So I Went To This Party...

[blairmacg]

I've a fabulous girlfriend who lives in the next town. We've known each other about ten years: went through first-degree black belt training and testing together, went through the loss of husbands together, and have watched each other's kids grow up. We can't get together often because our schedules rarely coincide. But her oldest daughter just

Comments

[mrissa]

Parents with the teenagers who are supposedly horrid people: ARRRRGH HATE THIS. You know what I hate most? When I praise something specific their kid did and they cannot accept the compliment and move on. Real life example: "I had [person's stepdaughter] K over doing yard work for me [for money] on Wednesday, and she did such a great job! I was so glad to have her!" Stepmom: "Geez, I wish she'd work hard on anything at OUR house." Now, granted, I get that money is a different motivator than family chores and I might well have been seeing a different side of K than her stepmom gets. But once you are somebody's parent--and yes, steps count--I really think that your job is to smile and say thank you in public when someone compliments the kid, unless you have some reason to think that the person giving the compliment has been deceived, and in some cases even then.

And geez, if that's how stepmom acts, no wonder she sees a sullen and unwilling K!

[thanate]

Eep, yes.

Grauwulf had an experience with a truly terrible not-actually-renter who on the final walk-through when he kicked her out of the house went off on a tangent about how some of the damage was the fault of her teenage daughter and she "would have strangled that b---- at birth" if she had known how much trouble the girl would cause her. Which is not exactly what you say to the proud parent of a 5-month-old, even if for some reason you feel it's appropriate to say it ever at all.

Huzzah for meeting other people with sensible parenting theories. :)

[mrissa]

Anyone who will talk about her teenager that way is at least the partial cause of the teenager's behavior. SERIOUSLY.

[blairmacg]

Gah!! I'm always shocked to learn there are actually real people who say such things about children.

[sartorias]

Glad you found a friend.

And who knows, maybe the other woman listened because she was curious, and curiosity can lead to experiencing other views . . .

[blairmacg]

I think she experienced other views, and was certainly curious... But she wore the extreme expression of unguarded shock above crossed arms and crossed legs. I admit I'm curious to talk with my friend to find out if anything was said after we left. :)