Valentine's Day Edition
You may be wondering why I'm writing about Valentine's Day in October. Well the answer is, I'm not.
The following fic is indeed about Valentine's Day, but it wasn't written in October. It was originally written and posted at my journal on--you guessed it--Valentine's Day. But I figure, where the Fandom Heartthrobs are involved, every day is Valentine's Day, right...?
Not buying it? Fine. Just pretend it's February, okay?
[Sesshomaru, Legolas, and Lucius Malfoy are sitting on a park bench watching humans (or in Lucius's case, "Muggles") pass them by.]
Legolas: So fellas, today's Valentine's Day. We should really do something for all our fangirls, if you know what I mean.
Lucius: *sigh* Oh all right... [Lucius starts taking off his shirt--]
Sesshomaru: Valentine's Day? What's that?
Legolas: For crying out loud, Lucius, keep your clothes on! That's not what I meant.
Sesshomaru: Valentine's Day? What's that?
Lucius: Well, geez, Legs, how was I supposed to know? The way you said it...you elves are such poncy buggers anyway.
Sesshomaru: Hello? Are you listening to me?
Legolas: You know, Lucius, that is so like you. Always ready to take your clothes off at a moment's notice...
Sesshomaru: You two are starting to piss me off.
Lucius: Legs, is this about your birthday party 200 years ago? Because I swear I was drunk. Come on. Put it in the past already.
Sesshomaru: *sigh* You bastards leave me no choice... [Sesshomaru pulls out Tokijin and whacks them across the head with the blunt part of the blade.]
Legolas: OWW!
Lucius: BLOODY HELL! What the hell was that for?
Sesshomaru: I've been asking for the past 5 minutes what Valentine's Day is. I don't think we had such a thing in Feudal Japan.
Lucius: Geez, no need to get all buggered about it. You tell him, Legs.
Legolas: Stopcallingmethat. Ok, Valentine's Day. Right. Well, forget its origins. Nowadays, Valentine's Day is about an expression of love.
Sesshomaru: An expression of love?
Lucius: Exactly. You're supposed to give your sweetie a Valentine.
Sesshomaru: What's a Valentine?
Lucius: Hm, it's kind of hard to explain if you haven't seen one.
Legolas: It's a small token of one's affection. A gift from the heart, you might say.
Lucius: A heart! That's it. A Valentine is a heart.
Sesshomaru: Ohhh! I get it!
Legolas: Yeah, and like I was saying, I think we should give all our appreciative fangirls a Valentine today. You know, to show them how much we love the money that they end up spending on our trademarked merchandise.
Lucius: Exactly. But where are we going to get a Valentine?
Sesshomaru: Heh, that's no problem. Leave it to me.
[A man is walking by the park bench. Promptly, Sesshomaru reaches over with his claws out and pulls out his heart.]
Legolas: EWWWWWWW!!!
Lucius: BLOODY HELL!!!
Sesshomaru: What? Whaaaat? What'd I do?
Legolas: *sigh* Oy guvolt. We better wrap this up.
Lucius: So from all of us to all of you...
Sesshomaru, Legolas, Lucius: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
[Sesshomaru holds out the heart, blood dripping down his hand.]
Lucius: Uhhhh, you better get rid of that thing, mate.
Legolas: Oh, he we go. [He takes the heart and throws it in a park garbage can.]
Lucius: Cheers.
Next time on Adventures of the Fandom Heartthrobs: Costume Party
The following fic is indeed about Valentine's Day, but it wasn't written in October. It was originally written and posted at my journal on--you guessed it--Valentine's Day. But I figure, where the Fandom Heartthrobs are involved, every day is Valentine's Day, right...?
Not buying it? Fine. Just pretend it's February, okay?
[Sesshomaru, Legolas, and Lucius Malfoy are sitting on a park bench watching humans (or in Lucius's case, "Muggles") pass them by.]
Legolas: So fellas, today's Valentine's Day. We should really do something for all our fangirls, if you know what I mean.
Lucius: *sigh* Oh all right... [Lucius starts taking off his shirt--]
Sesshomaru: Valentine's Day? What's that?
Legolas: For crying out loud, Lucius, keep your clothes on! That's not what I meant.
Sesshomaru: Valentine's Day? What's that?
Lucius: Well, geez, Legs, how was I supposed to know? The way you said it...you elves are such poncy buggers anyway.
Sesshomaru: Hello? Are you listening to me?
Legolas: You know, Lucius, that is so like you. Always ready to take your clothes off at a moment's notice...
Sesshomaru: You two are starting to piss me off.
Lucius: Legs, is this about your birthday party 200 years ago? Because I swear I was drunk. Come on. Put it in the past already.
Sesshomaru: *sigh* You bastards leave me no choice... [Sesshomaru pulls out Tokijin and whacks them across the head with the blunt part of the blade.]
Legolas: OWW!
Lucius: BLOODY HELL! What the hell was that for?
Sesshomaru: I've been asking for the past 5 minutes what Valentine's Day is. I don't think we had such a thing in Feudal Japan.
Lucius: Geez, no need to get all buggered about it. You tell him, Legs.
Legolas: Stopcallingmethat. Ok, Valentine's Day. Right. Well, forget its origins. Nowadays, Valentine's Day is about an expression of love.
Sesshomaru: An expression of love?
Lucius: Exactly. You're supposed to give your sweetie a Valentine.
Sesshomaru: What's a Valentine?
Lucius: Hm, it's kind of hard to explain if you haven't seen one.
Legolas: It's a small token of one's affection. A gift from the heart, you might say.
Lucius: A heart! That's it. A Valentine is a heart.
Sesshomaru: Ohhh! I get it!
Legolas: Yeah, and like I was saying, I think we should give all our appreciative fangirls a Valentine today. You know, to show them how much we love the money that they end up spending on our trademarked merchandise.
Lucius: Exactly. But where are we going to get a Valentine?
Sesshomaru: Heh, that's no problem. Leave it to me.
[A man is walking by the park bench. Promptly, Sesshomaru reaches over with his claws out and pulls out his heart.]
Legolas: EWWWWWWW!!!
Lucius: BLOODY HELL!!!
Sesshomaru: What? Whaaaat? What'd I do?
Legolas: *sigh* Oy guvolt. We better wrap this up.
Lucius: So from all of us to all of you...
Sesshomaru, Legolas, Lucius: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
[Sesshomaru holds out the heart, blood dripping down his hand.]
Lucius: Uhhhh, you better get rid of that thing, mate.
Legolas: Oh, he we go. [He takes the heart and throws it in a park garbage can.]
Lucius: Cheers.
Next time on Adventures of the Fandom Heartthrobs: Costume Party