the door. Arthur stretched, feeling warm and lazy. He could kill for a cuppa, and visions of the union cafe’s breakfast soon filled his head.
Merlin returned and lay back down on top of the covers. Arthur shifted closer and kissed him, feeling Merlin smile against his lips.
"So...how big are the showers here?" Arthur asked, stroking a hand down Merlin’s side.
"Not big enough for what you’re thinking of, unfortunately," he murmured, squirming as Arthur thumbed at his nipple.
"Hmm...shame," Arthur said, rolling onto his back and stretching. He wasn’t really aroused, just feeling hedonistic and lazy. Merlin kissed him again.
"Breakfast?"
"Yeah, union?" Arthur asked, sitting up.
"Sounds good," Merlin replied.
They pulled on clothing, Arthur frowning as he put on last night’s shirt - the sweat and greasy feeling of the pub and the club still stuck to the fabric.
"I’d offer you a shirt, but I’m not sure anything of mine would fit your shoulders," Merlin said, shrugging. He fiddled with his backpack, slinging it onto his back.
"I’ve got to keep up the skanky student stereotype somehow," Arthur said, shrugging. "Lax hygiene may as well be it."
"Got to take one for the team," Merlin says, nodding solemnly. "Come on, I’ll buy you a cuppa."
~~~
Arthur felt much more awake after a greasy breakfast and a good cup of tea. He and Merlin sat at one of the tiny tables, knees bumping against each other.
"So, what are your plans for today?" Arthur asked around a mouthful of toast.
"Ugh, I have a group project meeting," Merlin said. "The lecturer is using it as a sort of social, ‘get to know your year’ thing. It’s why I brought the bag," he finished.
"What’s your group like?" Arthur asked.
"They seem ok? But I hate group work."
"Is there an individual section?" he asked. Arthur always dreaded group work, there was always at least one person who was capable but apathetic. The concept of everyone getting equal credit for not necessary equal work always annoyed him.
"Yeah, the individual essay is worth as much as the group work, so that’s not too bad."
"What time’s the meeting?"
Merlin looked at his watch, "About half an hour. Hang out until then?"
Arthur nodded and swallowed his disappointment; he had envisioned spending the whole day with Merlin, maybe heading out of the town to the ruins that he hadn’t been able to get to yet. He wasn’t sure, but Arthur had an inkling that Merlin was a picnic person. Instead it looked like he’d be spending it around the flat.
Arthur dropped Merlin off at the library, Merlin kissing him goodbye and promising Arthur that he’d contact him as soon as he was done. Arthur watched him disappear inside the library, feeling a bit bereft, like Merlin was heading off for longer than the afternoon. Chastising himself for being over-dramatic, he shook the feeling off, and headed back to the flat.
~~~
Arthur rolled out of bed and booted up his laptop. He set BBC news running on iplayer in the background while he had a shower. His IM program started up automatically, and he glanced at it, smiling when he saw Merlin’s name. They had just passed their three month anniversary. He felt slightly silly keeping count, but it was his first ‘proper’ relationship, and the novelty of the whole thing hadn’t quite worn off.
Arthur:
Morning. Didn’t expect you to be awake so early.
Merlin:
...so it is.
Merlin:
May not have actually slept yet. whoops?
Arthur rolled his eyes at Merlin’s response.
Arthur:
idiot
Merlin:
I got carried away! I was working then Freya was making midnight cheese and ham toasties
Merlin:
then I had to stay up so I didn’t get cheese nightmares, so did more work.
Merlin:
and here I am.
Arthur:
Did you manage to get work done?
Merlin:
A lot, I think. Will check it over when I’ve slept. make sure it’s coherent.
Arthur:
...So I take it you’re probably not going to be awake at lunchtime?
Arthur sent his question, biting his lip. He had made plans to meet Merlin later on in the day, but if he had stayed awake the whole night, Arthur might have a very sleepy Merlin on his hands. Arthur knew that Merlin was adorable when he was sleepy, but it didn’t make for quality time together.
He sighed and read Merlin’s answer.
Merlin:
...shit. Shit I totally forgot.
Bingo Arthur thought. He had resigned himself to Merlin being a bit flakey, he found a lot of it endearing, but Merlin had - and it sounded ridiculously over dramatic - forgotten about him. Forgotten they had planned to spend time together.
Merlin:
Shit. Are you free tonight?
Arthur:
I was planning on doing some work, but I can do that at lunchtime instead, maybe? Then sort out something tonight.
Merlin:
Only if you can. Shit. I’m sorry.
Arthur knew he should accept the apology, the alternative plans and move on, but it stung a little.
Arthur:
Should be fine - want to come over? I can text you when I’m free.
Merlin:
Sure. I really am sorry.
Arthur:
It’s fine. I’ve got to go, got a lecture in an hour.
Merlin:
See you later x
Arthur:
bye x
Arthur was tempted to not get all the work done, and tell Merlin that they’d have to rearrange, but that would be petty, and not seeing Merlin would be just as much punishing himself as Merlin, so he holed up in the library at lunch and worked through his essay steadily.
That night, he texted Merlin.
From: Arthur
To: Merlin
I’m free whenever you want to pop over.
Merlin replied in record time. He must’ve been waiting by the phone.
From: Merlin
To: Arthur
You eaten? Could get chinese on the way there, my treat obvs x
From: Arthur
To: Merlin
Can I have chicken fried rice and some prawn toast, please? x
From: Merlin
To: Arthur
Your wish, etc x
Twenty minutes later and Merlin appeared at his door, plastic bag in hand. He smiled tentatively as he hovered in Arthur’s doorway.
"Gwaine let me in," he said. Arthur smiled and stood up.
"Need to get plates, come in, make yourself comfortable." He walked past Merlin, pausing to kiss him. Merlin blinked then grinned widely. Arthur felt a smile tugging at his own lips.
"Am I forgiven then?"
"You can make it up to me later," Arthur replied. Merlin’s grin turned to a smirk and he fondled Arthur’s arse as he walked away.
"I’m sure I can."
They sat on Arthur’s bed, knees knocking together as they ate. They watched a couple of episodes of Buffy as they ate, Merlin singing loudly along to Once More With Feeling.
"I really am sorry," Merlin said again, when they had finished their food, and Merlin was lying, head in Arthur’s lap. "I’ll make a note on my calendar next time."
"Do you have a calendar?"
"I’ll get one. I’ll need something eye-catching, so I remember to look at it. Hey, how would you feel about posing-"
"No," Arthur said, poking Merlin on the nose when he pouted in response.
~~~
Arthur never really imagined himself the jealous type. He didn’t think he was needy, or clingy, either, but his relationship with Merlin was starting to make him feel that way. He could let go the odd unanswered text, and re-arranged date, but he was starting to get a bit fed up and hurt by it all.
Arthur decided to pull back a bit. He didn’t want to be petty, but he did want to be contacted for once. Plus he did actually have his own work to do, his degree had a pretty heavy workload. He hung out with Gwaine and Leon more, or went to the library in between lectures. He missed Merlin, that was undeniable, and he did send a couple of texts, but not the amount he had been sending at the beginning of their relationship
Arthur had caught Merlin looking at him a couple of weeks after he’d started pulling back, confused and hurt, but Merlin didn’t mention it, and Arthur didn’t bring it up. He was beginning to wonder if they were going to suffer a slow-burn break-up (and how he was going to react to that), when his phone beeped at him, signalling an incoming text.
To: Arthur
From: Merlin
Sorry havent been around. We shld tlk
Arthur’s heart thumped as he read the text.
To: Merlin
From: Arthur
Yeah, ok. When you free?
To: Arthur
From: Merlin
Am free all weekend, so whenevers good 4 u
To: Merlin
From: Arthur
Come over Saturday PM?
To: Arthur
From: Merlin
I’ll be there
Arthur had no idea why he specified saturday afternoon. He had delusions of getting stuff done in the morning, leaving the rest of the day - and a good portion of sunday - free to deal with whatever was coming. His stomach was tight, and he could barely stomach a piece of toast. He shut himself in his room, clicking around the internet aimlessly. He didn’t want his flatmates asking what was going on.
He jumped at the knock on his door. When he opened it, Merlin was standing there, wearing an actual shirt instead of the normal witty t-shirts. Arthur registered that he looked great, especially after not seeing him for a week. Merlin shifted nervously.
"Hi, sorry. Do you want to come in?"
Merlin nodded once, jerkily, and Arthur stepped back to let him in.
"Do you want a drink or anything?"
"Nah. I wanted to - talk?" Merlin said, wincing. Arthur swallowed hard, feeling shaky.
"Ok," He replied, and offered Merlin a seat.
Merlin sat at Arthur’s desk and picked up a hole punch, turning it over in his hands. Arthur sat on the bed.
"I - are we ok?" Merlin blurted, suddenly.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I haven’t heard from you in a while," Merlin started.
Arthur frowned. "I could say the same about you."
"I’ve been busy," Merlin pointed out.
"I know." Arthur sighed.
"What does that mean?" Merlin asked.
"Nothing. You’re busy, I get it."
"Well, I don’t. What’s wrong?"
"Nothing," Arthur said.
"Are you sure?" Merlin asked, biting his lip. "Because between this-" he gestured to encompass Arthur’s body. "and the lack of messaging, I’m wondering if you still want to be with me."
"Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not like you contacted me."
"Is that what this is about? I have a lot of work, Arthur, I thought you got that - you have a lot to do-"
"Yeah, but I still manage to make time for you," Arthur said. "Not counting yesterday, when was the last time you texted me first?"
"Thats not how - relationships aren’t a contest, you don’t keep count! You should talk to me if you have a problem. Were you planning on ignoring me until - what - we split up?"
"Maybe, yeah, because apparently you contacting me before that point isn’t an option!"
"So, what now?"
"I don’t know," Arthur said, because he wasn’t sure where they should go from there.
"Let me know when you do. I’m going to go." Merlin made an aborted movement as if he was going to say something else, but he just looked at Arthur, then walked out of his room, shutting the door behind him.
Arthur scooted back onto the bed and lay down, pushing his head into his pillows.
~~~
"You and Merlin break up?" Gwaine asked.
Arthur blew out a long breath. "Maybe, yeah."
"So that’s why have you got a face like a smacked arse."
"I haven’t - what does that even mean anyway?"
"You are being a mopey, grumpy bastard, is what it means," Gwaine said. "Seriously though, that sucks, Merlin is a top bloke, I thought you went well together."
"We did, just, too busy with uni and everything to actually be together," Arthur replied. The anger that had filled the previous two days had gone now, and had mostly replaced by an ache in the pit of his stomach.
"That’s because you’re both doing stupid degrees."
"Because Chemistry is a dosser’s game," Arthur retorts. Gwaine just shrugs. Arthur still can’t believe that someone like Gwaine was doing a hard science. "It’s just awkward, you know? We have different ways of working and exams are just after Easter. It’s probably for the best," Arthur finished, shrugging.
"That is a load of bollocks."
"Excuse you," Arthur started.
"You heard. Bollocks." Gwaine shook his head. "You have the best time management skills ever, and Merlin isn’t half as disorganised as he looks. I think you could make it work if you both made the effort and communicated like adults."
Arthur just shook his head, getting angry by Gwaine’s accusations. Gwaine had no idea - no right to be sticking his nose in. "That’s not - it’s more complicated than that."
"If you say so," Gwaine replied. "But you never seem to give up on anything, I’m not sure why you’re starting now."
"Its none of your fucking business, right?" Arthur said, storming out of the kitchen.
That night Gwaine and Leon dragged him out to the local club and poured an appropriate number of shots down his throat. They stumbled out of the club in the early hours and found an open chippy, stumbling home devouring cheesy chips.
Arthur fell asleep, head spinning.
~~~
Gwaine sought him out again the day after, when Arthur was feeling more human. He handed a mug of tea over and sank down in Arthur’s desk chair.
"So, I am aware I may have been a bit - harsh - yesterday," Gwaine said, looking down at his tea.
"Leon have words with you?" Arthur sniped. He knew Gwaine meant well, but the words still stung.
"He mentioned something," Gwaine replied, and Arthur smirked. "I don’t know the full story, but I still stand by my words - you and Merlin went well together."
"We did," Arthur said, softly. Gwaine looked at him, mouth twisting as if he was going to say something, but he thought better of it and just let out a long breath.
"If you ever need an ear, I’m here, right?"
"I know, thanks."
~~~
Arthur missed Merlin, was the thing. Even though it had been hard, he had still had fun with Merlin. The time they had spent together had been fun.
Occasionally he spotted Merlin around campus, and Arthur ducked around a corner or behind Leon as much as possible. When he hadn’t managed to hide, and Merlin had spotted him, he had smiled, sometimes offered a little wave. Arthur had waved back, or nodded, not wanting to ignore Merlin outright but unwilling to make conversation.
"I still think you should talk to him," Leon commented, once Merlin and Gwen had disappeared around a corner. Arthur frowned. Leon and Gwaine had become a tag team of sorts, comforting and prodding him in turn.
"I - yeah, maybe," Arthur sighed. Leon blinked in shock.
"I wasn’t expecting you to agree," Leon said.
"I’ve been thinking, and yeah, you’re right. Gwaine too. Don’t tell Gwaine I said that, though."
"Wouldn’t dream of it," Leon replied, laughing. "But seriously, you going to try and make up?"
"I think it’s worth a shot," Arthur said. He knew that he hadn’t handled things well, Merlin’s words about relationships being the work of two people had hit the mark. He wanted to see if he and Merlin could make it work properly.
Arthur wasn’t looking forward to the first conversation, but he was willing to at least send a text, see what the response was.
It took him about five attempts to get a text that he was willing to send.
From: Arthur
To: Merlin
This is a bit out of the blue, but, fancy a coffee?Want to talk, if you want to.
To: Arthur
From: Merlin
Sure. Union?
To: Merlin
From: Arthur
Yeah, tomorrow ok? Got a lecture til 2, can meet just after that?
Arthur knew that Merlin had a lecture that finished the same time, and not anything for the rest of the day, just like Arthur, so Arthur was hoping Merlin would be free.
To: Arthur
From: Merlin
Sounds good. I’ll meet you there.
Arthur read the text and took a deep breath. He couldn’t really read anything from the texts, there was no inflection to interpret. He threw the phone on his desk and took a deep breath. All he could do was wait.
~~~
"Hi," Merlin said.
"Hi, Merlin," Arthur replied. This was far more awkward than he’d imagined. They’d arranged to meet in the union cafe - neutral ground, easy escape if things were to go wrong.
The silence that fell was awkward and Arthur started fiddling with his coffee.
"How have you been?" he asked, wincing slightly.
"Busy," Merlin said, shrugging. "The usual. You?"
"Yeah, good, thanks." Arthur swallowed, trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say. "I’ve missed you," he said, suddenly. It wasn’t the smoothest of starts but it was the truth.
"I’ve missed you, too," Merlin replied. "I -" he broke off. "Why did you text me?"
"Because I wanted to speak to you, to apologise."
"Right," Merlin said, frowning.
"I could’ve handled things better?" Arthur tried, and got a smile smile in reward.
"It would’ve been better if you’d spoken to me about what was going on," Merlin agreed. Arthur felt himself flush, feeling uncomfortable. Merlin frowned and wrapped his hands around the mug in front of him. "But I should’ve been more - present."
"Pro-active," Arthur said.
"Yeah, that," Merlin said, smiling softly. "You and your posh words."
"Pro-active isn’t a posh word!"
"It kind of is," Merlin replied.
"Yeah, ok, maybe," Arthur said, shaking his head. He had missed this, missed how easy it was to be with Merlin. He snuck a glance up at Merlin and saw a small smile on his face, and felt hope stir. "Would it...would it be crazy to talk about getting back together?"
"Wow, ok. I wasn’t expecting that," Merlin said.
"I mean, if not then I’ll just go and we’ll never discuss this again," Arthur said, pushing his mug away, getting ready to go. He felt nauseous, because Merlin was frowning, and that wasn’t the reaction Arthur was going for, really.
"Hang on, Arthur. Just, give me a minute." Merlin reached out and wrapped his hand around Arthur’s wrist, holding him in place. Arthur looked down at Merlin’s hand, biting his lip. Merlin’s fingers were cool against his skin. Merlin coughed and moved his hand away. "Sorry, I just. I was expecting a can-we-be-friends conversation, not a can-we-get-back-together one."
"Oh, sorry," Arthur said, settling back down.
"I want to," Merlin said. "I want to try again, but we’ll have to talk, I guess. Make sure we can make it work."
"Yeah." Arthur bit back a grin. He knew there would have to be an awkward conversation or two, but he was feeling optimistic.
~~~
It wasn’t as easy as the conversation in the cafe had suggested. They talked, a lot, over meals, drinks, more episodes of Buffy. Arthur had never spent so long trying to discuss his feelings and needs. The fact that he and Merlin were discussing needs was something that Arthur could barely get his head around, but it made him hopeful that they could make this work this time, if they put in the work.
The make-up sex more than made up for all the talking, though.
Arthur woke up to texts that Merlin had sent at 3am wishing him good morning, Arthur brought Merlin lunch if he’d been studying all day. They agreed that Wednesday evenings would be their time, and it didn’t matter if it was a night curled up watching tv, or a surprise picnic, they made sure their diaries were clear.
Arthur still refused to pose for a calendar, though.
~~~
Merlin’s room was full of books. Under his bed he had three cardboard boxes full of his favourites, ones he couldn’t bear not to have with him. Tattered second-hand copies of Terry Pratchett, Michael Marshall Smith, and Neil Gaiman that rarely saw the light of day, but Merlin said they made him feel less homesick.
His shelves and desk were covered in textbooks - at any one time he had about five books out of the library in addition to his extensive collection. Arthur often had to shift a tome or two to find somewhere to sit.
One day he’d brought his laptop over - one of their compromises was that they would study together at least once a week. Merlin’s room was a comfortable quiet place for Arthur to study, and Arthur would make sure that Merlin stopped and ate food at appropriate meal times.
He’d not even blinked at the pile of books on the bed, he’d just shifted them onto Merlin’s pillow and got on with his work.
One of the books he had moved was titled Medical Ethics and Law. Arthur picked it up, interest piqued, and a change was a good as a break, so he started to read. It was dry, as all textbooks were, but it was still interesting to see the law written for the other side, and how it intersected with the things he had learned, and was going to learn.
He flicked through to the chapters that seemed the most interesting, reading until he eventually realised that the clicking of Merlin’s keyboard had stopped.
Arthur looked up from the book to find Merlin staring at him.
"Yes?" he asked.
"You’re reading one of my books," Merlin said.
"Yes, but it’s a law book, that makes it half relevant to me." Arthur shut the book.
"You can tutor me, when I get to that module. I can’t understand the legalese at all." Merlin shook his head. "I can’t decide if there’s too much Latin, or not enough."
"I’ll be your lawyer, you’ll be fine," Arthur said, shrugging.
"Would you?"
"Sure. As long as you’re not planning on breaking any laws."
"Spoilsport," Merlin replied, standing up and stretching. "Time for a break?" he asked, looking at his watch.
Arthur smiled and nodded. Merlin took the book out of Arthur’s hands and dropping it onto the bedside table, pushing Arthur to lie flat on the bed with the other hand.
~~~
Merlin walked into Arthur’s room and collapsed face down on the bed.
"I’m dead. My brain has dribbled out of my ears." His voice was muffled by the duvet.
"Last exam went well then?" Arthur asked.
Merlin groaned and rolled over, Arthur sat down on the bed next to him.
"I think so, but ugh, exhausting."
"But we’re all done now," Arthur said, leaning down for a kiss. "We have a whole three days before we leave."
"We do!" Merlin said, grinning.
"Gwaine’s organised a night out tomorrow," Arthur said.
"Sounds good. I need to pack, but I can do most of that tomorrow. My mum has insisted on meeting you, by the way."
Arthur blinked.
"Really?"
"Yes, she wants to meet my ‘young lawyer man’," Merlin said.
"Ok, that’s fine," Arthur said slowly, mind already coming up with many different ways that the meeting could go horribly wrong.
"Don’t worry about it," Merlin said. "My mum’s laid back, she’ll be happy that I’m happy. I was thinking, you could stay over tomorrow night, and then you’ll be there when my mum arrives. We could have breakfast together?"
"Fine, ok."
"Good." Merlin beamed, and kissed Arthur again. "Can’t believe we’ve done a whole year."
"I know, it feels weird. But it kind of feels like i’ve been doing this forever."
"Next year’s going to be even more work," Merlin said quietly, after a pause.
"Yeah, it is. There’s nothing we can’t cope with, between us though," Arthur said, pulling Merlin close. Now he knew they could do it, and they had a system, he wasn’t willing to give Merlin up easily.
"Yeah," Merlin said, beaming.