Bliss In Emptiness - Chapter 1 (soulless!Sam/Ruby, NC-17)
Fic title: Bliss in Emptiness
Author name: monicawoe
Artist name: quickreaver
Genre: het
Pairing: soulless!Sam/Ruby, also featuring Dean Winchester, Meg, Eve, Crowley, Castiel, Raphael, the alpha vampire, Death
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~41K
Warnings: blood-drinking, gore, demonic true-forms,
Summary: As a reward for her loyal service, Lucifer brings Ruby back from death. When Sam throws himself into the Cage, Ruby slows his fall - just enough to grab a hold of his body, but not his soul. Together, they hunt the ever-increasing monster population and uncover evidence that Crowley and Castiel might not be as antagonistic as they seem. As the situation unfolds, Eve's interest in Sam piques and she gives him a gift that changes the very essence of what he is.
FIC MASTERPOST ART MASTERPOST
Ruby died by her own blade, by the magic of the dagger she'd had in her care since she'd first been sent topside after Azazel's death. The enchanted metal was instant death to all but five beings. She wasn't one of them. So when Dean ran her through while Sam held her, she knew it was the end.
Except that it wasn't. Her consciousness began to drift apart until only the key moments of her life remained, unspooling frame by frame. Her first kiss, her first spell, her first death, the first time she met Sam, the first time they fucked, the first time he drank her blood, and finally the last thing she ever saw: her God's power piercing into the world. It was the purest light she'd ever seen.
Lucifer's grace erupted from the chapel floor, so powerful that it tore apart nearly everything in its path. Ruby could see it pouring forth as the last flickers of her blackened soul watched from behind her vessel's dead eyes. Sam and Dean tried desperately to get away, but they were trapped. And then they vanished. Something had saved them.
The chapel shook as Lucifer roared in fury at his vessel's disappearance. In that moment Ruby felt his will close around her, forcing her back together, making her whole. You swore to serve me for all time.
I did.
Then, serve.
She felt herself, borrowed body and soul, dragged across the cold stone floor by a giant hand, closer and closer to Lucifer's terrible light. Just as the last of Him poured forth, she was pulled down, the gateway closed above her and everything was black.
She was there a long time; below the Earth and above Hell, her borrowed body frozen in time and darkness as her soul stayed cruelly, painfully aware. She couldn't see, and the only sound she heard was the deafening whisper of Lucifer when He chose to talk to her. He spoke to her three more times after pulling her back from the brink of death.
The first was when He visited Sam in his dreams. He is perfect.
The second wasn't even directed at her, it was a broadcast-all channels, all frequencies-from the deepest part of Hell, to the highest cloud in Heaven. A shout of triumph, an exultation. Yes.
She waited then for Lucifer's word, eager to be freed, eager to walk by His side as He set the world aflame. But she stayed where she was, trapped like an insect in amber. All she could do was imagine what it was like-Lucifer in Sam, crushing the world to ashes beneath His feet.
Why? Why won't you let me fight with you? she asked Him then, a desperate prayer to her God. Why am I still here?
You're the contingency plan.
Ruby was left alone, with nothing but the after-echo of His voice. Time passed, but she had no way to measure it, no sun from up above, and no screams from the souls of Hell below ticking off one agonizing second at a time. Her mind played back her memories, trying to fill the void with something, anything to remind her she was still there, that she still existed.
Her feet hurt as she ran through the forest, the normally soft needles of the pine trees like thorns underneath her soles. It was dawn, and the trickle of light coming through the trees wasn't enough to see very far.
Blinking through tears that wouldn't stop, she ran until her left foot caught on a root and sent her falling to the ground. Her head slammed into the cold earth and for a moment everything stopped.
When she looked up again, the wan light of the morning had gained strength. Enough that she could make out more of the trees around her. She pushed herself up to standing, looking down at her dirt-stained dress and her skinned knees. Father had said: go north to find the doctor. She clutched her hand around the small bag of coins hanging from her waist and walked towards the nearest tree, looking for moss.
She crouched down low to the ground and reached her hand out towards the trunk, not sure if the oddly colored patch she saw was moss or just a trick of the light. It was soft to the touch and she felt a slight flicker of hope. When she pulled her hand back, she saw one of her fingers was dripping red. It was bleeding, sliced open by a sharp rock. Trying to numb the pain, she brought the wound to her mouth and sucked on the cut. It stung, but the pain subsided quickly. She'd look for a few other trees and then head the way they pointed her. She could be at the doctor's within the hour if she hurried, then she could tell him what happened, give him the coins and he'd come back with her, and heal her father.
She put her hand against the trunk of the tree, wincing as she felt the cut in her palm open wider. There was a growl, something low but close. An animal. She whipped around, fearing a wolf had found her, or a bear, but saw nothing. Just the trees, and the slivers of sunlight between them.
To her left, there was a sound of pine-needles being crushed. Her heart hammered in her chest as she saw a large, grey leg reach out between two of the trees. A wolf then, she thought, though the paw itself was far too large for a wolf, but when the other leg came through and then the head, she knew she was wrong. She would have preferred a wolf. This thing-this beast, whatever it was-wasn't anything she'd seen before. It was as large as a bear and as broad, but its legs were long and lean. Its head looked like that of a great cat with amber eyes to match and above its ears were two large curling rams' horns. It growled again, and its breath left a white trail of smoke hanging in the air.
She gasped and stepped backwards, instinctively, trying to think. Wolves would chase you if you ran from them, she knew that much, but didn't know if it was true for bears, or whatever this was. She held up her hands and opened her mouth to speak, though she had no idea what to say.
The monster stepped forward crushing the soft forest-bed one slow step at a time beneath its large clawed feet.
Her eyes closed and she tried to remember the prayer her father had taught her. "Holy Mary, Mother of God, pr- pray for us sinners-" She felt the beast's breath on her knees as it moved closer to her, and squeezed her eyes shut, too terrified to keep them open. "-now and at the hour of our death." The snout of the Beast was warm as it pressed against her hand and her breath hitched as she waited for the inevitable.
Instead of the bite of razor-sharp teeth, something rough like sandpaper scraped over her palm. She was too confused and curious not to look, so she did. The monster's eyes were closed and it was licking her hand-gently, carefully, even.
She reached her other hand down to touch its head, running her finger across the curve of its left horn. The beast closed its mouth, looked up at her with its strange yellow eyes and vanished, like it had never been there at all.
The next time- the last time Lucifer spoke to Ruby, He sounded so close, so awfully close, she thought she could feel His power brushing ice-cold against her cheek. He only said one word: "Now."
Her prison disappeared instantly. She could see again, and what she saw was the blinding brilliance of two archangels wearing human bodies, about to hurtle past her. One of them was Sam, filled with Lucifer's grace. She reached out, grabbed his wrist, and watched, horrified and fascinated, as two suns fell out of his body and plummeted faster and faster down. One was Lucifer, and the other, much smaller, but just as bright, was a human soul. Sam's soul. She watched them disappear into the endless depths beneath her and felt a pang of despair. She wasn't sure if it was for Lucifer, or Sam.
There was a stuttering noise above her and when she looked up she could see the tear in the worlds growing smaller as the portal between Earth and Lucifer's cage began to close. She willed herself up, pulling Sam's body with her, and took them both to the closest shelter she could find-a small abandoned house a few miles away.
********
Sam, whatever part of him she'd brought back, was still alive. He stayed unconscious for hours. She'd laid him down on the bare mattress some previous squatters had been kind enough to leave behind. He breathed evenly and looked like he was sleeping. She'd tried waking him up a few times, said his name, even slapped him twice, but he stayed asleep just the same.
She was starting to wonder if Lucifer had meant for her to inhabit his vessel. But he wasn't empty. There was something inside of Sam-an awareness, a mind that felt a whole lot like him.
When he woke up, exactly six hours later, he looked at her and asked, "What happened?"
"I'm not really sure," she said. "You were falling into the cage. I saved you. Well, some of you."
"Some?" he didn't seem alarmed at all, just curious.
"I saw your soul fall. With Lucifer. But I caught the rest of you."
"Huh." He stood up and rolled his head to the left and right, then flexed his fingers experimentally. "I don't feel that different." He looked down at himself, at his blood-stained jacket and pulled it off, letting it fall to the dusty floor. Then he stuck his finger through the bullet hole in his over-shirt, unbuttoned it, and pulled it off, followed shortly thereafter by the t-shirt beneath. There was dried blood on his chest and a smudge along the side of his abdominals, but his skin was whole. "Where are we?"
"Some house."
"Think the water works?"
She shrugged.
He slipped out of his pants and went in search of the bathroom wearing only his briefs and socks.
Works for me, Ruby thought to herself, smiling just a little. She'd always thought Sam could stand to be a little less modest.
*******
After his shower, Sam came back out to her, completely naked and dripping water everywhere. "I don't have a towel."
"Nope," she smirked up at him. "But, thanks to me, you do have clean clothes." She pointed to the small pile of t-shirts and pair of jeans she'd swiped from a nearby strip mall while he'd been showering.
He crouched down and looked at the pile. "No underwear?"
"Ingrate. We can get you some later."
Sam slipped into the jeans and shook his head quickly, from side to side, sending water flying everywhere.
"Hey, watch it!" she yelled.
He grabbed a gray shirt from the pile and slipped it on, rolling his shoulders back to test the size. She probably should have gotten him the XL, but the L fit a lot better. It really did. The remaining wet patches on his skin soaked through the fabric, leaving a heart shaped pattern on his lower back.
"I'm hungry."
"Okay."
"Where are we? Anywhere near a diner?"
"There's a Chinese place a few blocks down." She stood up and walked closer to him. "Of course, we don't have any money…"
"Does that matter?"
"Nope."
*******
They ordered roast duck, string beans with garlic, sesame noodles and wine.
It almost felt like a date. The conversation wasn't really standard date material, but the restaurant was nearly empty, so nobody gave them funny looks.
"So what happened after I died?" she asked, twirling a noodle onto her fork.
"You don't know?" Sam raised an eyebrow. "Lucifer brought you back, right? I figured you saw the whole thing."
"Didn't really work out that way," she chewed on her lip. "I couldn't see anything the whole year, I was just kind of…in a holding cell, I guess."
"Sounds boring."
"Yeah," she shrugged, "…but I was where I needed to be when you fell." She watched his face for a reaction of some sort, but it was neutral, his focus on the food on his plate. "What do you remember?" she asked.
"About what? Being Lucifer?"
She nodded.
He shrugged and pierced a string bean with his fork. "Not much. I was trying to fight him for control at first, but…" He shook his head and his lips quirked slightly. "…imagine an ant trying to hold off a tidal wave, and you'll get the idea."
"He's our God for a reason," she said, quietly. "So how'd you do it? Did somebody push you? Did Michael-"
"I pulled Michael down with us. He was using Adam as a vessel."
"Adam your half-brother? The one you said got eaten by ghouls."
"That's the one."
"But how? You can't just pull an archangel somewhere they don't want to go."
Sam looked up at her thoughtfully. "Dean showed up and no matter what Lucifer did, he wouldn't give up. He wouldn't leave. He just kept saying he was there for me. I broke through. Either that or Lucifer let me take over."
"Huh." What else could she say to that, really? "Speaking of, when are you planning on checking in on Dean?"
"I'm not."
If the table they were sitting at suddenly came alive and started dancing, she'd have been less surprised than she was at that moment.
"Your brother, your always-joined-at-the-hip brother…you don't want to make sure he's okay?"
"He's fine. I made him promise to move on, not to try to get me out." Sam furrowed his brow for a moment. "He probably will anyway. But he won't get anywhere."
Ruby stared at him. "So you don't want to go say hi? Tell him you're okay?"
"If I do that, we'll be right back where we started. If he got out of the life…he should stay out."
"Okay. Fine. Just thought I'd ask." She ate a piece of roast duck and chewed it thoughtfully. "So, what do you want to do?"
"Hunt." His mouth curved into something like a smile. "There's always things that needs killing."
"We need weapons."
"And somewhere to put them. A car with a big trunk." He finished the last of the water in his cup. "There's a used car lot down the highway, I think."
"Meet you there?" she asked.
"Meet you there," Sam said. He excused himself to go use the bathroom, slipped out the back door instead, and Ruby vanished, waiting for him at the Lawrence Dodge Dealership.
Sam picked out a Charger, and Ruby distracted the two salesmen while he slipped away for a test drive. When they caught on, Ruby knocked them out-one with a punch, one with a kick to the head. Then she joined Sam in the Charger.
"I like it," she said, running her hand over the pleather of the seat.
"Gets good mileage."
"Weapons?"
"Yup. I know this highway. There's an Army Surplus store ten miles from here. We'll stock up there. Pick up some underwear, too."
She stuck her tongue out at him.
They got all the basics they needed that night just after the Surplus Store closed, and went back on the road. Sam started heading north, on a whim, from what Ruby could tell.
He pulled over at a rest stop and picked up a local paper. A few minutes later he pointed at a headline on page three. "Werewolf."
"Yeah?"
"Missing heart."
"Wrong moon phase, though. This happened two days ago."
"Maybe this one can change at will?"
"We'll need silver."
"Pawn shop's a good bet."
"We'd still have to melt it down though."
Sam made a sharp left and took a u-turn. "Drugstore back this way."
"Drugstore?"
"Yeah, I've got an idea. Something I always wanted to try, actually."
His idea turned out to be colloidal silver.
They picked up syringes along with the liquid silver and she filled them while he drove. They pulled over at the side of the road near the farm where he suspected the werewolf was holing up and filled some of the shotgun shells with the suspension as well, blending it with rock salt.
"Tasty."
"Mm. Should hurt like a bitch. Even if it doesn't kill it, it'll slow it down." He loaded his shotgun and pocketed three of the syringes, leaving her with the other seven and a spare Bowie knife. She missed her blade, but she'd get it back, eventually.
"You really want to do this at night?" she asked.
"Yeah, it'll be easier to-" Sam brought his hand to the bridge of his nose and clenched his eyes shut, repressing a wince of pain. "- figure out it's really a werewolf that way."
"You okay?"
"I'm fine. Just a headache." He grabbed his machete from the trunk and slid the false bottom back into place, hiding their newly acquired arsenal. "Let's go."
It might have just been a headache, but that seemed unlikely. If she was right, it was the first sign of demon-blood withdrawal. She hadn't broached the subject yet because she had no idea how this new Sam would react. She'd have to mention it at exactly the right moment. Or, if she had her way, she wouldn't have to mention it at all. He'd come to her.
They walked slowly towards the old barn. It had been empty for years, the last farmhouse in the area. Far enough away to not draw attention, but close enough to get to the more populated areas nearby easily on four legs. She smelled them when they were about fifty feet away. Them, not it. "There's more than one."
"Good. One would've been too easy, anyway." Sam picked up his pace, and started moving towards the left side of the barn.
"They'll hear us, you know," she whispered under her breath.
"I'm counting on it. When they come for me, I'll keep 'em busy, and you can give them their shots."
"That plan sucks, Sam."
"You got a better one?" he smirked.
Smirked. He was enjoying himself.
She ran after him and vanished as soon as she saw the first amber eyed, sharp-toothed human bounding towards them on arms and legs. With perfect precision, she stepped into the world again right behind the werewolf about to tackle Sam and wrapped her arm around its throat.
Sam raised his machete, ready to block and took a step back.
She pushed the plunger on the syringe and sent the silver streaming into the werewolf's throat. It let out an angry noise-half-scream, half-yelp and started thrashing violently in her grip. She let go and pushed herself out of the way as Sam brought his machete slicing through the air. He severed the werewolf's head and had just enough time to bring his blade back up as the next two ran at them.
Ruby shook her head. "I can't get both of them at once, Sam."
"Then just get one!" he snapped. He threw his machete to the ground and pulled out his shotgun instead.
She ducked, running at the wolf on the right, throwing herself at it. They grappled until she positioned herself underneath it ‚ at an angle where she could keep her eyes on Sam. The other bounded towards Sam and he aimed his gun, firing off a round and then another. He nicked it in the shoulder with the first round, but missed his second shot.
Ruby growled in frustration, jabbed the syringe into the wolf above her and then threw her hand, palm-out towards the wolf running at Sam, knocking it out of the way at the very last second with a blast of power.
The wolf above her foamed at the mouth, dribbling onto her face. "Iieew," she muttered, shoving it off of her. It landed with a whimper, arms tucked in at an awkward, inhuman angle. She brought her foot down on its neck and twisted sharply, until she heard a snap.
Sam spun around to chase the wolf with his blade but it had smartened up and was running away faster than Sam could follow. He hurried to reload his gun, but wasn't fast enough.
"We scared it off. If it's smart, it'll leave town."
Sam snarled, and threw his shotgun to the ground angrily. "We'll track it down. It can't have gone too far. Can you follow it?"
She rolled her eyes at him. "If I had a clue where it was, sure. But I'm not gonna zap all over the place hunting down one stray. Come on, Sam. We'll call it a night and then try again in the-"
"Down!" Sam yelled, as he dropped into the grass and rolled, picking up his shotgun and leveling it at the werewolf running at them. He fired off a shot right when it was about fifteen feet away, throwing it off course. Its momentum carried it forwards and it crashed right into Ruby, raking her across the back with its claws.
"Ow! Dammit," she yelled, wincing at the torn flesh. The thing's razor-like nails had ripped through her jacket like it was tissue paper.
Sam stood and fired off another shot, and the wolf's legs gave out. He walked over to its fallen form, crouched down on top of it and snapped its neck with one sharp pull of his hands.
Ruby could smell sulfur in the air, from her own wounds, but from Sam too, the beads of his sweat on his brow reeked of them. He wasn't sweating just from the exertion.
She pulled off her torn jacket gingerly, and felt Sam's eyes locked on her as she let it fall to the ground. She lifted up the bottom of her shirt and turned her head as best as she could, trying to get a look at the damage. "I've had worse," she said, turning back to Sam.
He was still staring at her, and his eyes had gone glassy, fixated on her bloodstained finger-tips.
"Don't worry, it's the bite that turns you, not the scratches. Plus--" She lifted the shirt up again to show him the wound. "Demonic immunity. I'll heal quick."
Everything smelled of death. Every house, every alley. There were people dead or dying lining the streets and rats as large as house-cats running past her feet. Even inside the church, amidst the faded scent of frankincense and old wood there was the unmistakable odor of decay. That didn't stop her from praying, though. She had nothing left to try. She prayed that her father would recover, that her failure with the doctor wouldn't prove to be his death sentence.
"Holy God," she began again, "forgive me-"
"What should you be forgiven for, exactly?" said a voice from right next to her.
She looked up and saw a man next to her. He wore the robes of a priest. His grey hair looked silver in the candle-light of the church and his eyes looked so dark they seemed solid black.
"My father is sick," she swallowed past the lump in her throat. "He's dying."
"Did you make him sick?" the older man asked.
"No! Of course not, I'm praying that he-"
"Then why are you asking for forgiveness?"
"Because…I don't know what else to do. I went to the doctor and asked him to come with me but he said it was too late, he closed the door." She took a shaky breath and brought her fingers down to the small coin-purse by her waist. "I don't want him to die. My mother, she…" She swallowed again, anger warring with despair. "He's all I have left."
The priest sighed solemnly and looked at the crucifix hanging at the front of the church. "Well, you certainly don't need to ask for forgiveness, my child. He died for your sins: your lord and savior."
She nodded, trying to find comfort in the priest's words though she felt none.
"The real question of course is whether your god cares enough to do anything to help you."
"Father?"
"He's let so many die already. Nearly this whole town. Your mother and now your father..." His eyes turned to her and looked down at her hand. "And you."
"Me?" She followed his gaze and saw an ugly black mark on the back of her hand. When she lifted it up closer, it smelled foul. Like death. "No, I- this wasn't here this morning."
"The Lord works swiftly," the priest said, shaking his head. "You have a few days at most. Run back to your father and spend your last hours together."
"No, I- I have to help him. I can't just go back without-" Her sorrow and fear overtook her and she sobbed uncontrollably.
"A pity. What a strange god that he'd let his children suffer this way. Hardly deserving of worship."
She stared up at the priest in disbelief. "What?"
He smiled, showing teeth, and turned towards the cross, into the candle-light. His eyes didn't just look black, they were solid black-as shiny as a beetle.
She stood and stumbled back a few steps, until her foot caught on the kneeler of the pew and she fell, landing in the center of the aisle.
The priest was suddenly looking down at her, even though she hadn't seen him move. He held his hand down, offering to help her stand.
"But I'm sick. If you touch me-"
"Unlike yours, my God protects me. Disease and death cannot touch me anymore."
She took his hand and stood, meeting his dark eyes with equal parts fear and fascination. "Who is your god?"
"Lucifer. The Morningstar. The most beautiful of all the angels. The only one who refused to bow to those beneath him. The one who made us what we are."
The candle-light flickered and seemed to grow brighter as her mind spun. "You mean the Devil?"
"Only to those who blame all the world's woes on Him. To us He is salvation. He knows what we are in our hearts and He loves us for it. He knows what this world is, and who it belongs to." He smiled and put his arm on her shoulder, turning her to face the cross. "I can heal you. Make you strong. I can give you the power to heal your father."
Her heart skipped a beat. "Yes." She only paused for a moment before adding, "Please, yes."
A cold gust of wind brushed her cheek, and for just a moment, she thought the crucifix looked slick with blood.
Ruby's breath was knocked out of her before she even registered Sam move. He crashed into her, big fingers wrapped tight around her shoulders, and pushed her face-down into the grass.
A buttonhole on the front of her shirt tore as Sam pushed the fabric up high with one hand, holding her legs down with the other. He brought his tongue across the largest of her wounds and lapped at it greedily.
For a moment, she was glad he couldn't see her face, because she couldn't suppress her grin. She focused on her torn flesh, making sure the skin stayed open, not wanting to discourage Sam. If he still had a taste for her blood, then everything she'd worked for wasn't in vain. She would make the Vessel ready again.
Sam made a contented noise deep in his throat and closed his mouth around the wound, pulling more blood to the surface. He worked his way from one cut to the next, until he reached the last, just by the small of her back. He ran his tongue across it, just once, and then stopped.
The click of his belt buckle was almost buried under the soft thrum of his power. Ruby felt it prickling under her skin, as he ran his mind over the contours of her soul. She wasn't sure he even knew what he was doing. Or how much she loved it.
She pushed herself up onto her forearms and looked back at him. His eyes were as dark as the night around them, and he was still focused on the marks across her back as he reached around her waist, unbuttoned her pants, yanked them off impatiently and pushed into her.
Sam had never been gentle. Back when she'd first kissed him, he'd fought her every step of the way. When he finally gave in it was in anger and self-loathing. Even after months together he didn't let himself feel pleasure. She saw him a few times, right as he caught himself-stopped himself from giving in completely. His face turned vicious and he'd fuck her like it was a battle. Afterwards, he'd look at her, green eyes wide with guilt, and tell her he was sorry. He was always sorry back in those days, apologizing like it was a path to redemption.
This was different. He moved just as forcefully, gripping her harder than he had any right to. If she were human, she'd be bruised, but she wasn't, and he knew it. His rhythm was steady, efficient, and he didn't stop once to focus on her. When he finished, he pushed himself off of her, stood up and got dressed. No kiss, not a single word of thanks or gratitude. Even when she looked in his mind there was no guilt, no trace of affection-just a hunger, sated.
"You really know how to make a girl feel special," she said, brushing a stray blade of grass from her hair.
"You're not a girl." Sam reached down and picked up her pants, shaking off the grass and dirt before handing them back to her.
"Fair enough," she said, frowning at her pants. She'd have to find a laundromat. Or new pants. They'd do for now, at any rate. "Let's stop somewhere that has a shower."
"Twenty miles to the nearest motel, at least."
"Need me to drive?" She looked him over. He seemed steadier than before, the little bit of blood he'd gotten from her wounds enough to stave off the withdrawal symptoms for now. But he'd need more soon.
"I'm fine. Let's go."
*******
The motel they found first was pretty shitty, even by their standards. The bed looked uneven, like one of the legs was just a little shorter than the others and the carpet was mostly stains. the shower, however, worked fine, much to Ruby's relief. She didn't bother with the towel when she came out, curious to see if she'd have the same effect on him he'd had on her. She'd expected to find Sam resting. They'd been at it for over 40 hours solid with no sleep. He had to be exhausted. But instead of being sprawled out on the bed starting to drift asleep, he was on the floor, in just his jeans, doing knuckle push-ups.
"You're not skeeved out by that carpet?" she asked, mildly nauseated.
"That's why I'm using my knuckles." He didn't even look up at her. His movements were steady and controlled. Perfect form.
"Thought you'd be tired after…everything." Sam used to fall asleep almost instantly after sex. She always thought it was kind of adorable. Tonight he'd driven them back here and had decided he still had the energy left for a workout.
"I'm not tired. Haven't been since you pulled me out."
"Huh." There was some significance to that, probably. A side-effect of being without his soul. "Shower's all yours."
"When I'm done," Sam said, continuing his push-ups.
Ruby debated on how long she should stand there naked and wait for him to notice. It's not like she was cold, but from the look of things Sam could keep going for another hour, and she'd still be standing there dripping on the ugly carpet.
Sam sat back on his heels and looked up her. "After I shower, we should track down that last werewolf."
Okay, now she was annoyed. "We can't. Not until it kills again. There's no spell I know that'll track some random werewolf. If I had its blood sure, but we didn't get any."
"Then we'll do it the old-fashioned way," Sam said and walked past her, towards the bathroom.
She sighed, annoyed at herself for being disappointed at his lack of interest, and jumped when his large hand slapped her on the ass.
*******
Ruby decided to pass the time by going shopping. She got back to the motel room just as Sam was pulling on a clean shirt. Phooey.
"Good idea," Sam said, nodding at the box in her hand.
"Well, I figured if we're gonna do research the old-fashioned way…" She sat down at the rickety little table, opened the box and pulled out the brand new laptop.
Sam came closer and sniffed the air.
"New computer smell getting you all excited?" She smirked. Maybe there was some of the old Sam left in there after all.
"Something like that." He pulled his knife out of his hip sheath and kneeled next to the chair she was sitting on. Then he wrapped his hand around her left arm and turned it over, palm facing up. He drew the knife across her wrist slowly and then laid it down on the table.
She watched him close his mouth over the wound, pleased and confused at the same time. He drank for a full minute, efficient and quick, but with no sign of the desperate hunger or pleasure she'd grown to love so much. "You're not worried?" she asked when he pulled back.
"About what?" He ran his thumb across his lower lip and brought it to his mouth, cleaning up the last drop of blood like it was a paper cut. "The blood?" He tilted his head to the side. "I like to hunt. I want to be as strong as I can be. As long as I keep the dosage right and consistent, there's no danger." He looked at her. "I do need to get a back-up supply though."
"Sam, I'm right here. I can give you all you need."
"I can't trust you."
As much as she wanted to protest, she couldn't. If she was going to win his trust again she had to prove herself. She would prove herself. She still had no idea what Lucifer had planned for her, why she'd been assigned to save this half of Sam. Whatever the reason, she had to make him trust her, and she would.
"We'll drain a few demons today. Stop by a hardware shop and get a cooling tank to keep the blood in. That way I have a back-up supply."
She nodded, keeping the bitterness off of her face. "Fine. Want me to track them down now?"
"No. I want you to teach me how to track them."
She raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think that's something I can teach you?"
"With enough of your blood I can kill demons. I can fling them around, send them to Hell, grab onto their souls and squeeze them until they pop. Last time around, that's all I wanted to learn. This time, I want you to teach me everything else."
It shouldn't have surprised her as much as it did, not really. After having Lucifer inside of him, Sam must have felt, on some level, how much she'd been holding back from him, and how much he was really capable of. Teaching him everything he could do was risky though. It would be a lot harder to keep secrets from him. Then again, maybe the time for secrets was over.
One day, she came back to her little house at the edge of the forest to find it engulfed in flames. The house where she'd grown up, the one where she still lived with her now very old and weak, but still otherwise healthy father, was burning. Black smoke poured from the windows, and she could smell burning hair and flesh amongst the wood. She saw torches lying on the ground just outside her door, and Mr. Henry the baker, standing just a few feet away, watching like he was transfixed. He gave her an odd look-fear at first and then a slow, cold smile of pride. She ran forward to the flames, hoping she could put them out before her father was lost, but it was too late, and she knew it. She tried anyway, summoning a rainstorm as quickly as she could, dousing the fire and willing the rest of it away with nothing but brute force. Her eyes ached, and her nose bled, but she didn't care.
The house was ruined, and her father's soul was long gone, even though his flesh was still smoldering. Mr. Henry was waiting for her when she came back out through the door.
"We know what you are. You're not welcome here," he said with conviction.
It took her a few tries before she could get her voice to work. "And my father? What has he ever done to you?"
"Any man who could have a thing like you for a daughter is already damned."
She didn't remember consciously deciding to hurt Mr. Henry, not exactly. She was so overcome with hate that everything fell completely still. All she could hear was her own blood, rushing through her veins, her heartbeat pounding in time with the lightning she'd called.
She left her burnt house with the corpse of her father still lying on his bed and Mr. Henry's bones sticking out of the scorched earth.
*******
Sam was a quick study. Within twenty minutes he'd picked up on a demon a few miles away.
Ruby offered to go there and bring them back, but Sam wanted to drive, wanted to make sure he could track them and find them all on his own.
"Is teleportation something I can learn?" he asked, his eyes on the road.
"Maybe, maybe not. Do you know how we do it?"
"If I did, I wouldn't be asking you."
"A demonic soul is always being pulled back towards Hell. Without a body to anchor us, we're just treading water. Flesh makes it easier to stay topside. But…we can take that pull-let it start to drag us back down and shift the course. All you have to do is focus on a part of Hell that's underneath where you need to go, and then dig your heels into the ground before you get sucked back in."
He scoffed. "Sounds risky."
"Gets easier with practice."
"What else can I do?"
"Plenty. Anything Azazel's other kids could do, with practice. You started with visions, right? Try some other head-tricks. You're good at grabbing onto demons, and that's really just a part of telekinesis anyway. Or mind-reading. Getting into people's heads should be easy for you."
"People's heads? That include demons?"
"Demons were people once." She wasn't gonna give him the satisfaction of seeing her sweat. He'd already said he didn't trust her. That's why they were out on this milk-run to begin with.
Sam narrowed his eyes and stared out at the road. "We're close. He's less than ten miles away." His lips curled, but it was far too cold to be a smile.
"You know the trouble is-the stronger you get, the more likely they are to sense you coming, too."
"Could've mentioned that earlier."
"And you should have known that already. Come on, Sam. I might not have taught you everything last time, but you have to remember the basics, at least."
"Hex bags," he muttered. "We need black-bird bones, graveyard dust, asafoetida, vervain…"
"At least you remembered the ingredients." She gave his knee a pat. "Back in a bit."
It didn't take her long to find what she needed. Barely five minutes. That still didn't keep Sam from flinching in irritated surprise when she appeared back in the passenger seat without any forewarning.
She ignored him and set to work, spreading out the two square pieces of cloth on her lap and placing the right combination of herbs, dust and bone in the center of each. "There," she said and held up the two small bags she'd made, concentrating. "Sumus occulo." The bags glowed briefly as her magic gave them purpose. "Now we're off the radar for both sides."
"Thanks," Sam said. "And he hasn't moved, in case you're wondering."
"Did you also happen to pick up on the fact that he's got two friends with him?"
Sam's nostrils flared in annoyance.
"One plus two isn't one. Just saying."
"I can take three. No problem."
"Of course you can. And how many empty jugs did you bring?"
Sam didn't answer, which told her everything she needed to know.
"Good thing I brought extra then, isn't it?"
"What would I do without you?" he said evenly. "They're in there." He nodded at the bar on the side of the road.
"Public area. Gonna be tricky."
"No it won't." Sam smirked. "My brother and I spent our whole lives doing this kinda thing."
"Blood-letting demons?"
"Learning how to be quiet."
Ruby had to admit Sam was good. The demons hadn't cast them a second glance when they first walked in. Partially thanks to the hex bags, of course. The three of them were at a pool table in the back, watching the crowd, probably to pick out new meat-suits.
Sam stood by the bar, positioning himself so he could watch them in the mirror. He saw one of the demons follow a man into the bathroom, and went after him. Ruby followed a minute later and got to the bathroom just in time to see the human target piss himself when the demon's eyes flipped black.
Sam grabbed the demon by the shoulder, and the man ran. Ruby stopped him by the door, and knocked him unconscious, not wanting him to alert the rest of the patrons. She nudged her shopping bags to the side as the man slumped to the floor.
The demon Sam had grabbed found itself being pushed harder into the wall next to the hand dryer, by force alone, as Sam took a few steps back, his hand raised, palm out.
It glared at him and hissed, "Winchester."
"That's right," Sam said. "Call your friends in here."
"Why would I want to do that?" the demon asked.
"Who said anything about want?" The demon's eyes widened, and it started to gasp as Sam closed his fingers into a fist. "Call them. Now," Sam commanded.
The door swung open a few seconds later, and Ruby waved at the two newcomers before Sam had them pinned too. One flat against the ceiling and the other in-between two of the stall doors.
Ruby pulled the swinging door shut and locked it. Kneeling down, she reached into the two bags she'd carried in and pulled out a funnel and one of the empty gallon jugs. "Which one do you want me to start with?"
"Not this one," Sam said, focusing again on the demon in front of him. "He's nice and scared. I want to practice digging around in his brain a little."
"Okay, just don't dig too hard or you might snuff him out early."
"Wouldn't want that."
"No, we wouldn't. Don't waste a free refuel." Ruby flipped the top off of the empty jug and stuck the funnel inside of it, then she walked over to the scrawny black-eyed man pinned to her left and smiled up at him. "Hi."
"What are you doing?" The demon eyed her nervously as she reached into her pocket, pulled out the butterfly knife she'd picked up at the surplus store and flicked it open. "Let me go."
The demon opened its borrowed mouth and tried to escape its host, but Sam held it in place. Ruby didn't even have to help. He wasn't out of practice in the slightest, if anything, he'd gotten better.
"You're not going anywhere," Ruby looked him over, trying to decide which artery to start with. She brought her knife to his right knee, pulled the fabric of his jeans away from his leg, pierced the denim and started to cut carefully up, until most of his inner thigh was exposed. With one precise movement, she made a small but deep cut in his skin, piercing the femoral artery. Blood started to spill out and she brought the edge of the funnel to his skin, making sure to catch every drop. She pressed the plastic deep into his flesh, making the blood flow just a little faster.
On the other side of the bathroom, Sam's breath hitched and he turned to look over his shoulder at them. His eyes were dark with hunger and he looked at the jug in Ruby's hand like a starving man eyeing a sirloin steak. He turned away again, his shoulders rising and falling as he took deep steadying breaths. He wasn't going to hold out much longer. Soulless or not, the blood still had a hold on him. Good to know.
"That's Sam Winchester, isn't it?" the demon asked, his eyes locked on the back of Sam's head.
Holding the funnel steady, Ruby looked up at the possessed man. "You're a genius. Yes, that's Sam Winchester."
"I thought he threw himself into Lucifer's cage."
"He did."
"Is he going to kill me?"
"Probably."
"Pro- probably? Can you ask him not to?" The demon winced as Ruby forced more of his blood down the artery she'd opened. There was a real advantage to having fine-tuned her psychic muscles to this point. Throwing a person against a wall was easy, moving liquid through the arterial network of the human body was a different story entirely. She grabbed another empty jug and slipped it under the funnel, then capped the full jug and gave it a mental push towards the far wall, where her bags were.
"Ruby." Sam had pulled his own knife out of its sheath and was playing with it, his fingers flipping the knife handle back and forth.
"Yeah?"
"How much longer 'til your done with that one?"
"Not long," she smiled up at the demon and squeezed his heart one more time, forcing the rest of the blood down and out into the funnel.
"This one next," Sam said, his voice low. She could hear the impatience in his voice.
"All set," she said winking up at the demon. She carried the half full jug, another empty one, and the funnel over to Sam, who looked back at the drained demon.
"I don't want him telling anybody else what we did here," Sam said. He nodded towards the jug in Ruby's hand.
She pulled out the funnel and handed it to him. "Bottoms up."
Sam's jaw twitched, just once, and then he held the mouth of the jug up to his lips and drank.
Ruby watched the muscles in his neck work as he drained the half gallon she'd gathered. His power spiked, pushing harder into all of the demons in the room. Including her. Luckily, he could still tell her apart from the others, and instead of pinning her in place, his power thrummed through her soul-a heady mix of pleasure and pain so intense Ruby nearly fell to her knees. He let go of her seconds later, and she reached out to steady herself against the wall, stifling a moan.
She opened her eyes again when she heard the crackle of a demon burning behind her. He killed the demon she'd emptied in a matter of seconds. The metal frame of the stalls was warped from where Sam had pushed into him, and one of the stall doors swung open, creaking noisily, as the body fell to the floor with a muted thump.
Sam turned to her, his irises solid black and smiled. His teeth were stained red with blood as he leaned down to hand the now-empty jug back to her.
"Nicely done," she said, ignoring the shiver running down her spine for the moment. He didn't have to know the way he made her feel when he was like this. "Want me to get started on this one?" she asked, pointing up at the demon next to Sam.
He nodded and stepped away from the wall, leaving Ruby to her work, and walked to the center of the bathroom underneath the third demon that he'd pinned to the ceiling earlier. With a casual flick of his fingers he sent it crashing down to the floor. He pushed against the skinny, male body with the tip of his boot, rolling him over until he was lying on his back.
Ruby turned her focus back on the demon next to her and started to cut through his jeans, just above the knee. She pulled the fabric back and away from the skin and brought the funnel up to his bared leg, then picked up the empty jug and stuck it under the funnel. It wasn't until she brought the knife to his skin that she realized he hadn't made a sound. Not a peep. "Don't worry, it'll be over soon."
"Lucifer…" the demon said, so quietly it was nearly a whisper.
"No, that's Sam, Lucifer's vessel." She cut into the demon's thigh, catching the blood in her funnel, mentally speeding up the blood flow right away, not wanting to push their luck. Someone else was bound to need the bathroom in a few minutes, and it'd be better to be long gone before then.
The demon's black eyes whipped down to her. "I'm not an idiot, I can tell the difference between a human and our god. But if he's free, then doesn't that mean-"
"Not yet." Ruby watched the jug fill. "But soon." She looked up at him. "Have faith."
"I try, I do, but with the new king, it's hard."
"The new king?" Figured somebody had scrambled for the throne, but she had no idea who. Nobody left down there had any right holding the title. If anything, Sam was the next in line, soul or no.
"He kills the true believers. The ones he knows about anyway."
The jug was starting to fill and she pulled the next empty one towards her. Carefully she clamped down on the artery and swapped out the containers. "Who's the new king?"
He stared down at her. "You don't know?"
She smirked. "I've been out of the loop for a bit."
"Crowley."
"Crowley? Cross-roads Crowley?"
"What about Crowley?" Sam asked from behind her.
"Apparently he promoted himself to king of Hell," Ruby said.
"Did he?" Sam asked, tilting his head to catch the demon's eyes.
A warm drop fell on Ruby's hand. The funnel had slipped just the tiniest bit, but enough for some of the blood to trickle along the edge and down the side. She adjusted the funnel and caught the last few drops, throwing a smile to the demon.
He nodded at her and kept his head down, eyes turned away from Sam.
Carefully, Ruby put the jug down and wiped her thumb over the rim of the funnel to push what she could inside.
Sam caught her by the wrist just as she stood up. "You sure you got every drop?" he asked, his eyes still two black circles.
"Of course. See for yourself."
Sam brought her hand up to his mouth and sucked the blood off her thumb. Ruby could see the black from his irises bleed infinitesimally wider. He let go of her wrist, turned to the demon and narrowed his eyes. The man's body lit up gold, and the demon gasped as it burned from the inside out. The emptied shell fell to the floor.
"You know there were still two souls in there, right?"
"The body was totally drained, he wouldn't have survived anyway."
"If you'd killed the demon, and left the human soul where it was, it would've gone where it belonged-up or down."
"Since when do you care?"
"I just thought you'd want to know." She glanced inside of Sam's mind, looking for some glimmer of remorse, or at least an acknowledgement of what he'd done. There was nothing-just a mild sense of satisfaction and an undercurrent of pride.
"One to go, Ruby. Get rid of these two corpses and I'll finish up the last one. Come back when you're done."
Something inside of her bristled at constantly being given orders. Back when she'd last been by Sam's side, she'd done as he asked most of the time, because it was part of the mission: win his trust, help him grow stronger, make him need her. But now she didn't have a plan. She didn't know what it was she was supposed to be guiding him towards. Tonight, it felt like he had a clearer path than she did, and that-she didn't like one bit.
*******
Over the next few weeks, Ruby stayed quiet. She watched, just like she'd done the first time around, when Sam was still young and as innocent as the Devil's true vessel could ever hope to be. She hadn't figured out this new configuration yet, but she would. Patience had always been her strong suit. That was one of the main reasons Lucifer and Lilith had chosen her. She was one of the few demons that could wait however long she had to for just the right moment.
So that's what she did.
Sam remembered what Lucifer had been capable of. He wrote up a list of every power, every ability he could think of. Ruby had to cross off nearly half of them. Some things were beyond him-strictly angel territory, others she thought he might be able to learn, but she didn't have a clue where to start. Quite a few were skills only incorporeal beings possessed, so those were a no-go. But even after editing down her list she had over three-dozen left that Sam was fully capable of learning, given enough blood and enough practice.
Some things came to him naturally. Telekinesis was something he'd had a predisposition towards even before she came to him, so it was just a matter of him understanding that he could move things that didn't have demons in them too. The lesson ended up being more about when to use tweezers instead of a sledgehammer. Sam was good at lifting things and hurtling them through the air, but when she tried to get him to open a soda can without touching it he spent a full two minutes trying to lift the tab only to end up crushing the whole can, covering them both in Dr. Pepper.
His physical strength had started to inch towards superhuman territory already, which made their hunts go that much faster. She was still stronger than him, in that respect, but he'd catch up soon enough.
Telepathy was third on Sam's list and even though Ruby would've much rather waited, she knew he'd figure it out on his own if he set his mind to it. He'd tried with the demon at the bar, even though she had no idea if he'd had any luck. She showed him only the basics, how to pick up on something she was trying to tell him, and how he could send a thought to her. Mind-control would require a lot more practice and a lot more blood. She expected fall-out within a matter of hours, thinking that he'd, in typical Sam fashion, practice and practice until he hit a wall and then practice again. She strengthened the defenses in her own mind, making sure to keep the important bits locked up tight where he couldn't get to them without her noticing. But the first day went by without incident. He wasn't all that interested in reading her thoughts, after all. He just liked the tactical advantage it would give them.
They moved right onto spell-work, number four on his list. She had a ton of knowledge to share, and true to her word, she taught Sam everything useful. Obfuscation, summonings, tracking spells. When she used a spell involving fire, she brought it to life with a thought, the small flame consuming the herbs in the bowl within seconds.
"You crossed that off the list," Sam said. "Fire."
"Because you can't call fire. Not yet."
"When?"
"When you're ready."
"I'm ready."
"No, you're not." She snapped, a small flame dancing on the tip of her pointer finger and brought it to his forearm.
"Ow!" he pulled his arm back and glared at the red circular burn on his skin.
The smell of singed arm-hair drifted into her nostrils and she gave Sam a look. "You're strong Sam, you're getting stronger, but you're not fire-proof, and until you can keep fire from burning you, you can't control it. Not completely."
"How long?"
"Don't know. It's not exactly part of the standard package, even where I come from."
"You use fire. Azazel used fire. All the time. He fed me his blood."
"He fed you three drops when you were a baby. That doesn't exactly make you his equal. Plus, he was one of the Fallen."
"As in…fallen angel?"
"No, a domino."
Sam glared at her.
"What other kind of Fallen could I possibly be talking about?" She huffed, thinking that quite possibly some of Sam's brains had stayed behind in the cage. "He used to be an angel. Only Lucifer kept his grace. All the angels that fell with him became something else."
"Demons." Sam's brow furrowed. "I killed Lilith and Alistair. Two of the strongest."
"Two of the strongest that came from humans. The Fallen were a whole different ballgame."
"Were?"
"Azazel was the last one." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Angels killed all the others."
"That's why Lilith was next in line."
"No, you were next in line. But you weren't interested." Ruby eyed him curiously. "Any interest now?"
"In being king of Hell?" Sam scoffed. "No thanks."
"Why not? You'd have an army of demons. More than enough power to take down just about anything. You'd-"
"Do you think I'm stupid?"
A beat passed and Ruby watched him, cooly. "No."
"The only reason you're here with me now is because that's exactly what you want me to do. You think there's some way for me to break open the cage and free Lucifer again."
She kept looking at him, challenging him to go on. If there was ever a time to get it all out in the open, this was it. Better for him to ask the right questions now, then go poking around in her head once he figured out how. "I think there might be."
"It's not gonna happen." Sam stood, and walked over to the sink to get himself a glass of water. "I like it up here. I'm staying up here. And there's no way I'm ever going to help you free Lucifer."
"Fine."
For just a second, Sam looked genuinely flustered. He looked like Sam, and something in her gut clenched. She missed him. As frustrating as he'd been, she'd cared about him more than she should have. The man that damned the world out of love and a bone-deep need for revenge.
Revenge she understood.
During her last minutes as a human, when they'd tied her down and burned her, the ropes cutting into her skin-she'd screamed: in fear at first, then in desperation, hoping that someone would take pity on her, that someone who she'd helped would defend her. But no one came to her aid. Twelve people watched, with eyes as cold as any demon's, and none of them shed a tear. The sky opened then, a heavy rain pouring down, the water hissing as it hit the flames. For a moment she thought her salvation had come, that the one she'd pledged herself to had sent the storm just for her. Lightning crashed, the fire grew weaker and she felt a righteous fury so strong and so pure that all her pain vanished.
"You don't deserve this world," she said, her voice loud in the sudden quiet of the crowd. "I will live and I will take it from you." She meant every word, and as her body shut down, as the flesh around her eyes bubbled until she could no longer see, she felt herself shed her body. She slipped out of it like a snake shedding its skin and became something else. Wrath. Justice. The Devil's instrument.
Author name: monicawoe
Artist name: quickreaver
Genre: het
Pairing: soulless!Sam/Ruby, also featuring Dean Winchester, Meg, Eve, Crowley, Castiel, Raphael, the alpha vampire, Death
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~41K
Warnings: blood-drinking, gore, demonic true-forms,
Summary: As a reward for her loyal service, Lucifer brings Ruby back from death. When Sam throws himself into the Cage, Ruby slows his fall - just enough to grab a hold of his body, but not his soul. Together, they hunt the ever-increasing monster population and uncover evidence that Crowley and Castiel might not be as antagonistic as they seem. As the situation unfolds, Eve's interest in Sam piques and she gives him a gift that changes the very essence of what he is.
FIC MASTERPOST ART MASTERPOST
Ruby died by her own blade, by the magic of the dagger she'd had in her care since she'd first been sent topside after Azazel's death. The enchanted metal was instant death to all but five beings. She wasn't one of them. So when Dean ran her through while Sam held her, she knew it was the end.
Except that it wasn't. Her consciousness began to drift apart until only the key moments of her life remained, unspooling frame by frame. Her first kiss, her first spell, her first death, the first time she met Sam, the first time they fucked, the first time he drank her blood, and finally the last thing she ever saw: her God's power piercing into the world. It was the purest light she'd ever seen.
Lucifer's grace erupted from the chapel floor, so powerful that it tore apart nearly everything in its path. Ruby could see it pouring forth as the last flickers of her blackened soul watched from behind her vessel's dead eyes. Sam and Dean tried desperately to get away, but they were trapped. And then they vanished. Something had saved them.
The chapel shook as Lucifer roared in fury at his vessel's disappearance. In that moment Ruby felt his will close around her, forcing her back together, making her whole. You swore to serve me for all time.
I did.
Then, serve.
She felt herself, borrowed body and soul, dragged across the cold stone floor by a giant hand, closer and closer to Lucifer's terrible light. Just as the last of Him poured forth, she was pulled down, the gateway closed above her and everything was black.
She was there a long time; below the Earth and above Hell, her borrowed body frozen in time and darkness as her soul stayed cruelly, painfully aware. She couldn't see, and the only sound she heard was the deafening whisper of Lucifer when He chose to talk to her. He spoke to her three more times after pulling her back from the brink of death.
The first was when He visited Sam in his dreams. He is perfect.
The second wasn't even directed at her, it was a broadcast-all channels, all frequencies-from the deepest part of Hell, to the highest cloud in Heaven. A shout of triumph, an exultation. Yes.
She waited then for Lucifer's word, eager to be freed, eager to walk by His side as He set the world aflame. But she stayed where she was, trapped like an insect in amber. All she could do was imagine what it was like-Lucifer in Sam, crushing the world to ashes beneath His feet.
Why? Why won't you let me fight with you? she asked Him then, a desperate prayer to her God. Why am I still here?
You're the contingency plan.
Ruby was left alone, with nothing but the after-echo of His voice. Time passed, but she had no way to measure it, no sun from up above, and no screams from the souls of Hell below ticking off one agonizing second at a time. Her mind played back her memories, trying to fill the void with something, anything to remind her she was still there, that she still existed.
Her feet hurt as she ran through the forest, the normally soft needles of the pine trees like thorns underneath her soles. It was dawn, and the trickle of light coming through the trees wasn't enough to see very far.
Blinking through tears that wouldn't stop, she ran until her left foot caught on a root and sent her falling to the ground. Her head slammed into the cold earth and for a moment everything stopped.
When she looked up again, the wan light of the morning had gained strength. Enough that she could make out more of the trees around her. She pushed herself up to standing, looking down at her dirt-stained dress and her skinned knees. Father had said: go north to find the doctor. She clutched her hand around the small bag of coins hanging from her waist and walked towards the nearest tree, looking for moss.
She crouched down low to the ground and reached her hand out towards the trunk, not sure if the oddly colored patch she saw was moss or just a trick of the light. It was soft to the touch and she felt a slight flicker of hope. When she pulled her hand back, she saw one of her fingers was dripping red. It was bleeding, sliced open by a sharp rock. Trying to numb the pain, she brought the wound to her mouth and sucked on the cut. It stung, but the pain subsided quickly. She'd look for a few other trees and then head the way they pointed her. She could be at the doctor's within the hour if she hurried, then she could tell him what happened, give him the coins and he'd come back with her, and heal her father.
She put her hand against the trunk of the tree, wincing as she felt the cut in her palm open wider. There was a growl, something low but close. An animal. She whipped around, fearing a wolf had found her, or a bear, but saw nothing. Just the trees, and the slivers of sunlight between them.
To her left, there was a sound of pine-needles being crushed. Her heart hammered in her chest as she saw a large, grey leg reach out between two of the trees. A wolf then, she thought, though the paw itself was far too large for a wolf, but when the other leg came through and then the head, she knew she was wrong. She would have preferred a wolf. This thing-this beast, whatever it was-wasn't anything she'd seen before. It was as large as a bear and as broad, but its legs were long and lean. Its head looked like that of a great cat with amber eyes to match and above its ears were two large curling rams' horns. It growled again, and its breath left a white trail of smoke hanging in the air.
She gasped and stepped backwards, instinctively, trying to think. Wolves would chase you if you ran from them, she knew that much, but didn't know if it was true for bears, or whatever this was. She held up her hands and opened her mouth to speak, though she had no idea what to say.
The monster stepped forward crushing the soft forest-bed one slow step at a time beneath its large clawed feet.
Her eyes closed and she tried to remember the prayer her father had taught her. "Holy Mary, Mother of God, pr- pray for us sinners-" She felt the beast's breath on her knees as it moved closer to her, and squeezed her eyes shut, too terrified to keep them open. "-now and at the hour of our death." The snout of the Beast was warm as it pressed against her hand and her breath hitched as she waited for the inevitable.
Instead of the bite of razor-sharp teeth, something rough like sandpaper scraped over her palm. She was too confused and curious not to look, so she did. The monster's eyes were closed and it was licking her hand-gently, carefully, even.
She reached her other hand down to touch its head, running her finger across the curve of its left horn. The beast closed its mouth, looked up at her with its strange yellow eyes and vanished, like it had never been there at all.
The next time- the last time Lucifer spoke to Ruby, He sounded so close, so awfully close, she thought she could feel His power brushing ice-cold against her cheek. He only said one word: "Now."
Her prison disappeared instantly. She could see again, and what she saw was the blinding brilliance of two archangels wearing human bodies, about to hurtle past her. One of them was Sam, filled with Lucifer's grace. She reached out, grabbed his wrist, and watched, horrified and fascinated, as two suns fell out of his body and plummeted faster and faster down. One was Lucifer, and the other, much smaller, but just as bright, was a human soul. Sam's soul. She watched them disappear into the endless depths beneath her and felt a pang of despair. She wasn't sure if it was for Lucifer, or Sam.
There was a stuttering noise above her and when she looked up she could see the tear in the worlds growing smaller as the portal between Earth and Lucifer's cage began to close. She willed herself up, pulling Sam's body with her, and took them both to the closest shelter she could find-a small abandoned house a few miles away.
********
Sam, whatever part of him she'd brought back, was still alive. He stayed unconscious for hours. She'd laid him down on the bare mattress some previous squatters had been kind enough to leave behind. He breathed evenly and looked like he was sleeping. She'd tried waking him up a few times, said his name, even slapped him twice, but he stayed asleep just the same.
She was starting to wonder if Lucifer had meant for her to inhabit his vessel. But he wasn't empty. There was something inside of Sam-an awareness, a mind that felt a whole lot like him.
When he woke up, exactly six hours later, he looked at her and asked, "What happened?"
"I'm not really sure," she said. "You were falling into the cage. I saved you. Well, some of you."
"Some?" he didn't seem alarmed at all, just curious.
"I saw your soul fall. With Lucifer. But I caught the rest of you."
"Huh." He stood up and rolled his head to the left and right, then flexed his fingers experimentally. "I don't feel that different." He looked down at himself, at his blood-stained jacket and pulled it off, letting it fall to the dusty floor. Then he stuck his finger through the bullet hole in his over-shirt, unbuttoned it, and pulled it off, followed shortly thereafter by the t-shirt beneath. There was dried blood on his chest and a smudge along the side of his abdominals, but his skin was whole. "Where are we?"
"Some house."
"Think the water works?"
She shrugged.
He slipped out of his pants and went in search of the bathroom wearing only his briefs and socks.
Works for me, Ruby thought to herself, smiling just a little. She'd always thought Sam could stand to be a little less modest.
*******
After his shower, Sam came back out to her, completely naked and dripping water everywhere. "I don't have a towel."
"Nope," she smirked up at him. "But, thanks to me, you do have clean clothes." She pointed to the small pile of t-shirts and pair of jeans she'd swiped from a nearby strip mall while he'd been showering.
He crouched down and looked at the pile. "No underwear?"
"Ingrate. We can get you some later."
Sam slipped into the jeans and shook his head quickly, from side to side, sending water flying everywhere.
"Hey, watch it!" she yelled.
He grabbed a gray shirt from the pile and slipped it on, rolling his shoulders back to test the size. She probably should have gotten him the XL, but the L fit a lot better. It really did. The remaining wet patches on his skin soaked through the fabric, leaving a heart shaped pattern on his lower back.
"I'm hungry."
"Okay."
"Where are we? Anywhere near a diner?"
"There's a Chinese place a few blocks down." She stood up and walked closer to him. "Of course, we don't have any money…"
"Does that matter?"
"Nope."
*******
They ordered roast duck, string beans with garlic, sesame noodles and wine.
It almost felt like a date. The conversation wasn't really standard date material, but the restaurant was nearly empty, so nobody gave them funny looks.
"So what happened after I died?" she asked, twirling a noodle onto her fork.
"You don't know?" Sam raised an eyebrow. "Lucifer brought you back, right? I figured you saw the whole thing."
"Didn't really work out that way," she chewed on her lip. "I couldn't see anything the whole year, I was just kind of…in a holding cell, I guess."
"Sounds boring."
"Yeah," she shrugged, "…but I was where I needed to be when you fell." She watched his face for a reaction of some sort, but it was neutral, his focus on the food on his plate. "What do you remember?" she asked.
"About what? Being Lucifer?"
She nodded.
He shrugged and pierced a string bean with his fork. "Not much. I was trying to fight him for control at first, but…" He shook his head and his lips quirked slightly. "…imagine an ant trying to hold off a tidal wave, and you'll get the idea."
"He's our God for a reason," she said, quietly. "So how'd you do it? Did somebody push you? Did Michael-"
"I pulled Michael down with us. He was using Adam as a vessel."
"Adam your half-brother? The one you said got eaten by ghouls."
"That's the one."
"But how? You can't just pull an archangel somewhere they don't want to go."
Sam looked up at her thoughtfully. "Dean showed up and no matter what Lucifer did, he wouldn't give up. He wouldn't leave. He just kept saying he was there for me. I broke through. Either that or Lucifer let me take over."
"Huh." What else could she say to that, really? "Speaking of, when are you planning on checking in on Dean?"
"I'm not."
If the table they were sitting at suddenly came alive and started dancing, she'd have been less surprised than she was at that moment.
"Your brother, your always-joined-at-the-hip brother…you don't want to make sure he's okay?"
"He's fine. I made him promise to move on, not to try to get me out." Sam furrowed his brow for a moment. "He probably will anyway. But he won't get anywhere."
Ruby stared at him. "So you don't want to go say hi? Tell him you're okay?"
"If I do that, we'll be right back where we started. If he got out of the life…he should stay out."
"Okay. Fine. Just thought I'd ask." She ate a piece of roast duck and chewed it thoughtfully. "So, what do you want to do?"
"Hunt." His mouth curved into something like a smile. "There's always things that needs killing."
"We need weapons."
"And somewhere to put them. A car with a big trunk." He finished the last of the water in his cup. "There's a used car lot down the highway, I think."
"Meet you there?" she asked.
"Meet you there," Sam said. He excused himself to go use the bathroom, slipped out the back door instead, and Ruby vanished, waiting for him at the Lawrence Dodge Dealership.
Sam picked out a Charger, and Ruby distracted the two salesmen while he slipped away for a test drive. When they caught on, Ruby knocked them out-one with a punch, one with a kick to the head. Then she joined Sam in the Charger.
"I like it," she said, running her hand over the pleather of the seat.
"Gets good mileage."
"Weapons?"
"Yup. I know this highway. There's an Army Surplus store ten miles from here. We'll stock up there. Pick up some underwear, too."
She stuck her tongue out at him.
They got all the basics they needed that night just after the Surplus Store closed, and went back on the road. Sam started heading north, on a whim, from what Ruby could tell.
He pulled over at a rest stop and picked up a local paper. A few minutes later he pointed at a headline on page three. "Werewolf."
"Yeah?"
"Missing heart."
"Wrong moon phase, though. This happened two days ago."
"Maybe this one can change at will?"
"We'll need silver."
"Pawn shop's a good bet."
"We'd still have to melt it down though."
Sam made a sharp left and took a u-turn. "Drugstore back this way."
"Drugstore?"
"Yeah, I've got an idea. Something I always wanted to try, actually."
His idea turned out to be colloidal silver.
They picked up syringes along with the liquid silver and she filled them while he drove. They pulled over at the side of the road near the farm where he suspected the werewolf was holing up and filled some of the shotgun shells with the suspension as well, blending it with rock salt.
"Tasty."
"Mm. Should hurt like a bitch. Even if it doesn't kill it, it'll slow it down." He loaded his shotgun and pocketed three of the syringes, leaving her with the other seven and a spare Bowie knife. She missed her blade, but she'd get it back, eventually.
"You really want to do this at night?" she asked.
"Yeah, it'll be easier to-" Sam brought his hand to the bridge of his nose and clenched his eyes shut, repressing a wince of pain. "- figure out it's really a werewolf that way."
"You okay?"
"I'm fine. Just a headache." He grabbed his machete from the trunk and slid the false bottom back into place, hiding their newly acquired arsenal. "Let's go."
It might have just been a headache, but that seemed unlikely. If she was right, it was the first sign of demon-blood withdrawal. She hadn't broached the subject yet because she had no idea how this new Sam would react. She'd have to mention it at exactly the right moment. Or, if she had her way, she wouldn't have to mention it at all. He'd come to her.
They walked slowly towards the old barn. It had been empty for years, the last farmhouse in the area. Far enough away to not draw attention, but close enough to get to the more populated areas nearby easily on four legs. She smelled them when they were about fifty feet away. Them, not it. "There's more than one."
"Good. One would've been too easy, anyway." Sam picked up his pace, and started moving towards the left side of the barn.
"They'll hear us, you know," she whispered under her breath.
"I'm counting on it. When they come for me, I'll keep 'em busy, and you can give them their shots."
"That plan sucks, Sam."
"You got a better one?" he smirked.
Smirked. He was enjoying himself.
She ran after him and vanished as soon as she saw the first amber eyed, sharp-toothed human bounding towards them on arms and legs. With perfect precision, she stepped into the world again right behind the werewolf about to tackle Sam and wrapped her arm around its throat.
Sam raised his machete, ready to block and took a step back.
She pushed the plunger on the syringe and sent the silver streaming into the werewolf's throat. It let out an angry noise-half-scream, half-yelp and started thrashing violently in her grip. She let go and pushed herself out of the way as Sam brought his machete slicing through the air. He severed the werewolf's head and had just enough time to bring his blade back up as the next two ran at them.
Ruby shook her head. "I can't get both of them at once, Sam."
"Then just get one!" he snapped. He threw his machete to the ground and pulled out his shotgun instead.
She ducked, running at the wolf on the right, throwing herself at it. They grappled until she positioned herself underneath it ‚ at an angle where she could keep her eyes on Sam. The other bounded towards Sam and he aimed his gun, firing off a round and then another. He nicked it in the shoulder with the first round, but missed his second shot.
Ruby growled in frustration, jabbed the syringe into the wolf above her and then threw her hand, palm-out towards the wolf running at Sam, knocking it out of the way at the very last second with a blast of power.
The wolf above her foamed at the mouth, dribbling onto her face. "Iieew," she muttered, shoving it off of her. It landed with a whimper, arms tucked in at an awkward, inhuman angle. She brought her foot down on its neck and twisted sharply, until she heard a snap.
Sam spun around to chase the wolf with his blade but it had smartened up and was running away faster than Sam could follow. He hurried to reload his gun, but wasn't fast enough.
"We scared it off. If it's smart, it'll leave town."
Sam snarled, and threw his shotgun to the ground angrily. "We'll track it down. It can't have gone too far. Can you follow it?"
She rolled her eyes at him. "If I had a clue where it was, sure. But I'm not gonna zap all over the place hunting down one stray. Come on, Sam. We'll call it a night and then try again in the-"
"Down!" Sam yelled, as he dropped into the grass and rolled, picking up his shotgun and leveling it at the werewolf running at them. He fired off a shot right when it was about fifteen feet away, throwing it off course. Its momentum carried it forwards and it crashed right into Ruby, raking her across the back with its claws.
"Ow! Dammit," she yelled, wincing at the torn flesh. The thing's razor-like nails had ripped through her jacket like it was tissue paper.
Sam stood and fired off another shot, and the wolf's legs gave out. He walked over to its fallen form, crouched down on top of it and snapped its neck with one sharp pull of his hands.
Ruby could smell sulfur in the air, from her own wounds, but from Sam too, the beads of his sweat on his brow reeked of them. He wasn't sweating just from the exertion.
She pulled off her torn jacket gingerly, and felt Sam's eyes locked on her as she let it fall to the ground. She lifted up the bottom of her shirt and turned her head as best as she could, trying to get a look at the damage. "I've had worse," she said, turning back to Sam.
He was still staring at her, and his eyes had gone glassy, fixated on her bloodstained finger-tips.
"Don't worry, it's the bite that turns you, not the scratches. Plus--" She lifted the shirt up again to show him the wound. "Demonic immunity. I'll heal quick."
Everything smelled of death. Every house, every alley. There were people dead or dying lining the streets and rats as large as house-cats running past her feet. Even inside the church, amidst the faded scent of frankincense and old wood there was the unmistakable odor of decay. That didn't stop her from praying, though. She had nothing left to try. She prayed that her father would recover, that her failure with the doctor wouldn't prove to be his death sentence.
"Holy God," she began again, "forgive me-"
"What should you be forgiven for, exactly?" said a voice from right next to her.
She looked up and saw a man next to her. He wore the robes of a priest. His grey hair looked silver in the candle-light of the church and his eyes looked so dark they seemed solid black.
"My father is sick," she swallowed past the lump in her throat. "He's dying."
"Did you make him sick?" the older man asked.
"No! Of course not, I'm praying that he-"
"Then why are you asking for forgiveness?"
"Because…I don't know what else to do. I went to the doctor and asked him to come with me but he said it was too late, he closed the door." She took a shaky breath and brought her fingers down to the small coin-purse by her waist. "I don't want him to die. My mother, she…" She swallowed again, anger warring with despair. "He's all I have left."
The priest sighed solemnly and looked at the crucifix hanging at the front of the church. "Well, you certainly don't need to ask for forgiveness, my child. He died for your sins: your lord and savior."
She nodded, trying to find comfort in the priest's words though she felt none.
"The real question of course is whether your god cares enough to do anything to help you."
"Father?"
"He's let so many die already. Nearly this whole town. Your mother and now your father..." His eyes turned to her and looked down at her hand. "And you."
"Me?" She followed his gaze and saw an ugly black mark on the back of her hand. When she lifted it up closer, it smelled foul. Like death. "No, I- this wasn't here this morning."
"The Lord works swiftly," the priest said, shaking his head. "You have a few days at most. Run back to your father and spend your last hours together."
"No, I- I have to help him. I can't just go back without-" Her sorrow and fear overtook her and she sobbed uncontrollably.
"A pity. What a strange god that he'd let his children suffer this way. Hardly deserving of worship."
She stared up at the priest in disbelief. "What?"
He smiled, showing teeth, and turned towards the cross, into the candle-light. His eyes didn't just look black, they were solid black-as shiny as a beetle.
She stood and stumbled back a few steps, until her foot caught on the kneeler of the pew and she fell, landing in the center of the aisle.
The priest was suddenly looking down at her, even though she hadn't seen him move. He held his hand down, offering to help her stand.
"But I'm sick. If you touch me-"
"Unlike yours, my God protects me. Disease and death cannot touch me anymore."
She took his hand and stood, meeting his dark eyes with equal parts fear and fascination. "Who is your god?"
"Lucifer. The Morningstar. The most beautiful of all the angels. The only one who refused to bow to those beneath him. The one who made us what we are."
The candle-light flickered and seemed to grow brighter as her mind spun. "You mean the Devil?"
"Only to those who blame all the world's woes on Him. To us He is salvation. He knows what we are in our hearts and He loves us for it. He knows what this world is, and who it belongs to." He smiled and put his arm on her shoulder, turning her to face the cross. "I can heal you. Make you strong. I can give you the power to heal your father."
Her heart skipped a beat. "Yes." She only paused for a moment before adding, "Please, yes."
A cold gust of wind brushed her cheek, and for just a moment, she thought the crucifix looked slick with blood.
Ruby's breath was knocked out of her before she even registered Sam move. He crashed into her, big fingers wrapped tight around her shoulders, and pushed her face-down into the grass.
A buttonhole on the front of her shirt tore as Sam pushed the fabric up high with one hand, holding her legs down with the other. He brought his tongue across the largest of her wounds and lapped at it greedily.
For a moment, she was glad he couldn't see her face, because she couldn't suppress her grin. She focused on her torn flesh, making sure the skin stayed open, not wanting to discourage Sam. If he still had a taste for her blood, then everything she'd worked for wasn't in vain. She would make the Vessel ready again.
Sam made a contented noise deep in his throat and closed his mouth around the wound, pulling more blood to the surface. He worked his way from one cut to the next, until he reached the last, just by the small of her back. He ran his tongue across it, just once, and then stopped.
The click of his belt buckle was almost buried under the soft thrum of his power. Ruby felt it prickling under her skin, as he ran his mind over the contours of her soul. She wasn't sure he even knew what he was doing. Or how much she loved it.
She pushed herself up onto her forearms and looked back at him. His eyes were as dark as the night around them, and he was still focused on the marks across her back as he reached around her waist, unbuttoned her pants, yanked them off impatiently and pushed into her.
Sam had never been gentle. Back when she'd first kissed him, he'd fought her every step of the way. When he finally gave in it was in anger and self-loathing. Even after months together he didn't let himself feel pleasure. She saw him a few times, right as he caught himself-stopped himself from giving in completely. His face turned vicious and he'd fuck her like it was a battle. Afterwards, he'd look at her, green eyes wide with guilt, and tell her he was sorry. He was always sorry back in those days, apologizing like it was a path to redemption.
This was different. He moved just as forcefully, gripping her harder than he had any right to. If she were human, she'd be bruised, but she wasn't, and he knew it. His rhythm was steady, efficient, and he didn't stop once to focus on her. When he finished, he pushed himself off of her, stood up and got dressed. No kiss, not a single word of thanks or gratitude. Even when she looked in his mind there was no guilt, no trace of affection-just a hunger, sated.
"You really know how to make a girl feel special," she said, brushing a stray blade of grass from her hair.
"You're not a girl." Sam reached down and picked up her pants, shaking off the grass and dirt before handing them back to her.
"Fair enough," she said, frowning at her pants. She'd have to find a laundromat. Or new pants. They'd do for now, at any rate. "Let's stop somewhere that has a shower."
"Twenty miles to the nearest motel, at least."
"Need me to drive?" She looked him over. He seemed steadier than before, the little bit of blood he'd gotten from her wounds enough to stave off the withdrawal symptoms for now. But he'd need more soon.
"I'm fine. Let's go."
*******
The motel they found first was pretty shitty, even by their standards. The bed looked uneven, like one of the legs was just a little shorter than the others and the carpet was mostly stains. the shower, however, worked fine, much to Ruby's relief. She didn't bother with the towel when she came out, curious to see if she'd have the same effect on him he'd had on her. She'd expected to find Sam resting. They'd been at it for over 40 hours solid with no sleep. He had to be exhausted. But instead of being sprawled out on the bed starting to drift asleep, he was on the floor, in just his jeans, doing knuckle push-ups.
"You're not skeeved out by that carpet?" she asked, mildly nauseated.
"That's why I'm using my knuckles." He didn't even look up at her. His movements were steady and controlled. Perfect form.
"Thought you'd be tired after…everything." Sam used to fall asleep almost instantly after sex. She always thought it was kind of adorable. Tonight he'd driven them back here and had decided he still had the energy left for a workout.
"I'm not tired. Haven't been since you pulled me out."
"Huh." There was some significance to that, probably. A side-effect of being without his soul. "Shower's all yours."
"When I'm done," Sam said, continuing his push-ups.
Ruby debated on how long she should stand there naked and wait for him to notice. It's not like she was cold, but from the look of things Sam could keep going for another hour, and she'd still be standing there dripping on the ugly carpet.
Sam sat back on his heels and looked up her. "After I shower, we should track down that last werewolf."
Okay, now she was annoyed. "We can't. Not until it kills again. There's no spell I know that'll track some random werewolf. If I had its blood sure, but we didn't get any."
"Then we'll do it the old-fashioned way," Sam said and walked past her, towards the bathroom.
She sighed, annoyed at herself for being disappointed at his lack of interest, and jumped when his large hand slapped her on the ass.
*******
Ruby decided to pass the time by going shopping. She got back to the motel room just as Sam was pulling on a clean shirt. Phooey.
"Good idea," Sam said, nodding at the box in her hand.
"Well, I figured if we're gonna do research the old-fashioned way…" She sat down at the rickety little table, opened the box and pulled out the brand new laptop.
Sam came closer and sniffed the air.
"New computer smell getting you all excited?" She smirked. Maybe there was some of the old Sam left in there after all.
"Something like that." He pulled his knife out of his hip sheath and kneeled next to the chair she was sitting on. Then he wrapped his hand around her left arm and turned it over, palm facing up. He drew the knife across her wrist slowly and then laid it down on the table.
She watched him close his mouth over the wound, pleased and confused at the same time. He drank for a full minute, efficient and quick, but with no sign of the desperate hunger or pleasure she'd grown to love so much. "You're not worried?" she asked when he pulled back.
"About what?" He ran his thumb across his lower lip and brought it to his mouth, cleaning up the last drop of blood like it was a paper cut. "The blood?" He tilted his head to the side. "I like to hunt. I want to be as strong as I can be. As long as I keep the dosage right and consistent, there's no danger." He looked at her. "I do need to get a back-up supply though."
"Sam, I'm right here. I can give you all you need."
"I can't trust you."
As much as she wanted to protest, she couldn't. If she was going to win his trust again she had to prove herself. She would prove herself. She still had no idea what Lucifer had planned for her, why she'd been assigned to save this half of Sam. Whatever the reason, she had to make him trust her, and she would.
"We'll drain a few demons today. Stop by a hardware shop and get a cooling tank to keep the blood in. That way I have a back-up supply."
She nodded, keeping the bitterness off of her face. "Fine. Want me to track them down now?"
"No. I want you to teach me how to track them."
She raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think that's something I can teach you?"
"With enough of your blood I can kill demons. I can fling them around, send them to Hell, grab onto their souls and squeeze them until they pop. Last time around, that's all I wanted to learn. This time, I want you to teach me everything else."
It shouldn't have surprised her as much as it did, not really. After having Lucifer inside of him, Sam must have felt, on some level, how much she'd been holding back from him, and how much he was really capable of. Teaching him everything he could do was risky though. It would be a lot harder to keep secrets from him. Then again, maybe the time for secrets was over.
One day, she came back to her little house at the edge of the forest to find it engulfed in flames. The house where she'd grown up, the one where she still lived with her now very old and weak, but still otherwise healthy father, was burning. Black smoke poured from the windows, and she could smell burning hair and flesh amongst the wood. She saw torches lying on the ground just outside her door, and Mr. Henry the baker, standing just a few feet away, watching like he was transfixed. He gave her an odd look-fear at first and then a slow, cold smile of pride. She ran forward to the flames, hoping she could put them out before her father was lost, but it was too late, and she knew it. She tried anyway, summoning a rainstorm as quickly as she could, dousing the fire and willing the rest of it away with nothing but brute force. Her eyes ached, and her nose bled, but she didn't care.
The house was ruined, and her father's soul was long gone, even though his flesh was still smoldering. Mr. Henry was waiting for her when she came back out through the door.
"We know what you are. You're not welcome here," he said with conviction.
It took her a few tries before she could get her voice to work. "And my father? What has he ever done to you?"
"Any man who could have a thing like you for a daughter is already damned."
She didn't remember consciously deciding to hurt Mr. Henry, not exactly. She was so overcome with hate that everything fell completely still. All she could hear was her own blood, rushing through her veins, her heartbeat pounding in time with the lightning she'd called.
She left her burnt house with the corpse of her father still lying on his bed and Mr. Henry's bones sticking out of the scorched earth.
*******
Sam was a quick study. Within twenty minutes he'd picked up on a demon a few miles away.
Ruby offered to go there and bring them back, but Sam wanted to drive, wanted to make sure he could track them and find them all on his own.
"Is teleportation something I can learn?" he asked, his eyes on the road.
"Maybe, maybe not. Do you know how we do it?"
"If I did, I wouldn't be asking you."
"A demonic soul is always being pulled back towards Hell. Without a body to anchor us, we're just treading water. Flesh makes it easier to stay topside. But…we can take that pull-let it start to drag us back down and shift the course. All you have to do is focus on a part of Hell that's underneath where you need to go, and then dig your heels into the ground before you get sucked back in."
He scoffed. "Sounds risky."
"Gets easier with practice."
"What else can I do?"
"Plenty. Anything Azazel's other kids could do, with practice. You started with visions, right? Try some other head-tricks. You're good at grabbing onto demons, and that's really just a part of telekinesis anyway. Or mind-reading. Getting into people's heads should be easy for you."
"People's heads? That include demons?"
"Demons were people once." She wasn't gonna give him the satisfaction of seeing her sweat. He'd already said he didn't trust her. That's why they were out on this milk-run to begin with.
Sam narrowed his eyes and stared out at the road. "We're close. He's less than ten miles away." His lips curled, but it was far too cold to be a smile.
"You know the trouble is-the stronger you get, the more likely they are to sense you coming, too."
"Could've mentioned that earlier."
"And you should have known that already. Come on, Sam. I might not have taught you everything last time, but you have to remember the basics, at least."
"Hex bags," he muttered. "We need black-bird bones, graveyard dust, asafoetida, vervain…"
"At least you remembered the ingredients." She gave his knee a pat. "Back in a bit."
It didn't take her long to find what she needed. Barely five minutes. That still didn't keep Sam from flinching in irritated surprise when she appeared back in the passenger seat without any forewarning.
She ignored him and set to work, spreading out the two square pieces of cloth on her lap and placing the right combination of herbs, dust and bone in the center of each. "There," she said and held up the two small bags she'd made, concentrating. "Sumus occulo." The bags glowed briefly as her magic gave them purpose. "Now we're off the radar for both sides."
"Thanks," Sam said. "And he hasn't moved, in case you're wondering."
"Did you also happen to pick up on the fact that he's got two friends with him?"
Sam's nostrils flared in annoyance.
"One plus two isn't one. Just saying."
"I can take three. No problem."
"Of course you can. And how many empty jugs did you bring?"
Sam didn't answer, which told her everything she needed to know.
"Good thing I brought extra then, isn't it?"
"What would I do without you?" he said evenly. "They're in there." He nodded at the bar on the side of the road.
"Public area. Gonna be tricky."
"No it won't." Sam smirked. "My brother and I spent our whole lives doing this kinda thing."
"Blood-letting demons?"
"Learning how to be quiet."
Ruby had to admit Sam was good. The demons hadn't cast them a second glance when they first walked in. Partially thanks to the hex bags, of course. The three of them were at a pool table in the back, watching the crowd, probably to pick out new meat-suits.
Sam stood by the bar, positioning himself so he could watch them in the mirror. He saw one of the demons follow a man into the bathroom, and went after him. Ruby followed a minute later and got to the bathroom just in time to see the human target piss himself when the demon's eyes flipped black.
Sam grabbed the demon by the shoulder, and the man ran. Ruby stopped him by the door, and knocked him unconscious, not wanting him to alert the rest of the patrons. She nudged her shopping bags to the side as the man slumped to the floor.
The demon Sam had grabbed found itself being pushed harder into the wall next to the hand dryer, by force alone, as Sam took a few steps back, his hand raised, palm out.
It glared at him and hissed, "Winchester."
"That's right," Sam said. "Call your friends in here."
"Why would I want to do that?" the demon asked.
"Who said anything about want?" The demon's eyes widened, and it started to gasp as Sam closed his fingers into a fist. "Call them. Now," Sam commanded.
The door swung open a few seconds later, and Ruby waved at the two newcomers before Sam had them pinned too. One flat against the ceiling and the other in-between two of the stall doors.
Ruby pulled the swinging door shut and locked it. Kneeling down, she reached into the two bags she'd carried in and pulled out a funnel and one of the empty gallon jugs. "Which one do you want me to start with?"
"Not this one," Sam said, focusing again on the demon in front of him. "He's nice and scared. I want to practice digging around in his brain a little."
"Okay, just don't dig too hard or you might snuff him out early."
"Wouldn't want that."
"No, we wouldn't. Don't waste a free refuel." Ruby flipped the top off of the empty jug and stuck the funnel inside of it, then she walked over to the scrawny black-eyed man pinned to her left and smiled up at him. "Hi."
"What are you doing?" The demon eyed her nervously as she reached into her pocket, pulled out the butterfly knife she'd picked up at the surplus store and flicked it open. "Let me go."
The demon opened its borrowed mouth and tried to escape its host, but Sam held it in place. Ruby didn't even have to help. He wasn't out of practice in the slightest, if anything, he'd gotten better.
"You're not going anywhere," Ruby looked him over, trying to decide which artery to start with. She brought her knife to his right knee, pulled the fabric of his jeans away from his leg, pierced the denim and started to cut carefully up, until most of his inner thigh was exposed. With one precise movement, she made a small but deep cut in his skin, piercing the femoral artery. Blood started to spill out and she brought the edge of the funnel to his skin, making sure to catch every drop. She pressed the plastic deep into his flesh, making the blood flow just a little faster.
On the other side of the bathroom, Sam's breath hitched and he turned to look over his shoulder at them. His eyes were dark with hunger and he looked at the jug in Ruby's hand like a starving man eyeing a sirloin steak. He turned away again, his shoulders rising and falling as he took deep steadying breaths. He wasn't going to hold out much longer. Soulless or not, the blood still had a hold on him. Good to know.
"That's Sam Winchester, isn't it?" the demon asked, his eyes locked on the back of Sam's head.
Holding the funnel steady, Ruby looked up at the possessed man. "You're a genius. Yes, that's Sam Winchester."
"I thought he threw himself into Lucifer's cage."
"He did."
"Is he going to kill me?"
"Probably."
"Pro- probably? Can you ask him not to?" The demon winced as Ruby forced more of his blood down the artery she'd opened. There was a real advantage to having fine-tuned her psychic muscles to this point. Throwing a person against a wall was easy, moving liquid through the arterial network of the human body was a different story entirely. She grabbed another empty jug and slipped it under the funnel, then capped the full jug and gave it a mental push towards the far wall, where her bags were.
"Ruby." Sam had pulled his own knife out of its sheath and was playing with it, his fingers flipping the knife handle back and forth.
"Yeah?"
"How much longer 'til your done with that one?"
"Not long," she smiled up at the demon and squeezed his heart one more time, forcing the rest of the blood down and out into the funnel.
"This one next," Sam said, his voice low. She could hear the impatience in his voice.
"All set," she said winking up at the demon. She carried the half full jug, another empty one, and the funnel over to Sam, who looked back at the drained demon.
"I don't want him telling anybody else what we did here," Sam said. He nodded towards the jug in Ruby's hand.
She pulled out the funnel and handed it to him. "Bottoms up."
Sam's jaw twitched, just once, and then he held the mouth of the jug up to his lips and drank.
Ruby watched the muscles in his neck work as he drained the half gallon she'd gathered. His power spiked, pushing harder into all of the demons in the room. Including her. Luckily, he could still tell her apart from the others, and instead of pinning her in place, his power thrummed through her soul-a heady mix of pleasure and pain so intense Ruby nearly fell to her knees. He let go of her seconds later, and she reached out to steady herself against the wall, stifling a moan.
She opened her eyes again when she heard the crackle of a demon burning behind her. He killed the demon she'd emptied in a matter of seconds. The metal frame of the stalls was warped from where Sam had pushed into him, and one of the stall doors swung open, creaking noisily, as the body fell to the floor with a muted thump.
Sam turned to her, his irises solid black and smiled. His teeth were stained red with blood as he leaned down to hand the now-empty jug back to her.
"Nicely done," she said, ignoring the shiver running down her spine for the moment. He didn't have to know the way he made her feel when he was like this. "Want me to get started on this one?" she asked, pointing up at the demon next to Sam.
He nodded and stepped away from the wall, leaving Ruby to her work, and walked to the center of the bathroom underneath the third demon that he'd pinned to the ceiling earlier. With a casual flick of his fingers he sent it crashing down to the floor. He pushed against the skinny, male body with the tip of his boot, rolling him over until he was lying on his back.
Ruby turned her focus back on the demon next to her and started to cut through his jeans, just above the knee. She pulled the fabric back and away from the skin and brought the funnel up to his bared leg, then picked up the empty jug and stuck it under the funnel. It wasn't until she brought the knife to his skin that she realized he hadn't made a sound. Not a peep. "Don't worry, it'll be over soon."
"Lucifer…" the demon said, so quietly it was nearly a whisper.
"No, that's Sam, Lucifer's vessel." She cut into the demon's thigh, catching the blood in her funnel, mentally speeding up the blood flow right away, not wanting to push their luck. Someone else was bound to need the bathroom in a few minutes, and it'd be better to be long gone before then.
The demon's black eyes whipped down to her. "I'm not an idiot, I can tell the difference between a human and our god. But if he's free, then doesn't that mean-"
"Not yet." Ruby watched the jug fill. "But soon." She looked up at him. "Have faith."
"I try, I do, but with the new king, it's hard."
"The new king?" Figured somebody had scrambled for the throne, but she had no idea who. Nobody left down there had any right holding the title. If anything, Sam was the next in line, soul or no.
"He kills the true believers. The ones he knows about anyway."
The jug was starting to fill and she pulled the next empty one towards her. Carefully she clamped down on the artery and swapped out the containers. "Who's the new king?"
He stared down at her. "You don't know?"
She smirked. "I've been out of the loop for a bit."
"Crowley."
"Crowley? Cross-roads Crowley?"
"What about Crowley?" Sam asked from behind her.
"Apparently he promoted himself to king of Hell," Ruby said.
"Did he?" Sam asked, tilting his head to catch the demon's eyes.
A warm drop fell on Ruby's hand. The funnel had slipped just the tiniest bit, but enough for some of the blood to trickle along the edge and down the side. She adjusted the funnel and caught the last few drops, throwing a smile to the demon.
He nodded at her and kept his head down, eyes turned away from Sam.
Carefully, Ruby put the jug down and wiped her thumb over the rim of the funnel to push what she could inside.
Sam caught her by the wrist just as she stood up. "You sure you got every drop?" he asked, his eyes still two black circles.
"Of course. See for yourself."
Sam brought her hand up to his mouth and sucked the blood off her thumb. Ruby could see the black from his irises bleed infinitesimally wider. He let go of her wrist, turned to the demon and narrowed his eyes. The man's body lit up gold, and the demon gasped as it burned from the inside out. The emptied shell fell to the floor.
"You know there were still two souls in there, right?"
"The body was totally drained, he wouldn't have survived anyway."
"If you'd killed the demon, and left the human soul where it was, it would've gone where it belonged-up or down."
"Since when do you care?"
"I just thought you'd want to know." She glanced inside of Sam's mind, looking for some glimmer of remorse, or at least an acknowledgement of what he'd done. There was nothing-just a mild sense of satisfaction and an undercurrent of pride.
"One to go, Ruby. Get rid of these two corpses and I'll finish up the last one. Come back when you're done."
Something inside of her bristled at constantly being given orders. Back when she'd last been by Sam's side, she'd done as he asked most of the time, because it was part of the mission: win his trust, help him grow stronger, make him need her. But now she didn't have a plan. She didn't know what it was she was supposed to be guiding him towards. Tonight, it felt like he had a clearer path than she did, and that-she didn't like one bit.
*******
Over the next few weeks, Ruby stayed quiet. She watched, just like she'd done the first time around, when Sam was still young and as innocent as the Devil's true vessel could ever hope to be. She hadn't figured out this new configuration yet, but she would. Patience had always been her strong suit. That was one of the main reasons Lucifer and Lilith had chosen her. She was one of the few demons that could wait however long she had to for just the right moment.
So that's what she did.
Sam remembered what Lucifer had been capable of. He wrote up a list of every power, every ability he could think of. Ruby had to cross off nearly half of them. Some things were beyond him-strictly angel territory, others she thought he might be able to learn, but she didn't have a clue where to start. Quite a few were skills only incorporeal beings possessed, so those were a no-go. But even after editing down her list she had over three-dozen left that Sam was fully capable of learning, given enough blood and enough practice.
Some things came to him naturally. Telekinesis was something he'd had a predisposition towards even before she came to him, so it was just a matter of him understanding that he could move things that didn't have demons in them too. The lesson ended up being more about when to use tweezers instead of a sledgehammer. Sam was good at lifting things and hurtling them through the air, but when she tried to get him to open a soda can without touching it he spent a full two minutes trying to lift the tab only to end up crushing the whole can, covering them both in Dr. Pepper.
His physical strength had started to inch towards superhuman territory already, which made their hunts go that much faster. She was still stronger than him, in that respect, but he'd catch up soon enough.
Telepathy was third on Sam's list and even though Ruby would've much rather waited, she knew he'd figure it out on his own if he set his mind to it. He'd tried with the demon at the bar, even though she had no idea if he'd had any luck. She showed him only the basics, how to pick up on something she was trying to tell him, and how he could send a thought to her. Mind-control would require a lot more practice and a lot more blood. She expected fall-out within a matter of hours, thinking that he'd, in typical Sam fashion, practice and practice until he hit a wall and then practice again. She strengthened the defenses in her own mind, making sure to keep the important bits locked up tight where he couldn't get to them without her noticing. But the first day went by without incident. He wasn't all that interested in reading her thoughts, after all. He just liked the tactical advantage it would give them.
They moved right onto spell-work, number four on his list. She had a ton of knowledge to share, and true to her word, she taught Sam everything useful. Obfuscation, summonings, tracking spells. When she used a spell involving fire, she brought it to life with a thought, the small flame consuming the herbs in the bowl within seconds.
"You crossed that off the list," Sam said. "Fire."
"Because you can't call fire. Not yet."
"When?"
"When you're ready."
"I'm ready."
"No, you're not." She snapped, a small flame dancing on the tip of her pointer finger and brought it to his forearm.
"Ow!" he pulled his arm back and glared at the red circular burn on his skin.
The smell of singed arm-hair drifted into her nostrils and she gave Sam a look. "You're strong Sam, you're getting stronger, but you're not fire-proof, and until you can keep fire from burning you, you can't control it. Not completely."
"How long?"
"Don't know. It's not exactly part of the standard package, even where I come from."
"You use fire. Azazel used fire. All the time. He fed me his blood."
"He fed you three drops when you were a baby. That doesn't exactly make you his equal. Plus, he was one of the Fallen."
"As in…fallen angel?"
"No, a domino."
Sam glared at her.
"What other kind of Fallen could I possibly be talking about?" She huffed, thinking that quite possibly some of Sam's brains had stayed behind in the cage. "He used to be an angel. Only Lucifer kept his grace. All the angels that fell with him became something else."
"Demons." Sam's brow furrowed. "I killed Lilith and Alistair. Two of the strongest."
"Two of the strongest that came from humans. The Fallen were a whole different ballgame."
"Were?"
"Azazel was the last one." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Angels killed all the others."
"That's why Lilith was next in line."
"No, you were next in line. But you weren't interested." Ruby eyed him curiously. "Any interest now?"
"In being king of Hell?" Sam scoffed. "No thanks."
"Why not? You'd have an army of demons. More than enough power to take down just about anything. You'd-"
"Do you think I'm stupid?"
A beat passed and Ruby watched him, cooly. "No."
"The only reason you're here with me now is because that's exactly what you want me to do. You think there's some way for me to break open the cage and free Lucifer again."
She kept looking at him, challenging him to go on. If there was ever a time to get it all out in the open, this was it. Better for him to ask the right questions now, then go poking around in her head once he figured out how. "I think there might be."
"It's not gonna happen." Sam stood, and walked over to the sink to get himself a glass of water. "I like it up here. I'm staying up here. And there's no way I'm ever going to help you free Lucifer."
"Fine."
For just a second, Sam looked genuinely flustered. He looked like Sam, and something in her gut clenched. She missed him. As frustrating as he'd been, she'd cared about him more than she should have. The man that damned the world out of love and a bone-deep need for revenge.
Revenge she understood.
During her last minutes as a human, when they'd tied her down and burned her, the ropes cutting into her skin-she'd screamed: in fear at first, then in desperation, hoping that someone would take pity on her, that someone who she'd helped would defend her. But no one came to her aid. Twelve people watched, with eyes as cold as any demon's, and none of them shed a tear. The sky opened then, a heavy rain pouring down, the water hissing as it hit the flames. For a moment she thought her salvation had come, that the one she'd pledged herself to had sent the storm just for her. Lightning crashed, the fire grew weaker and she felt a righteous fury so strong and so pure that all her pain vanished.
"You don't deserve this world," she said, her voice loud in the sudden quiet of the crowd. "I will live and I will take it from you." She meant every word, and as her body shut down, as the flesh around her eyes bubbled until she could no longer see, she felt herself shed her body. She slipped out of it like a snake shedding its skin and became something else. Wrath. Justice. The Devil's instrument.