Title- Damn You, Autocorrect!
Fandom- Suits
Ship- Harvey/Mike
Rating- PG-13
Genre- comedy, slash, first-time
Warnings- unbetaed
Wordcount- 400
Disclaimer- I do not own Suits
Summary- Harvey and Mike have issues with texting.
A/N- written for a prompt
here at
suitsmeme : How about a fic in which Mike and Harvey are texting, and one of them gets his message autocorrected to something that sounds like a sexual proposition.
Crossed out stuff is what they meant to write, but didn't.
Mike: I’m leaving the office closet.
Harvey: …Good for you.
Mike: Taking Eating Rachel out for lunch. Want me to bring you back anything?
Harvey: …No, thank fuck you.
Mike: Well you don’t have to be so rude.
Harvey: …
Mike: I did everything I was supposed to before I took my lunch break! I emailed nailed the client.
Harvey: Jesus Christ Crust Mike!!!
Mike: What??? I emailed her about the conference cunnilingus.
Harvey: Get your ass back here this minute!
Mike: What? Why? Anyway, I can’t! My bike dyke can’t hold two people, so we had to walk wank. It’ll take fifteen minutes to get back.
Harvey: God damnit damsel, Mike, if you’re not back in the office closet in five minutes, you’re fired fried!
Mike: How the fuck duck??? Well, sorry, no, I’m secure enough in my manhood manboobs to be honest about my sexuality.
Harvey: This isn’t about your sexuality sensuality, Mike. I need to talk to you about the client clit!
Mike: What???
Harvey: I need to talk fuck with you!
Mike: I’m leaving now you.
Harvey: What?
Mike: I’m going back to the office closet. We need to sort this shit out.
Harvey: I wasn’t aware awake we were dating.
Mike: Well we won’t if you keep talking fucking like this!
Harvey: Who the hell bell do you think I’m fucking lucky?
Mike: You’re not making any sense sex!
Harvey: That’s what right I just told hold you!
Mike: Oh, now you want to be nice, huh hot?
Harvey: Look, Mike, this conversation fornication is ridiculous. I don’t know what who you’re saying sexting.
Mike: I’m not sexting anybody!
Harvey: I never said you were!
Mike: But you just did died!!!
Harvey: …
Mike:…
Harvey:…
Mike: OMG. Just saw all the autocorrect autocratic mistakes in these texts. I’m calling killing you.
Harvey: What?
Harvey:…
Harvey: I just realized there have been a lot of mistakes mistresses in my texts sex.
Mike: What Fuck?
Harvey: I apologize applesauce.
Mike: I’m still calling killing you.
Mike-”Hi.”
Harvey- “Hello, Michael.”
Mike- “I think we got off on the wrong foot. How about we start this conversation over?”
Harvey- “That sounds like a good idea.”
Mike- “I hate autocorrect. And I love you. What about you?”
Harvey- “I… feel the same way.”
Mike- “Good. We can talk about this when I get back to the office. I have the feeling it’s gonna be the best how-we-got-together story ever.”
Harvey- “I’m sure it will be.”
Mike- “…I’m hanging up now. I love you.”
Harvey- “I love you too. Bye.”
Mike- “Bye.”