Another birthday ruined.
Mom, me, and MOTHER severing whatever fragile MOTHER-daughter bonds may have existed between us. FOR LIFE!!!!
So it was my second birthday today, and the maters threw a party that would have been awesome if I was a normal 2 year old, but I'm NOT!!! So I'm like, what the hell are these unironic Tigger balloons?!?!? Why don't you guys be a little more in denial about my freakishness???? Oh god! Don't you even know me at all YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME AT ALL!!! At least mom got me that Twilight cake I asked for.
How could they do this to me?? I may be two, but everybody knows I'm an old soul. That guy who hangs out the bus stop even says so. Did you know there are some sects in the world that think I'm the second coming because of the whole sorta-immaculate conception thing? Would you throw a birthday party like this for Jesus????? I don't think so!!!!! Is it my fault I matured super fast? No!! It's the fault of my FREAK PARENTS!!!!!!! I HATE BEING THEIR FREAK KID, AND I HATE MY BELLA LIPSTICK, AND I HATE MY STUPID FISHER PRICE ROLLER SKATES MOST OF ALL!!! RRRRRRRGHGHHHHHHHH!!!!
Needless to say, it was the most embarrassing day of my life, and the next time I run away and they dare ask why, I want you guys to just send them this picture.