My Own Pretty Glossolalia Machine
Throughout the ages there have been ecstatic movements that have embraced one form of glossolalia or other, the private or collective experience of speaking in tongues, utterances that are not of one's own, usually attributed to and employed in the worship of some deity.
And even though I've never participated in such, ever since I was a young lad I found that song lyrics sometimes expressed my thoughts and feelings better than I ever could, that I could close my eyes and use the words of others to take me to a different state, frothing with memories, capturing the essence of my fears and hopes and longings.
Anyway, here are a few lyrics that have been running in my head the past few weeks, some partial, some complete, some that make me think, shudder, smile, tear up - and sometimes just sing along - my own pretty glossolalia machine.
*) "Through The Bars" - Elliott Smith
"Drink up, baby, stay up all night, The things you could do, you won't but you might, The potential you'll be that you'll never see. The promises you'll only make - Drink up with me now and forget all about, The pressure of days, do what I say, And I'll make you okay and drive them away, The images stuck in your head - People you've been before that you don't want around anymore, That push and shove and won't bend to your will, I'll keep them still - Drink up, baby, look at the stars, I'll kiss you again between the bars, Where I'm seeing you there with your hands in the air, Waiting to finally be caught - Drink up one more time and I'll make you mine, Keep you apart, deep in my heart, Separate from the rest, where I like you the best, And keep the things you forgot - The people you've been before that you don't want around anymore, That push and shove and won't bend to your will, I'll keep them still"
*) "Hurt" - Nine In Nails
"I hurt myself today, To see if I still feel, I focus on the pain, The only thing that's real, The needle tears a hole, The old familiar sting, Try to kill it all away, But I remember everything - What have I become?, My sweetest friend, Everyone I know goes away in the end - You could have it all - My empire of dirt, I will let you down, I will make you hurt - I wear this crown of sh*t, Upon my liar's chair, Full of broken thoughts, I cannot repair, Beneath the stains of time, The feelings disappear, You are someone else, I am still right here - What have I become? My sweetest friend, Everyone I know goes away in the end, And you could have it all, My empire of dirt, I will let you down, I will make you hurt - If I could start again, A million miles away, I would keep myself, I would find a way"
*) "Cosmic Love" - Florence and the Machine
"A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes, I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind -The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out, You left me in the dark, No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight, In the shadow of your heart - And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat, I tried to find the sound, But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness, So darkness I became - The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out, You left me in the dark, No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight, In the shadow of your heart -I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map, And knew that somehow I could find my way back, Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too, So I stayed in the darkness with you - The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out, You left me in the dark, No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight, In the shadow of your heart"
*) "I Feel Fantastic" - Jonathan Coulton
"I get up early when the sleeping pill wakes me, I take a wake up pill and fill with energy, I power on hard and I check my messages, But I don’t have any messages, I take a driving pill and head to my car, I drive around a bit cuz work isn’t very far, I call my phone and I check my messages, But I don’t have any messages - All I know is driving on drugs feels better when they’re prescription, All I know is the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful - And I feel fantastic, And I never felt as good as how I do right now, Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day, When I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now - Work is anything but quiet these days, I try to medicate my concentration haze. I can feel the day unfold in front of me, So I take the stairs and hit the gym, The phone is ringing when I get to my desk, What was a stinging’s now a sharp pain in my chest, So I take a Calminex and just chill, And then it’s time for lunch again - All I know is work is easy when you don’t stress out about deadlines, All I know is I take my medicine, I always take my medicine - And I feel fantastic, And I never felt as good as how I do right now, Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day, When I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now."
*) "Brave" - The Innocence Mission
"You paint a tulip red with joy. You say the psalm, I will not fear. Somehow, knowing what you do know, still you tremble out and in - You cry up in your room, Aunt Ruthie comes, You cannot sitll your limbs. Somehow, knowing what you do know, still you tremble out and in - You see how I go to pieces, that I'm laying on the ground, like the sky is so heavy, when I could be, Brave - You go outside. You see the Holy Spirit, burning in your trees, and walk on, glowing with the same glow, still you tremble out and in - And the birds of all your yellow teacups sing, and you know this hymn, Somehow, knowing what you know, still you tremble out and in - Oh I know it, I know it, here is God beside, I meant it. I meant I'm sure of that. But the sky is tall and heavy, when I could be brave - Brave."
*) "Better" - Regina Spektor
"If I kiss you where it's sore, If I kiss you where it's sore, Will you feel better, better, better, Will you feel anything at all, Will you feel better, better, better, Will you feel anything at all? - Born like sisters to this world, In a town where blood ties are only blood, If you never say your name out loud to anyone, They can never ever call you by it - If I kiss you where it's sore, If I kiss you where it's sore, Will you feel better, better, better, Will you feel anything at all, Will you feel better, better, better, Will you feel anything at all? - You're getting sadder, getting sadder, getting sadder, getting sadder, And I don't understand, and I don't understand, But if I kiss you where it's sore, If I kiss you where it's sore, Will you feel better, better, better, Will you feel anything at all?"
*) "Hallelujah" - Leonard Cohen
"Now, I've heard there was a secret chord, That David played and it pleased the Lord, But you don't really care for music, do you? It goes like this: the fourth, the fifth, The minor fall, the major lift, The baffled king composing Hallelujah - Your faith was strong but you needed proof, You saw her bathing on the roof, Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you, She tied you to a kitchen chair, She broke your throne and she cut your hair, And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah - You say I took the name in vain, I don't even know the name, But if I did, well really, what's it to you? There's a blaze of light in every word, It doesn't matter which you heard, The holy or the broken Hallelujah - I did my best, it wasn't much, I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch - I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you, And even though it all went wrong, I'll stand before the Lord of Song, With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah"
*) "Muzzle" - Smashing Pumpkins
"I fear that I am ordinary, just like everyone, to lie here and die among the sorrows, adrift among the days for everything i ever said, and everything I've ever done is gone and dead, as all things must surely have to end, and great loves will one day have to part, I know that i am meant for this world, my life has been extraordinary, blessed and cursed and won, time heals but I'm forever broken, by and by the way...have you ever heard the words I'm singing in these songs? it's for the girl I've loved all along, can a taste of love be so wrong - as all things must surely have to end, and great loves will one day have to part, I know that I am meant for this world, and in my mind as I was floating, far above the clouds, some children laughed I'd fall for certain, for thinking that I'd last forever - but i knew exactly where I was, and I knew the meaning of it all, and I knew the distance to the sun, and I knew the echo that is love, and I knew the secrets in your spires, and I knew the emptiness of youth, and I knew the solitude of heart, and I knew the murmurs of the soul, and the world is drawn into your hands, and the world is etched upon your heart and the world so hard to understand, is the world your can't live without, and I knew the silence of the world"
*) "May You Never" - Michael Johnson
"May you never lay your head down without a hand to hold, May you never make your bed out in the cold, May you never lose your temper if you get into a barroom fight, May you never lose your woman overnight - So please, won't you please, won't you bear it in mind: Love is a lesson to learn in our time, Please, won't you please, bear it in mind for me."
*) "The End" - The Beatles
"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make"