To Save A Shattered Soul - Chapter 1
Title: To save a shattered soul
Author: BloodOrigen
Rating: PG-13
Beta: Marie-France
Spoilers: Up to Lost Boys I think not sure yet but will put that just incase it does.
Disclaimer: I don’t any of these characters…but if David Hewlett would like to donate himself and his character Rodney McKay to the Michelle foundation…be my guest. I do though own a couple of the crew of the Daedalus because I made them up.
Summary: “Now she knew why Rodney’s eyes were always hollow, he was drowning in his own guilt with no one to pull him out of the water.” SLASH McShep eventually (hinted at mostly in this chapter)
Rodney McKay knew a few things were certain in life. He knew that the theories of physics were absolute, even though they didn’t comprehend them in their entireties yet. He knew that he was a genius and with that came its own set of expectations and responsibilities. He knew that people were inherently stupid unless given a purpose. And last he knew that the universe was against him.
A few weeks ago, while standing on this same balcony, he though he had finally proven that last on wrong but it was all too good to be true. Funny enough it was the first truth that did him in, which brought him to another thing he was good at. Like Dr Jackson, Rodney had perfect the art of being ‘Just Fine’ and no one was any wiser. The trick was to never say ‘I’m fine’ or anything of that nature, the trick was to complain about everything else.
Rodney sighed and looked down at the water. A month ago, to the day, was when the events at the ancient outpost had occurred and no one had forgotten it. No one trusted him, that was obvious and it wasn’t what irked him. It was the snide remarks behind his back that people though he couldn’t here, and the ‘accidental’ pushing when someone walked by….It was high school all over again. That was why he was currently standing on the edge of the balcony on the far side of Atlantis, where no one visited, looking down at the water. In his hand lay three pieces of paper, one addressed to him and the other two addressed to Lt. Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Weir.
The door to the balcony opened and a figure walked out and stood next to Rodney. For a couple of minutes silence reigned between the two. Finally Rodney opened his mouth to say something.
“Is their anything you wanted Lt. Cadman?”
Laura stared at Rodney for a second as if judging him.
“Nothing really, I just came out here to get some air and away from the rather depressing mood of people”
Rodney looked at Laura skeptically.
“On the other side of Atlantis…which is at least an hour out of your way? Why do I find that hard to believe?”
“It was a nice walk.”
They both fell silent again. Rodney finally pushed himself off the railing and sighed walking off the balcony and through the doors with his shoulders hunched.
Laura watched Rodney slowly run away from her. What had happened to the man she knew, the man who held his head up high even when others mocked his findings? Rodney was a genius; it didn’t take getting into someone’s mind to figure that out, even everyone on the Daedalus knew of his accomplishments (I mean a atomic bomb in the 6th grade), and because of this his work was his passion, his fun. Even in the worst of situations, there was usually a spark in his eyes that no one could turn out and a contagious thirst for knowledge but lately there was nothing. No spark, no frantic energy, just nothing.
Cadman turned her eyes away from the water and walked to the door. Silently it opened for her and shut again once she had walked in. Slowly she walked back towards the mess hall thinking about the look in Rodney’s eyes. They looked hollow as if something was eating at his soul. She knew the felling and the look too well. Dr. Jackson had worn it more than once but there had always been someone there to pick up the pieces, namely one Jack O’Neill.
As she reached the mess hall she finally realized why Rodney’s eyes were always hollow. There sitting at a table in the mess were four people, Teyla, Ronan, Dr. Weir, and Colonel Sheppard. All of them were laughing and talking to each other as a group. A group which, in her eyes, was missing one person. Rodney was left to drown in his own guilt; no one cared to pull him out. They had done the one thing that went against the main principal General Jack O’Neill had laid down as a Colonel, ‘never leave anyone behind’.
Grabbing a tray, she started placing her food on it. Someone calling her name broke her out of her reverie.
“CADMAN! OVER HERE!”
Her head whipped around to see a couple of people from the crew of the Daedalus calling her over. She didn’t know they were here. She looked down at her watch and looked back up in surprise. She walked over, dropped her tray on the table they had claimed and gave each of them a hug.
“I didn’t know you were coming in this early.”
A smirk appeared on the man’s face with a captain’s ranking on his BDU’s
“You mean you forgot. Come on Cadman, out with it, what’s grabbed your attention this time?”
“Nothing Alex, what makes you think that?”
“The way you were standing inline just staring at the wall.” He said bluntly and sat down.
Laura huffed, sat down, and began picking at her food with her fork. She looked at each of them, deliberating if she should tell them. First there was Lt. Brian Donovan, dark hair, dark eyes, and mysteriously quiet by nature, he was the shortest of the bunch only reaching 5’9”. 2nd Lt. Cassie Ainsworth was sitting next to him, dark hair, green eyes, and a southern attitude to rival any marine; she was one you never wanted to cross. Last but not least was Captain Dray, otherwise known as Alex, standing at 6’1”, blond hair, blue-green eyes, he lead his team with SG-1’s principle rule, “never leave anyone behind.” These three plus herself at one time were the tactical division the Daedalus sent out if they found something new. That is until she was transferred to Atlantis for awhile. She watched them all looking at her for a moment.
“Why do I have a feeling your not just here for a social visit?”
A collective groan was heard from the group, Brian’s head smacked against the table and a muffled voice was heard.
“Cadman can’t you ever not change the subject.”
Laura blinked. “Me???”
She looked at the group again and sighed. She took one sparing glance at the table she was watching before and then looked back to Brian, Alex, and Cassie.
“I think there’s a problem….”
Meanwhile from one of the balconies on Atlantis, a piece of paper floated down onto the water. As it hit the water it slowly opened.
McKay,
Sometimes you should take the hint that you are not wanted. No one wants to see you; no one wants to hear from you. Why Sheppard sees you as an asset on his team is beyond me. Why don’t you just stay in your room and cause no more trouble for the rest of us.
Signed
_______________
Author: BloodOrigen
Rating: PG-13
Beta: Marie-France
Spoilers: Up to Lost Boys I think not sure yet but will put that just incase it does.
Disclaimer: I don’t any of these characters…but if David Hewlett would like to donate himself and his character Rodney McKay to the Michelle foundation…be my guest. I do though own a couple of the crew of the Daedalus because I made them up.
Summary: “Now she knew why Rodney’s eyes were always hollow, he was drowning in his own guilt with no one to pull him out of the water.” SLASH McShep eventually (hinted at mostly in this chapter)
Rodney McKay knew a few things were certain in life. He knew that the theories of physics were absolute, even though they didn’t comprehend them in their entireties yet. He knew that he was a genius and with that came its own set of expectations and responsibilities. He knew that people were inherently stupid unless given a purpose. And last he knew that the universe was against him.
A few weeks ago, while standing on this same balcony, he though he had finally proven that last on wrong but it was all too good to be true. Funny enough it was the first truth that did him in, which brought him to another thing he was good at. Like Dr Jackson, Rodney had perfect the art of being ‘Just Fine’ and no one was any wiser. The trick was to never say ‘I’m fine’ or anything of that nature, the trick was to complain about everything else.
Rodney sighed and looked down at the water. A month ago, to the day, was when the events at the ancient outpost had occurred and no one had forgotten it. No one trusted him, that was obvious and it wasn’t what irked him. It was the snide remarks behind his back that people though he couldn’t here, and the ‘accidental’ pushing when someone walked by….It was high school all over again. That was why he was currently standing on the edge of the balcony on the far side of Atlantis, where no one visited, looking down at the water. In his hand lay three pieces of paper, one addressed to him and the other two addressed to Lt. Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Weir.
The door to the balcony opened and a figure walked out and stood next to Rodney. For a couple of minutes silence reigned between the two. Finally Rodney opened his mouth to say something.
“Is their anything you wanted Lt. Cadman?”
Laura stared at Rodney for a second as if judging him.
“Nothing really, I just came out here to get some air and away from the rather depressing mood of people”
Rodney looked at Laura skeptically.
“On the other side of Atlantis…which is at least an hour out of your way? Why do I find that hard to believe?”
“It was a nice walk.”
They both fell silent again. Rodney finally pushed himself off the railing and sighed walking off the balcony and through the doors with his shoulders hunched.
Laura watched Rodney slowly run away from her. What had happened to the man she knew, the man who held his head up high even when others mocked his findings? Rodney was a genius; it didn’t take getting into someone’s mind to figure that out, even everyone on the Daedalus knew of his accomplishments (I mean a atomic bomb in the 6th grade), and because of this his work was his passion, his fun. Even in the worst of situations, there was usually a spark in his eyes that no one could turn out and a contagious thirst for knowledge but lately there was nothing. No spark, no frantic energy, just nothing.
Cadman turned her eyes away from the water and walked to the door. Silently it opened for her and shut again once she had walked in. Slowly she walked back towards the mess hall thinking about the look in Rodney’s eyes. They looked hollow as if something was eating at his soul. She knew the felling and the look too well. Dr. Jackson had worn it more than once but there had always been someone there to pick up the pieces, namely one Jack O’Neill.
As she reached the mess hall she finally realized why Rodney’s eyes were always hollow. There sitting at a table in the mess were four people, Teyla, Ronan, Dr. Weir, and Colonel Sheppard. All of them were laughing and talking to each other as a group. A group which, in her eyes, was missing one person. Rodney was left to drown in his own guilt; no one cared to pull him out. They had done the one thing that went against the main principal General Jack O’Neill had laid down as a Colonel, ‘never leave anyone behind’.
Grabbing a tray, she started placing her food on it. Someone calling her name broke her out of her reverie.
“CADMAN! OVER HERE!”
Her head whipped around to see a couple of people from the crew of the Daedalus calling her over. She didn’t know they were here. She looked down at her watch and looked back up in surprise. She walked over, dropped her tray on the table they had claimed and gave each of them a hug.
“I didn’t know you were coming in this early.”
A smirk appeared on the man’s face with a captain’s ranking on his BDU’s
“You mean you forgot. Come on Cadman, out with it, what’s grabbed your attention this time?”
“Nothing Alex, what makes you think that?”
“The way you were standing inline just staring at the wall.” He said bluntly and sat down.
Laura huffed, sat down, and began picking at her food with her fork. She looked at each of them, deliberating if she should tell them. First there was Lt. Brian Donovan, dark hair, dark eyes, and mysteriously quiet by nature, he was the shortest of the bunch only reaching 5’9”. 2nd Lt. Cassie Ainsworth was sitting next to him, dark hair, green eyes, and a southern attitude to rival any marine; she was one you never wanted to cross. Last but not least was Captain Dray, otherwise known as Alex, standing at 6’1”, blond hair, blue-green eyes, he lead his team with SG-1’s principle rule, “never leave anyone behind.” These three plus herself at one time were the tactical division the Daedalus sent out if they found something new. That is until she was transferred to Atlantis for awhile. She watched them all looking at her for a moment.
“Why do I have a feeling your not just here for a social visit?”
A collective groan was heard from the group, Brian’s head smacked against the table and a muffled voice was heard.
“Cadman can’t you ever not change the subject.”
Laura blinked. “Me???”
She looked at the group again and sighed. She took one sparing glance at the table she was watching before and then looked back to Brian, Alex, and Cassie.
“I think there’s a problem….”
Meanwhile from one of the balconies on Atlantis, a piece of paper floated down onto the water. As it hit the water it slowly opened.
McKay,
Sometimes you should take the hint that you are not wanted. No one wants to see you; no one wants to hear from you. Why Sheppard sees you as an asset on his team is beyond me. Why don’t you just stay in your room and cause no more trouble for the rest of us.
Signed
_______________