Comments | bleach_het: The One Who Got Away (Yoruichi/Byakuya)

unedited in bleach_het

The One Who Got Away (Yoruichi/Byakuya)

Nov 07, 2007 15:47

Title: The One Who Got Away
Author: kay_willow
Content: Yoruichi/Byakuya
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1430 words
Notes: For the 100_women prompt "first". I'm experimenting with lots of things while I'm doing it. :D

Summary: You always remember the one who got away. That's why Yoruichi likes making sure that no one can ever catch her.

( You're going to remember me until the day you die, little lord. )

yoruichi, byakuya/yoruichi

Comments 26

kane_shi_megami November 8 2007, 01:01:53 UTC

WONDERFULLY written. <3 I heart Yourichi and Byakuya fics. :)

unedited November 9 2007, 17:06:16 UTC

Thanks so much! Their interaction was the first thing I really liked about him. :3 So he isn't better than everyone...

cal_reflector November 8 2007, 02:09:00 UTC

This is a lovely story. You portray their back story very persuasively, Yoriuchi comes alive in your writing: loves to play, loves even more to win. I have read a story about them before on aff, this is the only the second one that really does them justice together in a story. Fantastic!

unedited November 9 2007, 17:08:34 UTC

I'm really happy you liked it! Yoruichi is an absolutely delightful character, so I really wanted to capture some of that while she was bullying Byakuya. XD Thanks for reading!

cal_reflector November 9 2007, 17:39:44 UTC

One thing though; I wonder if Yoruichi gets pleasure from knowing whether Byakua thinks of her at night instead of Hisana. It seems a bit cruel, even for her.

Their aristocratic background, their utterly contrasting characters and types of coolness, the game of flash step tag they play, man chasing woman... oh, I wonder why there isn't more of them written?

unedited November 9 2007, 17:47:13 UTC

I don't think Yoruichi would really want it, like, she doesn't hope and pray that he'd be in a miserable marriage because of her or that he'd rather have her than his dead wife back. She'd be fine if he just -- wanted her. But I think that the idea that it might go that far adds a little spice to the game, makes it a little more fun. If he ever came to her crying about how he can't sleep at night and hates himself for not loving his wife enough because he wants her, that wouldn't be fun, she couldn't enjoy that. But the maybe, the forbidden conceit, is kind of intoxicating, in my mind.

And in today's manga chapter (299) he actually mentions her. XD Good timing for this fic. Maybe there'll even be a little backstory, and then more people will write this. :3

Thread 10

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unedited November 9 2007, 17:09:37 UTC

I had to sit for a while and go, "What would Byakuya be like as a child? Just a miniature version of himself. Lame." It was a while before I thought, "Aha, maybe a slightly more insecure and therefore bratty version of himself." And it works! XD

shayheyred November 8 2007, 02:40:49 UTC

This is truly fantastic. I love their relationship here. I've always felt sorry for Byakuya, I guess-- no more so than now. Maybe some day, in canon, he'll play a game of tag for fun.

unedited November 9 2007, 17:11:11 UTC

Never! He does not have "fun". Fun is for lesser people. I'm glad you liked it, and while I sympathize more with Yoruichi -- the expressionless facade he likes is boring! -- I also felt more for Byakuya by the end of it. He lost the game pretty hard.

I'm glad you enjoyed~ ♥

jetamors November 8 2007, 03:09:51 UTC

Ooh, really nice; I like how you write both of them.

unedited November 9 2007, 17:11:41 UTC

Thanks, and thanks for reading!