I woke up today feeling much more like myself. Went to the dentist to have my gums torn apart, picked up my spiffy new wet suit, went for a drive to see if my friend was home, talked to the sweet guy im hoping to see again, and I danced to Arethra Franklin. Oh yes did I dance. Not only did I dance but I sang. I feel like I am starting to warm up ( Read more... )

For the past 4 months I have been numb. I was in a relationship that I couldn't feel, I was making horrible decisions and hurting people, and I hated myself for my lack of emotion. I could figure out that could really only feel two things; the pain of losing my best friend and an orgasm. So I started having sex. Eventually sex became to me as ( Read more... )

I'm not exactly sure what I am doing anymore, so I have decided to just live. I figure by getting up and doing what I am supposed to do everyday, I will eventually come across something that will make everything make sense. Before everything happened, before I lost him, I might have freaked out in not knowing where I am going; but at this point I ( Read more... )

Hello everyone ( Read more... )

I don't know who I am anymore. I used to have such conviction, I used to know who I was and where I wanted to go. Where did all the determination go? It seems that I have not only lost myself but things even more important to me. I just hope that I can get them back. But when you lose yourself you losed other people and the only way to get them ( Read more... )

A person of great conviction must be prepared to act alone.

The last few days have been hell. There were a few times I thought my whole world would change. But after today I guess it is apparent that things will be ok again. It's a know fact that life cant stay bad forever. Just a few more days till I go back to school. I will miss a lot of things about home but I can't wait to get back. I know where my ( Read more... )

I had one of my more vile nights last night. It didn't seem to end. Arguments with my parents and arguments with my friends. I'm really overwhelmed at some of the things that are being said to me. I really don't know if it is me being a bad person or them being assholes. It's getting to the point lately that I don't even care to seperate the two. I ( Read more... )

So anyways I'm getting to know a knew guy which is something I had not planned on. One of my things in the past has been the fact that I am so sick of putting all this effort into people and getting nothing back from it. It would be nice to have someone fall in love with me for a change. Then the ball would be in my court. I guess because of my own ( Read more... )

Wow it's been such a long time and a lot has happened. Can't quite say I am the same person I was before. I've learned a lot of lessons and many of them were done the hard way. The summer is almost up and I feel like it was completely wasted. All the drama that followed getting out of school was so not worth my entire summer. But no worries, I am ( Read more... )