Finish-a-thon: Icarus Drowning (B7)
Title: Icarus Drowning
Fandom: Blake's 7
Description: Blake is turned into a woman by an alien device. He makes the best of it. After all, the Federation doesn't know he's a woman.
Type: Slash and het. (Rated PG13?)
Author's comments: I wish you more joy reading this fic than I had writing it.
The first thing Blake noticed when he came to was that nothing hurt. Surely something should. He remembered the electrical shock the alien device sent through him. He remembered being thrown against the wall. That hurt. I should still hurt. Shouldn't it?
He opened his eyes and frowned. He was in the med-unit, and everyone was standing around him, staring.
"What's wrong?" He stopped, cleared his throat, and tried again. "What's wrong with my voice?"
Both Avon and Vila suddenly had somewhere else to be, Gan blushed without responding and followed them. Jenna looked as if she had lost her best friend, then muttered something about having to go to the flight deck. Cally sighed and touched Blake's forehead.
"Blake…" She bit her bottom lip. "The device you touched… it…"
Blake sighed in frustration. "Get on with it!"
Cally turned away, picked up a mirror from a medical tray, and held it out to Blake.
He took it and looked at his reflection. He blinked, then blinked a bit more. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before he was able to speak. "Is this some sort of joke?"
"No," Cally said softly.
"I'm a woman!" Blake touched his face, then slide his hand down to his chest and felt… well… breasts. He slide his now trembling hand lower, between his thighs, and shuddered at the absence. "What happened?"
"We're not sure." She took the mirror from him. "Physically, you're fine. You're just…"
"Just a woman!" He sat up and glared at her.
Cally placed her hands on her hips and glared back. "Yes, you're a woman. There's nothing wrong with that, Blake. Jenna and I have lived our whole lives as women and done quite well for ourselves.
"No, no, of course. I just- I-" Blake stared down at his body, helplessly.
Cally touched his shoulder. We'll do everything in our power to switch you back. Avon and Vila brought the device up. It seems to have short-circuited.
Blake nodded and bit his thumb. In the great scheme of things, this was nothing. He still had his memories, his dreams, his beliefs. So he was a woman now, it wasn't so different. Well, all right, it was. But he was healthy and now that he thought about it, he could use it to his advantage. After all, the Federation was looking for a male Roj Blake.
"What are you thinking, Blake?"
Blake looked up at her and smiled. "I'm thinking we need Avon and Orac to access the Federation's computers to give me a history."
*****
Blake escaped the flight deck and hid, he could be honest with himself, in his room. He kept the lights dimmed, not quite ready to see that too feminine face in the mirror. He slumped on the bed and ran a hand through his hair.
He hated this. He hated how the other reacted to him, the way they didn't quite look him in the face. He hated the way Gan kept pulling back chairs and holding doors open for him. Gan didn't do that for the other-for the others. Mostly, though, mostly he hated how alien he felt in his own body, how awkward his movements were, how odd.
It was enough to make him yell and rage. But he hadn't. He wouldn't.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He could do this; he just needed time to cope. After all, he wasn't going to be stuck this way. Avon would find a way to fix the device and then Blake could change back.
Yes.
He just needed to stay calm. Take things systematically. First things first, get to know his new, temporary, body. He got to his feet and began to undo his shirt, fingers fumbling with the buttons, drawing the fabric down and off, and folding it. He did the same with the rest of his clothes, placing the pile neatly on the foot of the bed. Then after another deep breath, he turned up the lights.
Mirror, he needed a mirror.
He hurried over to the bathroom and stared at his reflection in the mirror over the sink. No, it wasn't large enough. It only showed his head and shoulders. There was only one full length mirror on the ship.
Blake quickly put on a pair of slippers and robe and hurried over to Avon's cabin.
He hit the announcer repeatedly, ignoring Avon's grumblings to wait. When the door opened, Blake pushed past Avon, dropped his robe, and stared at himself in the mirror. He wasn't a pretty woman, not by anyone's standards. For some reason, that made him feel better.
Blake pressed a hand to his chest and gasped softly. "What if you can't fix the device?"
Avon sighed and gently placed the robe around him. "Your trust in my skills astounds me, Blake."
He turned to look at Avon. "What if you can't? What if I stay like this?"
"It's hardly the worst thing in the world." Avon led him to the bed. "Sit down."
"I'd be trapped in this body! It's not supposed to look this way, feel this way. Don't you understand? This changes *everything!* I'm not even queer anymore!"
"Trust me, Blake, you are still queer. Now drink this." Avon pushed a glass of brandy into Blake's hands.
He gulped down the alcohol and spent the few minutes afterward coughing. Avon topped him off and when the coughing stopped, he took a few sips. "Vila keeps staring at my breasts."
"It isn't the first time he's stared at you, Blake. It's just the first time you've caught him."
"What?" The alcohol seemed to help him calm down, but left him a little fuzzy.
"Vila likes to look." Avon pulled a chair next to the bed and sat. "I wouldn't be flattered by his attentions."
Blake choked out a laugh. "Strangely, that makes me feel better. Thank you, Avon. I'm sorry if I've inconvenienced you."
"Ah, well, that's what I get for stealing the mirror out from under Jenna."
Blake finished his drink, then stood up. "I should get some rest. We make planet-fall early tomorrow."
Avon got to his feet and walked him to the door. "Don't get careless down there, Blake. If they catch you…"
"They won't." Before he could stop himself, he leaned in and kissed Avon. "I'm drunk." Then he leaned in again, but Avon turned his head.
"Yes, you are." He took a step back and smiled. "Try that again when you're back to normal."
"Will there be positive results?"
"You tell me, Blake. You're the social engineer."
"I never completed that coursework at University, and you know it." Blake tied the belt of his robe. "Good night, Avon."
"Good bye, Blake."
*****
Blake handed the security codes to Avon and sat back on the flight deck couch with a disgusted look on his face. "They were in his desk, written on a stickpad!"
Vila grinned and raised a glass. "Happens all the time. I don't know how many times I've helped myself to someone's safe because they've left the access codes lying about."
"Two months! I spent two months working on him, trying to find a way of coaxing those codes from him and they were there all the time!"
"I'd stick with action, Blake. It's what you're good at. Undercover work is not your forte." Avon tuned to Zen. "Resume course. Vila, you have teleport duty.
Blake smiled as Vila gave Avon a grumpy look and headed off. "Where are the others?"
"Working on a bit of sabotage on the other side of the planet." Avon made a moue of disgust. "A mutoid facility."
"Good." Blake stared at his hands. "Have you managed to fix the device?"
"No, not yet."
He closed his eyes; Avon's tone was not encouraging. "I see." He had to face the facts; he might never be a man again. Not physically, not without medical help. He fought down the anger and fear and when he opened his eyes, he was calm.
It was obvious that Avon didn't believe his pretense for one moment.
Three days later, Avon came to him and asked, "Are you drunk?"
Blake shook his head.
"Good." Then they kissed.
It was wrong. Every physical reaction, every physical response, was wrong. The dissonance of body and mind scraped at his nerves and left him raw, exposed.
"I'm sorry, Avon. I'm sorry," he whispered and reached out to touch him. Avon's body was vibrating with tension and Blake could almost taste the disappointment.
"It's all right." But it was an automatic response and they both knew it.
*****
It happened quite by accident. His teleport bracelet had been destroyed in a fight and he was running, running as fast as he could from the sound of bombs and the feel of heat. And he made it through the building, outside, still running and the wind was blowing through his hair and the sun was warm on his skin and he was in sync, body and mind perfectly happy with one another and he felt good and alive.
For that one moment.
Then pain exploded in his shoulder. And he stumbled and fell, gravel scraping the skin from his palms and knees.
He thought, 'I never got to kiss Avon properly. Just once, I want to do it properly.'
*****
The first thing Blake noticed when he woke up was that everything hurt. He opened his eyes and Cally was staring down at him with concern.
"What…. What happened," he croaked.
"You were injured." Cally picked up a cup of water and helped him to drink; it felt good, cool.
"Is that why my toes hurt?" They must have him drugged, he would never say such an asinine thing if he weren't.
Cally blinked at him. "How do you feel?"
"I hurt." He tried to sit up, but was too weak. "Was I captured?"
"No, Blake. It may have something to do with your transformation back."
"Back? Back to what?"
She smiled gently at him. "Back to your male body."
"Oh." Relief flooded Blake's body and all the tension and fear he'd held within him drained away. "How?"
"Neither Avon or Orac are sure, exactly. We brought you up and Vila noticed the device was glowing."
Blake made a questioning sound.
"Avon was fiddling with it on the flight deck. It was glowing, we brought it here and there was another flash of power and…" She gestured to him.
"Is everyone else all right?
"We're fine."
He nodded. "I need to see Avon."
"You should really rest."
"After I see Avon." Blake closed his eyes.
She sighed. "All right."
He drifted in a half-sleep, not quite ready to surrender until he'd seen Avon. Then he heard Avon's footsteps and he forced his eyes to open. "Avon."
"What do you want, Blake?" His voice was harsh and the look on his face was wary.
"I'm drunk." For a moment, he was afraid he'd said the wrong thing and Avon would leave. But then Avon shook his head.
"You always have to push, don't you, Blake?"
"I'm drunk, now kiss me before I pass out."
"It won't work." Avon leaned over.
Blake smiled and kissed back. "I'm the social engineer; you let me worry about that." His eyes were too heavy to keep open, so he closed them.
Fandom: Blake's 7
Description: Blake is turned into a woman by an alien device. He makes the best of it. After all, the Federation doesn't know he's a woman.
Type: Slash and het. (Rated PG13?)
Author's comments: I wish you more joy reading this fic than I had writing it.
The first thing Blake noticed when he came to was that nothing hurt. Surely something should. He remembered the electrical shock the alien device sent through him. He remembered being thrown against the wall. That hurt. I should still hurt. Shouldn't it?
He opened his eyes and frowned. He was in the med-unit, and everyone was standing around him, staring.
"What's wrong?" He stopped, cleared his throat, and tried again. "What's wrong with my voice?"
Both Avon and Vila suddenly had somewhere else to be, Gan blushed without responding and followed them. Jenna looked as if she had lost her best friend, then muttered something about having to go to the flight deck. Cally sighed and touched Blake's forehead.
"Blake…" She bit her bottom lip. "The device you touched… it…"
Blake sighed in frustration. "Get on with it!"
Cally turned away, picked up a mirror from a medical tray, and held it out to Blake.
He took it and looked at his reflection. He blinked, then blinked a bit more. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before he was able to speak. "Is this some sort of joke?"
"No," Cally said softly.
"I'm a woman!" Blake touched his face, then slide his hand down to his chest and felt… well… breasts. He slide his now trembling hand lower, between his thighs, and shuddered at the absence. "What happened?"
"We're not sure." She took the mirror from him. "Physically, you're fine. You're just…"
"Just a woman!" He sat up and glared at her.
Cally placed her hands on her hips and glared back. "Yes, you're a woman. There's nothing wrong with that, Blake. Jenna and I have lived our whole lives as women and done quite well for ourselves.
"No, no, of course. I just- I-" Blake stared down at his body, helplessly.
Cally touched his shoulder. We'll do everything in our power to switch you back. Avon and Vila brought the device up. It seems to have short-circuited.
Blake nodded and bit his thumb. In the great scheme of things, this was nothing. He still had his memories, his dreams, his beliefs. So he was a woman now, it wasn't so different. Well, all right, it was. But he was healthy and now that he thought about it, he could use it to his advantage. After all, the Federation was looking for a male Roj Blake.
"What are you thinking, Blake?"
Blake looked up at her and smiled. "I'm thinking we need Avon and Orac to access the Federation's computers to give me a history."
*****
Blake escaped the flight deck and hid, he could be honest with himself, in his room. He kept the lights dimmed, not quite ready to see that too feminine face in the mirror. He slumped on the bed and ran a hand through his hair.
He hated this. He hated how the other reacted to him, the way they didn't quite look him in the face. He hated the way Gan kept pulling back chairs and holding doors open for him. Gan didn't do that for the other-for the others. Mostly, though, mostly he hated how alien he felt in his own body, how awkward his movements were, how odd.
It was enough to make him yell and rage. But he hadn't. He wouldn't.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He could do this; he just needed time to cope. After all, he wasn't going to be stuck this way. Avon would find a way to fix the device and then Blake could change back.
Yes.
He just needed to stay calm. Take things systematically. First things first, get to know his new, temporary, body. He got to his feet and began to undo his shirt, fingers fumbling with the buttons, drawing the fabric down and off, and folding it. He did the same with the rest of his clothes, placing the pile neatly on the foot of the bed. Then after another deep breath, he turned up the lights.
Mirror, he needed a mirror.
He hurried over to the bathroom and stared at his reflection in the mirror over the sink. No, it wasn't large enough. It only showed his head and shoulders. There was only one full length mirror on the ship.
Blake quickly put on a pair of slippers and robe and hurried over to Avon's cabin.
He hit the announcer repeatedly, ignoring Avon's grumblings to wait. When the door opened, Blake pushed past Avon, dropped his robe, and stared at himself in the mirror. He wasn't a pretty woman, not by anyone's standards. For some reason, that made him feel better.
Blake pressed a hand to his chest and gasped softly. "What if you can't fix the device?"
Avon sighed and gently placed the robe around him. "Your trust in my skills astounds me, Blake."
He turned to look at Avon. "What if you can't? What if I stay like this?"
"It's hardly the worst thing in the world." Avon led him to the bed. "Sit down."
"I'd be trapped in this body! It's not supposed to look this way, feel this way. Don't you understand? This changes *everything!* I'm not even queer anymore!"
"Trust me, Blake, you are still queer. Now drink this." Avon pushed a glass of brandy into Blake's hands.
He gulped down the alcohol and spent the few minutes afterward coughing. Avon topped him off and when the coughing stopped, he took a few sips. "Vila keeps staring at my breasts."
"It isn't the first time he's stared at you, Blake. It's just the first time you've caught him."
"What?" The alcohol seemed to help him calm down, but left him a little fuzzy.
"Vila likes to look." Avon pulled a chair next to the bed and sat. "I wouldn't be flattered by his attentions."
Blake choked out a laugh. "Strangely, that makes me feel better. Thank you, Avon. I'm sorry if I've inconvenienced you."
"Ah, well, that's what I get for stealing the mirror out from under Jenna."
Blake finished his drink, then stood up. "I should get some rest. We make planet-fall early tomorrow."
Avon got to his feet and walked him to the door. "Don't get careless down there, Blake. If they catch you…"
"They won't." Before he could stop himself, he leaned in and kissed Avon. "I'm drunk." Then he leaned in again, but Avon turned his head.
"Yes, you are." He took a step back and smiled. "Try that again when you're back to normal."
"Will there be positive results?"
"You tell me, Blake. You're the social engineer."
"I never completed that coursework at University, and you know it." Blake tied the belt of his robe. "Good night, Avon."
"Good bye, Blake."
*****
Blake handed the security codes to Avon and sat back on the flight deck couch with a disgusted look on his face. "They were in his desk, written on a stickpad!"
Vila grinned and raised a glass. "Happens all the time. I don't know how many times I've helped myself to someone's safe because they've left the access codes lying about."
"Two months! I spent two months working on him, trying to find a way of coaxing those codes from him and they were there all the time!"
"I'd stick with action, Blake. It's what you're good at. Undercover work is not your forte." Avon tuned to Zen. "Resume course. Vila, you have teleport duty.
Blake smiled as Vila gave Avon a grumpy look and headed off. "Where are the others?"
"Working on a bit of sabotage on the other side of the planet." Avon made a moue of disgust. "A mutoid facility."
"Good." Blake stared at his hands. "Have you managed to fix the device?"
"No, not yet."
He closed his eyes; Avon's tone was not encouraging. "I see." He had to face the facts; he might never be a man again. Not physically, not without medical help. He fought down the anger and fear and when he opened his eyes, he was calm.
It was obvious that Avon didn't believe his pretense for one moment.
Three days later, Avon came to him and asked, "Are you drunk?"
Blake shook his head.
"Good." Then they kissed.
It was wrong. Every physical reaction, every physical response, was wrong. The dissonance of body and mind scraped at his nerves and left him raw, exposed.
"I'm sorry, Avon. I'm sorry," he whispered and reached out to touch him. Avon's body was vibrating with tension and Blake could almost taste the disappointment.
"It's all right." But it was an automatic response and they both knew it.
*****
It happened quite by accident. His teleport bracelet had been destroyed in a fight and he was running, running as fast as he could from the sound of bombs and the feel of heat. And he made it through the building, outside, still running and the wind was blowing through his hair and the sun was warm on his skin and he was in sync, body and mind perfectly happy with one another and he felt good and alive.
For that one moment.
Then pain exploded in his shoulder. And he stumbled and fell, gravel scraping the skin from his palms and knees.
He thought, 'I never got to kiss Avon properly. Just once, I want to do it properly.'
*****
The first thing Blake noticed when he woke up was that everything hurt. He opened his eyes and Cally was staring down at him with concern.
"What…. What happened," he croaked.
"You were injured." Cally picked up a cup of water and helped him to drink; it felt good, cool.
"Is that why my toes hurt?" They must have him drugged, he would never say such an asinine thing if he weren't.
Cally blinked at him. "How do you feel?"
"I hurt." He tried to sit up, but was too weak. "Was I captured?"
"No, Blake. It may have something to do with your transformation back."
"Back? Back to what?"
She smiled gently at him. "Back to your male body."
"Oh." Relief flooded Blake's body and all the tension and fear he'd held within him drained away. "How?"
"Neither Avon or Orac are sure, exactly. We brought you up and Vila noticed the device was glowing."
Blake made a questioning sound.
"Avon was fiddling with it on the flight deck. It was glowing, we brought it here and there was another flash of power and…" She gestured to him.
"Is everyone else all right?
"We're fine."
He nodded. "I need to see Avon."
"You should really rest."
"After I see Avon." Blake closed his eyes.
She sighed. "All right."
He drifted in a half-sleep, not quite ready to surrender until he'd seen Avon. Then he heard Avon's footsteps and he forced his eyes to open. "Avon."
"What do you want, Blake?" His voice was harsh and the look on his face was wary.
"I'm drunk." For a moment, he was afraid he'd said the wrong thing and Avon would leave. But then Avon shook his head.
"You always have to push, don't you, Blake?"
"I'm drunk, now kiss me before I pass out."
"It won't work." Avon leaned over.
Blake smiled and kissed back. "I'm the social engineer; you let me worry about that." His eyes were too heavy to keep open, so he closed them.